IDS #236 - Humpin' Around the Christmas Tree

This is the Christmas episode. For the first time ever, our episode drops on Christmas Eve

>> Mike: This is the Christmas episode.

>> Darin: This is the Christmas episode.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Are you?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yes. Yes.

>> Mike: I thought you had a fugue state all of a sudden. A fugy fugua.

>> Darin: Hey, what do you say we both.

>> Mike: Be independent together, huh?

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, the official podcast of the North Pole. Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren. Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm, Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 236. Yeah. For the first time ever, our episode drops on Christmas Eve.

>> Mike: Yeah. So we're going to be. We know that you're listening to this while you're with your family.

>> Darin: Yes. Yes.

>> Mike: And your kids.

>> Darin: Merry Christmas.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Darin: This is going to be full of festivity and joy and. And, tidings and good cheer.

>> Mike: All of those.

>> Darin: All of those things. Yeah. I can't possibly imagine anybody on Christmas Eve listening to this. No. So for the. For, you know, Chris Hughes and the three other people, probably somebody in Taiwan. Thank you for listening to this episode.

>> Mike: So if you are listening to this episode on Christmas Eve, it's because you are in a family situation and you're trying to escape.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You're looking at them. You see them there. But, we are feeding through your earbuds.

>> Darin: That's right. So just nod up and down.

>> Mike: Yeah. Not up and down. So some tips for your uncle from your uncle Mike. Red wine.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Bourbon. those are your friends.

>> Darin: Eat all the cookies you want today.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: I mean, and that's gonna go great with the bourbon, by the way. I don't think so. So, yeah, if you're making us part of your Christmas or your Christmas Eve, we're flattered. We don't know why you're listening to us now, but thanks. We do appreciate it, and we appreciate everything you've done for us this whole, year. And we hope that you're having a great Christmas.


Buddy: It's tough to do these things on the holidays

I want to apologize because I had lots of plans for our Christmas episode, and, one of them was, I texted you, I said, I think I'm gonna go through and put together a collection of bonus clips that we've released over the past two or three years and call it Stocking Stuffers. And that sounded like such a cute idea. And I'm going through our bonus clips, and for years now, I've said, we've got all these great bonus clips and stuff.

>> Mike: They're really good.

>> Darin: They are. But in context, they are because they're funny, because a lot of them have, bloopers and outtakes and stuff that we cut out of the podcast for various reasons. So what I'm going to do is take a bunch of rejected episodes, a bunch of rejected clips and. And give them to people for Christmas. That makes us sound cheap. It's like last minute. Oh, just give them some bonus clips.

>> Mike: You know, a lot of times it.

>> Darin: Sounds like we just don't care. And we care. So I opted not to do the.

>> Mike: Stocking stuff so our audience may not know this. We are a podcast.

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: A lot of podcasts do things like they. They will, they will stop. They will cease operations during the holidays, right?

>> Darin: No, we don't do that.

>> Mike: We don't do that.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: We tell you, this particular one, it's been. Buddy, if you would. Here, let me say. Let me put it to you this way.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: You are here right now.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And we recorded a phenomenal episode for the last episode.

>> Darin: Yeah. It's one of our. 1. Honestly, one of our better ones.

>> Mike: We intend to record a good one for this one.

>> Darin: Yeah. But we'll see.

>> Mike: Buddy, if you would have called me, if you would have called me instead of showing up, I would have been like, darren, I'm done. I'm not. Let's pick it up again in January.

>> Darin: I can just.

>> Mike: I can't. Yeah, it was right there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's tough to do these things on the holidays.

>> Darin: You know What? Well, it's tough to do it. There's a lot of times where it's tough and people ask me a lot. How do you guys come up with things to talk about every week? And we usually never have a problem thinking about things to talk about.

>> Mike: Yeah. Stuff just happens. I will say that I have a new appreciation for actual shows that take breaks. So I always got upset. And I'm. I'm not comparing us at all to John Oliver. That's. This is not what I'm doing.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: But I do get annoyed, or did get annoyed every year when he said, that's our final episode. We'll see you again in February or whatever.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And same thing with a lot of the other guys. Jimmy Kimmel will do that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I get it, man. When they do that, I'm like, I get it. Fun fact. You can listen to podcasts whenever, so it really doesn't matter when they air.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But we still stick to the. Once a week. We're gonna have something for you guys.


Shadow Stevens: I want to apologize for a number of different things

>> Darin: Well, something else that I've been meaning to do all year long was whenever we had a guest on the show, I was going to have our guest, record a Christmas greeting. So did we ask Craig Augustine with his band Vibraflex to do that? No. Did we ask Jay Ryan from his, podcast out there in Los Angeles? No. We had Rick Miller from Southern Culture on the Skids. Did we ask him to record a Christmas message? No.

>> Mike: We didn't even record half his damn appearance.

>> Darin: We forgot. So tonight, throughout the show, I'm going to play messages that we raid in the past.

>> Mike: I'm going to. We're. We're at the end of this.

