IDS #191 - Hank the Sesame Street Bigot

>> Darin: Check, check, check it out. What y'all, what y'all about?

>> Mike: Y'all about to get.

>> Darin: Let's turn this. Turn this party out.

>> Mike: Women like a big man because you can cuddle with them. M. Am I right? But there's such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

>> Dave: Welcome to irritable dead syndrome, the modern day warrior with mean, mean pride, whatever the hell that means. Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 191.

>> Mike: We are so excited that you're here.

>> Mike: I haven't been this excited since that time back at the place with the stuff.

>> Darin: Oh, remember that?

>> Speaker C: I do.

>> Mike: With the chain? Yeah, it was crazy. That was rough.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: so we have some things. Darren and I are both in a mood, which tends to. We actually started the show an hour ago.

>> Darin: We have been bitching.

>> Mike: We just turned on the. We have things that we can't talk about in polite society, but we've gotten.

>> Darin: All that out of the way.

>> Mike: That's all out of the way.

>> Darin: So now we're going to talk about things uplifting, positive.

>> Mike: Yeah, we're all good and riled up. So, I'm going to talk about LinkedIn, who has a LinkedIn account, and what do you think about it?

>> Darin: Okay, I'm going to talk about the Ramones. And then one of our listeners has provided our chick fil a story of the week. This is going to be a good episode. Stay with us.

>> Mike: I went to chick fil a today.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: I just got one of those Cobb salads.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Oh, I love the Cobb salad.

>> Mike: Yeah, the Cobb salad's good. You can get it with the light italian dressing.

>> Mike: Adds hardly any calories. and tastes wonderful.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: And with the little tomato crispy things.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: They've added a new worker to the chickfila line.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Because I was thinking the supply lines are looking a little sparse.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: they had the two people taking orders, then they had the one person that takes the change.

>> Speaker C: Ah.

>> Mike: And then they had the two people that give you your order and the two people.

>> Darin: Then they got the person who directs traffic.

>> Mike: Well, it's too cold for him.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: but the one that gives the change now will stand in front of one of the car lanes and hold his hand up and gesture the other lane forward.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Now, ladies and gentlemen, this is not a, high speed traffic area. No. You order your food and then you pull forward.

>> Mike: Most good God fearing Christian Americans understand how that works, right? Not too many people get to the person that takes the order and then just slams the accelerator and shoots up.

>> Darin: Does the bo and Luke Duke the hell out of.

>> Mike: Because if you do that, you're out of sync. And then nobody knows what to make. What delicious, chick fil a items.

>> Darin: To put in your bag don't get out of sync.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: So now they've got this guy in his new standard, operating procedure is to put his hand up the universal stop symbol. Speaking of stop, for someone who should.

>> Darin: Stop, we forgot to do the intro for this segment. Hold on.

>> Dave: It's time now for the chick fil a story of the week.

>> Darin: Okay, thanks, Dave. Keep going.

>> Mike: They got the two guys now that give you your order? Yeah, the one guy is behind the window. All right. Right there. He's 3ft from my face. Right here.

>> Mike: There's another guy in between me and him and the guy in the, wait, wait. The guy in the window, he's 3ft away, open window. I've got my car window down. The guy in between says, can I get your name? Mike.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: He turns to the guy that is less than six inches from his face at this point, said, we got Mike here. Like I think Bucky heard, know. And then Bucky looks at him and says, mayor ordered a whole bunch of Cobb salads.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh oh, no.

>> Mike: in here. and then the guy in between, says, well, we've got Mike here now and he ordered a Cobb salad. We need to call.

>> Darin: Do they not know who you are? Yeah, I mean, what the hell you are, Mike.

>> Mike: And then the bucky says, hold on, hold on. I've got one coming through right now. I'm like, guys, come on, it's a chickfila.

>> Mike: I'm ordering a Cobb salad. This is not the nuclear Football. This is not know, I don't need, you know, to come out there and kill you with a magazine if you don't have it on. Just, just give me the salad and let me be on my way. I'm going to pull over there and watch some YouTube videos, and consume it and then go back to work. I don't need this in my life.

>> Speaker C: Ah, yeah.

>> Mike: Why are you out here? It got cold and they put another dude out there to relay the message. It would be like, literally, it's like.

>> Darin: Me and the guy pass it on.

>> Mike: Yeah, me and the guy in the window are closer together than you and I are right now. Could you imagine if there was a guy in between us right now relaying messages?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Like, at this point he would be saying, darren, could you imagine if there was a guy relaying messages? You'd be like, what the hell are you even here for?

>> Darin: Can you tell Mike that I said, yeah, I can't imagine it. That'd be wild.

>> Mike: Meanwhile, you got freaking William Wallace back there. Every other car hold and not letting them come through. It's ridiculous.

>> Darin: While we're on Chick fil A, Jim Timmerman, uh-huh longtime fan of the show.

>> Mike: He's a planker.

>> Darin: He's a constant contributor to the show. He, wrote in to us this week and his email said, dear irritable.

>> Mike: Dad syndrome, that's a very nice way to start an email. Very respectful.

>> Darin: For the first time ever, I'm having breakfast at Chick fil A. And they said, what's a good.

>> Mike: Show?

