IDS #206 - The Things We Stole from the Ed Sullivan Theater

J Ryan: You know what I mean? I had to give, my microphone and my camera.

Darin: I got you access or whatever the.

J Ryan: Excuse me. Are we allowed to swear?

Mike: No. You were more than welcome. That was going to be my next thing, is that we edit out the swear words on the actual podcast. But again, on, our Patreon.

J Ryan: Do you just believe them or do you silence that?

Mike: Oh, we quack them.

Darin: We quack them. We've got a whip crack. We've got car horns.

Mike: If you throw out, there'll be a cat meowing.

Darin: Yes.

J Ryan: yes, I'm uncomfortable even reading that. That's fine in that connotation.

Darin: Anyway, well, Mike, I was talking about a cat. Mike went to see a band called Fester Pussycat, and he kept accidentally calling them the flaming.

Mike: I couldn't remember.

J Ryan: That's not. He's not that. Right. This is an old dad thing. It's the flaming lips. And then there's lips. I get exactly where he is.

Darin: He's like, so it was the, flaming mic. It's the. This faster pussycat. And then there was a hysterical.

J Ryan: And they were better when they were on Ned Sullivan. Anyway.

Darin: They don't make shows like they used to anymore.

J Ryan: Hey, why is the catch of the day always fish? Don't they have to catch all the animals?

Dave: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome, made with all natural ingredients.

Darin: That's right.

Dave: Here are your hosts, Mike and Darren.

Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

Mike: I'm Mike.

Darin: Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. This is episode 206. We are Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

Mike: Yeah, it's great.

Darin: It's really, really great.

J Ryan: Wow.

Darin: We have a guest joining us tonight. Our guest is Jay Ryan. He is in Los Angeles, California, or as our friends call it, Los Angeles, California. Jay is formerly with, he worked with Saturday Night Live. He worked with the Daily show. He worked with the Rosie O'Donnell show. This guy has a laundry list of cool that he has done in the past. He has a, podcast, cars and comedy. Also the. The late night playset. And I'm very envious of this guy. And I mean, no offense to Adam Needif or Mike Chisholm when I say this. Jay Ryan, I believe, is the most handsome guest we've ever had on the show. Jay, welcome to irritable dad syndrome.

Mike: Yeah, I'm uncomfortable now.

J Ryan: Thanks for that. Unshaven. I need a haircut, but I'll take it.

Darin: Looks sexy as hell.

J Ryan: yeah, thanks for having me, guys. I'm really excited.

Darin: Yes.

J Ryan: I've been wanting to do this for a while. Thanks for fitting me in.

Darin: Awesome.

Mike: So my first question is, like, what has gone wrong in your career that you're now talking to us?

J Ryan: I mean. Ah, the real answer to that is very sad. So I probably won't answer.

Darin: One of these things about Jay is, on his set, okay. Jay has Letterman's microphone, David Letterman's microphone m. And on his set, he has David Letterman's desk and David Letterman's chairs that the guests set in. And you gotta tell me. I know, I know you've told this story on other podcasts before, but for the viewers of irritable dad syndrome and the listeners, how did you get Letterman's microphone?

J Ryan: Oh, no, you're starting there. My God. Yeah, this is our little late night play set where we do our little Internet show that you can watch, on YouTube. The microphone. This one right here?

Darin: That's the one, yeah.

J Ryan: I mean, what do you want to know? I stole it. You know that I stole it when I was a kid.

Darin: Okay, I know, but. But the fans of irritable dad syndrome have never heard this story.

J Ryan: All right, well, I mean, it's very long to tell, so you tell me how much you need me to tell.

Darin: Give me the.

J Ryan: I did. I got led into the theater one night when I was a kid. how old? Well, I say a kid. I was 18, but I was underdeveloped. I felt, I was looking back, I was probably a little younger because I didn't necessarily make the best decisions that night. Not any that I would stand by as an adult, so to speak.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: but yeah, no, I got let into the Ed Sullivan theater, overnight, one night in 1996. It happened to be the night that they were changing the set over. I don't know if people remember that or not, but it's when, the set went from this desk and chairs, the bridge, the, buildings in the back, to, the bridges that carried on till the end. This was the night I saw the bridges before anybody else. But yeah, that night a lot. The story is very long to tell, but the end result is that I walked out of the theater with the microphone.

Darin: So you walked into the theater and. Cause from what I've heard, there was like, construction going on. The construction workers see this guy.

Darin: They don't think anything about it, and they just.

J Ryan: So, okay, I thought everything you're saying is what I thought would happen. I thought, oh, there'll be construction. So. Okay, so the backstory is, I was obsessed, like a lot of people. Of my generation, I was obsessed with Letterman as a kid, positive or negative. I also had access because I grew up in the same town where Letterman lived. So, we would see him all the time, like at the grocery store or driving around or jogging at the high school track. And when he would talk on the show about his drive home and the guy at the gas station or the guy at the grocery store or whatever, like, we all knew those guys. So everybody in our area had this kind of weird ownership of Dave. And ask him, I think he ended up even moving out of the area because I think everybody kind of did treat him as a public utility. so I grew up just totally obsessed. And I also grew up an art geek. And I had a little show like this, when I was in high school. And I bought tiny office depot, furniture for the talk show. But I found an actual antique microphone and I had it chromed to look like Dave's. And I had a stand built that was different by a welding company because I drew all the pictures of how it should look and they made that one. And I went, into this stuff and the art of it all and whatever. And so this stateful night in 1996, it was a Monday night, it was supposed to be the reveal of the new set. They'd been promoing this for weeks. They did the show in the lobby for a week or a couple of days the week before and stuff. I mean, it was all they talked about. The news ends that night and I've got my, the crux of this story of why I wasn't really in the best head space also was two weeks earlier, my dad had passed away, and, my parents were divorced. So like, I'm living in this house in the woods kind of situation. I have my buddy living with me. He's, a great friend, but maybe not the best influence in the world. And we're sitting there, I'm so excited to watch the new set on Letterman. And 1135 rolls around and it's a repeat with the old set. And I was like, I don't get it, I don't know. But I was wicked disappointed. And I just told him that I'm going to go for a drive. My dad had just died. I just bought this used BMW because again, kid, not in the best head space. And I took a drive and I needed gas, so I ended up and my town was dry and got down at 08:00 at night. And I went to the next town and when I was filling up the gas across the street was the highway signed to New York City. And I was like, wow, you know, I wonder why there was a repeat. I bet they were still working. Maybe they ran behind, blah, blah, blah, blah. I built up all this stuff in my head. So when the tank was full, I got back in the car, and I drove to New York City. That's how it happened. That's how it happened. Like, none of it was premeditated. None of it was thought out. Cause none of it would have worked out the way it did. Okay, so I drive down to the city. It's 45 minutes. No big deal. No traffic at all. Cause it's after midnight. And, I pull underneath the theater. Everything's dark. I pull around the side. These big dumpsters are there. And, I don't remember if I saw the dumpsters on the show or if I just knew there would be dumpsters. And I thought, well, if I can't get let in from the workers, maybe I can at least dumpster dive. Sort of like what everybody else did when day went off the air. so I parked my little E 30 BMW right on the curb by the, like, where the theater doors are, where it lets out, and where the dumpsters were. Right in front of the dumpsters. It is so quiet. Like, there are no construction workers. There is nothing going on. You could hear crickets on 53rd street. It was really, really eerily quiet for New York City. And I was like, well, that plan a is shot to hell, but maybe I'll just, you know, take a peek over the side and see if, you know, there's a building or something I can, you know, something. Some kind of souvenir. And as I was about to hike myself up onto this dumpster, I heard a vacuum. Swear to God, that's how quiet it was. I heard a vacuum turn on, and I. And it was over by the door of the. What ended up being the stage door of the insolvent theater. I knocked on the door. Nothing can. I still heard the vacuuming. And so I knocked just a little bit louder. Not pounding, but, like, a little bit louder. And the door opened, and it was a guy with a vacuum vacuuming a room that was the size of this desk. I mean, it was like, just. I now know it as the vestibule outside the stage entrance to the theater. But in 1996, I hadn't been there yet, so. And anyway, I just literally walked right past the guy, and I. And there was nothing in that room but another door. So I walked. I just opened that door as if I knew where I was going. And on the other side of that door, I was on the stage of the Ed Sullivan theater, right where the guests walk out, and I could see the new desk and chairs. And I'm standing on the new tiled floor, and I'm seeing all these bridges, and there is no one in sight. There was a guy vacuuming the vestibule, and there were a couple people in the audience, you know, in the seats vacuuming out there as well. Just cleaning crew. No construction, no CB's crew, nothing. And I just kind of, instead of, like, ooh, ah, ah. I just kind of pretended to, like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. And I went over to the. I kind of was out of sight for a little bit backstage while I just was, like, getting my breath, like, is this really happening? Because it was sort of like, I don't know, a childhood fantasy I never knew I had. I would never think to, like, sneeze. Like, how do I hide in here after the show and be here overnight? I never thought about that.