>> Darin: You'll be glad that you got them. Hi, I'm, Shadow Stevens, wishing you a, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

>> Mike: I'm going to call this segment. And we did this before. Apologies. So I want to apologize for a number of different things. I m. Was thinking the other day about how cool it would be if we could somehow get the edge. I don't know that I could handle Bono. I think I could handle that.

>> Darin: I think I would be fine with Bono.

>> Mike: Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. I think I would be. I would just. It would be.

>> Darin: Can you imagine if we got them on the show and you were all like. And then I asked all the questions and you're sitting over there just pissing yourself.

>> Mike: I was thinking, I really put myself in the situation if we did this. And then midway through, I get a text from you saying, I haven't recorded a damn bit.

>> Darin: Right, right.

>> Mike: So I want to apologize once more.

>> Darin: We had Rick M. Miller on the show, my favorite band, Southern Culture on the Skids, and we didn't record the first half of his interview, so.

>> Mike: But we've had our moment. Now we can say we've had that experience. We've. We've done that.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Been there, bought that T shirt.

>> Darin: But you know what? That half an episode that we aired, nobody listening would ever know that it was half an episode.

>> Mike: No, no, no.

>> Darin: And it's like our fourth most popular episode of all time.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So it's done. Great.

>> Mike: Hey, this is Rick from M. Southern Culture on the Skids, and you are.

>> Darin: Listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, the Star.

>> Darin: Wars Holiday Special, sponsored by General Motors. People building transportation to serve people. Another thing I want to apologize for. Last year, remember, we did the Irritable Dad Syndrome Christmas Spectacular?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I was talking all about the Star, Wars Holiday Special. They made a documentary on it. The. A Disturbance in the Force, The Making of the Star Wars Holiday Special. I got that for Christmas. I haven't watched it. And the plan was to do a full on review of that documentary and I haven't watched it yet. So that's coming up.

>> Mike: I have another apology.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: We have said that we're going to do a segment where we focus on a band or concert stories. We notice that our. We would have bumps in episodes where we talk about concert stories or. Or bands. And we enjoy. Part of the reason that we started this podcast is we would enjoy talking about things.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And most of the time we were talking about music.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And different shows.

>> Darin: That's one of the most important things that you and I have in common.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. It's our love of music.

>> Mike: And then we made this thing. Hey, let's just focus on a particular band. We said. Yeah, that's awesome. I think we had a couple of phone conversations. We're going to do it. Never did it.

>> Darin: Never did it.

>> Mike: Never did it.

>> Darin: Nope. Nope.

>> Mike: Great idea.

>> Darin: I'm going to apologize. Five or six weeks ago, I was talking about saving all the bread ties from bags and I was going to make a, necklace. And then, you know, we could auction off the necklace and it would go to the highest bidder and all that money would go to charity.


Dave Lay: Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year

I haven't made the necklace. No. We suck. You can't count on us. Merry Christmas. Hi, I'm Dave Lay and this is my friend Pepe.

>> Mike: Hi, everybody.

>> Darin: We would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas.

>> Mike: That's right, Dave. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.

>> Darin: Happy holidays. Your wife.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: My God.

>> Mike: Bess.

>> Darin: Yeah, Bess.

>> Mike: Elizabeth.

>> Darin: Elizabeth. So, there's a few things in this world that I look forward to the most on Christmas. One is my friend Leanne Bowman, who I went to high school and college with. She has this amazing photo of her when she was a little girl sitting on Santa's lap. And she's crying, she's bawling, screaming like blood. Red eyes, tears visible tears coming down her cheeks. Santa's holding her off his lap. Santa looks hungover. Is okay. You can see the tattoo on his arm.

>> Mike: That's the title of this episode. Looks Hungover.

>> Darin: And she posts, it every year. And I love that she posts it every year. And it's like, it's not Christmas until I see that picture from my friend Leanne. So I've started doing. Every year at Christmas time, I post a picture. When my kids were little, we have some Christmas stuffed animals. I don't know why my kids, I don't remember where they got the handcuffs, but we have handcuffs that they used to play with they handcuffed Mickey Mouse and Kermit the Frog together. And they were laying on the floor and we took a photo of it and it looks like the last scene from Saw before Carrie always cuts off his own foot. So. Okay.

>> Mike: Spoiler.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, sorry. So. But your wife added a new photo into my Christmas. Gotta look at memories. Yeah. Your boys are decorating the Christmas tree.

>> Mike: Beautiful moment.

>> Darin: But the boys. Oh yeah, they're the tree.

>> Mike: It was our new tree, by the way.

>> Darin: Yeah. Adorable. There they are putting ornaments and lights on the tree. And then the foreground is Mike's dog Booba humping his other dog, Marbles tumbling around the Christmas tree. We have a happy holiday.

>> Mike: Here's a fun fact. Booba was assigned female at birth and identifies as a female.

>> Darin: She does. Marbles identifies as a freak.

>> Mike: Now Marbles was assigned male at birth. He has no balls. Those.

>> Darin: He's hap.

>> Mike: That's what happens when you neuter.

>> Darin: He's. He's an animal. That's right.

>> Mike: Is that. Was that called Spade?

