Transcript
WEBVTT
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Do?
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Pound.
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Pound.
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Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
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Ding, ding, ding, pound.
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Should we just start the d*** thing?
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Because we're on our we're ready to go.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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All right.
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You're a nerd.
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I know you are, but what am I?
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You're an idiot.
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I know you are.
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What am I?
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I know you are, but what am I?
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Know you are, but what am I?
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But what am I?
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I know you are, but what am I?
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Infinity.
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Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome.
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Download ten episodes.
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Get the 11th episode free.
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Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.
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Hey, I'm Darren.
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I'm Mike.
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Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome.
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On this episode, Mike and I are going to catch up a little bit.
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Yeah.
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We haven't seen each other in, like, a month.
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Well, it feels like that.
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We went like they have no, not November.
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We had no podcast.
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July.
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Okay.
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And it felt just the same.
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Yeah, just the same.
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No, see, we really haven't.
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We recorded a bunch of episodes in advance.
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Today is August.
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Eigth.
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We recorded the week before July 4.
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We literally did not see each other.
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In a professional sense right.
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Through July.
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Well, no, today is August eigth, the day that we're recording this.
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Yeah.
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And the episode that dropped today was our July 4 holiday.
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That's right.
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Florida.
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We did see each other.
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We're, like, a month behind.
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And I keep joking about whenever we record stuff in advance, like someone's going to die.
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And then we'll talk about it a month later.
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We're going to talk about Peewee Herman and Sinead O'Connor.
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And sinead O'Connor.
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Yeah, exactly.
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But tonight, my wife had to have back surgery.
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We're going to talk about that.
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My son Jacob, he didn't have to, but he had college orientation and ostegod.
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My wife did the funniest thing she's ever done in the 23 years that I've known her, and I've never laughed so hard in my life.
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She had back surgery.
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That was the funny part.
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No, it wasn't funny part.
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And then Mike's going to b**** about all kinds of Nicole Kidman, so welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome.
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Yeah.
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How you doing?
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I'm okay.
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I'm exhausted.
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Yeah.
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We've talked for a couple of years now about doing an alternate, because we we if you're a new listener, your old buddy Mike and Darren, we don't do any don't.
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We talk about some serious things periodically, but for the most part, we keep it light.
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The closest we came to a serious episode was when we had Patrick Cronin on, talking about the Screen Actors Guild.
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And the writer, he was still one of the more hilarious guests.
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He was great.
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But 82 years old.
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Yeah.
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And just fantastic.
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Yeah.
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Great guest.
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But we generally try to keep things relatively light.
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Yes.
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I don't know where I was going.
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I have no idea what you're talking about.
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Hey, what happened?
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Welcome, dear.
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Well, welcome to the show.
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My wife, God love her, she had to have back surgery.
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Okay.
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We went to college, orientation.
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My son Jacob is going to the University of Cincinnati.
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He's going to the Blue Ash campus.
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He had orientation?
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Yeah, we went to orientation.
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Now, Libby's back was sore.
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Okay.
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It hurt, but she could still walk, she could still move, she could sit down, stand up.
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She was in great spirits.
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She had, like, a headache, and every now and then her back would hurt and she would feel kind of nauseous.
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Okay.
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Okay.
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But outside of that, she was still functionable.
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So we get home, she was still.
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A useful member of yeah, absolutely.
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Yeah, yeah.
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We get home from orientation, and she's getting ready to go and get in the shower, and I am doing something podcast related when I hear Jacob scream at the top of his lungs, dad, get in here.
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Holy crap.
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As she was getting ready to get in the shower, something popped.
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I don't know, popped or blew or what.
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She had the worst pain she has ever had in her life, and the pain radiated all the way down her leg.
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She could not feel her right foot.
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She couldn't feel her fingers.
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And she was just mike, she was screaming, she was crying.
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She couldn't walk.
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She couldn't get up or get down.
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She couldn't sit.
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She couldn't lay in a certain position without the pain being just unbearable.
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Can I interrupt you for a moment?