Darin: Just sleep under the seat. Yeah.

J Ryan: You know what I'm saying? Like, I know exactly like that. Where the kids stay in the mall overnight or something and sneak in or whatever. So, you know, or like a school prank maybe. I don't know.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: one by one, those guys left. And I remember I pretended I was tuning the drums, and I pretended I was doing Paul's music, like, rearranging the stuff and tuning the piano. And they left over here. No, I was like, you know, because I really knew how to play the drums really well and the piano. So I'm sort of, like, doing things that I. That would be real, that nobody would ever question. What are you doing? I'm tuning these drums. Leave me the alone. Is that my first duck quack of the episode?

Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

J Ryan: Thank you.

Darin: It's fine.

J Ryan: Thank you very much. So, less than 15 minutes, and those guys, one by one, left the building, and they left me in the Ed, Sullivan theater alone. And I explored every freaking inch of it because I could. I explored every catwalk and up and down the spiral staircase and up behind the balcony where they cut off, where the original old Beatles balcony, what Colbert is exposed now, but it used to be all covered. Like, I was up there.

Mike: Oh, wow.

J Ryan: Everywhere. Literally every square inch of this theater before. Like, there wasn't anywhere else I could go. And then I found a staircase that went down, and then I was under the theater, and then I found all these tunnels that went underneath the Ed Sullivan theater and connected to other buildings, like through foundations and stuff. Well, now I know it to be the Stephen Colbert secret hallway. You know, take the freight elevator to the basement and, you know, that whole thing.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: but I didn't know any of that then. Yeah, it was pretty wild. And then eventually I found a really dark hallway. I think just the lights were off. I don't think it should have been so scary because it was carpeted and it was fine, regular, but whatever. It was really dark and very, very long. It basically paralleled 53rd street from the Ed Sullivan theater to the Ed Sullivan theater office building. Does that make sense?

Darin: Yeah.

Mike: Oh, yeah.

J Ryan: They're two different buildings. I don't know if people really realize that they're not necessarily connected. And anyway, I found myself over by the control room, and I went in there, and remember, I was obsessed with this microphone. And the one thing that wasn't in the theater was the microphone. New desk, new chairs, and no microphone on the desk. And then down in this room, down off the control room, there was the mic. I just saw it. I just saw it on a countertop underneath a cabinet, just sitting there. And it was beat to hell. And I go, like, as I got, closer, I was like, well, that's not it, but maybe it's the backup. And before I even knew it, I just took it apart and put it in my pockets. And then I cash. I'd already explored the whole joint. I casually walked out. Basically the route I took in and left the unsolvan theater.

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: And I am, not proud of that story, but that's 100% what I did.

Mike: If there's one thing I don't want to criticize, but I would say, I mean, one additional step I would have taken would be when I saw the microphone before I moved it, I would have a bag of sand with the similar weight, and I would.

Darin: Indiana Jones. Yeah.

Mike: That. kids, as you're listening to this, Miles is one of our listeners. This story proves that breaking and entering can be fun.

Darin: Yes.

Mike: And excited and crying. If you're gonna do it, explore the.

J Ryan: Did I enter? I knocked, and they opened the door.

Darin: See, that's true. You're right. You knocked on the door. They let you in. Yes.

Mike: True.

J Ryan: Now, larceny. Oh, yeah, I definitely took. That's quack, quack. Sorry about that.

Darin: Yep.

J Ryan: Anyway, yeah, so that's what happened. And, then. So I put the piece, I drove her around the corner, my heart beating like absolute nuts, like, absolutely crazy the whole way, walking through the theater, it really seemed like a good idea, because, like, nobody would have probably believed this story if I didn't have such a momentous momento, right?

Mike: Yeah.

J Ryan: Like a monumental thing. So quackfest in here, because everything was.

Mike: Explainable until you take the microphone. Up until that point, you know, I was just walking down the street. I heard vacuuming. I thought, someone may be in danger. I knocked on the door. this strange man, let me in. I thought he was a plant from the terrorists. I knew that he meant m. I've seen die hard. I know they put a guy out in front.

Darin: That's why I was there. Your honor.

Mike: I went through and I was looking for the missing children, all the way up until I saw this microphone. And then the story just falls apart.

Darin: Yeah.

Mike: That's the point where an actual crime is committed.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: So, I can't then do you know. I mean. Darren, do you know how the. Oh, you do?

Darin: Okay, I do. But I want my living listeners to hear part b, because this is the part that really pisses me off. And by the way, I'm just going to say, I'm not judging. I would have done every single thing that you did. I would done that today. there would have been. No, I was 18. I was young. I was in a different head.

J Ryan: No, I wouldn't. I'm not proud of it.

Darin: I would have done every single thing step by step. Absolutely. And I'm just pissed that you did it before I did, because I would have done it.

Mike: Yeah. The next part of this story is called additional charges. Go ahead.

Darin: Go ahead.

J Ryan: Well, I mean, the next part of the story is called perspective, for sure. So, anyway, so then, the whole way walking out, I thought, oh, this is neat, and this is great. And I'm so excited and my heart's beating. And the moment the metal door shut behind me and there is no way for me to go back in, the regret and the remorse hit, like, immediately or something. Some kind of. The feelings hit for real.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: And that's. That is actually, I think, more when my heart started pounding, because, like, I knew I had committed to something at that point. So I. And I literally just got in the car without even looking up at what are probably cameras on the street. And I just got in my car and I. And I drove around the corner, and I parked, on the. Where it turns into the west side highway. And I just sat there for a second, and the pieces are already in the side, but I put them together, I put the map light on, and I. And I put the microphone together, and it's now sitting on my seat. M as itself. in my mind at that age, it was like a holy object, you know? And it was like, I think the gravity was setting in. And then what was the quickest, drive in was like a. Took forever for me to drive home because my head was all over the place. Anyway, I woke my friend up who was living with me, and I go, And he's like, I know you're obsessed with it. He had to work in the morning at the local grocery store where letterman shops. And he's like, I know you're obsessed with that thing. Like, I got to work in 3 hours. What are you doing? It's past two at this point, right? I've driven in the city. I've been in the theater an hour or two. I'm driving home, and I go, no, no, no. And I'm. And I run to the other room of the house, like, several rooms away on these freshly redone hardwood floors, and I slide back over into his room now, holding letterman's microphone and my old one from my high school show. And I was like this, holding both. And he just sat up wide awake, goes, holy jeez. Tell me everything.