>> Darin: No, Spade is when you make a girl cat no longer able to have

>> Mike: Oh, neutered. I used the right word.

>> Darin: Neuterous boy Spade as well. Have your pet spayed or neutered.

>> Mike: I'm just saying watching the female dog hump the male dog.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It just.

>> Darin: And it's like something out of New.

>> Mike: York out of fre of a Christmas tree that your children are decorating. He was about as Norman Rockwell as we get. He was amazing.


Charlie thinks he's hearing buzzing from the Christmas tree when he plugs in

>> Darin: I've been humming up and around the Christmas tree for like five days now.

>> Mike: So we. We have this Christmas tree.

>> Mike: That we've had for year. I don't know how we acquired it. I still. I'm sure if I think about it enough, I'll remember. It was a. It's a self lit tree. M put pre lit.

>> Darin: Pre lit.

>> Mike: And it. It was like you put the bottom thing in and you put the middle and then you have to screw the plug together.

>> Darin: Oh really?

>> Mike: Yeah. And then the top and you have to screw that together and then you plug it in as a button that changes settings.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Well, it's always been wonky. The past couple years it's been a little wonky. And this year when we plugged it in, Charlie. It's like someone blew a dog whistle.

>> Mike: In the house. He looked over, he's like what's that buzzing? And I'm like, I don't hear any buzzing. And he. Okay. Boomer. You don't hear that? I don't hear the, the buzzing. I don't think there's buzzing. I got my ear right up to it. And he's about three feet away from the electrical receptacle. Electric receptor. The cord, the, the. What is that called Outlet.

>> Darin: The outlet.

>> Mike: Good lord, what's that? He's about three feet away from it. I've got my big fat head with my ear right on it. I can't hear a damn thing.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: He's like, how do you not hear that? And he's like, make doing this each time he thinks it. And I'm starting to think you're messing with me. Uh-huh. You know, and then Andrew across the room said, yeah, I hear it. And best didn't hear it. We didn't hear it. And then they, Andrew and Charlie start talking loudly about me and Bess in front of us. I got a preview of what it's going to be like when we're in our 80s.

>> Darin: Yeah. Hey, like, you ready for your pills, dad?

>> Mike: Andrew says, yeah, they can't hear because they're old.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And then Charlie says, yeah, they've got boomer ears. They can't hear the thing. And Andrew looked at me and said, it's science. Yes, science. You can't hear the higher frequencies.

>> Darin: And I'm like, you're the scientist, you know. I said, you're like, okay, boomer, what is an electron?

>> Mike: I said, charlie, what are you actually hearing? So he was hearing buzzing from the wiring. And then Andrew was saying yes too. So he was already having trouble lighting. And now this is happening. I was like, charlie, we're gonna throw money at the problem.

>> Mike: Get in the car. We're going to Home Depot. M. We're buying a tree. He lost his mind. He was so excited.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I don't know if you've been tree shopping lately.

>> Darin: Yeah, last year.

>> Mike: Nice one. Yeah. Okay, so you probably. You've got a modern mom.

>> Darin: Bought one last year.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And you plug it in, you put the bottom down, you put the middle. All, you do is just drop it in and it comes on. You drop the top part, it comes on.

>> Mike: That's what this thing does. And it has a remote control.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: To control the multi.

>> Darin: Does it have an app? Can you turn your tree on? Like if you're in Kentucky?

>> Mike: That was one level up.


Senior moment story: I forgot that we had a Christmas tree up

We didn't want to go there. Yeah, we go there anyway. We got this. Now Booba won't come to bed. Uh-huh. Booba loves to. To sleep on the couch in front of the Christmas Tree. And then when Marbles comes around, hump him. Ah. And. But we've got this amazing Christmas tree. So to continue my senior moment story, I'm cooking. Last night I made stir fry. Oh, you saw. Andrew was eating the stir fry because Marbles ate his.

>> Darin: Ate his spaghetti. Yep.

>> Mike: I forgot that we had a Christmas tree up.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And it was on a setting that goes like brightness.

>> Darin: Oh, it doesn't make that noise.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But like, I'm wanting. This is an audio podcast. They can't.

>> Darin: The, for people.

>> Mike: The video people can see what I'm brighter.

>> Darin: And then it gets dimmer. Brighter. Dimmer.

>> Mike: So if you're dimmer, you've been. You've been in our house.

>> Darin: Oh, I'm in your house right now.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: If you're in the kitchen and all the lights are off, except for the kitchen lights, and you suddenly see a flash come, from the living room.

>> Darin: You think aliens are in the house.

>> Mike: Or that something caught a flame.

>> Darin: Oh, oh.

>> Mike: Or. Yeah, so.

>> Darin: Or Jesus.

>> Mike: So I almost dropped yesterday. And for Andrew, tonight's dinner, thinking that our house was exploding.

>> Darin: Okay. Silent.

>> Mike: Completely forgot.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: That we bought a Christmas tree.

>> Darin: You can't hear. So I can't hear.

>> Mike: That's right. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. I wouldn't have been able to hear it anyway.