>> Darin: He's listened to every episode.

>> Mike: Ezekiel.

>> Darin: He continues. He said, I said, james. She replied, jane. And I said, yeah. When I got to the drive through, she said, jane. And again I said, yeah. Then she smiled a little bit. I was not impressed with the coffee or the bacon egg muffin. The tots were kind of fun. Not sure if I'm going back unless I go for the entertainment value. Have a great day. M. He's a guy. Okay, now here's the thing. Jim Timmerman, James, Has a very distinct voice. He could go in radio, he has a very pleasure, very pleasant, very planking with Jim.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: He doesn't sound like anybody who would be named Jane.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: How do you hear a man say, my name is James? Quite possibly the most popular name of all time, if not one of the top four five.

>> Mike: In terms of male oriented names, James is pretty high on the list of.

>> Darin: Yeah, James and John, I think. Tie for one and two.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: Come on. So you're a man. You go up there and you say, my name is James.

>> Darin: And you say, jane.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: That'S my name. Jane.

>> Dave: This has been the chick fil a story of the week. Now back to you, Mike. And.

>> Mike: Know back in the day, you could slap know other people's kids, like right in front of, like.

>> Speaker C: Exactly.

>> Mike: Your kid would be saying something out of line, and I just backhand him right across the thing. And you would say, yeah. See that? You want to hit you again.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. Give it up. Yeah.

>> Darin: Listen to Mike.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: You would say, listen to Mr. Odle.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, that's right.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: He's an adult, damn it.

>> Mike: He's an adult.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Whatever he says goes. Well, that led to some problems back in the. There's a reason.

>> Darin: But you know what, I never did get spanked by, someone else's parent.

>> Mike: Yeah, no, I know.

>> Darin: teachers. I got paddling.

>> Mike: When did you get paddled? In school. What age were you? Oh boy.

>> Darin: This is elementary school, so. Fourth, fifth. I probably got a paddling that age too.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Did I tell you the story about my first grade paddling? No. So there was a kid in our class that brought a balloon.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: One of those. That's a paddling.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: One of those banana balloons.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: And he blew it up. Now I'm in first grade, so I don't know some of the terminology. I just repeated the words I heard. He blew it up completely. He put it down by his crotch. he let it go and he yelled to everyone, my flew off. I thought that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen in my life. I didn't even know what a was, but I thought it was hilarious. So I got the balloon. This was the first grade in the 80s, kids. So I just blew it up and I put it down there. As the teacher is walking into the room, I have it sticking up two or 3ft. And I yell out, my flew off too. And then the teacher took me to the principal's, office, which was in view of the room. And I was paddled. Like, I mean, we went from crime.

>> Mike: To punishment. It was less than two minutes from the moment I did it to the moment my.

>> Darin: What happened? Exhibit a. No, your honor. You couldn't plead your case. they didn't call your parents new? Oh no.

>> Speaker C: That's a paddling.

>> Mike: I got in trouble a lot in elementary school for talking. I would not shut my ass up.

>> Darin: Me too.

>> Mike: And farted.

>> Darin: And now what are we doing? Yeah, we're talking and farting. What do you think about that, Miss Large? That was my kindergarten teacher. Yeah, I talked all the time in school. And they would put your name on the board, right?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then you'd get a mark and.

>> Darin: Then you get another mark. And I would get a four marks. And then she had to cross.

>> Mike: I got the five.

>> Darin: I think she's going to run out of chalk.

>> Mike: She's probably wondering why you won't just shut the hell up and you had to talk. I did. Because what you had to say had to be said, had to be said at that moment. Yeah, that's how I was. I was so annoying as a little kid. I'm going to apologize publicly to somebody in my class, is one of my closest friends all through school. Jamie.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: I was reading hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy series for the first time. They're hilarious books. and I would read a passage that I thought was funny, and then I would start laughing. This is in the middle of class, the teacher is talking about stuff, and I would just start laughing. And I would like. And make Jamie read it. And he would read it because he thought it was funny, too. but looking back now as a 40 something year old dude, I'm like, I think he was just being nice to me. He probably, after the second or third time, he's like, good lord. This kid keeps giving this book over to m me and he won't stop. I've been wondering how many people tolerate me because they're nice and, How many people genuinely care about what I'm. You ever wonder that?

>> Darin: Well, I do now.

>> Mike: I'm going to tell a story. I'm going to change the names to protect the Innocent.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Let's say I have a, I'm going to change a lot more than just the names, okay? There is someone that I know who everyone loves, has more friends than any. If this person ran for president, I think he would win, okay? Especially if it was in the. If you only had to worry about one state's votes, he would win in a landslide.

>> Speaker C: Okay?

>> Mike: Everybody loves him.

>> Darin: This is the state of West Virginia.

>> Speaker C: Okay?

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I'm not going to confirm or deny that.

>> Darin: let's just say this happened in Connecticut.

>> Mike: I've never met anybody that disliked this dude, okay? And he is good in groups. And one on one, I vary. Sometimes I'm good one on one and I suck in a group. Sometimes I'm great in a group. And then I split off with one person, and it's like, I got nothing to say to you. He doesn't vary at all. Like, he's good all the time. He will sit and talk to you. You'll talk to him for five minutes. He'll figure out what it is that you're interested in. He'll talk your ear off about it, and it'll be like, insightful stuff.

