IDS #162 - Writers, Actors, Clowns, and Weathermen (w/ Patrick Cronin)

Mike and Darren discuss the actors strike on Talk Show 160

>> Patrick: We're not going to be political, so, I have to watch myself.

>> Darin: We decided that because there's no better way to turn off half your audience.

>> Mike: Plus, it just wouldn't work. I have the personality. I tend to be an. I tend to not agree with whoever it is.

>> Darin: I'm afraid.

>> Patrick: I still have to talk about this to mister degronvant, of course. But barring any unforeseen developments, gentlemen, I think we're sitting on a winner. Welcome to irritable dead syndrome business in the front, party in the back.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Patrick: Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hey, I'm Derek.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. This is episode 160. Whatever, 60 seconds. this is a special episode. Usually, Mike and I, we don't talk about, politics or controversial subjects. but today we're talking about an issue that's prominent in the news. You may have seen or heard something about the writers strike. You might have heard something about the actors strike. The actors have decided to join the writers on the picket line, and you may not know what in the hell they're doing it for. What's going on? is it about AI? Is it about residuals? There's a lot of things going on that.

>> Mike: How the hell am I going to get my shows?

>> Darin: Exactly. How's this going to affect me? What's. What's the bottom line? So we have, a guest joining us tonight. Our guest is, I know him. I've met him probably 20 some years ago. He's a professor at ETSU, where I went to college. And he is a famous actor.

>> Mike: He was on Remington Steel, for God's sake.

>> Patrick: Yes. I was awesome.

>> Darin: Spoons. He was on Sabrina, the teenage witch. He was on Alice. but people most famously know him for two episodes of a little show called Seinfeld. Okay? And we're going to talk about that.

Patrick Cronin joins us to talk about irritable dad syndrome

Anyway, our guest tonight is Patrick Cronin. And, Patrick, thank you for joining us here on irritable dad syndrome. How you doing?

>> Patrick: I'm good. I'm delighted to be with two other irritable dads. I'm 82, and I'm more irritable than both of you together.

>> Darin: Well, when I called you earlier to make sure that you were still on for the show tonight, that's exactly what I was thinking. I'm like, God, this guy. This guy's pain. Pissed.

>> Patrick: Well, you wanted to. You called because you want to make sure I was still alive.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Patrick: Yeah, we started with that. So that's a good place.

>> Mike: If you happen to die in the middle of this interview, we're going to continue. We need to get the full hour, so we're just going to keep you in.

>> Darin: We'll AI him for the rest.

>> Mike: In your most photogenic state that you can.

Patrick Stewart says he started performing when he was three

>> Darin: So, Patrick, tell me a little bit. How long have you been. How long have you been an actor? How long have you been in sag, the screen actors guild?

>> Patrick: Well, I actually started performing when I was three. my father was a drunk. I'm a drunk. So we'll talk about that a little later, maybe.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: But, anyway, my father taught me to sing five irish songs. it was one of the two or three things he did that was nothing brutally bad. so he taught me Danny boy, the rose of trolley boys from the county cork, etcetera. And then in my neighborhood in Philadelphia, there were churches and bars on every street corner. So he carried me into. I was under three. He carried me into this bar, ordered a shot in a beer. I can still see it was like, $0.45 for a corbee's and a draft. And then he got them and he said, all right, bye. Start singing. Oh, the pale moon was rising above there were eight men sitting at the bar, and they said, give that man a drink. Oh, he's too young. Give his old man a drink. So my father got five shots. Five years. And then he carried me to another place where I did the same thing. So I always wanted to get on Leno or one of those shows and say, how'd you get. You saw Richard Burton in Hamlet, didn't you? I said, yeah, I did, but I got into the business hustling drinks from my old friend. I always thought that was a much better idea. Anyway, I did a lot of that stuff as a kid. I was on the horn and hard at children's hour and all kinds of nonsense. Then I toured, hospitals during the korean war and sang for the vets, and then sort of got involved in theater in college and sort of fell in love. Well, actually, you like this story? I was 18, and a neighbor across the street was a stripper.

>> Darin: Hello.

>> Patrick: Well, back in.

>> Darin: I love it.

>> Mike: I already like this story.

>> Patrick: Yeah, it's a great story. Her name was Rose Larose. I mean, that was her stage name. I don't know what the hell her name.

>> Darin: She's still working down the street up here. Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: So she may be. She was pretty good age then. and I was 18. So she approached me about jazzing up her act by singing for her while she stripped. I thought that was a pretty classy idea.

>> Mike: that's what you want when you're watching a stripper is just some 18 year old kid standing over there singing.

>> Darin: This is before motley crue and girls, girls, girls. It was Patrick crooning and by wild irish rose. Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: Anyway, I'm on the side of the stage singing unchained melody in my little white dinner jacket.

>> Mike: You just ruined that song. That song's done. I'm done. I can't listen to it now.

>> Patrick: Anyway, we were making $250 a weekend. This is in 1959, when people were making $80 a week if they were lucky. So I did that for like six months. And then I thought, well, I don't think this is my career. Lenny Bruce started out.

>> Mike: Yeah. it is a very good beginning to a Martin Scorsese film, though you could already. I think so, yeah.

>> Patrick: Anyway, I got to college, fell in love with theater, graduated, went to grad school. Of course, I had a drinking problem. And by the way, to set that record straight, I will be 50 years sober on August 19. So I don't plan to die in your show.

>> Darin: Congratulations.

>> Mike: Congratulations.

>> Patrick: I'm going to make the 50 year mark. Anyway, I was drunk for 14 years, from 18 to 32. And, so it plagued me. I went to grad school and sort of drank my way out. Then got a theater gig in Memphis, Tennessee, at the front street theater. That was in 1965, for which I got my equity card. That was my second union. my first union was af of m American Federation of Musicians, which I joined in 1958, because I played bass and with bands and stuff.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Patrick: And then in 1968, I joined AFTRA, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. And then in 1970, I joined SAG. And I'm still a dues paying member of all three unions, so. Or two now. Cause SAG and after merged.