Mike: So you made him an accessory after the fact at this point, yes, Brian.

J Ryan: Yeah. Just by telling him? I guess so, yeah. Worse. So I'm, glad I set him up as the loyal friend earlier, because, you know, so he's totally in. He can't believe it. And he's like, if you didn't have it, I wouldn't believe you. That story is amazing. And I drew him what the new set looks like. So when it came on, you know, the next day, like, he'd see that it was all real, obviously. And, the next night, letterman comes on, and there's a lot of fanfare. And it is the new set, and everything is exactly what I said it was, obviously. Cause I was just there, and, Martha Stewart was there to drive in the final nail kind of thing, and it was nothing but fanfare. And when Dave finally sits at the.

Darin: Desk, I remember this episode. I remember when he said this.

J Ryan: I've noticed two problems with the new set. What? Well, one, this microphone is higher than it needs to be. Now. What's that? Well, it's because the other microphone, the one that's been on the desk for two and a half years here and 13 and a half years at NBC last night. That was stolen. You're kidding. That was stolen. So. So we had to replace it with this other, new. And it occurs to me that we stole that microphone from NBC.

Mike: So.

J Ryan: Yeah. And he didn't say much about it, other than you could tell that he was probably genuinely perturbed. And I think they kind of turned it into a joke. And he goes, ah, but we stole it from NBC, so what are you gonna do? Something like that? And then the other thing was about the window. They took the window out, so there was no crash, sound effect anymore.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: But throughout the rest of the week, there were comedy bits written in. They had Dana Carvey come in and steal a piece of the new set to take to his talk show. They had a kid, probably a young writer or maybe an actor, come sort of look like me even in kind of the clothes I was in, as the new set club, the fan club president or something, where he, like, made the set out of popsicle sticks, and then he wouldn't leave. They wrote all these comedy segments in. But more than that, what was kind of, like, undeniable was there seemed to be a genuine discomfort from Dave at the desk. Like, he wouldn't really sit at the desk. He'd be standing around the theater in different places when he would announce information almost more Ed Sullivan y, like, not how we know him, or even sitting on front of the desk to talk to the camera instead of sitting in the chair. It was very strange.

Darin: Right?

J Ryan: So my buddy and I. Oh, well, first of all, when he talks about the microphone being stolen, I sunk in the couch like a pile of crap. I felt like how I had behaved. And so that was kind of apropos. But, my buddy, of course, jumps not in the best light. Buddy, I don't know what you're. We weren't really jiving on that one. but. So he and I hashed this idea over the week of what should we do? How do we remedy the situation? We have to do something. Cause now, here I have two microphones, and that's ridiculous, and that's not right. And, like, everything about it's wrong. So how do I do I give. How do I give his back? Well, I don't really want to do that. Of course. I'd rather keep his, you know, if I can. But I think, truly, it was. I was afraid. I really. My whole life at that young age, I was convinced that I was gonna work for Dave or at Dave or whatever.

Darin: Sure.

J Ryan: And I just think that I was maybe ironically afraid that what I had done would get in the way. So I didn't want that to come out. I don't know what the hell I was thinking at that age. I wasn't thinking right, you know?

Darin: Gosh, should we hire the guy from MIT or the kid who stole the microphone? I don't know.

J Ryan: Well, I mean, considering how the story goes, it could still go either way. This ridiculous. I can't remember if it was him or me. I'd love to say it was him, but it might have been me. this most preposterous scenario gets posed of, well, what if you return? not return, but what if you donate your microphone, the one I made for the high school show to look like Letterman's? What if I donated that somehow to the show, you know, because it's closer to his than the replacement the show had made? I swear to God. Over the course of a couple days, this began to make sense.

Mike: Sure.

J Ryan: This, like, became a fully formulated plan, over three days. I'm sweating just thinking about it. So then say we're going to do that. How do we do it? Do I mail it to the show? Do I bring it to the show? Do I show up? Like, do I sneak back in the. What do we do?

Darin: Sneak back in.

J Ryan: This is where I know that it was my idea. I said, no. The only way I know I have access is if I go to his house.

Mike: Okay?

Darin: His house.

J Ryan: Yeah. My mom didn't have many boundaries when I grew up, and I feel like this perhaps, perhaps could have come from that. But we decide that Saturday is going to be the day that I'm going to try to see if Dave's home. And I'm going to go ring the bell and whatever. And I know where he lives, because like I said, it's the town, and everybody in town knew where he lived. Police were there all the time.

Darin: That's right.

J Ryan: So I get my microphone and I get my story, which isn't even a story. It's just like, I'm just gonna tell them that I want to donate. I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do. but I put it in the car, and I go. And it's probably like a five or ten minute drive normally. And I drove around, took about 20 minutes, and, I couldn't figure out what I was going to say in the box. You know, it's not like you ring the front doorbell. I mean, there's a gate in a box, and, like, you have to. How am I going to get through that? You know, it's not like the playboy mansion. It's just a house that you could see from the road, right? But I can't just hop the fence with my microphone and, hey, Dave, what's going on? You know, so. And I'm really struggling with what I'm going to say because shy of just, hey, Dave, I've got this microphone for you. I don't think he's going to be interested.

Darin: I don't think so.

J Ryan: Do you know what I mean? Like, hey, I want a blah, blah, blah. Yeah, send it to the show, kid. You know you're not coming into my yard, right? So I come around the corner, can't get any. Can't delay the trip any longer. I come around the corner, I figure I'm just gonna wing it. And I pull into the driveway, and I. When I get to the little box, I look in front of me, and the gates open. And I don't mean like, oh, it just like it's about to close because he just went up, and I'll tailgate in. I mean, it's just open. I've driven past that house 100 times. I've never noticed the gate being open. Maybe it's possible it was, but I really, really doubt it. And so I don't stop at the call box. I just keep driving. And how he has it. He doesn't live there anymore, so I don't mind talking. How it was set up at the time was this beautiful old farmhouse that the driveway went into the backyard. So it's sort of like at one point it went in the front yard, probably as a loop, and there was a front door. And that's all easy, but that's not used anymore because of how Mister Letterman lives his life. So the driveway goes in the background, and I can't see what happens. So I drive up and over the hill, and I'm now definitely past the gate, and I get into the backyard where there's a turnaround, and I see why the gate was open. He was having his pool filled. I can't. That happens but once a year, right?

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: I never had a swimming pool growing up, but, like, I think that's a once a year thing. And it was springtime. It was the end of the long winter. So now I'm in the backyard, the gates open. Now it's like, oh, there's workers here. I'm m not the only one.

Mike: Now you can steal a piece of the pool.

Darin: You could steal the diving board.

J Ryan: A handful of gravel.

Darin: Yes. Sorry, of David Letterman Gravel.

Mike: That's right.

J Ryan: So I look around, and there's no, like, the front door is in the, in the front. Like, I'd have to go, this doesn't make sense. I mean, that's where the front door is. Correct. But. But he doesn't use that. Does that make sense? That's not configured for use with his setup.

Darin: Right?

J Ryan: Nearest I can tell, other than going into his garage, where I can see a red Ferrari poking out and then just helping myself in that way. The only other thing that's accessible I see, and it's actually closer to me, is a screen porch. And I think to myself, well, our house has a screen porch. So I know that inside the screen porch is another door that goes in the house. So if he's not. So I take a couple deep breaths, because now you want to talk about a heart pounding. I've got my crappy high school mic and my crappy story. And, so now I'm walking on the gravel driveway, and I go up the three steps, and I knock on the wooden door to the screen porch. No answer, of course, because as I can see in, there's no one in there. Open it. Now I'm inside the screen porch. Now I'm knocking on the plate glass window, of his house, of the great room to his house. Like, I could see the living room. I could see the tv. I could see the dining room table. I can see the stairs that go upstairs. I could see probably into the, like, what's probably the kitchen. And, he probably has a big.