>> Darin: Are you talking about me?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Okay. This great person sounds exactly like.

>> Mike: I got to the point where, I would think, well, I don't have a whole lot of friends, but he likes me. And m everybody likes him. So if he likes me, then I must be, you know, what? I mean, yeah. Then I met someone else that he was friends with.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: And people had an issue with this person. This is why I'm protecting the innocent. Okay, you and your family had an issue with this person. You've met this person, you've met this other person and everybody. The phrase at the get together was, what's the deal with? My point is that threw me for an existential crisis loop, because I'm like, wait a second. He, the person I'm talking about likes this other guy, but does he really like him, right? Or is he just so nice and so friendly?

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And he never says anything bad to anybody. Does, that mean I'm. Because I'm looking at this other guy. I'm like, he's an.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Maybe. I'm an maybe, like, when I go to events with this person, people around him are. Man, why did he bring Mike? Mike's such. Messed me up. Messed me up hard and made me think of my friend Jamie. Because my friend Jamie was the same way everybody loved know. Now I'm like, I think he just tolerated m who. Who of my friends just tolerates me. Yeah, this went dark really fast. Might have to make a bonus episode. You were thinking this. You're going to think of it now.

>> Darin: Yeah, I know who you're talking about. I figured it out.

>> Mike: So do you have somebody in your friend? I'm not that, by the way. You don't have to worry about me if I don't like you.

>> Speaker C: I tell you.

>> Mike: But in your friendosphere, there's going to be one that's just putting up with your. Probably one. Oh, yeah, Chris Michael Jackass. He probably hates you. He probably wakes up every morning hoping to see. Hoping to see an emergency vehicle outside your place. Oh, I hope Darren fell down his steps and hit his head on a barbell and he's dead. And you just bled out right there. And his kids found him.

>> Darin: I love how you assume we have exercise equipment in the house. That's cute. That is cute. and Chris does not think that Chris is great.

>> Mike: You don't know that Chris is nice to me. Chris and I have had great conversations. Why are you doubting he's always in a good mood? Because he's a nice guy, but that could be a facade.

>> Darin: Okay, so this Jamie guy, his friend, has made you question all your other friendships?

>> Mike: No. You misnamed. But the concept is the same. Yes. If you have somebody that loves everyone and then you see someone that they get along with, that everyone else seems to be like, why? They get along with him. Then you're like, It makes you wonder, maybe you have just run into a bunch of people like that and you don't really have any friends. You have a bunch of people that tolerate your.

>> Darin: Maybe.

>> Speaker C: Hm.

>> Darin: I do wonder if people tolerate me, because I know I talk a lot.

>> Mike: You do?

>> Darin: But I don't think I dominate conversations.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, okay.

>> Darin: I know people who dominate conversations.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's annoying.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: One uppers do that a lot.

>> Speaker C: Yes.

>> Mike: I know someone that dominates more, conversations than you.

>> Darin: Than you do. it's like, I like talking, but I also like hearing and listening. And I like having a good conversation. I like hearing jokes and I like telling jokes. I like to laugh when I have a conversation.

>> Mike: See, the good thing about you is if I start talking about coconuts, you'll offer up, an opinion on coconuts, right?

>> Speaker E: You're using coconuts. What? You've got two empty arves of coconut and you're banging them together. So we have ridden since the snows of winter covered this land, through the kingdom of Mercia. through. Where'd you get the coconuts? We found them, found them in Mercia? The coconut's tropical. What do you mean? Well, this is a temperate zone. The swallow may fly south with the sun. Or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climbs in winter. Yet these are not strangers to our land. Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? Not at all. They could be carried.

>> Speaker C: What?

>> Speaker E: A, swallow carrying a coconut? It could grip it by the husk. It's not a question of where he grips it. It's a simple question of weight ratios. A, five ounce bird, could not carry a one pound coconut.

>> Darin: Yeah, that reminds me of the time where I did something with the coconut and then I tried to add to it, because that's what a conversation is. I used to work for a guy. we had a meeting once, and we were sitting there, and we're waiting and waiting and waiting, and we're just sitting there. And if nobody's talking, I go crazy. So, how's it going?

>> Speaker C: Good. Yeah?

>> Darin: Okay. anything in particular good about today? Ah, no, just basic.

>> Speaker C: Good. Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Give me something going. I go crazy.

>> Mike: Does it piss you off? See, here's what pisses me off. Is because whoever, like everyone, feels uncomfortable when no one's talking. That's a common thing.

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: I, think they do.

>> Darin: I know people who love sitting and not talking. I m know they're crazy. They're freaks.

>> Mike: If you came over and sat in our kitchen and didn't say anything to anybody for, like, three or 4 hours, it would be weird.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It would be uncomfortable. Very, it would be for clempt.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: It'd be very penultimate.

>> Mike: No one would enjoy themselves, and we would start to wonder what's going on. What annoys me is that if you're around people like that who will not say anything, and then you got to start a conversation, and then they judge what you just said. Have you ever run into one of.

>> Darin: Those, people who judge what I said?