What is this strike about? Nobody likes to talk about money, but I do

But let's talk about, what is this strike about? Nobody likes to talk about money, but I do. I made $75,000 a year as an actor from 1970 to 2000. The first three years, I made $2,500 a year. in the eighties and nineties, I was making 150 to 200,000 a year.

>> Patrick: But when I looked back on my 30 year acting career, I averaged 75,000 a year, which means that 82, I collect 4000 a month in pensions and 2000 a month in Social Security. And I'm, set for life.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: I mean, unless things go to absolute well, I'm forgetting what audience we got. But in any event, the average actor in the seventies and eighties was making $2,500 a year and it stayed there for many years. Ten years.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Patrick: Now it's about 25,000 a year.

>> Patrick: Can you, can you imagine living in LA or New York on $25,000 a year?

>> Darin: Well, we live in, yeah, we live in Westchester, Ohio, and I can't imagine living on $25,000 here.

>> Patrick: Yeah, well, we talked about, I've trained several actors who work at the barter in, Abingdon, Virginia. One of the great jobs in America. Yeah, they make dollar 600 a week. That's huge money for that area. This, that means you're living on $30,000 a year. Does anybody wanna live on $30,000? Hell, I'm not living on that in pension land.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: I mean, so part of the strike is about the money has dried up. When I got to LA in 76, it was the beginning of the end of several things. It was the beginning of the end of the dominance of the star system in television and film. And also they created what was called top of the show. So m, when I did Alice, I got $2,500 for the week. That was top of the show. Ostensibly, if Frank Sinatra guest starred on Alice, he would get 2500. Well, that's B's, you know it and I know it. Yeah, he would get 2500 and two mercedes and a Lamborghini.

>> Darin: Now. And were the cars off the record or were they, was it, what?

>> Patrick: Off the record?

>> Darin: Like he would get the $2,500 and the cars, the, the mercedes, the cars.

>> Patrick: Are off the record.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: Off the record.

>> Darin: Gotcha.

>> Patrick: So I got 2500 and he got 2500. In case I got a lawyer to argue this.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: But he got these cars and stuff.

>> Darin: Okay. And, you know, and you got a Volkswagen bug. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: So that remained in place. So again, the business keeps changing. I did three years on soaps. I was on general hospital, I was on all my children. I was on, one of the NBC shows, the one that's still on.

>> Darin: Days of our lives.

>> Patrick: Days of our lives. I was on air for a year. Well, there used to be twelve soaps. They're all gone except those three. And bold and the beautiful.

>> Darin: Yeah.

For actors today, nobody makes residual money because streaming services don't pay

>> Patrick: So would you train an actor to do soap acting today? No. What for? There are, there are none. Would you train an actor to do commercials? No, not really. There are very few today. If you're doing television and film, as I was, the big play was if you got in a national show like Seinfeld, they ended in the nineties. Sort of friends. Big bang theory.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: I make 2000 a year on residuals from Seinfeld alone. So you can imagine what the regulars on Seinfeld were making.

>> Darin: Yeah. Let me, let me ask you something real quick. When you say residuals, is that money based like on the sell of the dvd?

>> Patrick: it's kept in, it's kept in record by Screen Actors Guild now sag AfTRA. So when they air a show, when they. And Seinfeld is hot because it's on several networks, it's streaming on, I believe, HBO or Netflix. Forget.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: But it's, it's getting top of the line exposure.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Patrick: And they account that. So, like, you work for, ah, you know, like those shows. That show Wild west and. And those shows. I'm on those two.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Patrick: All in the family and silver spoons.

>> Patrick: And for those, I get residuals that resemble $0.58. But for Seinfeld, Rocky five, Star Trek, home, improvement. I was a regular on home improvement. I did six of those. I usually get two or 3000 a year from both shows.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: And then I get another thousand or so from the other shows. And then if I get really lucky, and they really up something like, full house, I got a big boost when they re up that. All of that is gone. For actors today, nobody makes residual money anymore because the streaming services don't pay residual. So, for example, I trained an actor who did a starring role on a hit Netflix show last year, and she got $2,000 an episode. Okay, I was making that in 1976. Yeah, that doesn't sound residuals, no matter how much they show this series.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And they'll show up for infinity because it's a hit.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: She's going to make no more money out of it.

>> Darin: So the streaming services, do they. I know it's. And this is what friend Drescher keeps talking about. The. The streaming services base everything on subscriptions. And so it's like, if you sign up for Netflix, you sign up for it one time. So does any of that subscription money go to the hundreds of people who are on a Netflix original series or nothing?

>> Patrick: Well, again, as an 82 year old retiree, I voted for the strike. I'm, still a dues paying member.

>> Patrick: And 97% of the union membership voted to strike. I think what the general public doesn't understand, and they should, is that for every Tom Cruise, there's 10,000 patrons. So for every actor who's making $40 million a picture with points in the aftermath, there's the guy making 32,000 or 68,000 with two kids in private school or who's paying 6000 a month rent in New York or LA.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Patrick: I mean, it's not like I can live in Johnson City and work. That's not how this goes, right? I have to live in New York, Chicago or LA, or I can't work. I'm forced to live at a standard I can't afford. I'd love to move back to LA. For example, I sold my house for $675,000. I paid 280. when my wife was dying of lung cancer, my mortgage was 145. Five years later when she died, my mortgage was 395. Because I kept refinancing to pay for us.

>> Patrick: And then I bailed out. My house is now on the market. Perfectly nice house. Nowhere nice as the house I'm living in in Johnson city. It's now on the market for two and a half million dollars and they haven't done anything to it. Yeah, it's perfectly nice. Middle class house. My son, who is very successful as a book reader, James Patrick Cronin, he's read over 1200 books on audible and others. And he was okayed by the SAG AfTra credit union for a $1 million mortgage. He can't find a house in LA for a million dollars. there are none.

>> Mike: Right. Yeah.

