IDS #158 ‐ Potato Maynard

Episode 158 - Potato Maynard

[00:00:00] Yeah, 

Mike: our first thing, I have a German 

Darin: first thing used to have a gym in Ohio and um, 

Mike: You, you can edit that out. I'm no, you're 

Darin: not. I'm not sorry. No, you're not. I, I keep 

Mike: forgetting that you actually get mad at how can you 

Darin: forget when we go through it every 

Mike: freaking week. It is like me with the drum thing that you do, that I, you put one in the other day and it's fine.

It worked on something I did. It was on you and it you said I'm 

Darin: allowed to do 

Mike: it when I do it. You are in it. Fit. And I was, I smiled. You dropped the rules. I smiled. Mm-hmm. I never dropped rules. What you're allowed to do. You never think the IRS is gonna come back. And I was like, the I s was like, oh, well.

Yep. He used the Darren Rule, so it's good. I can do it if I say it. You can claim that deduction. It's fine. Yeah, yeah.

Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke and some dry white toast 

Darin: please. Welcome to Irritable Dad syndrome. The riders ran out of ideas for funny intros. [00:01:00] Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren. Hey, I'm Darren. I am Michael. Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. This is episode 1 58. We are thrilled that you are with us.

This is gonna be a fantastic show tonight or today. It depends on what time you're listing. I'm going to talk about why one of my arms smells worse than the other. Mike,

I've been waiting all day. 

Mike: Just say that I'm gonna talk about how much I love hotdog. 

Darin: Okay. And I have a hotdog story also. Okay? So, uh, welcome to Irritable death syndrome. We're glad you're here, and we want you to know that if you go to irritable dad syndrome.com, you can listen to all of our previous episodes.

And if you really love the show, if you care, if you have it in you, in your heart. You can go to irritable dad syndrome, you can go to Patreon and you can spare a dollar or a few dollars. Are you? And you can become a patron and you can help us keep the lights on. Yeah. Are you doing 

Mike: an [00:02:00] alter call for the Our audience?

Give. Give until it hurts. Give until it 

Darin: hurts. Give until, until you actually have pain. Give to irritable dad syndrome. 

Mike: A lot's happened since our last episode. Yeah, I know. I got a cup of coffee. Yeah. And we talked about tattoos. That's right. 

Darin: So Mike has been saying, Uhhuh, you've told me this before. Mm-hmm.

That you and BES decided that by the time you're 50, when we're 50, when 

Mike: you're 50, we're gonna get two tattoos. 

Darin: Not just tattoos, but U2 tattoos. Yeah. Yeah. And 

Mike: we made that deal back in our thirties. Okay. Because fifties a long way away. Oh yeah. That'll never, yeah. And then I was telling you mm-hmm. That because we're going to Vegas.

Yeah. To see you two this year. The band that shall not be named, 

Darin: did I just name them repeatedly? This whole story, we just, it's fine. It's fine. We haven't mentioned them in 

Mike: a few weeks. Yeah, we're fine. Yeah. Uh, why not do it then in Vegas? And I mentioned that to her and she, she repeated of it. You want to get it now, [00:03:00] right?

Like the idea of getting them at 48 47 is crazy. Yeah. We gotta wait till we're 50, but I'm like, we're gonna be there. The whole family, it's all centered around this. 

Darin: Why not? Why not get in Las Vegas and spend like 10 times the amount on it? Do it because 

Mike: it's such a, a. Uh, better quality because it's in Vegas.

Darin: Have you ever had a Las Vegas tattoo? No. Then how do you 

Mike: know it's gonna be better quality? Well, they have nice websites. 

Darin: I know a guy who can do it for you. Very, very good. Okay. And a lot cheaper than you can do it in Las Vegas, 

Mike: someone, I tell you a story. Okay? I, I'm in a it's 

Darin: story time with Mike. I'm 

Mike: in a tool fan group.

I've talked about them 

Darin: before. Yes, you have. 

Mike: Every once in a while in this group, somebody says, show your ink, or, let's see your tool tattoos. It happens in the U2 group as well. Yeah. The Rush group, they don't give a what's on your arm. They don't care, right? Mm mm And invariably when that happens, somebody brings up what is [00:04:00] called lovingly, the potato Maynard.