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Yeah.
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I stubbed my toe a couple times.
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Her pain was almost as bad.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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Holy I know.
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Almost as bad as the pain was for you.
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Okay?
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Yeah.
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I took Libby to the emergency room.
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Okay.
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And this was when they gave her what I like to call a John Belushi amount of drugs.
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They gave her a her first thing.
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They gave her was some ibuprofen.
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Then they gave her a lidocaine patch on the back.
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They gave her Robaxin, which is a muscle relaxer.
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Then they gave her Prednisone, which is a steroid, reduces inflammation.
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Then they shot her in the arm with some morphine.
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Okay.
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And then they gave her a couple of other things that I cannot remember.
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None of it was even close to touching the pain.
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Nothing.
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They gave her an X ray, which they found nothing.
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And then they did a C scan, which they found nothing.
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And this was Thursday night.
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00 A.m..
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Now, on Wednesday, her back was getting really sore, and she's like, I'm going to have to call a doctor and see about this.
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So we had a Friday appointment scheduled with one of her Orthopedic doctors.
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We already had an appointment.
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We're like, okay, great.
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We'll go Friday.
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The pain is unbearable, Mike.
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Unbearable.
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She can't walk, she can't sit, she can't stand.
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And nothing that they gave her at the emergency room was touching the pain.
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If she were a would, if she.
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Were a horse, they would have taken her behind the barn and put her down.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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All you farmers out there, we go.
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And the doctor looks and she says, I suspect you've probably got a pinched nerve or herniated disc.
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And she says, I'm going to schedule you for an MRI, and you'll probably get it sometime early next week.
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And I looked at her, I said, early next week?
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Yeah.
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Really?
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We can stop the bleeding in a couple of hours.
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Yeah.
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And we were very nice.
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I was very patient because my wife works in the medical profession.
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I don't b**** at doctors.
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They know more about this than I do, and they could tell and they could just tell how much pain she was in.
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They even gave her a shot in the back, not in the spine, not like an epidural, but in the back.
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And it did nothing for the pain.
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Anyway, we got scheduled for an MRI and we went and that's when we saw that she, in fact had a hernia disc.
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That was ginormous.
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It was just straight into her spine.
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The nerve?
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Yeah.
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My God.
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You looked at you go, D***.
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Yeah.
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Okay, so we got that appointment and the doctor prescribed a new back.
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Exactly.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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We had the medicine that the doctor at the emergency room prescribed.
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Okay.
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But again, none of that was touching it.
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So Friday night, miserable all day Saturday, miserable all day Sunday, miserable Monday.
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We get in back to see the surgeon, okay.
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And the surgeon looks at it and gives her some oxycodone.
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Which oxycodone is your friend.
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Yeah.
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Gives her some of that.
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And they look and figure out that they said, we can squeeze you in surgery for Friday.
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So we're like, oh, my God.
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So what does surgery entail with this situation?
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They go in there and pop that thing.
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They're going to pull it out.
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He says, It's a miter incision, takes about 20 minutes.
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And what we're going to do is we're going to basically shave off the little piece of the disc that's pressing into the spine, into the nerve.
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That sounds like something that I would come up with.
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Okay.
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Seems like it should be more complex than that.
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It was a very long week.
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Very pressing in.
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Okay, now I'm intrigued.
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It's pressing in on the inside of the spine, right?
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On the inside of the spinal column onto the it's pressing on the it's outside cord.
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Outside pressing in.
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So they're going to go in and just take a little off the top.
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Yeah.
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I'll show you a picture of the MRI.
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Okay.
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You'll go, D***.
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How do they get in there?
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Well, with the scalpel, they make an incision.
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Yeah.
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And they did laparoscopic surgery.
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Laparoscopic is when they go in through the belly button and no, I don't know.
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Like a robot goes in there, kind of.
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Sort of.
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Yeah, but how does it get in there?
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It's got to go in there.
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Yeah, that's what she said.
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They make an incision in the back.
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In the lower back, but they got to get into the spinal column, you know what I'm saying?