>> Mike: So no one's saying, and then, okay, I'll give you a real story. Okay, here's someone else that I don't even talk to anymore, so I'll throw it out, whatever. I used to work with somebody.

>> Speaker C: Hm.

>> Mike: And she had a husband.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: And Bess really liked her m and said we should all went to the movie. Didn't get any popcorn.

>> Darin: Who does that at the movie? what are you, a robot?

>> Mike: I was convinced they had, like, a girl in a well at their house, and they lowered down lotion and made skin suits.

>> Darin: What are you, Amish or something?

>> Mike: No. What happened was every Amish just sit there and you make cheese and wooden toys.

>> Darin: Sorry if I've offended any amish listeners on the Internet.

>> Mike: We have a huge amish audience. This is her little dad syndrome. Your choice for amish entertainment.

>> Darin: Next, we're going to talk about our favorite butter churn.

>> Mike: I told Bess because, she wanted to sit with them, like a company party. And I said, every time we're together, I'm driving the conversation. It's just me sitting there saying. And he's just like, yes. I said, I'm going to ask him one question. One. And then I'm not saying he has to either expand on his answer or ask me a question. Otherwise, we're going to sit there and be uncomfortable as hell. And I can do it because I'm an ass. I can be an ass when called upon. Batman, there's an ass light in the sky.

>> Darin: Signal goes.

>> Speaker C: Signal.

>> Mike: I'm right there. We went to the thing. I remember the question I asked him. I asked him something about Warcraft three, because I was playing Warcraft three back in the day, so have you ever played Warcraft three? Do you like Warcraft? And he said, yeah. Oh, my God. Crickets. Yeah. And I said. I said, huh? And I looked over at Bess, and she's given me the side eye. You ever get the side eye from your wife. Do like, ah, she's watching to see what's happened.

>> Speaker C: Huh?

>> Mike: And she got a little smirk. No one else could see it but me. You've been married for a long time. You get those little signals that no one else can see. I saw her smirk, and I shot back another smirk. And I sat there and stared at the side of her head while she talked to the other friend. And every once in while a. I'd look over at him and I'd do one of these people in the video be able to see it. I'd be like, didn't even talk about the food. Because people who are weak minded people would say, oh, this is uncomfortable. I'm going to say something about how this clam dip is off the chain.

>> Speaker C: Ah. Yeah.

>> Mike: Because it was cool and I didn't. It was off the chain.

>> Speaker C: Oh, good.

>> Mike: It was awesome.

>> Speaker C: Clam,

>> Mike: About it. I didn't say the rest of the night until other people came up to us and said, hey, Mike, how you doing? And I talked their ear off. And then I would sit back down. Nothing.

>> Darin: I'm sorry, but it's like, if you're going to a dinner party, if you're going out with a couple, you should expect that they're going to talk.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Why did you come out?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I get it. There are people who are introverted. I get that. There are people who are shy. I get that. But come on, it's like, throw me a damn bone.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Dave: M this portion of our show is brought to you by diff liquid concentrated wallpaper stripper. With its unique enzyme action, diff dissolves old paste and cuts wallpaper removal time in half. Hi, I'm Dave lay. And back in my twenty s, I made a pretty good living stripping wallpaper, and I always used diff. I remember thinking that I could use an inferior product, take twice the time and make more money. But honesty runs deep in my blood, and I'm brand loyal. I stand by diff until the end of time. Diff the only one that really works. Back to you, Mike and Darren.

>> Mike: So I wanted to talk about LinkedIn. I did point that out at the top. Do you have a LinkedIn?

>> Darin: I do not have a LinkedIn account. I am not LinkedIn.

>> Mike: Have you ever been on LinkedIn?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Speaker C: No.

>> Mike: This is going to be a one sided conversation.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Is it a lot like the Facebook?

>> Mike: Well, it's become that.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: So back in the day, LinkedIn is you put where you work and all this stuff, and it would connect people in your industry, whatever. So if you're in the, wax dildo industry and you make a LinkedIn profile and you stand for. That's right. then you meet other wax dildo professionals in your general area, and you can talk about wax dildos and stuff and share articles and thumbs up the articles and talk about the articles.

>> Darin: You know, my son's going to ask me, dad, what's a wax dildo?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm going to have him call you.

>> Mike: It's like a plastic dildo, but don't let it get too warm. New, So that was all well and good, and it's a networking tool, right?

>> Darin: For professionals, for people who want, people.

>> Mike: Who want to get work, who want to change careers or whatever they want. You're hiring. Companies will put ads on LinkedIn, say, hey, we're hiring a new measurer, for the wax dildo molds at the factory.

>> Darin: They all have to be eight inches.

>> Mike: Yeah, well, hold on there, Sally, because we got all kinds of different sizes and shapes. We got the wolf man. I don't know what that is.

>> Darin: We got the jawbreaker. Wait a minute. I'm in the wrong, factory.

>> Mike: We got the elephant ear.

>> Speaker C: I don't know what that.

>> Mike: Wrong factory. Anyway.

>> Darin: LinkedIn.

>> Mike: LinkedIn, yeah. You could put all this stuff on there and people would get on there. And, a few years ago, randomly, somebody would put just, an unfortunate post. I think, Bart, Florida flart is the best candidate for, this issue. I'm trying to be non political.