Netflix is going to have to stop showing 42 polish crime series

>> Patrick: So we're talking about an industry that's both insane in terms of what it's paying people and insane of where you're required to live in order to make a living. Somewhere along the line, the big shots, the Jeff Bezos and those people have got to give up the $8,000 a day salary and make sure some of that money goes to the people who are putting the shows on, the writers and the actors.

>> Darin: How likely do you think that's going to be, that they do that?

>> Patrick: Oh, very. I've been in a half a dozen strikes and you don't always get what you want. But, they can't win this. But certainly not with a double barrel. The only people who have agreed to do a contract don't matter. The directors, because they're not going to work without actors and writers. So they just sort of toss them whatever they wanted. But, they're going to have to bring. They're going to have to compensate for the lack of residuals. They're going to have to pay better. Netflix is going to have to stop showing 42 polish crime series and use that money. You know, I love those shows, but if they got to cut back, then they're going to have to cut back on that.

>> Mike: Yeah, I don't know how they make those, because the crime shows, they, it's almost like the killer is carrying the camera with them at the time. And I'm like, how are you getting. What the hell? Yeah, you're in four k. And how is that happening?

>> Patrick: Well, there's, some of them are wonderful. There's a couple of norwegian shows I really love, but again, the bulk of the. My wife doesn't watch subtitles, so I watch those at four in the morning. Yeah, but, you know, if you're going to have shows like misses Maisel and, the other, you know, only murders in the building, you're going to have to pay those actors a decent wage. They're not doing that now. Well, something I lost 35. You have to earn $35,000 in work to get medical coverage. I wouldn't have covered for half, of my career.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: It used to be you only had to order make $500 to get covered.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And then it was 2500. By the time I left, it was 20,000. Well, now it's impossible. So not only are you not making a living, you're not making medical coverage.

>> Darin: Something I noticed on Netflix is a big, and, I don't know, a percentage, but a big chunk of the shows that they have are either reality television or, contests. like, is this cake? I mean, they've got a show where you people guess if it's cake or not. And do you know, again, they don't.

>> Patrick: Have to pay those people.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Patrick: No actor is arguing about getting them paid.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Patrick: I mean, reality television from the survivor on has always hurt real actors. one of the downsides of the unions right now, from my perspective, is sag afTra let influencers in, no matter what skilled. You know, it used to be. As an actor, you certainly had to have some training, whether it was summer stock or, you know, Judy and Mickey out of the boondocks. Yeah, singing Oklahoma. You had to have some training. And, you know, now it doesn't matter, you know, are you selling soap on Twitter? And how many millions of people are buying this soap? I mean, hello, I'm glad I'm dying. It is time to go, no question.

>> Darin: But, yeah, but I mean, you know, they're, they're putting so many shows out that have, that they put minimal, minimal, money into the production of.

>> Mike: I mean, those cakes are hard to,

>> Darin: Well, that, that is true. It is hard to tell which one of cake.

>> Patrick: Yeah, but a show like misses Maisel is extraordinarily expensive to do. That kind of fifties. I mean, that's a major. And the show they did before the Gilmore girls.

>> Patrick: I'm addicted to the two writers who do those shows.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: My daughter came home one time and I was crying at an episode of the Gilmore Girls, and she looked at me and she said, you're a 13 year old girl. What's wrong with that? I'm perfectly happy with that nomenclature. You are listening to irritable dead syndrome, the podcast that goes the extra mile for you, the public. For example, my mother, I was a regular on Alice. It was my first big break.

>> Patrick: And I used to call my mother in New Jersey and say, mom, I'm going to be on Alice next week. She was from Ireland. She said, oh, that's grand, boy, grand. I'll watch you on the tv. I said, thank you, mom. So next week, she'd call her. I called. I say, on the television show, you were very good. Long pause. Have you gotten a job yet?

>> Darin: That's hilarious.

>> Patrick: She didn't think I was getting any money.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: And you can't convince the average person that, I mean, again, I'm honest about what I made.

>> Patrick: From 1970 to 2000, my average earning was $75,000 a year.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: This isn't fantastic money. Yeah, yeah, it's good money, but it's not unbelievable.

>> Darin: Well, yeah, I mean, you see.

>> Mike: That in a lot of different professions like that. People like with actors, they are thinking of the Tom Cruises.

Darren Patrick has worked in television for 28 years

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Brad Pitt.

>> Darin: They think anybody who, is on television, it has, you know, just a mansion.

>> Mike: If someone tells someone that they're a writer, they're thinking Stephen King or King Koons or those guys. Everybody's always thinking of the, those sides.

>> Patrick: So.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, I mean, you know, in August, we'll make 30 years that I've worked in television. and 28 and a half years of it was local television. And now my job is with, Antana tv and rewind tv, making promos for classic television. So anytime we have friends over or we meet new people, they'll ask my wife, what do you do? And she says, I'm a nurse at children's hospital. And they said, oh, that sounds like, you know, it's very admirable work, and it must be tough being a nurse and this and that and, and what do you do, Darren? I said, well, I work at a tv station. And then they're really. And oh, my God.

>> Patrick: And do you know, was John Wayne Gay?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And that was the big one I got.

>> Darin: But it was. There's that. There's that whole thing that, you know, television is just glamorous and glitz and famous people and just everybody's just throwing money up in the air and watching it fall down, and that ain't the case. It's just not.

>> Patrick: The writers union is called the Writers Guild. The M director's union is called the director's guild. And screen actors was the Screen Actors Guild.

>> Patrick: And then AFTRA, which was formed in the 1930s or forties, was designed to take care of, like, clowns and weathermen and anchors.

>> Mike: I like that clowns and weathermen are put in the same.

>> Darin: Some people think they're the same thing.

>> Patrick: Well, most actors were in SAG felt that way. Matthew Modine runs a group that wants to throw all the anchors and weathermen and clowns out and only have real actors. You know, real acting.

>> Darin: Yeah, but my question is a lot of anchor.

>> Patrick: If you're an anchor in Atlanta, you're making 4 million a year.

>> Mike: Wait, did we just. Did it just hang up? Are you still there, Patrick? it just hung up.

>> Patrick: Hey, what happened? Please stand by. We're experiencing technical difficulties.