M. Tinker: I like the new tree. Compared to the old one

>> Mike: So I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

>> Darin: But you're enjoying your new tree.

>> Mike: I like the new tree. It looks nice.

>> Mike: Compared to the old one. Like, I didn't realize you ever bought something new. And then you realize how bad your old stuff was.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. We've had our Christmas tree for, oh, Lord, 15, 16 years. And we keep getting it out and putting. You had to manually put the branches in.

>> Mike: Oh, is it one of those like the. The colored wires in the little spokes?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You put the branches. Tinker. Toy tree.

>> Darin: And then I have to wrap all the lights around it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right. And I. You know what? I take pride in how good the lights look once I get it on.

>> Mike: But, it's a big bear.

>> Darin: I mean, it's. It's no wonder the kids don't decorate the tree with me.

>> Mike: It's like tuning something. There's a fine line between it looking like you just wrapped a wire around a bush. M. And looking like a real Christmas tree.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You got. There's. There's an art there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I wasn't about to do any of that. So we got the pre lit.

>> Darin: Well, and then, you know, I have hundreds of Christmas ornaments. Yeah, hundreds. Like, probably eight, nine, boxes. I have four trees in the house. Geez, I know. There's a tree in our living room. There's one downstairs where my office is. I work at home. There's a little one that's in the movie room. I don't have it decorated yet. And then there's a, smaller one that the only ornaments on that are ornaments that have little Santa hats. That's my Santa hat tree. That's the only theme tree I have. The one I have downstairs in my office. When dad died and I cleaned out his house, he had a little artificial tree. I brought it home, and every year I put it up and I talked to dad. I'm like, dad, I hope you appreciate me putting up your tree.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Crotchety old fart. So, yeah. I hope you're happy, dad. Yeah.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Miss you, dad. All right, stop what you're doing, cuz.

>> Mike: I'm about to ruin the image and.

>> Darin: The style that you're used to.

>> Mike: Longtime listeners know that I'm a piece peep aficionado. Yes, I enjoy peeps. Not as much as Tillamook cheese, but it's pretty damn close.

>> Darin: And what if Tillamook cheese made a peep home?

>> Mike: Well, Tillamook cheese peeps, everyone knows also that I'm an ice cream aficionado. I was prepared to let the house burn down for ice cream.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: A couple of years ago on an episode, I think. And so Tillamook makes ice cream.

>> Darin: Our alarm went off and you were eating ice cream, and you went up and asked your wife, what do you want me to do about it?

>> Mike: I'm stand by that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What do you want me to do about it? But how.

>> Darin: You're married. I don't.

>> Mike: Tillamook makes ice cream.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: My two favorite worlds combined there.


Longtime listeners know that Easter, uh, at the after Easter candy sale

So on the candy front, I've been anti peep for most of my life. Few years ago, I got a taste for the peep. So now I'm a peep aficionado. Longtime listeners know that Easter, at the after Easter candy sale, I stocked up. I was a peep prepper.

>> Darin: You had like 40 boxes of peeps, didn't you?

>> Mike: About.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And then I got over my peep addiction. So those boxes just stayed. About two months ago, I hit it again. They're mostly gone. All right.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Our lawyer, our attorney.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Posted a picture, Gibbons, on Facebook of pickle peeps.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And I was intrigued.

>> Darin: Grinch.

>> Mike: Grinch, yeah. Pickle Peeps. I enjoy A good pickle chip. Lay's pickle dill. Pickle chips. Huh?

>> Darin: Ah

>> Mike: Good lord.

>> Darin: I know. Well, I've never, I've never had one.

>> Mike: They're potato crack.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Mike: Here's the name of my band in college.

>> Darin: Potato Crack.

>> Mike: Potato crack. And I thought a, Pickle Peep. Sounds horrifying, but I'm intrigued.

>> Darin: You were gonna eat them?

>> Mike: I searched for them, couldn't find them. Made a special trip to Walgreens, looked in Target, looked everywhere. Then I got online. I even went to.

>> Darin: I looked for them for you.

>> Mike: I went to the Amazon. You can get everything on Amazon on.

>> Darin: Oh yeah.

>> Mike: And I looked at the Peep website. There's a peep website? All Peeps available.

>> Mike: There's no Pickle Peeps. So I'm not denigrating our attorney. He did his job. He alerted me to the potential of Pickle peeps. Well, what I would like to say to the Peep Corporation. And we're going to tag them on this episode.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Big peep.

>> Darin: M. Big peep.

>> Mike: I want the Pickle peeps. Right. They, they've gone through all the stuff, done everything else, done them all. They've got candy, cane peeps this year, which I'm going to get.

>> Darin: Okay. Yeah, those sound pretty good.

>> Mike: They get little flecks of the. The peppermint.

>> Darin: Do you like peppermint? I do, yeah. I love peppermint. The, the UDF has peppermint chip ice cream.

>> Mike: You smack you dead in the face.

>> Darin: No. And the best thing about it is Libby doesn't like peppermint. So whenever we get that stuff in the house, it's mine. Yeah. And Jacob's not crazy about it. So all I got to do is just not tell Cameron.