>> Speaker C: Okay. Yeah.

>> Mike: And just say some asinine stuff. And then all these people talk about what an idiot he is, right? and then he would go away. And then that's happened more and more. And LinkedIn has become like Facebook, okay? And a lot of people said, that's where it started to suck. I said, no, that's where it started to actually get interesting. You don't even have a LinkedIn account.

>> Darin: Nope.

>> Mike: People don't care about LinkedIn.

>> Darin: I have way too many social media accounts already.

>> Mike: So outside of those asinine posts, you get posts when someone loses their job. They'll change their little thing to says, open to work, or, I'm sorry, they don't have to lose their job. Maybe they're just advertising that they want to leave their current job. Now hiring, or now hiring. If you're hiring. So you've got those posts, then you have someone that posts something from their industry, and they say, we're so excited about the new, molds in the wax dildo. vernacular. Penultimately.

>> Darin: Vernacular.

>> Mike: And I want to say, really? Are you really that excited about. People could get excited. Let me change that.

>> Darin: Someone that works, you know what I'm thinking?

>> Mike: You should.

>> Darin: That's a different example than the one.

>> Mike: Someone who works in the wheat flour industry will say, here's an amazing, breakthrough in wheat flour technology.

>> Darin: So many things.

>> Mike: I'm having so much fun. I'm so excited. And they show pictures of themselves at the wheat flower expo in, sioux city, Iowa. Selfies with heard flurgan burst, the inventor of the wheat flour grinder, 2.0, the biggest step forward in wheat flour grinders since barty flass's grinder in 1890. They've really moved the industry forward. And you're like, do you really, this.

>> Darin: Week only meet M. John Deere?

>> Mike: Are you really that passionate about wheat flour? Really?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't think people are. I think people are putting. Okay, it's like when you were in school, okay, this is what the LinkedIn people are. Remember back in the day when you.

>> Darin: Were in school, and they could paddle.

>> Mike: You, and we were supposed to have a test on Friday, and then it's like, oh, my God, the class is almost over, and the teacher hasn't said anything about the test or anything about that. That's the LinkedIn guy.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: That's the one. You're throwing stuff on there to get people excited. He didn't really want to test. He wanted the teacher to know that he wanted to test.

>> Speaker C: Yes.

>> Mike: flardy blart here is not excited about wheat flour. He wants everyone in the wheat flour industry to know that he's posting about it. So when they finally kick him out on his ass at the wheat flour factory, he's got a network of people who will hire him. Well, he's really excited about wheat flour. We need to get him in here.

>> Speaker C: Right.

>> Darin: And especially now that he's left the wax dildo industry.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Speaker E: What happened?

>> Darin: What's this got to do with LinkedIn?

>> Mike: The point is, okay, LinkedIn annoys me, okay? If you go to somebody's profile, you see post after post, we're so excited about the new wheat, flour packaging.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Are you really excited? Maybe I'm jaded. That could be it.

>> Speaker C: Really?

>> Mike: I could be jaded.

>> Darin: So, hold on. You're suggesting that you might be the problem?

>> Mike: I might be the problem.

>> Darin: I can't imagine that.

>> Mike: This is one of those instances where this podcast becomes therapy for me. Maybe people really are. Maybe there's somebody out there that works at Kroger okay. And they're going to post something about, hey, if you touch your beats, when you open the bag, a whole world of possibilities opens up and it'll show selfies of them touching their beats and opening the bag. And they're really excited about that. And they're looking at the likes and, wow, I'm trending in the beat touching.

>> Darin: Industry now on, LinkedIn. Can you like things?

>> Mike: You can like things.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I think it makes a little heart.

>> Darin: Does it have like, a smiley face? And can you care about an event?

>> Mike: I don't think you can care.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: I think you can like it. I think you can love it. I don't even think you can dislike. I think you can either like it or love it or like, give it thumbs up. Okay. You don't want to commit. You just want to say, yeah, I saw it. Or the worst thing you can comment.

>> Mike: Wow. I too am excited about touching beets and wheat flour. Come see our, exhibit at the wheat, our new Wheat expo. Wheat beets. Come try our wheat beets in Sioux City, Iowa next week at the wheat. Wheat spo.

>> Darin: I hope we get such, just a spike in Sioux City, Iowa. you know, they used to be Letterman's home of the top ten list.

>> Speaker C: Did it?

>> Darin: Home office.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: That's why it's in my head. There's a theme in this episode. I don't know if you can tell. I'm tired of.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Really. If someone is a friend, I want them to really care about what I'm saying.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And really enjoy my company and not just be like, well, I'm a nice guy and he's a. But I'll show him I'm a nice guy by, dealing with the fact that he's a penis. and then I also want people to be genuine. I want a genuine, experience. If people really are that excited about beets and wheat flour. Okay, let me put it in a different category here for you. We have a podcast. I don't know if you know this. We have a podcast. We're doing the podcast right now. We are doing value added work.

>> Darin: Three years and counting.

>> Mike: Three years and counting. This is value added work for the podcast. You can't do more for the podcast than what we're currently doing right now.

>> Darin: I don't think so.

>> Mike: If we didn't do this, there would be nothing to edit. There'd be nothing to post.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: There'd be nothing to pull video from to promote. We would not have a podcast. Right.