>> Darin: Thank you.

>> Patrick: 20 minutes later. okay. Well, we did. All right, guys.

>> Mike: Yeah. Well, that's all the time we have for you.

>> Patrick: Yes, thank you. God bless you and keep going to life everlasting.

>> Darin: Try the meal. Yeah.

Patrick Cronin: Unions have always made a difference in Hollywood

>> Mike: All right, we're back in. Okay.

>> Patrick: All right. We're back.

>> Mike: Yeah, we've no energy loss.

>> Darin: We had some technical difficulties, but we are back with Patrick Cronin. And, thank you again for being with us on irritable dad.

>> Patrick: Really a pleasure to talk about what I think, for the average person, may not mean a lot, but it will six months for now, if we're still on strike and you're watching your 10th rerun of Daunton Abbey, as good as they are.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: You know, rewatching stuff is going to get. You know, you're used to new shows, streaming.

>> Patrick: You know, and they're going to go away shortly.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And, the problem here is, in order to. For this strike to. To work the streaming services Amazon and Netflix and HBO, they're going to have to open their books if they're going to prove that they're not making the money we think they're making. The, last figures I saw that were trillions of dollars being made with actors and writers getting 2% of the income. If somebody is making $7,000 an hour, is attacking people who aren't making that a year. there's something imbalanced here about. I've known rich people who are very nice and poor people who are idiots. I'm not judging people by the salary.

>> Darin: They bring home, right?

>> Patrick: But on the other hand, in a strike like this, I mean, that's the thing. Unions have always made a difference. When SAG was created in 1930, FDR invited Eddie Kanner, who was the first president of SAG, to go to his estate in Georgia to honor this new union that, if you were a member of SAG in the thirties, you were banned from films. I mean, they had secret meetings in Robert Montgomery's house. I mean, it was deadly being in the union. I mean, just as it was for coal miners in West Virginia. We forget, unfortunately, we're determined to not remember our life. I mean, when I was growing up as a kid in Philadelphia, my mother was a cleaning lady, and we'd go to shops to get jobs and, there'd be big signs in the window, no mix need apply. And I said, I was six or seven years old, and I said, mom, what's a mic? And she said, oh, well, that's like the n word for irish people. We're mix. Oh. Because a lot of our names are like M. McDonough. Oh, I see.

>> Darin: I get it.

>> Patrick: But as a six year old, I thought, gee, I don't feel very good right now. That's our history. I'm not saying we should celebrate that on the 4 July, but I am celebrating saying we shouldn't be denying it.

>> Patrick: That's what's wrong when we try to deny what was there, when we've gotten better than that, I think.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm going off on a weird tangent.

>> Darin: No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay.

You were talking about AI. AI produces mediocrity, right

>> Patrick: So anyway, to get back to where we were, the writer strike, of course, has more significance for the viewer.

>> Patrick: You can fake it with actors, you can get bad actors and most people won't know the difference. Look at who's become stars. Let's not worry about the judgment quotient out there. But on the other hand, you can't fake that. You were talking about AI.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Patrick: Somebody posted today, and it's true. AI produces mediocrity. If what you want in your life is dead middle, you know, then you're going to get dead middle.

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, all, if you look at all the AI, a lot of the AI art. And I say this with one of our t shirts actually being AI art, but it, it looks like.

>> Darin: As a joke.

>> Mike: As a joke? Yeah, it looks like when you go to like the county fair, the airbrush t shirts with like the heart and like a fish or something.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: That's what it looks like. And it's like if you, if you created an art museum and had all the airbrushed art. I mean, it's kitschy and it's, it's interesting, but it's not actually art, right?

>> Patrick: Yeah. yes.

>> Mike: Yeah. At some point you're going to get sick of seeing that and you're in another, you know, a, I can really at this point, I mean, I'm sure in the future it's going to continue to get better and better, but right now it's, it's approximating, it's using everything that's come before and approximate things. It's not really creative.

>> Patrick: It is part of the tonight's discussion. My son, James Patrick Cronin has an alternate name which I don't think I'm going to share now. A lot of people know it, okay. But he has a nom de guerre, nom de plume for his erotic readings.

>> Mike: I had one of those, but it was removed.

>> Patrick: My son makes a lot of money as his alternate.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: He's got 3000 people on his Patreon page.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Patrick: $100 a month to listen to him talk.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: As this other guy, we have 13. I've got twelve on one site. My son has just tired because they're stealing his other guy to make books with his voice sounding like his other guy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And he's got a high. He's paying a guy a lot of money in LA to take these people to the cleaners.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: And he's going to win because you can't steal somebody's identity without paying.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Patrick: Well, just can't.

>> Darin: One of the things that Fran Drescher had mentioned is that they want actors now to come in for a day and are they seriously asking to scan you and then to use your likeness from till the end of time?

>> Patrick: Yes. And that's not going to happen. I did a series of commercials for, ace hardware.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Patrick: I was the ace hardware guy one year and there were big six foot statues of me outside Ace hardware store.

>> Patrick: So, I was paid a sum for that. I forget. $10,000, I think. But that was for the use within two and a half years. Well, after that I found it still outside stores and I complained to the union. And they, and I got another ten grand. There's a deal you have, you know, you can use my likeness for x number of units, and then you can't. I had throat cancer in 2001. I was very well treated at the Johnson City Medical center. I'm 21 years cancer free. So they asked me to do a commercial.

>> Darin: That, that's fantastic, by the way. Yeah, that's fantastic.

>> Patrick: I'm glad to be here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And so, yeah, Kyle Kov was my radiologist. Brilliant. And I said that on Facebook and was praising the service I got. So they came to me from, well, wasn't ballad then fountain health or mountain? I don't know what the hell they were. Anyway, they came to me and they said, we'd like you to do a commercial. I said, I'd be charmed. I'd be honored to do that. They said, how much? I said, $10,000. Never heard from them again. Well, what they don't understand is that I was glad to do it, but that's a career in it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: What people who aren't actors don't understand, there's nothing worse than being recognized. For example, the last big job I lost was as a, spokesman for staples. So it was down to me and another guy, and we were going in and out, in and out. They were trying to make up their mind. And the last time I went in to read, one of the producers said, oh my God, you're the bra creator on Seinfeld. I was done.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: That ended my chance at that big, big paying job.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: You don't want people to know what you're doing.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: I tell the students I've trained, they have no right to know things about you, not even your age.