Okay? The Potato Maynard is, somebody took a picture of Maynard. To a tattoo artist. Yeah. And they tried to put that picture on their arm and it ends up looking like a potato. A potato singing. And it's every single time Uhhuh, someone mentions tattoo, someone in the group puts Potato Maynard up. And the rest of us who have been in the group for years laugh ourselves silly at all.

The new members of the group zone. What is it? What is it? And, and talking about that, doing like, yeah, that's a thing. And somebody actually has that on their arm. Yeah. It went from something that people laugh at because it's stupid. Mm-hmm. To people have actually had potato Maynard put on themselves intentionally.

Okay. As a. Like, so 

Darin: there's, there's two reasons why I would never get a tattoo. Uhhuh. One, I can't stand needles. Yeah. I just 

Mike: can't do needles. You gotta do they, they have, that's a way, that's how they do it is with needles. Yeah. Yeah. One, [00:05:00] 

Darin: uh, one a Uhhuh, uh, one a. Yeah. Uh, it hurts Uhhuh. Okay. I don't like pain.

So that's, that's a second part of reason number one. Mm-hmm. And then, uh, B or two is, If I ever had to get a tattoo, like state law, you're required to. Yeah, I would get a Johnny Cash tattoo. Hello. I'm Johnny Cash Uhhuh. The older I get, I think maybe I would get a Billy Idle tattoo. Yeah, but I know it would have to be just the word.

Cash. Okay. Or, or idle. Okay. Okay. The Billy Idol's logo, because I cannot trust anybody to put their face on my arm. Yeah. Because I don't want potato Johnny Cash. I don't want potato Billy Idle. That's why 

Mike: I'm not just gonna go down the street. Yeah. To huckabee's tattoos. Right. You know, right next to the, the Wendy's right here.

Have a frosty while I put Potato Maynard on your thing. You know, I'll have Lego bono on there. I was like, what the hell are you doing? Lego bono? Lego bono. Yeah. [00:06:00] So I want someone who's gone to Tattoo University. Okay? I want a degreed tattoo artist. Do they 

Darin: have a a degree tattooing? 

Mike: Don't they had a place for good burger when they learned how to make burgers?

They gotta have a tattoo, please. Two completely different 

Darin: things. I am going to recommend my guy. Yeah, you can look into him. Okay. All you want. Okay. Go with him or not? Yeah. If you don't use him, you want to go to Vegas and pay an extra thousand dollars. Okay. That knock 

Mike: yourself out. I mean, when it comes down to something that's permanently on my body.

Uhhuh. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. My guy might not even want to, course neither of my things is gonna be a, I'm not gonna get a face. I think I told you I'm gonna, I'm I, the idea is on one arm that Joshua Tree. Mm-hmm. And the other arm, the Oct tongue. Baby. Baby. Okay. The space baby. Yeah, space baby. Not the, not the creepy ass logo they came up with for this tour, which somebody needs to get that away.

Yeah, the old Gotcha. You know what I'm talking about. I know exactly what you're talking about. Welcome to the show. Welcome.[00:07:00] 

Darin: This portion of our show is brought to you by the Taco Bar Calculator. Hi, I'm Dave Lay. And I love tacos and I also love to throw taco parties. I don't mean to brag, but the little wife and I have quite a few friends and we used to have a problem figuring out how many ingredients to buy when throwing a taco party.

That was until we discovered the taco bar calculator. Let me tell you how this works. All you gotta do is type in how many people are coming to the party. And the Taco Bar calculator does the work for you. It tells you how many pounds of meat, how many heads of lettuce, how many jars of salsa, how many boxes of taco shells, how many bags of cheese, how many ounces of sour cream.

I think you get the idea, the Taco Bar calculator available on the internet. Just go to Google, Yahoo, or Bing. And type in Taco Bar calculator. That's right. Now back to the show. So when we started, I mentioned that one of my arms smells way worse than the other one. Yeah. And I'm gonna tell you why. Okay. So my mom gave us her gas grill [00:08:00] and uh, it's on my front porch.

Okay. People ask me, why is your grill on your front porch? Because at our old house we had a grill on the back porch and the wind. Here in Ohio. Okay, my God, the wind has taken down three gazebos. Uh, a big chunk of our fence. We lost a patio table. We've lost several chairs and we've had our grill knocked over.