>> Mike: Yeah. A good peppermint. A good peppermint ice cream. Which that is. And I got the graters. I'm not a graters fan. I don't like graters.

>> Darin: I don't understand.

>> Mike: I did get graters Peppermint because I was accepted.

>> Darin: But I don't understand it.

>> Mike: The beauty of peppermint stick ice cream. By the way, if you're at a holiday party right now and you're listening to us to escape your family.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Go look in the freezer to see if these, yahoos you're hanging out with, if they're peppermint stick ice cream.


If they're like me or Mike, they might have an extra fridge in their garage

>> Darin: If they're like me or Mike, they might have an extra fridge in their garage or like a, like one of them coffin freezers in their basement. So excuse yourself and then go. And that's. This is.

>> Mike: This is legal in the state of.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, honestly, if you're at a. I mean, who has a. A party on Christmas Eve? Whatever. Look, in their medicine cabinet, see what they got in there. And then go see if they have this stuff in their other freezers. Right? Because if you have stuff like this, you don't let, like, strangers, visitors, guests, freaks.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Ne'er do Wells come in your home and then eat the good stuff.


Did you ever eat the Christmas tree ice creams when you were a kid

>> Mike: Allow me to interrupt myself once more. Did you ever eat the Christmas tree ice creams when you were a kid? They only. They were only out when we. You know what I'm talking about. And they had the little. Little balls.

>> Darin: Hello? Yeah. Getting personal now. It was cold.

>> Mike: My mom would buy a box of the.

>> Darin: Thank you, good night, merry Christmas, we'll see you next year.

>> Mike: Back in the 70s, those were fur trees. Anyway, My. My mom would buy a pack of those. Yeah. Yeah. Because of the. And they would come with six trees, and I would eat all six trees in a half hour, be sick for the rest of the night. But they were amazing. I can't find those anymore. But I went. The glory. The glory of the peppermint. No, the. Of the peppermint stick ice cream is all the peppermint. The harshness of the peppermint is in the little candy pieces. And then. But then ice cream is more sweet.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So you can dial in where you are.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like, if you want to balance each other, if you want to go Arctic, just get the candy pieces until the point where you're like, oh, like a penguin's gonna come out of my mouth. And then you get that luscious pink sweetie ice cream to get you back to normal. And m. Then go Stickland again.

>> Darin: Stickland. Yeah.

>> Mike: I could go through a quart of that.

>> Darin: And after you eat the peppermint stick ice cream, your mouth is all fresh and you don't have to brush your teeth.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: At all.

>> Darin: Ever.

>> Mike: That's science.

>> Darin: That is science.

>> Mike: This is Adam Nedeff. And I just wanna say, being able.

>> Darin: To plug my book about Monty hall.

>> Mike: On your podcast was a very big deal for me in 2022. Seriously, though, Merry Christmas and, Happy 2023.


Chris and Janine discuss the new Indiana Jones video game

>> Darin: We were talking about Harrison Ford last week and the new Indiana Jones game.

>> Mike: Uh-huh. And have you played it yet?

>> Darin: I have not.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No, I haven't had time, but,

>> Mike: I haven't gotten much further in it, but I'm gonna. Yeah.

>> Darin: So I was talking to my kids about Harrison Ford and how cool Harrison Ford is, and it reminded me. I said, did you guys ever see my impression of Harrison Ford? And they said, no. And, I do an impression of Harrison Ford starring in a movie about plants. But since this is our Christmas episode, I've altered the impression. Harrison Ford is starring in a movie about a family that has a live Christmas tree.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. And so there's a lot of pointing. And again, this is an audio podcast, so you don't get the full gist of the impression unless you're a patron.

>> Mike: And you get the video version.

>> Darin: Exactly. So this is Harrison Ford in a movie about a live. A family that has a live Christmas tree. That Christmas tree needs water. You water that tree. Thank you. That's like the whole film. That's the whole film.

>> Mike: Roll credits.

>> Darin: I did that. And Cameron damn near spit food out of his mouth. Cameron's like, dad, that's hilarious. So thank you. Thank you very much. The Academy Award goes to. Yeah. Hey, it's Chris and Janine, and we're.

>> Mike: Wishing you the happiest of holidays.

>> Darin: Ho, ho, ho.

>> Mike: Happy holidays. Happy holiday.

>> Darin: That will. Thank you.

>> Mike: Cut your family out of this. Like your wife and your kids.

>> Darin: Okay, done.

>> Mike: Get them out.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: What's your favorite Christmas present you've had before that? Like, because, you know. Because you're gonna have to say the pine cone thing ornament that we made, and it's. Yeah. So get all that out of there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Your little kid, Darren. what was. What was the. The coup de gras?

>> Darin: Oh, boy. When I was a kid, when I got the. The Atari 2600. Oh, that was a big deal.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: That was. I. I think I, peed myself a little. Little bit when I got that. And I remember because I opened the box and I'm like, yeah. I'm reading the box, and I didn't. You'd think you would look at the box and instantly know what it was.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But not me.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No. I. I think I might have been kicked in the head by a mule when I was young, which may have something to do with the wonky eye, but I'm looking at the box and I said, video game system by Atari.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: That didn't. Video.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then the. The picture of the Atari on the box didn't clue me.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: But.