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Okay.
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It's like a toilet paper roll.
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They didn't go into the nerve.
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The disc was pressing the nerve.
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Yeah, I guess they didn't go into.
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The nerve, but they had to cut on the interior of the toilet paper roll, which is her spine.
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This is highly technical discussion.
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Yes, Mike.
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They cut her toilet paper roll.
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Okay.
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Yeah.
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I don't understand these.
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Well, I don't either.
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All I know is they did the surgery.
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I do like the fact that the doctor said it's no big deal.
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I'll do it in 20 minutes.
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Because every time I've had a consultation, when I had my surgery consultation, the guy's like, Hi, I'll be in and out of there in ten minutes.
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I asked the doctor, which you know me, I always ask the best questions.
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Yeah.
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I said, how many of these have you done?
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And he pauses for a second, and this is where if I was a doctor, I'd say, this is my fourth.
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But, man, those first three went great.
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He says thousands.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like, okay.
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I think they all you've done, these thousands.
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My medical knowledge goes up to about you remember the old SNL skit with Steve Martin where they're diagnosing people, and he's like, you've got an imbalance of bodily humors, probably caused by a dwarf or a small toad living in your stomach.
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Yeah.
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We're going to bleed you.
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They were bleeding everybody.
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Yes.
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I can't remember the character's name, but yeah.
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Anyway, they did the surgery, and the great thing was, despite all of this, and I've said this many, many times.
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She managed to mow the lawn.
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That's great.
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My wife is, honest to God, one of the funniest people I've ever known.
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And so it's like, we had to go to the doctor before you have the surgery.
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We had to go to our primary care physician, and you have to have a pre surgery appointment.
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You have to have an X ray, you have to have a physical and then an EKG and do all these things to make sure that you're physically able to do survive.
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And our doctor said, look, unless something insane pops up in this physical day, she says, you're having the surgery.
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Yeah.
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And my wife, like I said, has a fantastic sense of humor.
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She's hysterical.
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We're leaving that appointment, okay?
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She's in just, like, major pain, and she's in the wheelchair.
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She has to go to the bathroom.
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So I'm wheeling her into the bathroom, and when she was done, I go in there, and I'm trying to get the wheelchair out, but the brakes are locked.
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So I reach over, and I unlocked the left brake, and then I'm rolling in circles.
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I'm like, oh, crap, I need to undo the right brake.
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Okay.
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And then I'm still rolling in circles.
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So I reach down and I undo the left brake.
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I'm like, I thought I did this.
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Turns out my wife, when I'm undoing.
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The left brake, she's doing the other.
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One, locking the right brake.
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And then she starts laughing at me because she thinks it's funny that I'm confused.
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Thank you for that, Libby.
00:11:42.210 --> 00:11:45.070
Just like, it's hysterical.
00:11:45.490 --> 00:11:49.913
This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by Casey's Lemon Pies.
00:11:50.042 --> 00:11:53.870
Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and I'm on the road all the time.
00:11:54.019 --> 00:11:58.750
While I'm out, I like to grab my favorite snack, a lemon pie at Casey's.
00:11:58.830 --> 00:12:00.765
Holy crap, these things are delicious.
00:12:00.878 --> 00:12:03.230
Some people say they taste better than kearns.
00:12:03.309 --> 00:12:07.142
Go out and grab a Casey's Lemon Pie today, you'll taste the difference.
00:12:07.275 --> 00:12:10.210
Casey's lemon pies, available at casey's.
00:12:10.289 --> 00:12:11.720
Now back to the show.
00:12:13.289 --> 00:12:20.220
Before she had the surgery, the surgeon gave her a lot of really good drugs, okay?
00:12:20.909 --> 00:12:25.498
The good stuff heisenberg blue stuff that actually would help.
00:12:25.663 --> 00:12:36.062
So I go to the pharmacy to pick up her kick a** pain medication, and there's a sign on the window, the drive through that says, the drive through is not available.
00:12:36.115 --> 00:12:37.293
Please come inside.