>> Darin: If we didn't do a podcast. We would not have one. You're right.

>> Speaker C: Thank you.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Speaker E: Hey, what happened?

>> Mike: My job. One of my jobs. I'm going somewhere with this. But you're right. If we didn't do a podcast, we wouldn't have a podcast. So we've got to do it. But there's also other things we got to do. It's got to be edited. We could have a podcast without editing. We've tried that. Episode one.

>> Darin: listen, we can't.

>> Mike: That's right.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: You have to buy a Patreon subscription. Listen to it. Actually do that. It's a really good episode. It's probably one of our best. if you get on Patreon, available. Only available on Patreon. The point is, this thing's got to be promoted, right? I'm on the tweeter. We're on Twitter, we're m on Facebook, we're on YouTube. We're on Instagram. And TikTok.

>> Darin: Are we on LinkedIn?

>> Mike: We're getting more and more following on TikTok. No, LinkedIn was one of the options. And I'm like, no, we'd pay extra. And I was like, we post multiple times, at least once per day. A lot of times twice per day. And on post about this show. And that's fun, but there's a limit. There's a point. There are weeks where it gets to be, like, Thursday or Friday, and it's like, oh, God. And then I start looking for a reel. I start putting something together, and through the course of it, I find joy. And then when I get to something that makes me giggle, or at least. Oh, that's good enough, I put it out there. That's about as excited as I get for something.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: I could not post about wheat flour or beets.

>> Darin: Right?

>> Mike: Five days a week. No, six days, actually, because I do Saturdays as well. and talk about them. I'm not that excited about wheat or beets.

>> Darin: Beets?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: I don't tell you what I was that day. That woman touched her beets.

>> Mike: Exactly. But I don't believe people when they.

>> Darin: Say call a different circumstance.

>> Mike: I've talked to people that I know in real life on LinkedIn. I've talked to them outside of LinkedIn. Never mentioned. They never mentioned beets. They never mentioned wheat flour. They never mentioned wax dildos.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Not once.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: But on LinkedIn, they're so excited about all of those things and the things that they do.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: What I'm saying is.

>> Darin: This. Dramatic pause.

>> Mike: What I'm saying is, I think that we as a society would be doing a lot better if people would just stop each other and fit in ourselves. That's what I'm saying.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: If you don't care about beats, don't talk about beats. Get out of the beat industry, do something else. Yeah, do what you want to talk about. Talk about what you want to do.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, very. Hm. Good.

>> Darin: Thank you, Mike.

>> Mike: You're welcome.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: If you're in the beat touching industry.

>> Darin: No one's in the beat.

>> Mike: If you're in the. There are some out there, I guarantee, white shroot. If you're in the beat touching industry and you don't like it and it's like a stepping stone to something else, then don't act like you're excited.

>> Darin: Perhaps you want to move on to turnips.

>> Mike: Turnips is a really good industry to get in. You had some really good. It's more of a Reddit crowd over there.

>> Dave: You're listening to irritable dad syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: All right, stop what you're doing because.

>> Dave: I'm about to ruin the image and.

>> Darin: The style that you're used to.

>> Mike: Dune two is coming out, March 1. Yeah, I think March 1 is when it's out. March something.

>> Darin: Are we going?

>> Speaker C: Yeah, we'll go. Okay.

>> Mike: My point is, if a movie about wheat flower came out on the same day, I would see Dune instead of these wheat flower. People ain't going to go see it. They're going to see Dune. They're not going to see the wheat flower movie. I don't care how much they talk about how awesome it is on LinkedIn. They're not going to see it.

>> Darin: Are you on a medication or a different medication or.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Did you hit your head?

>> Mike: I did go to chick fil a for the first time in weeks.

>> Speaker C: Okay. We talked about. Yeah, we're not going to talk about that again. Yeah.

>> Darin: I want to talk about the Ramones.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Why do I want to talk about the Ramones?

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: It's a funny story.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: So I've got a budy in Johnson city. His name is Craig. Craig and I have known each other for a very long time.

>> Mike: Craig.

>> Darin: Hole Craig? No, a different Craig.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Craig is going to be a guest on our podcast next week.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: He's going to be talking about this project that he's working on that will blow your mind that. All I'm saying is right now, it's a music project and it's going to.

>> Mike: Blow your mind it's going to blow everyone's mind.

>> Darin: It's totally going to just. You're going to look and go, oh, my God.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Boom. I'm texting him today and we started talking about bands.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And one of the people in this project he's working on was in a bunch of bands, and it reminded me that I was once in a band for about five minutes called the Sylvesters. Stupid name for a band.

>> Mike: Was it tweety and the Sylvester's?

>> Darin: No, it was the Sylvesters. It was al who was, the lead singer and guitarist, rob on bass, Darren on drums. And we were together, trio, like, five minutes, okay. We practiced six or seven times. We never gigged. We just lost interest. And, we just never called each other. But I was telling Craig that that was, like, the stupidest name for a band because you can't pluralize Sylvester unless we were all named Sylvester, which we weren't. He says, well, what if it was your last name, like the Ramones? And I said, well, that worked for that band because that was their name. And he said, no, it wasn't. And I'm thinking, craig, you're full. Joey Ramon and, Johnny Ramon are brothers. I go on Google to prove Craig wrong, and, boy, was I wrong. all five guys in the Ramons, adopted the last name Ramon, and none of them are related. And I'm 53 years old, and for 35 years, or however long I've known at the Ramons, I swear to God, I thought Joey Ramon and Johnny Ramon were brothers.