So when they ask you, what have you been doing, make up stuff

>> Patrick: So when they ask you, what have you been doing? Make up stuff, they have no right to know. So when I audition for movies, they'll say, so what have you been doing? Pat baby?

>> Darin: They call you Pat baby. Okay.

>> Patrick: Oh God, yes. If you're lovable. So, we used to have a saying in LA. My agent called this morning. Hello. She lied. No truth there at all. So you effectively, for a film, I say, I'm doing an off Broadway show about Shakespeare meets Marlowe, and you can see them glass over.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Patrick: Because they don't care about theater at all. If I'm auditioning for a play in New York, they say, what have you been doing? I'm up for this series in LA. And you can see them go, oh God, I hope he doesn't talk long. Just tell them you're doing something on another coast.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: And they don't, you know, because you can say, like, for example, I didn't want to do married with children. I found the show disgraceful for a guy who did save by the bell for me to have standards, but I had my own standard.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: I didn't want to do married with children.

>> Mike: Everybody's got a line somewhere.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: that was my line.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: So I go in and I audition, and I was really good. I thought, oh, you're gonna hire me? So then they said, so what have you been doing? So I said, well, I just did my second episode of Seinfeld. I'm a regular on home improvement as Sparky Henderson. So I've done six of those. Lost the job. No way. They were using. First of all, if I had told Tim Allen that I had done two Seinfeld's, I wouldn't have worked on that show. Huh?

>> Darin: You'd think. You'd think that they would know that. I mean, they don't have to look.

>> Patrick: Into stuff and you don't have to say, yeah, it's. It's. Jerry and Tim were very competitive on Seinfeld. They were supposed to do ten episodes with me cheating with what's her name's wife. It's in the scene where we do the bro or the man's ear, and at the end he says something about, I'm really glad you're seeing what's his name's wife dating her. And they were going to do a ten episode link, but she wanted more money, and they said no. So I got screwed out of ten episodes.

>> Darin: Who's the wife that you're talking about?

>> Patrick: she was married to, George's father to, Jerry.

>> Darin: Oh, Estelle. Harris.

>> Patrick: Estelle.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: Yeah, yeah. We were going to have ten episodes of dating and being in love and all that, and she wanted more money, and they said no.

>> Darin: So they were going to have George's mom have an affair with me. Okay.

>> Patrick: Yes.

>> Darin: I never.

>> Mike: That's awesome.

Bob Schneider says he was one of the nicest people on set

>> Patrick: This portion of our show is brought to you by blockbuster video. One of the reasons I worked a lot is I was one of the nicest people on the set you could ever meet. And I told my students that Willie Lohman is right. He just wasn't any good at it. You got to be nice. People have to like you. Yeah, he's right. You have to be well liked. That's the reason I did six home improvement. I knew a dozen actors who was. Who were better than I was, but they didn't work much because they were a pain in the ass. Does anybody like being around a pain in the ass? No. No.

>> Mike: Well, I mean, I'm with this guy.

>> Patrick: Well, you know, what am I? Who knows? And there is love, isn't there?

>> Darin: yeah, there is.

>> Patrick: Isn't that the final analysis?

>> Darin: Absolutely.

>> Patrick: The trick on this, I was on the new heart show, and this actor was trying to make a friend with Bob. And finally Bob turned to him and said, I don't want to talk to you. I don't even see my wife. This is my fifth series. I don't have time for new friends.

>> Darin: Like, something I would say new heart.

>> Patrick: Said, you know, and, you know, I mean, I was very timid. Alan and I got along pretty well. We were both blue collar guys for Detroit, me from Philly.

>> Patrick: But when you're making millions of dollars and you're talking to somebody who's making thousands. I had a woman, I coached baseball for ten years in LA. My team was Josh grobanization, Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, and my two sons, and Brendan Ryan, who played for the Seattle Mariners. And that was my team.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Patrick: And so, anyway, great fun. So, there was a woman whose kid was kind of awkward and big, and I used to pick him every year to play for us because he was sweet and I'd stick him in right field, you know, where he didn't get hurt or m hurt anybody else. And, she always gave me nice presents, which I was bonpland pens and all that. And at one point she said to me, she was very rich. And, she said, you know, I'd really love to be friends with you and your wife, but you don't have any money.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Patrick: And I go to three. I go to $3,000 a plate chicken dinners every week. And that's where I have my. Where I meet my friends. And I'm not going to pay for you, and you can't afford it.

>> Mike: Jeez.

>> Patrick: Wow. Well, isn't that fair, though?

>> Mike: Yeah. Ah, it's honest, I guess.

>> Patrick: Yeah.

>> Darin: Well, I loved it.

>> Patrick: What you going to do? Pretend to be my friend and then never call me? I mean. I mean, I had a lot of rich friends who I never called or never called. I mean, what do you do with. Like, there was an agent who had his kids at my son's school. He had Monet's and Monet's and Lichtenstein's on his. He had $40 million on one wall.

>> Darin: Oh my God.

>> Patrick: I mean, m, what was I going to do with him or he with me?

>> Darin: Yeah. Ah, you want to go bowling?

>> Patrick: Money does separate you out, alas.

>> Mike: Ah, yeah, I guess that's true.

>> Patrick: Really does. But in any event, the AI thing I think is going to die in the water right now because once the strike is over, the, the lawyers are going to come after those people. I think the strike will end. It'll take a while because the writers are wanting more in residuals than the actors.

>> Patrick: And so I think they're going to be focused on settling with the writers and not worry too much about the actors. But the writers and the actors are now joined together. That's the thing that people don't understand. If you're an actor, you're a blue collar union guy. You're trying to make a buck.