Not one, not twice, but, uh, thre. Our grill is blown down. Thre busted up, and I'm sick and tired. One, I don't like grilling. Uhhuh. I just don't enjoy grilling. I love grilling. Well, My opinion of it is changing. Okay. I have it on my front porch. It's covered. Mm-hmm. Okay. I'm not standing in the blaring sun. I can grill in the rain.

I can grill when it snows. Really? If I wanted to. Yeah. Any who? I got mom's grill. The problem with mom's grill is the igniter doesn't work. Okay. That's the problem. So you gotta turn on the gas and then we've got one of them candle lighters. Mm-hmm. And you, and then 

Mike: the flames come up. You can't wait around too long for it.

Otherwise that Right. [00:09:00] Becomes a boom. Yeah. I learned that 

Darin: Okay. Yesterday and I didn't think I had it on long enough. Yeah. Yeah. But I lit it. Boom. The flames come off and burned almost all the hair off my right arm. Yeah. And then the cinch hair blows all over my shirt. 

Mike: So I'm like, 

Darin: I'm like, what the hell is this?

And I'm sitting there. Oh, and I'm w and then I'm wiping my arm and I smell it. Oh 

Mike: my God. Yeah. You don't wanna burnt hair. 

Darin: Smells horrible. It does. It's not good. Yeah. Yeah. And so we're all trying to eat our pork chops and it's like, yeah, that's that smell. Yeah. Oh, that's your dad. He, he's on, he was on fire earlier, but he is not on 

Mike: fire.

And apple, back in the day when I would use my curlers, it would get stinky around the dorm. Your 

Darin: curlers. Back when you did, you did your own perm. 

Mike: I did my own perm on Sundays last through the last week. It lasted whole 

Darin: week. Week. Yeah. You know what if you, you know if you keep it conditioned, you do. Yeah.

Yeah. 

Mike: Take care of it. I'll wash it every four days. Take care 

Darin: of your hair. And your [00:10:00] hair will take care of you. That's what my dad always said. Yeah. Olive 

Mike: oil and squirrel droppings. It really makes it look nice. 

Darin: Makes it look a real 

Mike: nice. Really nice.

Darin: I don't know if you're constantly telling your kids to do things a certain way, and do they do it or do they not do it? I, I don't know if that situation comes up at your house. I, I know it does. Yeah. I'm just playing along for 

Mike: the, the podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. 

Darin: So one of the things that we have asked the kids to do, mm-hmm.

And you may disagree with me, okay? And I'm, you probably will because you disagree with me all the 

Mike: time. I'm ready to disagree. Okay? I'm waiting to hear what it is so I can take the opposite point of 

Darin: point of view. When my son Cameron gets outta the shower, Uhhuh, he gets outta the shower. I don't even know if he.

I don't even know if he puts a towel on him at all. Uhhuh, because he will put on his pajamas. He'll come downstairs every now and then. He'll give us a hug. His shirt is soaking wet. Yeah. I'm like, [00:11:00] dude, you gotta dry yourself before you get dressed. His hair is dripping. Wait before you get dressed. 

Mike: Before you get dressed.

He doesn't dry himself 

Darin: before he gets dressed. I don't dressed. Don't think he does because his pajama shirt is like soaking wet and he says, I thought I did. Like, how can you think you did? You either know if you put the towel on you or, or not. That's not, there's no gray area there. This is not 

Mike: where I thought you were going.

Okay. 

Darin: So what I, this is okay, I'm gonna talk about showering and I'm hoping that nobody listening, uh, is imagining me naked in the shower. Trigger warning, if you do, okay, great. Uh, when I get outta the shower mm-hmm. Okay. While I'm standing in the shower. In the shower. In the shower. You towel off. I take the towel and I towel off.

Yes. I, I dry off my body. Uhhuh. Okay. And then, and then you step out and I step out. I put my right foot out. Yeah. And then I dry it uhhuh and then, uh, my left foot out. Yeah. And then I shake it all about. That's what I do 

Mike: because we're civilized people. You do the same thing I do. Because, because I don't want what?

We always have a sopping, the mat [00:12:00] outside of the shower is sopping freaking wet. Yes. Yes. Can you dry off in the tub? Yeah. Why? Yeah, because, because, right. Look. Thank you. Look at this. Well, that's what it's for. No, no, no, no. It's not. 

Darin: Not the mat is to keep your feet warm. Yeah. When you get out of said shower and to 

Mike: protect the floor Yes.