00:12:37.491 --> 00:12:38.461
Like, okay, great.
00:12:38.515 --> 00:12:40.477
So I go inside, and there's a line.
00:12:40.644 --> 00:12:45.998
And this was where I think your soulmate was in line in front of me.
00:12:46.083 --> 00:12:47.878
There's an African American woman.
00:12:47.994 --> 00:12:51.090
She's in line, and she's b*******, okay?
00:12:51.240 --> 00:12:54.225
She's b******* up a storm because her medicine wasn't ready.
00:12:54.327 --> 00:12:59.094
And the pharmacist, God love her, she's being as nice as she can possibly be.
00:12:59.211 --> 00:13:07.350
And she says, we're trying to get your medication, but we had it ready for you a few weeks ago.
00:13:07.419 --> 00:13:11.121
You didn't pick it up, and so they had to return it.
00:13:11.275 --> 00:13:15.446
And the woman's like, so you're telling me that I'm not going to get my medicine?
00:13:15.557 --> 00:13:18.662
And the pharmacist says, we're getting you your medicine.
00:13:18.725 --> 00:13:20.874
We just have to create a new order for it.
00:13:20.912 --> 00:13:24.461
And that's why it's taking the time, because we have to remake it.
00:13:24.515 --> 00:13:27.470
What you had was returned, okay?
00:13:27.539 --> 00:13:29.470
Because you didn't come and get it.
00:13:29.620 --> 00:13:39.221
This is where the lady says, I don't mean to be pushy, but I've got ice cream in the car and I'm about to die.
00:13:39.306 --> 00:13:40.413
God bless this woman.
00:13:40.461 --> 00:13:41.038
I'm about to die.
00:13:41.053 --> 00:13:41.614
Lapse.
00:13:41.741 --> 00:13:42.429
Real concern.
00:13:42.509 --> 00:13:44.033
Mike never would have left in the car.
00:13:44.072 --> 00:13:45.933
No, I wouldn't have mean.
00:13:45.991 --> 00:13:47.029
Good Lord.
00:13:47.610 --> 00:13:55.474
The lady behind her is this elderly woman, and she gets her medicine.
00:13:55.601 --> 00:13:59.394
She starts b******* because she didn't get her discount.
00:13:59.442 --> 00:14:01.169
She goes, where's my discount?
00:14:01.330 --> 00:14:06.902
And the nice pharmacist said, I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't know what you mean by a discount.
00:14:07.046 --> 00:14:08.966
It's senior Tuesday.
00:14:09.158 --> 00:14:12.806
On senior Tuesday, seniors get a discount.
00:14:12.918 --> 00:14:14.799
You guys should know about that.
00:14:15.570 --> 00:14:18.686
And pharmacist says, this is the first I'm hearing about it.
00:14:18.707 --> 00:14:21.754
And she asks the other pharmacist, and the other pharmacist, is this a pharmacy.
00:14:21.802 --> 00:14:24.394
Only thing the senior Tuesday, or is it everywhere?
00:14:24.442 --> 00:14:28.450
Yeah, the other pharmacist said, I don't know what she's talking about.
00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:29.629
They called the manager.
00:14:29.710 --> 00:14:34.350
The manager comes back there, goes, oh, yeah, on senior Tuesday, you do get a discount.
00:14:34.429 --> 00:14:39.029
And the lady's like, yeah, you need to teach all your employees about Senior Tuesday.
00:14:39.450 --> 00:14:43.269
And the lady behind me goes, oh, Jesus.
00:14:46.090 --> 00:14:47.282
There'S my soulmate.
00:14:47.346 --> 00:14:47.960
Yes.
00:14:48.490 --> 00:15:01.350
And I'm sitting there or standing there in line thinking, if there's anybody who should be b*******, it would be me, because my wife is home in the worst pain she's ever been in waiting for Oxycodone.
00:15:01.429 --> 00:15:06.813
And you have ice cream in the car and you didn't get 10% off because you're 85 years old.
00:15:06.851 --> 00:15:07.005
Yeah.