Peter Cushing was digitally recreated with his family's permission

>> Mike: It is interesting getting your perspective on this because, I mean, I'm learning a lot more about the perspective of someone in the business versus what we see. But, I pulled up a picture of, Peter Cushing, which, was the first time that I felt uneasy with seeing an actor portrayed as CGI because Peter Cushy went with, Star wars rogue one.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: He's in a scene for two or three minutes and you see the back of his head and I'm like, oh, that's grand. Moff Tarkin. They've got somebody with it, turns around and I was like, oh, wow, they've recreated him.

>> Darin: Yeah. I mean, and now with his family's permission.

>> Patrick: Yes. Money for that.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Patrick: What's his name and, and what's his. Scorsese. He did it too in his last picture, Irishman.

>> Darin: The Irishman.

>> Patrick: Yeah, Irishman.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: Those men allowed themselves to be euthan.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Patrick: And, and that was also done with permission and with payment and what's his name, raiders of the lost ark guy allowed himself to be euthan.

>> Darin: Yeah. Harry.

>> Patrick: And also with payment and.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: But at what point does the fine print enter into the contract that says we have your likeness and we in.

>> Patrick: This and the contract is already in place. I was saying about my wife, Lord Restor, she was a regular on happy days and on Wonder Woman. I've got a great story about that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: she called the show Wonder Tit, which closed her job, but that's another story. Well, it was wonder tit, really. Linda was not a nice person.

>> Darin: Oh, really?

>> Patrick: Okay, well, you know.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: Again. Yeah. Instant stardom, sort of. Anyway, my wife was on happy day. She was Marsha the car hop of roller skates. She did, I think, 60 episodes and actually made the mistake of quitting the show to do Wonder Woman, which only lasted a year for her.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: Where she could have on happy days for 14 years and we could have had a bigger home. But in any event, she got residuals for only half those episodes. Because in 1976, Screen Actors Guild negotiated a contract that said that all shows done from this day on will be in perpetuity.

So Rocky five, I have two lines in Rocky five. I'm, um, right in the beginning

So Rocky five, I have two lines in Rocky five. I'm, right in the beginning.

>> Patrick: And Stallone is standing there and says, I want to fight again in Vegas. I said, mister Stallone, you have cavum septum pelicidum. You will not be fighting in Vegas or anywhere else. I have made over $25,000.

>> Darin: Nice.

>> Patrick: Because every time they redo a new rocky or they regroup and sell it as a package.

>> Patrick: I get a big fat residual check.

>> Mike: Well, I will say I'm a huge, I'm a huge rocky fan. I've only seen Rocky five once.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I mean, my jam is all the rest of them, but I do. When you, as soon as you said the line, I remember the scene.

>> Patrick: Yeah. I thought to myself, why did they cast me? I'm the only actor in Hollywood.

>> Mike: My thought was, there's no way Rocky knows what the hell you're talking about. That was my first kid.

>> Patrick: No, in fact, off the camera. M he turned to me or somebody and said, what does that mean? Your next blow to your head is going to knock your marbles out.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Patrick: But again, so much of it was fun. Oh, there was a story there, there was a beautiful girl on that set was an extra or atmosphere, whatever they call themselves. She was gorgeous. And to note that somebody is very beautiful in Hollywood is Silly, because everybody's beautiful except the three of us. But, anyway, there was this girl on the set and eating, the gay guy was playing with said, cuss, she's gorgeous. I said, yeah, isn't she? Anyway, stallone enters about 2 hours late. And who cares? It's his movie. I don't care how late he is. Yeah, and he was nice. He came in with his entourage of 42 guys, knuckles dragging him. And so anyway, he goes past this really gorgeous girl. I think he just said hello or something. He wasn't there long enough to say anything terrible. So he walked, back with his group, and she stood up and said, mister stallone. I thought, oh God, we're going to sit through 2 hours of a sexual harassment speech. Oh, no, I have dinner tonight. Anyway, she said, and we're all looking now, all 200 of us, and she says, mister Stallone, there's nothing I wouldn't do for my SaG card. Hello?

>> Darin: Oh, okay.

>> Patrick: M okay. M. now, I wouldn't be able to tell that story at school anymore. I used to tell it, because when you enter this business, that's the kind of stuff that goes on.

>> Darin: That's what took down Harvey Weinstein.

>> Patrick: Yes, exactly. Yeah, you know, but I turned to the guy I was with and said, actually, she's making a mistake. Stallone can't get her a Sag card. But the first day d could, huh? All he has to do is give her a line. She's got a SaG card.

>> Darin: Yeah, I remember.

>> Patrick: But, I mean, the business is rough. You have thousands of actors trying. I used to audition, there'd be 300 people up for one part, you know, and, I scored over 200 of them. If you hit one out of ten, you could make a living.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: Not so much now, though.

>> Darin: I remember Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks was talking about his kids, and they asked how he got.

>> Patrick: Oh, he was wonderful. I was in splash with him.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Oh, wow.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: Okay, I have a funny story. Quick. I'm on Melrose Boulevard, and, my two sons are with me. They're like eight and nine. And there's, in front of us is Tom Hanks and his wife, Rita. And my son said, wager loudly, oh, look, dad, there's your friend Tom Hanks. I'm going to be arrested. So Tom came over to us. I thought, oh, this could go very badly. I'm sorry. You were wonderful in splash. I don't remember your name. I thought, he's not going to arrest me. I said, pat crone. And I was the guy who caught the mural. Oh, yes, you were wonderful. And, and he went away and went off to a restaurant.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: My son said, see, daddy's your friend. That's awesome. Thank you, son.

>> Darin: but, yeah, Tom Hanks said that, you know, the way he helped his kids was he gave them all one part. And he gave, he says, I gave them their first part, and as soon as you get a part with a reading line, then you get your card. And then he says, after that, it was entirely up to them.

>> Patrick: I did the same with James.