And to prevent water from going everywhere. Yes. It's not there to act as a towel gravity machine. Yeah. As the water comes off of you all, this is where this water goes. I can't believe 

Darin: you agree with me. Oh, I really, I really thought you were gonna 

Mike: go head to heaven on this. Oh, I just went off about this yesterday.

Yeah. Not to anyone. I just, to myself in the bathroom. Why the, yeah, there's just always, I don't, I hate stepping outta the shower and it's like, yeah. 

Darin: Yeah. Yeah. So we don't have a mat out of our door. We just, there's no point in buying a mat. We would use a towel. Okay. Okay. A towel on the floor. And so my kids ask, well, why do you have a towel on the floor?

Well, [00:13:00] you don't slip. They get directly outta the shower, and then the towel is sopping wet. Yeah. And then the towel gets, starts to mold. Mm-hmm. If, if you leave it there long enough, yeah. Which, which we don't. Yeah. But the floor. The more moisture the floor gets, it's gonna start warping. It's not good for floors.

No, it's not. So, so we have this conversation and we've had it a few 

Mike: times. There is a horror meme, okay. And we've talked about it before. Okay. And I can't believe that this is coming up again. The back rooms we've talked about, the back rooms, I've talked about the back rooms. One aspect of the back rooms, remember it's a horror meme.

Yeah. That, you know, anytime you have these, within the past few years, they like to make every aspect of whatever it is you're talking about, the worst possible that it can be. Yeah. One of the things that sticks out about the back rooms is they're all carpeted and slightly moist. Yeah. Why would you do that?

Gross. Because it's gross. Yeah. Because when you step on moist carpet mm-hmm. Something. [00:14:00] It's not either 

Darin: something peed, you want to get back in the shower. 

Mike: Something was slaughtered. Something untoward happened. Yeah. I 

Darin: don't wanna wear flip flops in my own shower. Yeah, you do that at camp. Oh, you do that at the beach?

You do that at the pool? Yeah. 

Mike: I've, I've, I've even tried to do it that way. Just, I'm like, okay, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And I've gotten out of the shower completely sopping wet and stood on Uhhuh, and I've jumped back in. It feels 

Darin: alien to me. It does. Me too. 

Mike: It's like ting off in the pool. Yeah's like, what are you doing?

Why 

Darin: are you doing it that way? I, but I don't understand the resistance. Because my kids just won't like, whoa, whoa. What's the big deal? Well, if there's no big deal, then just do it in the shower. Now some, if there's no big deal, then the argument applies the other way. 

Mike: Yeah. Something I do that is frowned 

Darin: upon, and this is why the show is called Irritable Dad Syndrome.

Mike: That's right. Something that I do that I, it is frowned upon in my household. Okay. I still do it because I'm an adult. Mm-hmm. [00:15:00] And it's my house. Yeah. And I can do what I want because you pay the mortgage when it's humid mm-hmm. When we're in the summer months, and so we're here now. Mm-hmm. And I take a shower.

Mm-hmm. I towel off, I put the towel on my waist, and then I walk to the bedroom. Mm-hmm. And I just hang out for a little bit, walk around, let that air get in there. Before I put on my clothes. Why? Okay. Because I don't wanna put clothes on myself. Wet. Yeah. If you try to put a t-shirt or a shirt on when you're wet, yeah.

That's you. You'll, you'll pull a muscle. You'll pull something. That's what she said. If you do your underwear uhhuh, you have instant swamp ass, which you should not have right. When you're out of the shower. No. Your leg, if you're putting on jammy pants, Uhhuh, which I do all the time. Yeah. I love my one leg.

If, if your legs are wet, one will get stuck in there. Yeah. You're liable to twist a hip. Yeah. And fall. Yeah. And hit your head on the thing people have. It's not a way you would and then that's a weird funeral. Yeah, 

Darin: no, [00:16:00] Mike died 

Mike: doing what? He loved putting on pajamas wet. He always knew it was gonna be the Spider-Man one that got him.

Yeah. Oh no. You and I, I'm 100% on the dry your ass off in the shower before shower, so you get out the mat is there as protection. It's time 

Darin: now for the Kroger story of the week. I have a couple of updates to a Kroger story of the week. My buddy Steve Farrell. Called me up and told me about the, uh, big old hotdog party.