Darin: Thing of laundry there. And he's be folded.

J Ryan: So I knocked on the plate glass window, and, a couple seconds later, I see Dave come into view. And he sees that I'm not the pool man. And I'm standing there just like a kid who loves Letterman, like, t shirt tucked into his categories, wearing his love first, holding this old fashioned microphone. And I'm a very young and immature 18 years old. And I say to. He goes, yeah. He comes out. He goes, yeah, what can I do for you? Opens the door a little bit. Just a little, and I say, mister Letterman, my name is. I did the show down at the high school down the street. Literally down the street. they used to send tapes all the time. I don't know if you have any idea who I am or not, but we're not doing the show anymore. Anyway, I want to give this mic to you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's standing on the porch with me now. We're no longer in between the plate glass. and, he's like, well, I can't accept this. No, no, no. You're like, okay, but I can't take this. And I said, no, it's not yours, but it's really close to yours, whatever. And he took it in his hand at that point, which I thought, like, holy crap, I might have him. And he turned it around, and he looked at the part that I had made. Which just basically, it was basically to lower the mic, how you would know it versus upright like a Larry king. And he goes, yeah, it is. It's really close, actually. And at that point, he didn't say anything for a few seconds while he went back and forth between looking me in the eyes and looking at the microphone. To me, it felt like a minute and a half. It was probably 10 seconds. But I swear to God, I mean, like, I'm sweating now. It's. I feel like I'm standing there on the porch, and he looked back at me, he's dead in the eyes. And he goes, okay, all right. I, will accept this. I will accept this on one condition. I got to get something for you. You wait right there. Don't go anywhere. I'm going to get something for you. And he takes my microphone, and he takes it inside, and he puts it on the dining room table, and he goes up the stairs, and he goes out of view. And I think to myself, he's calling the new Canaan police department 100%. And I can't wait. Cause then somehow it'll come out. Well, hey, look, we know it was you. You're the one from the security footage. You're even dressed the same, like you drove the same car. What the hell's the matter with you?

Darin: Right?

J Ryan: but, he came down. I see him coming down the stairs, after a minute or two, and I see him unwrapping something, and I know exactly what it is because it's the only other thing I wanted as much as that microphone. And he was unwrapping a late show crew jacket for me.

Mike: Oh, wow.

J Ryan: And he comes out to the porch now, and it's unwrapped out of the plastic, and it's brand new. And he goes, I wear an xl, and you and I are about the same size, so this ought to work for you. And he had me put it on there on the porch and made sure, and he sized me up, and he goes, all right, there you go. And I go, all right.

Darin: Oh, well, there I go.

J Ryan: And I took my jacket, and I went away without my microphone, and I waved goodbye to him. And he went back in the porch. I walked to my car, and I drove around the thing, and I drove out. The gate was still open. And I drove to my friend to, my house, where my friend was wearing my new jacket.

Darin: Oh, my God.

J Ryan: And I told him the story, and he could not believe it for the same reason that why would anybody? And that. So that was set. Stole it on Tuesday night. No, no. Stole it on Monday night when there was no show. He talks about it Tuesday night. There's Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. Saturday is the pool day now. All day Sunday. We're waiting for Monday, Monday night. Finally. Finally. Longest two days of my entire life. Yeah, he doesn't mention it, but from that day on, for the next decade, my thing that I gave him on his porch was sitting on the late show desk.

Darin: No way.

Mike: That's awesome.

J Ryan: That is 100%. Yeah, 100%.

Darin: Honestly, that's one of the greatest stories I've ever heard. I love that story.

Mike: That's really cool.

Darin: That's. Again, I would have done exactly everything that you did. I totally.

J Ryan: It's all wrong. I made all of the wrong decisions, and I got all the little prizes along the way, and it really was fundamentally very, very the wrong messaging.

Dave: You're listening to irritable dad syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

J Ryan: Oh, that's exciting. I'm gonna drop my pants and fire a rocket.

Darin: I was at the Ed Sullivan theater when Rupert g had his retirement party. And we weren't supposed to go into the theater. We were all supposed to stay outside in the lobby. And they had said, yeah, nobody goes into the theater. Nobody's supposed to go into the theater. Nobody is supposed to go into the theater. And so I was like, I wonder if there's anything in the theater? And I popped open the door and looked, and it was empty. And my wife Libby is with me, and I said, hey, let's go. I want to see.

Mike: Let's go in the theater.

Darin: Let's go in the theater. I'm not supposed to go in the theater, but let's go. I walked in, and I sat in the seat where I was sitting when I saw the show in 96. And then, you know, I put my hand on the stage, and we were sitting there looking. I looked behind me, and all these writers and, crew, other crew members were. Had walked in. They all followed me in there.

J Ryan: Sure.

Darin: And they're all like, this is. I did. I totally broke the floodgates, so we weren't supposed to do that. I ruined that for everybody. I don't know if anybody got in trouble. I don't think we did. But this is what I stole. So, Matt Roberts wrote this song for Rupert, and Paul had all the lyrics on his little keyboard, you know, Rupert, it'll never be the same again. Hey, baby. You know, Rupert G. It was a great song. Yeah, it was a fantastic song.

J Ryan: So maybe it may be a verse or two too long, but very, very cool song.

Darin: I thought it had choreography, it had confetti, had everything. They were telling everybody, we got to go. Everybody's got to go. Everybody. We've got to leave. And we're walking around kicking you out of the theater. Yeah, they're kicking it. Everybody's got to get out of the Ed Sullivan completely. They're. They're shutting it down. So I'm walking around looking at things for the very last time, because I'll probably never be at the Ed Sullivan Theater again. And it's me, Libby, and Don Geller is next to me, and, like, two other people, and I walk behind the keyboard, and. And there's the lyrics to this song. And I looked at it, I grabbed it. It's like I stole a sheet of paper. But, you know, Paul had wrote little markings on it. This is where we do this, and this is gonna be a scene. Yeah.

J Ryan: Plus, I remember that story. You were grateful to be there. That was so cool that you got to experience all that. It was. It was a, not even a mini. It was a legitimate late show reunion.

Darin: It was the thrill of my life. Honest to God. I met so many writers, so many producers. It was amazing. It was absolutely amazing.

J Ryan: Oh, that's awesome.

Darin: How did you get his desk and his chairs?