>> Mike: I did until 30 seconds ago.

>> Darin: And I'm like. And I feel like, how did I not know? Although it's not one of those things. Your mom, you come home from school and she says, darren, I need you to sit down for a minute. We have to have a talk. Honey, Joey and Johnny Ramon aren't really brothers.

>> Speaker C: What? Yeah.

>> Mike: What?

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: And there used to be a different lead singer of, ACDC.

>> Darin: That's right. But it blew my mind.

>> Speaker C: Wow. Yeah.

>> Darin: we'll talk more about that next week when Craig's on the show.

>> Mike: I know some of you are concerned that there's not any you two mentioned, but, Ramon's is, Larry the drummer's favorite band. Yeah, he's wearing a Ramones t shirt and sounds like most of their videos.

>> Darin: They're very inspirational. I mean, they, inspired a lot of people to make, their own band.

>> Mike: I saw them once. I didn't really care for it, but I didn't either. It was like one, two, three. I love acidated.

>> Darin: And then that was two minutes. And then the next song, 1234 pound.

>> Mike: But I have seen in musical discussions or documentaries and stuff the music that was around at the time that they came out, I could see how that would be like.

>> Darin: They're said to be the first punk band.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by whompers. All beef footlong hot dogs. Hi, I'm Dave lay. Having a party. Well, nothing livens up a get together like some ice cold beer, funky tunes, and a couple of packs of whompers. All beef footlong hot dogs.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Dave: Whompers are packed full of flavor and have no fillers or preservatives. There's no doubt about it. Whompers will turn your hot dog party into a big old hot dog party. And remember, get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hot dog isn't a foot long, you'll get your money back, guaranteed. Back to you fellas in the studio.

>> Darin: One more thing before we go, because we're almost running out of time. I was cleaning, out the basement.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: And I found a box.

>> Mike: wax dildos.

>> Darin: Yes. And in the box was a bunch of stuff from my old office.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: And one of the things in there was an old notebook. Now, when I joined Twitter, I think I joined Twitter eleven.

>> Speaker C: Excuse me.

>> Darin: Or twelve years ago.

>> Speaker C: X.

>> Darin: It was Twitter at the time.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: When I joined that, I was really, really putting 184% into Twitter because I wanted to really get in there and compete with the guys who were getting a lot of the likes, the stars, whatever. I wanted to make a name for myself on Twitter. And I don't know, I kind of got close. I developed a small but loyal fan base.

>> Darin: And at the time, when I started on Twitter, they had a thing called Favstar or.

>> Speaker C: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: And if you joined that, you could tell somebody that that's the funniest thing I've seen all day. And you could give them a tweet of the day, a trophy.

>> Speaker C: Okay?

>> Darin: You can't pick it up, you can't carry it. It's not tangible. And over time, I ended up winning 111 of those.

>> Mike: Or 112.

>> Darin: That's nothing, dude. That's nothing. In the, There are people who had like 1000 of them.

>> Speaker C: Wow.

>> Darin: There were people who would get 20 trophies a day.

>> Speaker C: Okay?

>> Darin: They would get them like you would get anything else. And I was trying, trying. And I would try to tweet like once an hour or something.

>> Speaker C: Okay. Wow.

>> Darin: So this notebook that I had, anytime I had an idea. I would jot something down and try and turn it into a joke.

>> Mike: A tweet.

>> Darin: A tweet, as it were, and put it on the Twitter. And I found this notebook, and I'm going through it and half the on there. I have no clue what I was talking about. And I was reading some of these to Libby. Here's something that I wrote in the notebook.

>> Darin: Hank the sesame street bigot. I don't know the premise. I don't remember tweeting.

>> Mike: That's all premise right there.

>> Darin: I don't remember tweeting anything about anybody. Hank the Sesame street bigot. Okay, Adam.

>> Mike: And would that be a puppet, or would that be, like, one of the real people?

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: Like Mr. Hooper.

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Gordon.

>> Mike: There's Gordon.

>> Darin: Bob, Marie, and Hank the Sesame street bigot. Yeah. So I had that written down, but I don't remember ever tweeting anything about. I wrote down, Adam and Eve, tickle fight.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: I don't know. Yeah, I have no clue. Self magazine. I remember this joke.

>> Speaker C: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: It's like, I picked up a copy of Self magazine, and I was surprised I'm not in there. Yeah, okay. That one was pretty good. I wrote down r riding a horse. And then when you saw me, when I did my professional comedy debut, I turned that into some material. And then a friend of mine sent me this picture of r riding a horse that somebody had made. He went and googled it on the Internet. so I don't know if somebody stole that joke or, by coincidence, somebody else wrote r riding a horse. All I'm saying is, I thought it was original.

>> Mike: Copyrighted it.

>> Speaker C: Snorgasm.