Yeah. So what he did is he went to Kroger and he had two packs of hot dogs. Yeah. He put 'em on a conveyor belt. The lady in line behind him, she said, uh, uh, she says, what are you having a party? And then her husband's like, yeah, big old hotdog party. Yeah. So that was the story. Hilarious. Yeah. Okay. Hilarious.

So he calls me up again. He went back to Kroger and his favorite hotdog. I didn't ask him the brand because they, they're not swampers. Okay. Yeah. So I, I, I don't want to have a problem with our, yeah. With our main sponsor. Yeah. His favorite brand of hot dogs were on [00:17:00] sale for 79 cents. Oh, that's okay. That's a steal.

Yeah. So he buys 10 packs of hot dogs. Okay. You, you buy 'em, you put 'em in the freezer. Okay. I've never frozen a hotdog. Well, you can freeze hot dogs. Yeah, you can free, yeah. I mean, you gotta eat 'em within like a year, I think. Yeah. You freeze anything, I guess. Yeah. Well, yeah. So he buys 10 packs of hotdog and he's waiting.

Uhhuh just waiting. Now is the chance for anybody to ask, are you having a hotdog party? Yeah. Nobody asked nobody. He was so disappointed. Yeah. So the only good that came out of that was he got mentioned on our podcast again. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Now my mom. She went to Kroger and the person in front of her has like, I don't know, 20 packs of, uh, chicken breast.

Okay. And she asked him, are you having a chicken party? Oh. 

Mike: Glad you're gonna say breast party, but No, no, 

Darin: no. And so I, I love how people who, because mom listens to the show. Yeah. Yeah. I love how people who listen to the show try to start at the Kroger. [00:18:00] It's like, by God, if Dar gets a Kroger story of the week.

That's right. Every week. That's right. I can get one too. That's right. 

Mike: So, yeah. Yeah. Give us your story where you used. Jump the coin. 

Darin: Exactly. Or dent. Dent. If something is so dent or if something really jumps your coin, let us know. This has been the Kroger story of the 

Mike: week, so we're gonna the beach. Okay.

Now, longtime listeners of the show and people who know me know that last year we went to the opposite of the beach, right? We went to the desert, right. Mikey, that's 

Darin: not really opposite. The opposite of the beach is the snow, like the mountains. 

Mike: Hello. So last year we went the opposite of the beach. We went to the desert.

Mikey don't like no water. No. Mikey gets nervous around the water. Right? Facebook knows this. TikTok knows this. Mm-hmm. That's why they keep throwing all these Fatphobia. Uhhuh. Is that what the phobia Okay. Yeah. Wa I'm scared of water. Things like, Hey, did you know that this exists down 20,000 feet? [00:19:00] I'm not planning on being 20,000 feet down there, but I know what's down there waiting on me.

I saw a video yesterday 

Darin: Yeah. Of, uh, someplace in Florida where a bear swam up. A bear. Oh my god. A bear. A bear. A bear. A bear was in the ocean. Lemme say it again. A bear. Hey, what happened was in the ocean and swam up to shore and 

Mike: everyone's like, oh, what the hell? God. That's a new thing to be scared of in the water.

A bear. Watch out for bears. Yeah. 

Darin: Yeah. 

Mike: So anyway, I, yeah, I saw a video this morning. This is what I woke up to. Okay. Uh, I was flipping through TikTok cause I didn't want to get out of bed and go to work yet. I'm with you. I'm flipping through that. And it said, uh, these swimmers had no idea what was 20 feet away from them.

Oh yeah. And it's a shot from a helicopter and there's people just frolicking in the ocean. Mm-hmm. Live playing around. Mm-hmm. And about 30, 20 to 30 feet away, you're like, whoa. That's 1, 2, 3, 5, [00:20:00] 9. 10, 11. That's 12 sharks. Yeah. And they, because you can see their fins and they're like edging closer and closer to the people.

Yeah. And then the people get out of the water. Could have been 

Darin: dolphins. I. It wasn't, you 

Mike: know what the sharks were looking for? They had little tear uh, tattoos next to, you know, know what the sharks were looking for. What a bear. A bear. 

Darin: Ah, Waka Waka. I'm craving bear. 

Mike: So, uh, I have been, I can't help it. I get all this facts, I get all these data uhhuh and I, I know I shouldn't, uh, throw it out there because I know Best is excited and I am excited about the beach as well.