>> Mike: Well, it had wood grain and stuff on it.

>> Darin: It looked like it was made out of, maple, I think it was.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You played it, and it got Hot SAP came out of it.

>> Mike: Hello. It was a different time back. Yeah.

>> Darin: But no, I love the Atari.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I got a BMX bike one year. That was awesome.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: You know what? When I was a kid, I was easy.


There was a time when the only thing you wanted was Star Wars figures

I was really easy because for. There was like four or five years where the only thing I wanted was Star wars figures.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So I could, I could literally get one Star wars figure and I would play with that thing for months.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I loved my Star wars figures.

>> Mike: I got one year. I got the return, of the Jedi. Ewok village. M. Dude.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It was over at that point. Yeah.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: Like that. It didn't matter what other presents were there.

>> Darin: Yeah, that's.

>> Mike: I got that. And it was the biggest. Damn. See, back in the day, they didn't know how to package these things. M. You know, now everything's so compact and you, you open it, you push a button. It's huge. But back then, this thing, it was like the. It was as big as a car under your tree. That's massive. Do you remember you had to leave.

>> Darin: The door open because half the gift was outside.

>> Mike: And I got pissed off recently. and I didn't, I didn't bring the research, but there was a toy that every boy my age wanted. The GI Joe aircraft carrier. Oh, you know what I'm talking about.

>> Darin: I do know what you're talking about.

>> Mike: Because if you had the Stryker jet, which everybody had, the. Basically the F14 top, the top Gun jet, it would. You could land it on it. Now in the little kid's mind, you could land about six of these jets on there. Because this thing was huge.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: When you went into the toy store, it was like, oh, they're in the back against the wall, all two of them that we have. It was like.

>> Mike: The idea of even asking for that was like. Like when you walked in, Right. If your parents saw the sign that they're back there, you would hear either there's no reason to even go back and look at it.

>> Mike: Or that won't fit in our house.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Right now I'm older.

>> Mike: There's a lot of retro ads and stuff. So they're showing the ads from this thing from back in the day. It's not like it was. It seemed like it was thousands of dollars the way my parents.

>> Darin: 24.95.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. It's like I. I honestly think it.

>> Darin: Was this where the toys.

>> Mike: I will say I think it was like 150 bucks. And I'm thinking, okay. Oh, my God.

>> Darin: That was.

>> Mike: It was nothing.

>> Darin: That was your college fund at the time. Yeah.

>> Mike: But then you look at it, and I'm looking at the actual size because on some of these retro sites they show people are selling on ebay, you could fit maybe one of those jets and like another GI Joe guy standing, like, off to the side. It's like the picture of it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: On the little cartoon picture look like it would hold 20 jets and they're all flying around and. But when you actually got it, it's about the size of that dehumidifier.

>> Darin: Well, you and I are from the same time, although they may have stopped doing this because I'm definitely of this age where the commercials that kids watched on Saturday morning, had sound effects.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. That the toy didn't make.

>> Darin: Yes. And they. The FCC shut that down because, like, kids, guys, they're really disappointed because this thing doesn't make up.

>> Mike: Yeah. And the commercial, it goes nothing. Yeah. Commercial goes.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But then when you, when you push the thing, it just goes, like.

>> Darin: Mommy, this doesn't make any noise at all. No, it doesn't. And they stop doing that on, the sound effects.

>> Mike: The best sound effect toy I ever had, you reminded me, was a gun from Rambo. First Blood Part two. I don't know if you remember this for. I think most people know that First Blood, Rambo, First Blood Part 2, Rambo 3. Those were all R rated movies.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Which means you can't watch it unless you're over 17 or accompanied by a parent or guardian.


Mike Chisum: Rambo was the real American hero

>> Darin: By a cool parent.

>> Mike: Right. But they tried like hell to market Rambo. To kids. There was a Rambo cartoon. Do you remember that? Real American. No, the real American hero was GI Joe.

>> Darin: GI Joe was there.

>> Mike: Yeah. They had like, he had like the. A group with him. Rambo group. And I'm like, every movie he's by himself.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, and this was the 80s.

>> Darin: Kids watch it travel with a group.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: And the guns, you could buy his guns. It was a 9 millimeter Uzi. And I knew that because of GI Joe, but in the movies he never used a 9 millimeter Uzi, but it had battery operated. It looked so real. If it were sold right now, there would be so many protests. It looked like a real gun.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: But when you pulled the trigger on it. So when we were kids, most of the toy guns, they had the cap guns, you know, and they had to. Kids were blowing their eyes out and stuff.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: or whatever. Stupid kids.

>> Darin: They Were breathing in the.

>> Mike: They were breathing in the cat. It was good. Oh, they had that little sprocket thing like it. And like your little doofus kids around going. And the Lord have mercy.

>> Darin: Drove parents crazy.

>> Mike: This one had a speaker running down the side of it.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And it took batteries. And when you pulled that trigger, dude.