>> Darin: okay. Know what that was? Harmonica holder grilled cheese sandwich.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, I thought it was funny. If you get one of those harmonica.

>> Mike: Holders for your grilled cheese sandwich.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: Like Neil young plays, you just eat a grilled.

>> Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

>> Darin: Glow in the dark toothpaste.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, that's a good idea.

>> Darin: Perverted squirrel, finally, invisible turkey. And I'm looking at this, I'm like, what in the hell?

>> Mike: I think invisible turkey and perverted squirrel opened for venomous beaver on their debut.

>> Darin: All I know is their, roadie was hank the. I mean, again, a few of those. I know where I went with them.

>> Mike: There's not many things I know in this world that are true, but here's one thing I do know. This episode is called Hank the Sesame Street Bigot, and it is our breakthrough episode. We've got informational, Things about LinkedIn. All the business people are going to be listening to this. We got dildos covered. Forget ever getting another job in any industry after this one. you've got the Sesame street bigot, so you got political stuff all over. This is pure, unbridled gold. Gold, baby. You got chickfila bitching. So, like, the religious people are going to come out of the woodwork. This is M 191.

>> Darin: If people are coming in right now, this is the best time to join.

>> Mike: This is the best time to be an irritable dad syndrome listener.

>> Darin: You know what? I've noticed you and I do that a lot. You'll say something like, I put my hand in my back pocket. Put your hand in your back pocket. You and I repeat each other word for word. I told him, I said, don't pick up the glow stick. Don't pick up the glow stick.

>> Mike: You know who else did that? Seinfeld and, George Paul Schaefer did that. That's true. That's true.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: Dave, he's, a face off.

>> Speaker C: David. Face off.

>> Darin: He had his whole faces off.

>> Mike: Don't blame Conan.

>> Darin: Don't blame Conan.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: I hope you're not planning on blaming Conan. Don't blame Conan at this moment.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: Something people have been doing. I've joined a bunch of new Facebook groups because I'm getting tired of the same old tool in YouTube.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: I joined a dark tower, thing. And something that they're doing is they're taking passages from the dark tower and feeding them into AI, and it's coming back with illustrations, and they're beautiful. Okay, so the dark tower books, when they first came out, they were all illustrated. There's pictures of all this stuff. Illustrations are pictures.

>> Darin: I know. You're telling the guy who only reads books that have pictures in them?

>> Mike: They're visual media, Darren. Yes. And some of these things coming back from AI are as good as or better than what's in the, pictures.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: and that's opened up a whole new door for me.

>> Darin: Me love book with picture.

>> Mike: I'm thinking of bringing back the curated pictures for the episode art. What do you think about that?

>> Darin: Okay, well, I mean, I thought we should do it in case we get sued.

>> Mike: Yeah, I don't want to get sued.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Mike: All right. Had the same position.

>> Darin: I know, but we put it on there as, Hey, we're talking about Indiana Jones this week. That's why it's on there. Yeah, I mean, that's what the decision reel does.

>> Mike: Yeah, they put the whole freaking logo.

>> Darin: For, goonies and gremlins.

>> Mike: I think I'm going to dabble back in that a little bit.

>> Darin: I keep saying this, that we did a best of year one.

>> Mike: Street bigot. I'm sorry.

>> Darin: We did a best of year one, and it's our most popular episode. We did best of year two. It's our second most popular episode. We did a best of year three. And it's got, It's done.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I want people. And it's not because I want this one to have a lot of. I mean, I do want our podcast to be popular.

>> Mike: Well, there's better stuff in it than.

>> Darin: There'S a lot of really good stuff in best of volume three. And I want people to know that because that's why we made them. It's for the people who are coming into this show new. So if you're new to the show, you can go to irritabledadsindrome.com and go through. And you can find episode 168, which. Don't you have all the best ofs in one little corner on that website?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Can daddy do that?

>> Mike: Daddy can do that.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Mike: Daddy can butts around with that.

>> Darin: Guys, we're going to go, as I mentioned, go to irritabledadsyndrome.com. Every episode we have is on there except for the first 25. But if you want to listen to those, you can go to Patreon.

>> Speaker C: Okay.

>> Darin: And you can donate money. And when you donate money to the podcast, you help us keep the lights on, so to speak. And what you do is, when you do that, you get access to hours and hours and hours.

>> Mike: A literal ton. I just put a bunch more stuff up yesterday.

>> Darin: A boatload of audio that you can't get by. Just normal. Just being some average nut job.

>> Mike: Follow us on Facebook for stuff. Ask your parents. Facebook is a thing that people used to do. But I'll tell you, as the guy that posts all of our up, Facebook is the easiest one to deal with.

>> Speaker C: Yeah.

>> Darin: All right, guys, take care, and we hope to see you next week on irritable dad syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mike Odell Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: Are you okay?

>> Speaker C: It.

>> Mike: I really feel strongly about this. Can you tell? Can you edit around to make me not seem like such a psycho?

>> Darin: What? So you want me to cut out the last 25 minutes?

>> Mike: No, don't do that.

>> Speaker C: Okay. Don't do that. Yeah.

>> Darin: Check your blood pressure, dude. I've had so much fun this week.

>> Speaker C: This is a good one. Yeah.

>> Mike: Recording stopped.