Um, I'm just not a beach person, right. And I'm scared of the water. So Bess is talking to the kids about what they want to do, and I think it was Charlie or Andrew said something about jellyfish and Beth said something like, oh, there, there probably won't be any jellyfish. Uh, facto mc factor ton here says, actually, yeah, this is a big jellyfish month when we're going for that area.

Yeah. Uh, [00:21:00] did that the time Jacob 

Darin: got stung by a jellyfish? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It was like, it was like 20 minutes after I got stung by a jellyfish. Yeah. And I got stung mildly. Yeah. By a jellyfish. I'm like, oh, ow. Mm-hmm. And then Jacob's like, Wow. Yeah. Yeah. One of those. And the jellyfish wrapped from an ankle around.

Yeah. Almost up to his knee when a full revolution on his leg. Yeah. 

Mike: Yeah. So, and, and some other stories talk about jellyfish. We're gonna be in Florida. Okay. And I, I read that, uh, not only I, I read that sharks are coming into the rivers. Apparently there's a version of a shark, right, that it doesn't care.

No one told it that you can't be in salt water. So it's just like, Loves freshwater. Yeah. Screw you guys. I'm going up freshwater lane. Yeah. Yeah. And I know there's probably some biology major that says, uh, that can't happen. Well, it did. It did. It did, yeah. Multiple times. Mm-hmm. So anyone that tells you, Hey, you're in a river, you're safe from sharks, right?

No. Right. And then on the other side you got salt water crocodiles. Hey Mike, what's that? Uhhuh. Well, imagine. The scariest crocodile [00:22:00] you can imagine. Okay. Now take its size and balloon it up about four times. Yeah. And give it a big old prehistoric. I'm a dinosaur that's lived for 60 million years Brain.

Mm-hmm. Right there. Mm-hmm. It doesn't care. Right. What you are. No. You move and you have life within you, it can consume you. Yeah. It doesn't care who you are. Yeah. What's in your bank account, what kind of Ferrari you drive, it's going to eat you Uhhuh. And now in Florida and around there's saltwater and freshwater version.

Okay? So you may be in the ocean thinking, well I need to watch out for sharks, but at least no crocodiles are gonna get me, right? So, so you go to the river and you're like, at least no sharks will get me. Right. Anywhere you happen to be. Mm-hmm. If there's water near you mm-hmm. You're 

Darin: in danger. Now you now you gotta worry about bear and bear Uhhuh and bears.

Yeah. It 

Mike: reminds me of Land Shark. Like, it's like you, I'm [00:23:00] safe from every, I'm safe from Bears here. Mrs. 

Darin: Rosberg. Yeah.

Mike: I was reading about Australia. Cuz when you have these fears that I do mm-hmm. The internet loves to just shoot stuff at you. Especially with ai, I know it's listening everything that I'm saying. Yeah. And so I get all these stories about saltwater crocodiles that devoured a country. You know, all these, 

Darin: it was, it was a very small 

Mike: country, to be fair.

I watch, uh, what's his name? Um, Mr. Ballin. Watch his videos on YouTube. Oh, okay. He's really, he's actually really good. Yeah. Excellent storyteller. Mm-hmm. But he tells some horrible stories and you read the, the comments about things that happened to people in Australia. Everything that happens. Outside in Australia is horrifying.

And I know you've been there. Yeah. And I haven't, yeah. And I've always wanted to go. Spent two weeks. It was lovely. Yeah. 

Darin: Uh, I never even saw, uh, I never even saw a spider, 

Mike: apparently. Yeah. Apparently if there's signs saying, don't swim in here. Yeah. You not only do [00:24:00] you not swim in there, You don't even read the sign, you back away to the point to where you can't see any shimmer of water near there.

Yeah. Because there are things in there that will kill you. Mm-hmm. And there's things on the shore that will come out and laugh at you while you're dying. Yeah. So anyway. Yeah. These factoids keep coming out. Best. Best wants. You're gonna be a hoot on vacation. Be wants to go para selling. And she said, well, you never really touched the water.

I'm like, yeah, you, until your cord strap breaks. Until your, it breaks or, and I happened to see a video of a rather portly gentleman who was para came out and went plunk right down in the water Plunk. Yep. Right there. Yep. And she said, well, You know, that's, uh, that's, he's probably over the weight. I was like, look at me.