J Ryan: The universe working in mysterious ways, to be honest with you. I mentioned my wife has Ms. In 2015 or 16, she started to get really sick where she couldn't work anymore. We were trying to figure out what we were going to do and stuff. When life gets dark and everything implodes, you don't know what you're going to do. And you look at all this different stuff and this microphone thing. This isn't something I've been carrying around in my frontal lobe for, like, 30 years. It was, like, locked away from a dark time when my dad died, and there was a lot of family drama, and I did this thing. It was just all sort of tied in a knot, like Christmas vacation and thrown in the garage to be dealt with another day and sort of like when our life imploded and everything went to hell. That was the first time I ever sort of acknowledged and remembered and publicly told my wife this story. And she's like, you did what? I told her the whole story. And then we found the clips on YouTube of Dave talking about it whenever she goes, this is a hell of a story and you need to tell this story and you need to get that back to him if he wants it and blah, blah, blah. And I was like, you're right, you're right. It's just always been on my shelf. I don't know what to do. I didn't know what to do then, I don't know what to do now.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: And so, it was sort of that realization of we need to figure out a way to get to Dave to tell him this story and apologize and, you know, offer it back if he wants it, whatever. And we had this, we came up with this idea, we partnered with a production company, we were going to do it and I don't remember why it didn't happen, come to think of it, because it sounds like a great idea, but we were going to, give Dave an award or something. We were going to figure out some way to get him to this thing at my high school where we were going to redo, I don't remember where it was going to be. Maybe it was going to be in New York City, whatever the heck. We needed to recreate the little home base set with the desk and chairs. And we knew the final stuff was at Ball State because that's where like the Letterman archive is or whatever, right? But we found out that this stuff from the early CB's years, the Drew Barrymore stuff, where Bill Murray spray painted Dave across the front, we found out that that was still around and it was in New York City, in queens, at a museum. And it wasn't being displayed, but it was in their archives, sort of like the Ark of the Covenant, it was just in their warehouse somewhere. And we reached out to them to see if we could either rent it for this event that we were going to do with David Letterman, or if we could have access to it or research it to get some rough measurements so that we could have it recreated for this thing that we were going to do, with David Letterman. And the museum was so nice about it, they were willing to do kind of anything, but then the whole thing, the whole project went away. I never contacted them again. She reached out at one point and I said, you know what, that kind of went away, but if it comes back, I'll hit you up, you know. Thank you so much and nothing. It never came back, and I never thought about it again. So now we decided to tell this story till I get an email is about a year. And this email is from the same lady, and she says, hey, just curious if there's been any further interest in the Letterman assets, because we're looking to make some room and we need to find a new home for them.

Mike: Oh, wow.

Darin: Are you kidding me?

J Ryan: Nope. Like, I didn't. You know, you hear the James commissar stories where he had to call and pester people for years, sometimes decades, you know, to get the cheers bar. And this was like, I did reach out one time, and we corresponded a couple times. Well, it looked like it was going to happen, and then it went away. And now here we are, six months or close to a year later, and she's like, hey, do you want this stuff?

Darin: And no offense, but you're a nobody. I mean, yeah, well, I mean, kind of.

J Ryan: I mean, they knew that because I was reaching out in the first place, that we knew the right people and blah, blah, blah. What would your intentions be? And we were still developing a show at that point. I mean, it was all above board, but she knew we weren't, I think just because of how we got to her in the first place. Right, but, yeah, you're right. Cause, like, anybody could call and be like, well, I want that for my basement or my dining room. Yeah, thank God. So that's what it was. It was literally that simple. I said, well, what do we need to do? Like, make a donation or whatever? And she goes, oh, no, no, no, not like that. Like, the pieces have already been de accessioned. They're just still sitting on our property, and we'd like them to move. And I was like, so pick them up. She's like, yeah, pick them up. She goes, what are you going to give? We had to do the paperwork back and forth of, like, what your intended use will be and whatever. And I think I just said, talk show or podcast or something like that. We're going to put them back in the use and whatever. And we had a, legitimate company go down to queens and pick them up and pack them up and ship them out here. We did a desk and chairs across America tour on our little podcast while we followed the moving truck as it traversed the USA.

Mike: That's awesome.

Darin: That is so cool.

J Ryan: So then the stuff arrived, and it was really, really crazy, and it was really, really nuts. And we brought him into our dining room where we thought it would fit. But if you recall this stuff was all made for the Ed Sullivan theater stage. And even though the chairs are not that big, the desk is pretty big. Everything's pretty big. Everything's pretty big. So it didn't really fit in here. And it certainly didn't look right. It really looked like the Kramer's mur Griffin apartment. Like, I mean, it's obviously still that, but, like, at least it's a broadcast facility now. It really didn't look right. So we had to kind of both light and then build the scenery around the stuff to look right.

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: And it's all forced perspective. I mean, I'm sitting in a tiny room, but it just looks big on camera.

Darin: Well, this is how dumb I am, and I'm pretty dumb. And I've never claimed to be anything, anything more than this. The first time I watched late night playset, you know, I had heard through Mike Chisholm, and by the way, I think there's something wrong with him. But that's another story for another podcast.

J Ryan: Undeniable. Undeniable.

Darin: He's a great guy. He's a good friend. I'm watching, and you're talking to the guy on camera two, and you're talking to somebody, and you're talking to all these people. And there's three or four camera angles.

J Ryan: Heat on five, hank on four, wheel on three.

Darin: And, I remember because you start in one location, then you go to your open, then you move over to your desk, and it's a different camera shot. And I'm like, how many people does he have doing this thing? And then I reached out to Mike Chisholm. He's like, it's just Jay. Yeah, it's, it's just you.

J Ryan: It's so like, well, who's, I mean, these are, you can see.

Darin: I was like, who is Hank? Who is, what? The people who don't.

J Ryan: I didn't make it up. We use, we use iPhones for our show. Those are the cameras. So whenever somebody donates their old iPhone for the show, they are called the camera guy. So, like, will give us this iPhone. Hank gave us that one. That's where it came from. It's just a little gag, but,

Darin: I thought that you had this whole big ass crew.

J Ryan: I know.

Darin: And then when I found out it was just you, I'm like, son of a bitch. That is.

J Ryan: How disappointing.

Darin: Oh, no. I was mind was blown.

Dave: This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by whompers all beef footlong hot dogs. Hi, I'm Dave lay. And I love everything about whompers, from the intoxicating aroma to the robust flavor in every bite. Gosh, even holding one in your hand. Hand makes you thankful that the good lord invented hot dogs. Right now, buy a jumbo pack of whompers, and they'll throw in a free package of new whompers bacon. Whompers are made with 100% pure beef with no fillers or preservatives. Get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your hot dog isn't a foot long, they'll give you your money back, guaranteed. Whompers the hot dog everyone's talking about. Now back to the show.

Darin: Now, how many episodes have you done of the, cars and comedy or late night play set?

J Ryan: Late late night playset. But the theme is cars and comedy. 581. But they're not all the same. They started, you know, it was life with the Ryans in the beginning. We kind of just changed the name throughout. Seemed like every year there was a different growth phase, and we would change the name and pivot. Even though the content never changed. It was always cars, comedy, and life stuff.

Darin: Yeah, I remember I was just mesmerized. You had Rainn Wilson on the show. Great episode.

J Ryan: He was great. Was he good?

Darin: He was really, really good. And then you keep.

J Ryan: The coolest thing about that was I didn't know him for what he's most famous for. So that was kind of cool to have that kind of weird dichotomy.

Darin: So, Mike Jay, have, you still never seen an episode of the office?

J Ryan: Basically, I watched after he was here, the first couple, and I couldn't rain Wilson.

Mike: I thought you said Ray Wilson.

Darin: No rain. Okay, Dwight.

Mike: I'm good. Yeah, Dwight.

Darin: Yeah. So he has rain Wilson on his podcast and reached out earlier that day. Hey, does anybody have any questions for rain? And I said, yeah, are Jim and Pam on their anniversary or whatever? And he said, who's, Jim and Pam? What do you mean, who's Jim and Pam? That was cool. And who else have you had on the show?

J Ryan: I mean, 581 guests. I don't know. And I guess they didn't all have guests, but, I mean, there's probably 500 guests. I don't know. You know, I kind of. We've had some incredible car guests, but my memory seems to lock on to the comedic guests. So, like, I get excited about all of the people I used to watch on television when I was a kid. It was like, it was our mission to get as many of those people here as possible. So from Carol Leifer and Paul Provenza, and you know, Adam Ferrara, so many, of the old greats that used to be on Carson that I'm not thinking of right now.

Darin: That's okay.

J Ryan: I mean, Leno. Jay Leno, obviously. That was a weird one, though.

Darin: Well, I was gonna say, you keep posting pictures of you guys and Jay Leno. I'm like, how well do you know big jaw Leno?