00:15:07.028 --> 00:15:12.121
The lady with the ice cream should be disqualified from getting anything because she clearly doesn't respect the ice cream.
00:15:12.265 --> 00:15:16.745
The senior Tuesday scares me because what if a senior signs up for our patreon today?
00:15:16.788 --> 00:15:19.293
Does that mean we have to give them a senior Tuesday discount?
00:15:19.341 --> 00:15:20.162
I'm not doing it.
00:15:20.216 --> 00:15:28.374
No, the lady with the ice cream, the other pharmacist came up and he said, your stuff will be ready in a couple of minutes.
00:15:28.412 --> 00:15:29.346
Do you mind having a seat?
00:15:29.378 --> 00:15:32.600
She goes, no, I'm going to stand here.
00:15:35.129 --> 00:15:36.101
I'll show you.
00:15:36.155 --> 00:15:37.618
And I'm like, you son of a b****.
00:15:37.634 --> 00:15:39.706
I'm like, Jesus Christ.
00:15:39.888 --> 00:15:43.450
So it was fun getting Libby her medication, but I did give it to her.
00:15:43.519 --> 00:15:44.826
I got it and brought it home.
00:15:44.927 --> 00:15:45.820
That's good.
00:15:48.029 --> 00:15:51.529
When Libby takes her medication, she gets really goofy.
00:15:52.110 --> 00:15:57.101
She was telling my mom a story, and she has both hands up, right?
00:15:57.155 --> 00:16:02.926
Like she's holding a baby, and she's just got both her hands, and she's talking, and then she goes, oh, I'm sorry.
00:16:03.107 --> 00:16:04.509
This is a visual.
00:16:06.450 --> 00:16:08.686
She's jacked up on oxycodone.
00:16:08.798 --> 00:16:09.313
Yeah.
00:16:09.432 --> 00:16:12.977
In a minute, I'm going to tell you some of the things she said while on Oxycodone, okay?
00:16:13.063 --> 00:16:14.802
This is why I love nurses, okay?
00:16:14.855 --> 00:16:28.346
So after Libby does her surgery and she's in recovery and she's woken up and she's had a little bit of food and she's stood up and she's able to move around a little bit, the nurse asks me, she says, do you have any questions, sir?
00:16:28.368 --> 00:16:31.340
I said, yeah, when can she start cleaning house again?
00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:34.182
She looks and that's not funny.
00:16:34.245 --> 00:16:36.138
Without even blinking, she goes, oh, today?
00:16:36.224 --> 00:16:39.210
Yeah, at the very latest, tomorrow.
00:16:40.509 --> 00:16:41.679
It was great.
00:16:42.769 --> 00:16:45.514
Another example of Libby and her great sense of humor.
00:16:45.642 --> 00:16:57.422
When I took her that morning to the hospital to get her surgery, they wheel her back and they do all the things and they're like, we'll get you in a second before she goes in for surgery.
00:16:57.566 --> 00:16:59.806
The nurse walks out and she says, Darren.
00:16:59.918 --> 00:17:00.333
Darren.
00:17:00.381 --> 00:17:01.426
And I get up and I walk in.
00:17:01.447 --> 00:17:04.529
She goes, Your wife asked me to call you Darwin.
00:17:05.109 --> 00:17:07.726
She says, I'll pay you money if you call him Darfin.
00:17:07.758 --> 00:17:08.430
But she didn't.
00:17:08.509 --> 00:17:13.173
I'm like, you ruined a really good joke, nurse whatever your name.
00:17:13.372 --> 00:17:14.102
Yeah, yeah.
00:17:14.155 --> 00:17:14.726
Did you pay her?
00:17:14.748 --> 00:17:15.622
Did you give her the money.
00:17:15.675 --> 00:17:15.846
No.
00:17:15.867 --> 00:17:18.342
It would have been funny if she'd called me Darwin, but she didn't.
00:17:18.405 --> 00:17:18.826
Okay.
00:17:18.928 --> 00:17:20.299
Can I interject us?