My sons did over $200,000 worth of commercial work

My sons were actually, they did over $200,000 worth of commercial work. my son James did one for Nestle's chocolate chips. That's on YouTube. All my stuff's on YouTube by the way.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Patrick: I was a commercial king in the seventies and eighties. And so was. And my other son was in Jerry Maguire. Oh, wow. He goes in to read and he goes with my wife because you can't kid can't go alone, obviously. So he's there. He's ten or eleven. And so they hide those scripts, you know, because people steal them. So they come out with a side, sometimes even a fake side. and so this was for the opening scene in Jerry Maguire. Remember that? You gotta get my dad to stop playing football.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: He's got twelve contracts with Nike. You, Jerry F. You. So that was the scene.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: So that my son, they were going to do it with the younger kidde, and my son was up for that. So they give him the script and he looks at it and he goes, hey, mom, look at this. She looks down. Oh, well, you'll have to say it, Charlie. It's in the script. Okay. So he went in with the casting director and he was in for about 20 minutes. That's a long time. And he came out and he's beaming. And we always had a rule, don't say anything in the building. you don't know who's around. So they got outside onto the street, and so my wife turned and said, so, charlie, how did it go? He said, it was great. She said, I was the best you of the day.

>> Mike: That's awesome.

>> Patrick: He didn't get that part. They decided to go older. But he's in the movie.

>> Darin: But that's a win.

>> Patrick: He's in the airport, he comes up to Cuba gooding, and he says, hey, are you hootie? And the guy says, no, I'm not hooty. And Charlie goes and walks away. Two huge laughs. I was there the first night they showed it at the director's guild. I'm sitting at my finger, it's my kid. That's my kid.

>> Darin: That's awesome. That's really cool.

>> Patrick: Yeah, it was cool. He did a series with Don Rickles and,

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Patrick: Yeah. Called Daddy Dearest. He did eight episodes. I don't know. They both had. The deal was if they auditioned, they had to do it. But the day they said, I don't want to do it, it was done. And then he started playing sports. And so that was the end of it. This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Kenner Toys. They made the Star wars figures. Now back to the show.

Patrick Schaffer: I drove Larry David to his audition for Seinfeld

>> Darin: Well, Patrick, we're almost out of time, but I wanted to ask you one thing. Before we go, yeah. And you probably don't remember this, but, it was because it was over 20 years ago when we actually met. And I've told the story on the podcast before, but I was back at EtsU, for the ASI picnic. Asi is Alpha Sigma iota. That's the, broadcasting fraternity. So I was there at the picnic, and that's the first time that I met you. And I met you that day. And then there was a party later on that evening, and I was walking back to my car, and it was at night on Etsu campus, and I passed you up and I said, I said, hey, patrick, I don't know if you remember me, but I saw you earlier at the, at the party. I'm Darren. And he said, hi. Do you have a car?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Can you drive me over by the tennis court?

>> Mike: Of course.

>> Darin: Sure. So I'm 82. I could have been a serial killer. You could have been a serial killer. But regardless, I drove you to your.

>> Patrick: Car because I thumbed in LA all the time.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And because I've never driven a car. I've never driven a car. And so I was thumbing here in Johnson City and the cops came by and said, you can't do that, boy. Why not? I can't drive. Get a cab. I gave it up.

>> Darin: Every time your episode of Seinfeld comes on, I tell people I drove him. He was in my car.

>> Patrick: I do have to tell you, my audition for Seinfeld was extraordinary.

>> Darin: Oh, I can't wait.

>> Patrick: In the 30 years I was in LA, 25 years I was in LA, I met two geniuses. Larry David. Ah, Burroughs. James Burroughs.

>> Darin: Those were geniuses from cheers.

>> Patrick: James directed me on Cheers. I knew his dad, Abe directed a lot of Broadway shows, but James was a master of the sitcom. Master of it.

>> Patrick: Larry was just a producing genius.

>> Patrick: So. And he's that mean, he's curb your. He's the guy on Kobe. He really is that guy. He'd make you guys look nice. So I go in to read, I've got my script, and I always treated these shows with great respect, you know, and especially a show like Seinfeld, I really admired. It was late in the run. They had about ten guys before me who all had specials on Comedy Central. I mean, these were major comedy stars and they're going in to read. And of course, these are paper walls in a building which is crowded with too many people and they're tearing the place apart, screaming with laughter. And I'm looking at the script going, this guy wants to make men's brassieres. what the hell's funny about that? I guess I'll find out.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: So I walk in and they introduce you, you know, and Jerry Seinfeld is there, Larry David, the writers, and you're reading with a casting director who isn't particularly good. She's nice, but you're not a good actor. So you're, so we start the scene. So what do you see in the back? Hooks? Velcro. You know, doing the scene. And the room is dead silent. I didn't get one laugh in the entire audition. Where the other ten actors had been there were tearing the place up. So I thought, I'm going to have to burn my SaG card up in west laden is nonsense. So in the silence that went on, Larry David said, that's very funny.

>> Mike: I can see it. I can see him say that.

>> Patrick: And two minutes or 2 seconds later, Jerry Seinfeld said, yes, larry, very funny. And what they've been laughing at were the actors doing comedy bits.

>> Patrick: I played Sid Farkas.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Patrick: Sid was real to me. His needs were real to me. His desire to sell brassieres was real to me. And it was based on, Larry David sold brassieres one summer in a place in Sachs or one of those places.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: And so it was rooted in reality. And I made Sid as real as I could make.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: and that's why I got the part. I was fun, I was funny in the material. That's not outside of.

>> Darin: Well.

You're in one of the most memorable episodes of Seinfeld

And you know, if you know when you ask people what their favorite episodes or not, not so much their favorite episodes of Seinfeld, but the ones that they remember, it's like there's the, the dentist and then the, the soup Nazi and the bro or the man bra. It's one of those, that episodes that it just comes up. So you're in one of the most memorable episodes of Seinfeld at I am really thrilled.

>> Patrick: I also did a very memorable Star Trek Tng. And that was a great fun too. I was on the last season of that and they were going insane. They couldn't wait for this to be over. And so in between shots, Jonathan Franes was playing Juliet and Patrick Stewart was playing Romeo. They kept doing the entire play between scenes all over the set. And at one point, Patrick jumped off the platform into Franes arms and kissed him. And they looked around at everybody and said, it's all right. I'm just in touch with my feminine side.