J Ryan: I mean, enough that we text back and forth sometimes. I mean, his shop is right down the street, and we go to the same places, and we're in the same circle. So, like, even though I'm such a hardcore Dave guy, m I was. I'm still conflicted whenever I'm around Dave people, because I'm like, I don't want you to think, like, I love Jay. It's just he's really a nice guy around us, and because they all think, well, you're under the spell, you stupid sucker. And, you know, I don't know. It's complicated because he's been very, very nice to us.

Darin: I've heard from every person I know who's met him that he was, nice. I had an opportunity years ago when I worked at, but I don't think.

J Ryan: It'S ever questioned about whether or not he's nice.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: So I don't know that one thing has to do with the other.

Darin: Yeah. I had an opportunity to do a, promo shoot with him when I worked at the NBC affiliate here in Cincinnati, and I wasn't able to do it. So it's like, yeah, that was my shot of meeting j big jaw Leno, and I passed on it.

J Ryan: I was thinking to myself, I was building up a whole different narrative. Why? Like, oh, you were so smart. You claimed you were sick that day or whatever to avoid being in the picture of Jaden as a Letterman fan. Do you know the story with Howard? YJ was even a guest on our show. No, I mean, we've known him for years. I mean, Nicole's been to Afghanistan with him for a USO tour, for the Today show with Al Roker dozens of times for her, probably hundreds of times. did she have guests on the Tonight show where, you know, Jay comes in and they talk to you in the dressing room before and after the show and all that? So, like, we've been around Jay Leno forever. He was never an interest of me to have as a guest here because of the Letterman connection.

Darin: Right, right.

J Ryan: But one day on one of those, like, ask the audience, kind of like, well, what do you want? What kind of segment should we do? What kind of guests? Blah, blah, blah. The number one, by, like, some margin, request, was Jay Leno, because it's all car people, and they love him. They don't give a. About Dave versus Jay or Conan versus Jay. They're not late night people or a lot of times, not even comedy people. so, like, they're just get Jay. He's so nice with his big dog garage and his airport parking. So, it was, like, this thing where it's kind of an interesting episode to watch. Not the jay one, the one where people want Jay. Because you watch me kind of hem and haw where I go, you know, we could get Jay. It's not that we can't get Jay. It's that I didn't really think we should have Jay. But if you all want Jay, like, this show only exists for you. So if you want Jay, I mean, I'll get Jay, but I don't know if we should have Jay. And it was a whole weird thing, and at that point, it was, I guess maybe it might have been during COVID or maybe just after, like, lockdown and stuff, but whatever. We were seeing him every single Sunday for months and months and months, and, we would sit at the same table at the same place, and we would just shoot the. And, you know, watch all the car stuff and whatever. So from the moment that people said, oh, yes, okay, we want Jay Leno, I just asked him that Sunday, and he was like, oh, yeah, absolutely. But I got to do a few of these other ones first. I got to go do Kevin Hart, and I got to do somebody else big. I can't remember. And I was like, it's hilarious. It's hilarious that he's looping us in here with these people.

Mike: That's hilarious.

J Ryan: So I came back on the show, and I told people, I go, well, I asked him, and he said yes, but he's got to do these other ones first. And I figured, all right, we'll just keep this update going. And it only took four weeks between when I asked him the first time and when he showed up was, like, four weeks. Did you ever see that episode, Darren?

Darin: I have not. That happened.

J Ryan: It's weird.

Darin: Well, it happened way before I even knew who you were.

J Ryan: It's a weird episode, man. Cause the first 40 minutes, you know, he's, like, a professional, right? So he's like, well, how long is it gonna take? You know, what are we gonna talk about? Like, all that stuff? And so it was getting around the 40 minutes mark, and everything was very homogenized. I was afraid to go Dave with him because, again, he's a friend that we see every Sunday, and I don't want to embarrass him in front of the car people by, like, whoa, but what about Conan? You did it again. You know what I mean? I didn't want to get into all that because it just felt inappropriate. And it's like, the truth is, this show, the show I would want to do. Like, I would want to hammer on all that stuff. That's all I want to talk about. But he's not here for me. He's here for the audience, and they want to see him as a nice guy and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, they don't want to see him painted in a bad light, nor do I want to paint this nice guy, a guy who's been nice to us in a bad light. So basically, around the 40 minutes mark, I wrap it up. Cause that's kind of, like what we committed to do, right? And then with the 20 minutes of the missus and I that we were going to sandwich it in. It was going to be an hour, and he wasn't ready to go. He's like, oh, well, I mean, is that all you got? And I was like, well, no, I mean, you're Jay Leno. I mean, like, I've got a whole lifetime of information on you. I can. Do you want to just talk? He's like, well, yeah, well, ask me anything. Ask me anything. And so we went another 40 minutes.

Darin: Wow.

J Ryan: And that is a very interesting 40 minutes to me, because the card with the homogenized Jay Leno was put down, and it was literally just me m like, I just, you know, like everybody else. I read the Bill Carter book in, you know, the nineties when it came out after the switch with the Dave versus Jay and all that. And, you know, I read the story of him hiding in the closet, and then I saw the HBO movie where they show Daniel Roebuck hiding in the closet. And I just thought to myself, Rick Ludwin's the executive, right? Okay, well, he and Jay were tight. He's just sitting at the table with Rick Ludwin, being quiet. Like the whole being in a closet was a cover. In my mind. I built that scenario up. during the second 40 minutes, I've got Jay Leno in a chair, and he told me, ask him anything. So I go, did you really hide in the closet? I didn't believe you really ever hid in the closet. And he unpacks the whole thing for us. And he's like, look, it was a couple times. It wasn't just once. It happened a bunch of times. And the phone call in Boca Raton was different. That was another time. And we sort of unpacked the coincidences and all the different times he insists he hid in the closet. The second half is very interesting. I feel like that second half could be packaged into something, but it's a weird episode to me because of the whole, like, there's a pivot point. It starts kind of one way, and then it goes to a much more interesting place.

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: And he was amazing, and I think he would come back if we asked him. In fact, I just talked to his people the other day. They reached out because we've got this newcomb's ranch project plug up in the mountains, and, his people have already reached out to be, a part of it.

Dave: So this portion of irritable dad syndrome was deleted for reasons we can't get into right now. Now we now return to the show already in progress.

J Ryan: How long have you guys been to? 200 episodes. You said 200.

Darin: 206 episodes. Three and a half years of, dad syndrome. Yeah, I know. And it's flown by.

Mike: Yeah. We've taken the first 24 episodes. They're in the vault. They're for good reason. They're horrendous.

Darin: They are.

J Ryan: Oh, that's funny. Yeah, we pulled some of ours off of YouTube, too, just to.

Mike: So the patrons. The patrons still have access? They have access to all of them, but, yeah, the first episode, we still. Every once while I go back and listen to it, just for the hell of it. And, I think the first 15 minutes are just us going back. Where are we on? Are we. Are we packaged this way? We put it out there? Yeah.

J Ryan: I still can't stop with the. You knows, or you know what I mean? Like, I still find that they creep back in. Even. I'll squash them down like whack a mole, and then they'll pull.

Mike: So one of our biggest fans is my wife. And she pointed out to me a couple of weeks ago that I need to shut up. I did. And I said, it's an audio podcast. I'm supposed to talk. She said, you talk too much. You need to. You keep interrupting, Darren. And that annoyed me, because that's the same thing Darren's been saying.

Mike: And then I say, stupid. So we've. We've gotten into a couple of on air fight. I think we just got into one. I embarrassed him that I didn't mean to do that.

Darin: We'll talk about it on the right home.

Mike: We're gonna talk about on the right home. But one time.

Darin: Oh, no.

Mike: Oh, lord.