Darin: Yeah, I'm gonna be over the weight. I love how she used, well, I mean, honey, look, he was sped. I mean, he, um, 

Mike: yeah. 

Darin: Oh man. Yeah. Hey, did you ever see the video of the guy, the, the camera is mounted in the thing where they're parasailing and they [00:25:00] run and they jump, and he forgets that he wasn't strapped in. No.

And he's hanging on no, for dear life, screaming his nuts off. My God. And, and the dude who's strapped in is like holding him by his boat. Like, hang on.

And your family's upstairs? Yeah. What is Dar? Yeah. No, they're, it's just, I mean, okay. He lived, yeah. Now that he's lived, it's 

Mike: really funny.

Oh my gosh. Have you seen the picture of the crocodile that is just under the footbridge and staring out? It, it keeps getting, it keeps popping up in all my feeds. It knows I'm terrified. Huh? It's probably popping up right now in my feed, so, right. Oh, he's talking about AI is like, oh, he's talking about it.

Yeah, it's this. Okay. Do you remember the never ending story? 

Darin: I never saw it, but I remember it. Okay. Well, this is not good. I had, I had no interest in seeing it. Okay. So [00:26:00] it, it may be a great, don't hate me. It may be a great movie. 

Mike: I just, yeah. Oh, sorry. So I don't know where this picture is. It just keeps going.

Next time it pops up to me, I'm gonna send it to you. Okay. It's a footbridge. And it's going over a swampy thing. Mm-hmm. And you're like, oh, that's nice. It's a swamp. A swamp. Yeah. And you look down and you're like, oh, there's, those are weird rocks, Uhhuh. Oh, there's a teeth. Yeah. Oh my God. And then you see.

Two shining green eyes, not like Photoshop shining, just the way the light's hitting. There's green eyes and they're staring directly at whoever's taking the picture. And then you realize how far away they are, the size of the planks on this footbridge and how big that thing must be. Yeah. And then you remember those things are lightning fast.

Yes. When they're ready to go. Yep. You're done. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. And it's that picture. I'm gonna look for it. Yeah. 

Darin: Years ago when I worked at Channel 11 in Johnson City. Mm-hmm. Uh, my buddy Jim Livingston was talking about, uh, he, he had watched something on the Nature Channel. Yeah. He used to watch the Nature [00:27:00] Channel all the time.

And he asked, he said, Darren, do you know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? And I said, uh, well, one, I believe they're the same thing. And two, I'm not, I'm not sure what everyone says is the difference. All I know is if you're ever being chased by an alligator, you gotta run zigzag. Yeah.

Because they, you can't outrun them, but you can out-maneuver them. Yeah. Because of how long they're, he says That's like, that's that. No, it's not. It's true. I mean, I've, I've. Seen it many times and he argued and argued, and argued and argued with me about it. Because I clearly don't know anything. Yeah. Yeah.

About this, right? Yeah. David Jenkins walks into the office and he's, Jim reminds me a lot of you, as soon as somebody comes in, I'm gonna see if this guy agrees with me. Therefore, Darren is wrong, says David, do you know the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? Yeah. And Dave says, uh, no. But I know if they're chasing you, you gotta run zigzag.[00:28:00] 

Word for word. Oh, and, and Jim says, oh, screw both of you and Stormed outta the office. We hope you guys had a good time. We had a good time. I did. Yeah. And, uh, you know what? Next time we do this, we're hoping that that time isn't gonna be a good time too. Oh yeah. And I can't talk. Yep. So, uh, join us next time on irritable dancing.

Before we go, here's a quick reminder. Don't forget to adjust your clock. One hour. Thanks. And we'll see you later, crocodile, after a while, alligator. And that's all I got. I don't have anything else to talk about. 

Mike: Oh, oh, I'm gonna 

Darin: do like Conan O'Brien, just spin my ring on the table. Count 

Mike: ceiling, a seatbelt is there to keep you from.

Hitting the dashboard and dying. Yeah. It's not there as a, uh, flotation device. You lost me. You, you can edit that out. Did I mention 

Darin: that I burned the hair off my arm? You did? Yeah. What did 

Mike: that smell? Yeah. I had nothing for this episode. [00:29:00] 

Darin: See, you can do it. You can do it. Way to go. Mike, I'm interested in what you're saying.

You can do it. You can drink without slurping. Good job.