>> Darin: That's funny.

>> Patrick: It was fun working. I loved Hollywood. I really did. I was on, you know, with Red Fox, whom I adored. God, I loved red Fox. I could have been Bob Hope.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Patrick: I'd been black. I'd have been Bob Hope. Well, yeah, but we liked you, Fred. You were funny. I bought your albums under the counter when I was eight. See, if I could have been Bob.

>> Darin: Hope, if I had met Red Fox, I would have been one of those guys that just begged him, would you please call me a big dummy?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: He was wonderful. I did do a lot of cocaine, though. So we do, we did our show, we'd start rehearsal at ten and we didn't break for lunch until two. When he came back, he was blitzed. There was no, nothing was going on of any notes. So he, was fun to work with.

>> Darin: I got to meet, one time I met Gordon jump from Debbie KrP in Cincinnati. I don't know if you ever got to work with him.

>> Patrick: I didn't work with him, but I'd see him at auditions.

>> Darin: But I was, he came by the tv station for an interview. He was the maytag repairman. Yeah, he did those commercials and he was in town for an opening of a, some appliance store. I came, hh Gregor, some appliance store. And I walk into our studio and there's Gordon jump, art, you know, Arthur Carlson, just sitting right there. No handlers, nothing. And I approached him and I was, I was nervous. I was really nervous because it's like, I didn't know. It's like you don't want to meet your heroes. He may be an, you don't know. And he was so nice. And I said, and, I didn't want to ask him to say the line because I figured he's probably tired of hearing people ask him to say the line. But I said, you know, the episode of TV Guide recently came out where they picked turkeys away as one of the greatest, episodes of all time. And he says, can you believe it? That a line like that, an episode like that, that wasn't intended to be that funny. But, you know, as God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly. And I'm like, he said the line, I was so excited, but gave me an autograph and was just as nice a person as I could hope to have.

>> Patrick: I would say 95% of the people I met and worked with, including Jerry Seinfeld and Tim Allen, were delightful. Yeah, Tom, Hanks was even better than that. He just a generous kind, you know, there were certain things you couldn't do intruding in their lives. Was one of them, right?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: but if you were nice to them and you want to, like, I have several signed copies of Tim's book and Jerry's book. You know, they didn't mind doing that kind of stuff. it was nice. I miss it a lot. But I had a great run and I, you know, you know, silvers, I mean, we could talk about these shows. It's weird. Some of them.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Patrick: That are still out there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: The working actor, you know, is making 50,000. You know, he needs to make 75.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: Or 100 to survive today. I mean, if you're on Broadway, you get 2000 a week as a minimum wage to be in a Broadway show. And you can't get an apartment in New York for under 4000 a month. And that's a studio. So how far does 8000 a month go? When your agent takes 10%? You might have a manager. You know, you're not taking home very much.

The reason why this strike is important is because television and films entertain us

>> Darin: I mean, you're probably in your thirties and forties and still have a roommate, so you can afford.

>> Patrick: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Those are the people for whom the strike is for.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Patrick: It's not for Tom Hanks or Tom Cruise or any of the lucky toms in the world. Well, and, I, I hope for their sake, we get what we deserve.

>> Darin: And I hope, I hope you agree with me when I say this. The reason why this strike is important is because, you know, television and films, not only does it entertain us, but in, a sense, and for many, many years, it's brought people together. Families.

>> Patrick: Exactly.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Families sit together and watch. Everybody lives, Raymond. And they, you know, they enjoy. It's just, it's just a way of people, coming together.

>> Patrick: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it's very. It's. I think so.

>> Patrick: It matters.

>> Darin: It matters.

>> Patrick: It just matters.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Patrick: Yeah. And you guys matter because you're carrying the torch too.

>> Darin: Well, we're trying.

>> Patrick: Yeah. Nothing wrong with that.

>> Darin: We definitely are trying. Mike and I started this podcast in September. Will be three, years. Yeah. We do it because we love doing it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We enjoy hanging around with each other. And we enjoy, we just enjoyed, enjoy it. So, and if, if there's you guys tonight.

>> Patrick: So thank you.

>> Darin: Very happy that you're here. Thank you so much.

We're experiencing technical difficulties with irritable dadsyndrum

So, so, everybody out there listening, this has been a fantastic hour, and a half with Patrick Cronin or however, I can't remember how long we've talked. We had technical, whatever it is. Yeah, it's been a fun time and we want you to know that if you go to irritable dadsyndrum.com, you can listen and download every single episode. We had somebody last week download like 90 episodes.

>> Mike: Yeah, somebody had a stroke or something. They just passed out on the download key and hit them all.

>> Darin: Just kept hitting enter. So. Yeah. but anyway, we thank you for listening and we hope to see you again on irritable dancing.

>> Patrick: Before we go, can someone give me a ride home? I'll be waiting downstairs. Thank you. You'll edit some of this nonsense out?

>> Mike: I mean, I would say my worst fear is that he thinks we just hung up on him.

>> Patrick: Right?

>> Mike: Second worst is that he's still talking. He's just gonna keep going. These guys are boring as hell.

>> Patrick: They're not responding to anything.

>> Mike: I'm just gonna keep going.

>> Patrick: Please stand by. We're experiencing technical difficulties. Why can I not say technical? Simply stated, mister Balboa, it means that you've suffered some damage to the brain.

>> Darin: I knew it was gonna be good. I didn't realize it was gonna be this good. This is really, really entertaining.

>> Patrick: Well, you got that burlesque girl story if nothing else. I don't usually tell that one you.

>> Darin: came out the gate swinging with. Yeah, I could just see a little white suit. That's hysterical.

>> Patrick: It was. An unchained melody has been ruined for you.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah, it's gone. Done.

>> Patrick: I took a good song away from.

>> Mike: You.

>> Patrick: My love, my darling. Cut that out. But.