Darin: We had this. We had these two, two, women from a podcast called textual tension, and they were on the show, and their podcast is all about dirty romance novels.

Mike: The dirty. Yeah.

J Ryan: Ah. Fabio books.

Darin: Exactly. Since I know nothing about romance novels, I was going to read a segment from a David Sedaris book. From the book squirrel seeks chipmunk. This hilarious chapter about a squirrel that fell in love with the chipmunk. And I can't read this because Mike would not shut up. I would forward. Hey, what's the squirrel doing now? Is that. Is it. Did he. Yeah.

Mike: In my defense, I thought I was.

Darin: Hilarious and I was getting so flustered and I couldn't finish. And after the segment was over, I threw a pencil at him. I missed, but I threw a pencil.

Mike: We used to. We used to be Covid distanced down here, and, he flung it across the room. You could have killed me.

Darin: I think I said, Mike.

Mike: Yeah, I think you did. Yeah.

Darin: And that was the only.

J Ryan: I mean, that's on brand, right? That's what people tune in to watch, right?

Mike: Yeah.

Darin: Right.

Mike: So, yeah, it took us a while. I'm sorry to get our timing down to, like, right. Not talk over each other, and we each go off on our tangents.

Darin: That's true.

Mike: for. I'm a huge YouTube fan, and, ah, I started to annoy myself because I kept bringing up YouTube. Ah, for a year. I just called him the band that shall not be.

Darin: I have a friend who won't listen to the podcast because he hates you, too. And that's all you talk about.

Mike: I'm perfectly fine with that.

Darin: Yeah. So, yeah, we did the. We did the Letterman podcast with Mike Chisholm. We did a crossover with the YouTube, David Letterman, Ireland, Disney, plus special, so. Right, right, yeah, we did that. That was.

Mike: Which is one of the most, exciting podcasts you'll ever watch. Your life. We. We streamed us, watching. Yes, the Letterman YouTube interview. And we thought that would be amazing. And it was just five minutes of us going, us. It's like, that's cool. Mystery science theater 3000. It's like, that's what I'm picturing. It's like that if they don't talk and they just use the cameras on them watching the screen.

Darin: Well, we weren't talking because we wanted to hear what they were doing. Yeah.

J Ryan: For me, I find some of those things are almost, like, disrespectful. It's like, well, why aren't we? You think what you have to say is better than Dave and the. And Bono.

Mike: So, like, what are you, like, bars? Yeah. He would try to say something, and then I would mention something. He's a shutdown. I can't hear Dave with Dave.

Darin: Exactly. Whatever Dave was talking, I'd have the hand up, like, no, no, no, not now. Hush, hush it.

J Ryan: So, yeah, I think the reaction videos are fine for, like, replays. I think doing live, it's tough because you're talking over the content. You need to be able to pause the content and stop and.

Mike: Right, yeah, exactly.

J Ryan: Those are tough. That's a hard thing to accomplish production wise.

Darin: Jay, I know this is rough, but I want to talk about Nicole. I've never met her. I've been on. Was lucky enough to be on your show two or three times, and she was just a delight. She's got a smile that can stop traffic. And she was just honest, to God, just a delight. So much fun. I know a little bit about her story. I know she's been sick for quite some time. Tell us how she's doing, how everything's going. How are you doing through this situation?

J Ryan: Everything pretty much sucks right now. That's the truth of it. We met in 2010. She was already experiencing symptoms. Like, right after we met, she started going through the rigmarole of trying to get a diagnosis of what's going on with her, like, dizziness and vision, blurred vision and float ears in her eyes and stuff like that. and that was, basically the end of 2010, I think. She was diagnosed fresh, 2011, I think. And, with Ms, multiple sclerosis. It was kind of like an annoying thing to think about for a little bit. It was just like she had little nuisances that would disrupt some things. She was kind of clumsy, couldn't hold things the way she used to. Also, maybe the most important part of this is that Nicole was a high powered publicist. She did personal pr and, crisis management for huge celebrities. Huge celebrities.

Darin: Now, is that how you guys met?

J Ryan: No, we met on a whim. It's funny because we have been in the same circles, in the same places, same nights, same projects so many times. And we didn't meet until after we. After. Okay, till after we worked on the same tv show and never crossed paths and what show? The Chris rock show.

Darin: The Chris Rock.

J Ryan: everybody hates Chris. Everybody hates Chris. She used to represent Chris rock. I used to, work on that show, production something supervisor, probably. But we never crossed paths, or we did, and it just kind of never clicked. Whatever. And we met years later.

Darin: Wow.

J Ryan: But so she used to represent, like, all sorts of people. Like Rainn Wilson, you mentioned before. I'm looking at the wall over here. the kids from Superbad. She opened that movie, Superbad. She did the world tour with those kids when they were kids. Like bratty kids on the plane. Sean Avery, if you're into hockey. Craig Robinson, you mentioned the office. Dimitri Martin, Serena Williams, John heaters over there. Oh, right, I forgot Sarah Marshall. Okay. so, like, huge, huge stuff. And she was not able to, do that, around 2015, 2016, and life sort of imploded, and, we couldn't figure out what the hell to do.

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: And that's kind of this podcast, I guess, started in like, 17 or something like that.

Darin: Okay.

J Ryan: Yeah, I don't know. life imploded when she couldn't do the things she used to do anymore. it was a nuisance at first, and by 2015 or 16, she couldn't do a lot of stuff. I don't want to bring anybody down here, but, I mean, where we are now with this thing in 2024 is she. She can't walk. She doesn't have use of her hands for the most part. Her left hand a little bit. Swallowing, is an issue. Breathing is an issue. Like surviving the day is an issue. She's in excruciating pain. She smokes and eats a ton of weed. it's legal here. And is on tons of pain medication because she's, on the palliative hospice care, which is not like the end, but it's one step from it. And it's just. It's a very heavy time for us because everything is awful. It's all a struggle. This poor thing can't catch a break. And that's the nature of Ms. Kind of sort of goes one way. It doesn't. I don't. Whatever. I don't want to paint such a negative picture, but it just. It's not the type of thing where we're expecting like a spring back, you know?

Darin: Right.

J Ryan: you pray for a miracle, obviously. But what does that look like? She just springs out of bed tomorrow morning, like, okay, great. That'll be great. Can't wait.

Darin: Well, I mean, I hate that because, you know, in the time that I've known you, which is just for the last couple of years, you know, the two of you together are the chemistry is just insane. And again, her laugh is incredible. And having her on your show, it just added so much to it.

J Ryan: Yeah, she's magic. And she was like that before, too. But I think it's like another level now that she, you know, has a different perspective on life. And I totally agree. if. If it were something that she were able to do currently, we would still be doing it. I think. I, think we're going to do some pop ups here and there because, you know, we're not ready for the playset to go away entirely, but it's time to wind it down, right? So she'll be back in some way. We're just. Every time we try to do something that, you know, energy or whatever shifts and it, like, it becomes non positive, sometimes even getting her in the chair and everything's prepped and the blue card is written and all the stuff the rundowns made and.

J Ryan: You know, we just do it. And I used to beat. I used to beat us up for that, and I'm trying to get better at that. She has grown a lot throughout all of this, and she's getting better at all that. Yeah, I feel like I learned from her these days.

Darin: So you said you're wrapping up the playset. What goals do you have? You know, what's left to do with the playset before you completely wrap it up?

J Ryan: It's interesting. For five years, you know, we told that microphone story for the first time publicly here on the 25th anniversary of the late show, whatever. That was five years ago. And then the 30th was just the other day. So for five years, we've been trying to get Letterman here. he's got one guy. I've been trying to be respectful and approach the guy the right ways, because again, historically, I haven't always done so, like, what? Really? I've got access. Screw that.