>> Mike: Like an actual. I spit all over you. Like the actual sound of a machine gun firing. It was loud as hell. Uh-huh. I'd run around the backyard shooting at my friends with it. It looked like. It looked like a war was happening out there. It was awesome. And everybody wanted to use it, but it was my gun.

>> Darin: My favorite Rambo toy was the pull string doll. And you'd pull it and he would say, I, just want our country to love us as much as we love it. Yeah, yeah. That was Rambo.

>> Mike: Yeah. There were so many things they should have made toys of. The little microphone that he uses in Rainbow First Blood Part 2, where he's like grips it, Murdoch. And he grips it. I'm coming for you. They should, they. You could have sold. I could have bought that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I would have walked around the household.

>> Darin: I'm coming for you.

>> Mike: I would have gone up to. I'd play with it now. I'd go up, booba. I'm coming for you. Be awesome. The helicopter you. I don't think they had the helicopter that he shoots with the rocket.

>> Mike: All those things. Darren. Mike. Irritable dad syndrome. Everybody who is in the ecosystem of the irritable dad syndrome, it's Mike Chisum, host of the Letterman podcast. Please let me wish you a very heartfelt happy New Year.


The other day, Cameron had some friends over to make Christmas cookies

>> Darin: The other day, Cameron, had some friends of his that go to his, he studies graphic design at Butler Tech. And he had a handful of his friends from Butler Tech come over and they're making Christmas cookies. Okay. So the kids are over there and we're making Christmas cookies and it's getting late and the kids weren't leaving. And they're all nice kids. They're all very, very nice kids. And I remember one of them saying, they didn't know how they were going to get home. And I said, well, I can give you right home.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so, it was getting late and I said, did, did one of you guys need to ride home? And there was this girl.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: And her boyfriend. I said, yeah, we do, if you don't mind. I said, don't mind at all.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so I'm driving these two home and the girl had said something about her birthday coming up, and her birthday is in December.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: And I said, yeah, you probably get the same thing that I get. And I did my. One of my Christmas jokes. I said, yeah, because every year at Christmas, my wife gives me a gift. And she says, honey, this is your Christmas present and your birthday present. And what makes me mad is my birthday's in June. Yeah. Nothing.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Yeah, nothing. It fell so flat. Like, nothing. And I'm like, come on. So I didn't even bother doing it.

>> Mike: Did the music.

>> Darin: I didn't do my, holly jelly Christmas joke.

>> Mike: Did you. Did you walk down the road with a knapsack on your back with the Hulk music playing? After that, she's like, no, it's over.

>> Darin: No, I did not.

>> Mike: What?


Darren: I screwed up my law of being quiet during Jack Chris underpass

>> Darin: One more story, and then, we're gonna head out and let you guys get to the rest of your Christmas Eve. Months and months ago, I was talking about how we have a tradition in our family where if we're driving towards the city of Hamilton from our house, there's this thing called the Jack Kirsch underpass. And if we drive under it, we cannot talk. We turn off the music. We don't say a word. We drive under it. And then we, you know, we have our moment of silence for Jack Kirsch. And then we turn the stereo back on, and then we resume our conversation. I'm driving Cameron into Hamilton for his job interview with the fine folks at Chick Fil A, and I wasn't sure where I was going in Hamilton. And while we went under the underpass, our, GPS told me to take the left at the next thing. And Cameron and I went into full panic.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Because we're not supposed to talk or play music or anything. And I was like, oh, this.

>> Mike: Thing have no respect.

>> Darin: Right. And Cameron shot me a look, like. And he said, dad, you made noise. And I said, well, what I'm allowed to make. I'm allowed to make a noise. Right? I'm just not allowed to. And he says, you're not allowed to make noise? I'm like, well, the bigger problem is what do we do about, you know, the. The lady on the gps?

>> Darin: I mean. And so I brought it up to the family, and it's under review. Now. Did I violate the Jack Kershunderpass law that I started?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They're saying now that if you have GPS on and you know that you're about to go through the underpath. Yes.

>> Mike: You have to do a little mute.

>> Darin: I don't know how to mute that.

>> Mike: Oh, okay.

>> Darin: I've never had. I've never. Listen, sip it, punk. Yeah, I've never had to mute the gps, so it's something I'm gonna have to learn to do. If you're okay with that.

>> Mike: You know what? It's time to meet the rest of us in the 21st century. Darren, right? You probably got. You haven't turned on since 99 because of Y2K. You're scared.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: You know, I turn on your razor, it's going to. It's going to explode.

>> Darin: I still have a case of twinkies in my Y2K bunker. But no, it's under review, okay? Libby and Jacob. And for some reason my mom's involved and mom has no decision making.

>> Mike: I mean, I'll throw my two cents in. I think you pay a fine. I think you pay a fine. I think what they need to review is how much do you need to pay and can you pay in labor? You know, like wash the dishes? Because you can't pay for.

>> Darin: I wash the dishes all the time.

>> Mike: Well, let's just make it official.

>> Darin: Anyway, my apologies to my family. I screwed up my law of being quiet during the Jack Chris underpass. Yeah, but it was the GPS lady who did it. It wasn't me. You know, but I think that blaming.

>> Mike: Others is not a good look. Blaming others is not a good look.

>> Darin: I'm blaming. I'm not even blaming a person. I'm blaming gps.

>> Mike: I know, it's pathetic. You need to, okay, if you're going to blame somebody, blame a person. Call him out. Get. Grow some balls and point at him. Stand up and point at him dead in the face and say it's your fault.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'll do that.


Mike and Darren say Merry Christmas on Irritable Dad Syndrome

Oh, guys, we're going to go. Merry Christmas.

>> Mike: Merry Christmas.

>> Darin: If you're at your family's house, tell everybody that Uncle Mike and Uncle Darren said Merry Christmas. And we hope you have a fantastic party. We hope you get everything that you wanted for Christmas. We hope you.

>> Mike: Unless you wanted something stupid.

>> Darin: I hope you ordered a Whompers Holiday ham and that you're enjoying that at your dinner. Yeah, because those aren't, for sale the rest of the year. You can only get those at Christmas time, so I don't know why I'm mentioning it. I hope they ordered one because you're out. of luck if you don't have.

>> Mike: Hamming up with Whompers.

>> Darin: Exactly. Whompers Holiday Hams. They'll. They'll be available next year though, so. And the older you get, the quicker time flies. So it'll be just, you know, next thing you know, Dave Le will be talking about Whompers holiday hams again. And you can get one next year. So, I hope you have the time of your life with your family again. Merry Christmas and we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome. Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Mike: I don't know what happened. It's a Christmas episode. We're talking about a Rambo.

>> Darin: Yeah. The worst toy maker in the world. I'm a cotton headed ninny muggins.

>> Mike: Now listen, we have dolls that cry, talk, walk, blink and run on a temperature. We don't need any chewing dolls. It's beautiful. Absolutely. It looks like you're playing a movie.

>> Darin: Yeah, it's beefy.

>> Mike: It's, it's beefy thick. Yeah, it's a girthy game.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Full of girth.

>> Darin: It'll make you go, oh.

>> Mike: M m

>> Darin: It.

>> Mike: M.

>> Darin: M.

>> Mike: So you excited about Christmas?

>> Darin: I'm hoping that this Christmas goes better than last Christmas last year. Last year, my wife, a God lover, she bought me a gift and she said, honey, this is your Christmas present and your birthday present. And this makes me so mad because my birthday's in June. I've got a, I've got a calendar. I was looking through the days and it's as far away from Christmas as you can get. I'm like, honey, the combination gift doesn't work like that. And then, you know, June rolls around, she start nagging at me, how come you never wear that sweater I got you for your birthday? I feel like I can't win as a husband.

>> Mike: You cannot.

>> Darin: Can you ever win as a husband?

>> Darin: Are you kidding?

>> Mike: Can't win.

>> Darin: And we've been married for 17 years and I've gone through so many changes since I got married. When I was single, I used to keep my remote control for the TV on the coffee table.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Now that I'm married, I keep it in a basket on the coffee table. On the coffee. I had to stop living like some kind of animal.

>> Mike: Yeah. That's a shame.

>> Darin: I know, I know, I know.


Darren Cox talks about Christmas with The Holiday Drop In Show

>> Mike: Darren Cox is with us here on.

>> Darin: The Holiday Drop In Show.

>> Mike: Have you got any gift for that.

>> Darin: That most important person?

>> Darin: I still need to get a gift from my mom. My mom, she's not very tech savvy. Yeah, she calls me up the other day and she says, honey, what channel is Netflix on? And I'm like, mom, it's not a channel. It's a streaming service. You subscribe and pay a monthly fee. She says, I know how it works, Darren. I just want to know what channel it's on. A friend of hers told her that Seinfeld has a new show. She wants to know what day it comes on, what time it comes on. I finally. I just gave up. I said, Tuesdays at check your TV guy, because she lives in Tennessee. It's a different channel there than it is here.

>> Mike: Oh, man.

>> Darin: What do you do, you know?

>> Mike: Oh, my gosh. So do you have a favorite Christmas song, Darren?

>> Darin: I love Most wonderful time of the year.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: But Andy Williams says, there'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm wondering who tells scary ghost stories. Hey, kids, gather around the tree. Mom's gonna make some cookies. So I'm gonna tell you about a family of four who vanished in our very home.

>> Mike: And their spirits are.

>> Darin: You know, it's like, you know, Christmas Eve, they're in bed, they can't sleep. Parents think they're excited about Santa coming. They're afraid they're gonna die. And then, you know, Burl Ives sings Holly, Jolly Christmas, right? And he says, you know, somebody waits for you. Kiss her once for me. Kiss your own girlfriend. I'm not gonna go home and kiss my wife.

>> Mike: And look.

>> Darin: I go, you like that?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: That one's from Burl Ives. Burl was around way before the MeToo movie. Do you like my current music references?

>> Darin: Yes, I do.

>> Darin: I stay current. I'm right on top of today' the case.

>> Mike: Burl Eyes.