Darin: Yeah, yeah.

J Ryan: so I'm trying, you know, I've been really trying to, do this the right way, without, like, calling it every favor or whatever. But, we just did the letter podcast the other day, and I'm definitely, like, in the calling in all favors. We would love to have Dave here. I would love to have the conversation with him. You know, the little kid who was afraid of all of that stuff, you know, is grown up now. I think that we could have an awesome conversation on this thing. the history of broadcasting, cars, racing, I mean, Paul Newman, we both have such mutual respect and direct contact and relationships with, you know, with a lot of the same people. I think that for all the reasons that the second part of the Leno interview was good, I think, me and Dave hour or so. Would be wicked. And not just for my soul to have the yin and yang of the bookmark story of like, sorry, I did that stupid thing when I was a kid because I don't think the adult him gives a crap about it. But I bet he was pretty pissed off then. And I would love to hear that side of things. I would love to hear, you know, but Barbara Gaines has been here.

Darin: If he remembers that far back. I mean, well, I think I thought.

J Ryan: The same thing, but, you know, the microphone was important to him. And then also, I don't know if you forget the kid showing up at your house.

Darin: True.

Mike: Yeah.

J Ryan: It was during the same time when that woman was showing up at his house, you know.

Darin: Oh, oh, yeah.

J Ryan: Yeah. I feel like maybe it gets locked.

Darin: In for some reason. I thought that his stalker, was during the, NBC days, but I guess it was the CB's era.

J Ryan: I don't know, I think there was some crossover. The only reason my family knew where his house was was because my dad had a police scanner. And one day the new Canaan police department channel came on and they go, well, she's back. I made the poltergeist joke earlier. Like, poltergeist. And he's like, oh, son of a gun. And they read the address on the thing and so he drove over to take a look.

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: Because it was so close.

Darin: Yeah, yeah.

J Ryan: I don't know.

Darin: Barbara Gaines follows me on Twitter. Oh, I love it. I had reached out, I think, me.

J Ryan: Too, but I'm not on that.

Darin: Yeah, I reached out to her and invited her and Dave to come on the podcast. And I sweetened the deal with a nice irritable dad syndrome coffee mug. like we gave to shadow Stevens and I dropped Shadow Stevens, his name, like, hey, Shadow Stevens is on the show. Like, oh my God, if shadow was on, then, well, what are we waiting for, right?

J Ryan: All right, stop what you're doing, cuz I'm about to ruin the image and the style that you're used to.

Darin: She said, thank you for the invoice. Yeah, she's very boring.

J Ryan: She responded, that's nice.

Darin: She did respond.

J Ryan: Yeah. When Walter and, Barbara came out here to put the microphone story on tape so that the official letterman people had it for future prosecution, we talked a lot because they were here for a bit and somehow Walter brought up Leno or something. She's like, you had Leno here. And I said, yeah. And she goes, how was that? I go, I don't know. It's weird. And I gave a click notes version of everything I said to you earlier. I was like, you know, the first half, I wasn't really me because that wasn't how I feel. And then I go, but he sort of gave me the permission the second half. And then the second half's kind of cool. Yeah, but she volunteered. She goes, yeah, I feel the same way around Dave. She's like, no matter how prepared you are to do it, when it happens, you're still like, holy, it's Dave. And even I was like that. Like, I see Leno all the time, but it's outside in a parking lot in the sun. When he was here in a studio under lights at my little rinky dink thing, it was like a, it was a, there was a weird, that was a transcendence. It was bizarre.

Darin: Yeah.

J Ryan: I felt like I was watching a video.

Darin: Wild story.

J Ryan: Can you imagine if you actually had Dave there? Like, it's fun to think about, but if you actually did, yeah. What the hell would you say?

Mike: We'd vacuum a little bit, right?

Darin: I've I've got a whole, I think.

J Ryan: That'S the natural reaction.

Darin: By the way, I am convinced that I have a laundry list of questions that would fascinate Dave, and he would love to answer them for me.

J Ryan: Okay, good bits.

Darin: Beyond a shadow of doubt. I've got questions for him that nobody has asked. I was going to say a great story about Walter Kim was that when I went to the Ed Sullivan theater, I walked in and I walked past Bill Delaise. And I was like, oh, my God. Chief of security bill Delais was right there. There wasn't a, hardly anybody else there. But I, found Mike Chisholm. I said, hey, Mike, how's it going? He's like, Darren. And then I hear in the backdrop, like, almost half a room away, Darren's here and is Walter Kim. And he comes over, he says, hey, hey, Darren. He stopped what he was doing and came over to say hi to me.

J Ryan: And I was like, yeah, hi.

Darin: And I thought, that's nice. That was so freaking nice. Because, like, that whole night when I was at the Ed Sullivan Theater with all these late show people, Cathy Maverickakis asked me, when did you work here? I didn't. All night long, I kept thinking, they're gonna make me leave. Someone is gonna tell me that I should not be there. But Walter was the first person who saw me come in and went out of his way to welcome me and say hi, and I thought that was cool.

J Ryan: he's the greatest.

Darin: He is a great guy.

J Ryan: He's the greatest. I'm so impressed with what he's. I mean, I don't want to now I'm turning into the sycophant, but I'm so impressed with what he's done with the Letterman YouTube channel.

Darin: Oh.

J Ryan: Like, it's a really fun place to be now. They have that live feed on all the time. If you just want to watch the interviews. It's awesome.

Darin: Well, Jay, listen, it's been a thrill, man. I'm so happy that you came on. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, and I'm sorry I haven't made it happen sooner. I honestly didn't think you would.

J Ryan: I'm grateful to do it anytime. I'm grateful. I think I'm a fan of you guys. I think you're great. I think what you do is great. I think the idea is great, and then your execution is great. So just keep it up. Seriously, anytime.

Darin: one more thing about Nicole. If anybody wants to do anything or is there anything that people can do to help you guys, to support you guys?

J Ryan: Yeah. Thank you. We did, create a foundation, to help understand Ms, because, whether you realize this or not, nobody really knows what causes it or what it actually is. It's kind of a catch all diagnosis. So, the autoimmunityfoundation.org is, the website. Thank you so much for having me. I'm sorry. We monopolized the entire episode with my childhood larceny.

Darin: No, we've already got comments on our thing. Very interesting stories. People are fascinated with you. You're good.

J Ryan: Did you happen.

Mike: They're so used to hearing anything good from us, so it's nice to have somebody come on with something interesting.

Darin: I know, right? Ah, I know.

J Ryan: And I'm just as irritable as you guys. I love you guys. Thank you so much for having me.

Darin: And. Yeah, yeah. And, we want to remind everybody that if you, If you want to support our podcast, you can go to irritable dad center.com. you can check us out on Facebook. If you go to irritable dad syndrome.com, you can become a patron. You can buy t shirts and merch and cool stuff like that. most importantly, we want to see you next week on irritable dad center. Have a great time. What the hell? I'm gonna try that again. Have a great time.

Mike: Have a great time.

Darin: Have a great.

Mike: Now the great show's over. Have a great time.

J Ryan: Hey, everybody, let's hold hands and have a great time.

Darin: You know what? Screw it.

J Ryan: I'm having a great time right now.

Mike: We'll figure something out. Yeah, that's it. That's. Yeah.

Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mike Odell Darren Cox production.

Darin: I know a guy who knows Peter Marshall, so maybe we can make something like that happen. I don't know. I don't know.

J Ryan: Peter Marshall. Did he do saved by the bell? Who's Peter Marshall?

Darin: Peter Marshall was host of the Hollywood squares.

Mike: he's not going to be able to hear us for a second.

Darin: Okay.

J Ryan: What's that?