IDS #237 - More Pancakes and More Gerbils

This is the last episode of the year. I know, right?

>> Mike: H. Gobbledygobbly.

>> Darin: Hey, I'm Darren. I'm Darren.

>> Mike: You're sorted into Pepperdine.

>> Darin: I'm Darren. Mike.

>> Mike: I'm Darren. M. I'm Mike.

>> Darin: I'm Darren. I'm Mike. This is the last episode of the year.

>> Mike: Holy.

>> Darin: I know, right? And if you have listened to us, you know that the last episode of the year, we always do a repeat, okay? And on that repeat, we throw in a little extra something, something. The reason why we do a repeat.

>> Mike: Is because my wife always says, are you seriously doing an episode this week?

>> Darin: Yeah, exactly.

>> Mike: and then I say, of course not, honey. We've planned to not to do this.

>> Darin: No, no. I'm dedicating all my time to you.

>> Mike: Yes. And then my precious love that allows me to stay married for another year until it comes up again.

>> Darin: But no, we do a repeat because we have some episodes from, our past that are really good that I don't think enough people really got their chance to enjoy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So sit back, relax, and enjoy this encore performance of Pancakes for Gerbils.

>> Mike: Oh, they're good.

>> Darin: If something happens, I'll write it down. I'll text myself.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: if there's a conversation, if I run into somebody funny, if somebody at the grocery store says, hey, you want to touch my beats? I instantly text myself so that I can remember it.

>> Mike: I've been doing that.

>> Darin: And then we talk about it on the podcast. So today I'm doing the rundown for the show, and, I've got typed to me. Pancakes for gerbils.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I have no idea why I wrote that. Did you say that to me?

>> Mike: Did I say pancakes for gerbils to you?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Why would I say pancakes for gerbils?

>> Darin: I don't know. a cook at a local restaurant was arrested after he was caught with 15 frozen lobster tails stuffed down his pants. Yeah.

>> Mike: As a result, now the lobsters have crabs.

>> Darin: Thank you.


Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, the official podcast of 2025

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, the official podcast of 2025. Give it up for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hey, everybody, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: And this is episode 46.

>> Mike: 46.

>> Darin: We're not going to spend a whole lot of time talking about episode 46. I want to jump right into the show.

>> Mike: Half of 92.

>> Darin: Half of 92. Twice. 23 it is. So, yeah.

>> Mike: I had to think.

>> Darin: I'm losing my mind. Okay. I was so excited about last week's episode.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And, the, stories that we told and how I thought it turned out pretty good.

>> Mike: This show relies on you having lost your mind already and continuing to.

>> Darin: That is true.

>> Mike: Okay, so you liked last week's episode?

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: Like, I thought it was pretty good.

>> Darin: Yeah. We didn't have a lot of faith in it when as we recorded it.

>> Mike: We almost like wrapped up. We almost took all this outside and burn it. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: But anyway, after we put it together, it turned out to be a pretty good episode.

>> Mike: Yeah.


Darren: I forgot about Jacob getting his driver's license

>> Darin: So I had a whole rundown and I had things to talk about on last week's show. One of them was my son getting his driver's license.

>> Mike: We did.

>> Darin: Okay. Talked about, we talked about the show. I got home and I'm talking to the wife and kids about how great the show was and that we talked about Jacob getting his driver's license. And my wife said, what did Mike think about your new nickname? And then I realized I completely forgot the biggest part of the story of Jacob getting his driver's license.

>> Mike: I mean, we have a whole joke of long running joke in the show.

>> Darin: That your name, nobody can say it. Nobody can pronounce for whatever reason, nobody can spell it.

>> Mike: It's not like your name is Slotty Bartfast.

>> Darin: Right, Right.

>> Mike: Or something.

>> Darin: My name is Darren. D, A, R, I, N. Two syllables, five letters.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So it happened again.


This is continuation of last week's story of Jacob getting his driver's license

Let me finish the story of Jacob getting his driver's license.

>> Mike: So this is a, redid.

>> Darin: This is a continuation of last week's story of Jacob getting his driver's license.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: After he passed his test, the lady who took him was, really nice. The guy who worked there was really nice. And I said, is this where he gets his photo? And they said, no, you need to go six, offices down the sidewalk and then have your picture taken there. So if you remember last week, we were already in a field and then we were at a bmv and then we got sent to a second bmv.

>> Mike: There was a handlebar mustache, an Indian.

>> Darin: With the handlebar mustache at a, at a Sunoku station full of wanted posters and a wooden key. A, a key with a wooden log on it so that nobody would steal it.

>> Mike: As opposed to a non wooden log.

>> Darin: Right, right, right. All of that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So we go to our third BMV office to get Jacob's picture. We walk in, there's a kiosk says, put your name in here for the kiosk and wait your turn. So I put my name in and Jacob says, dad, there's a red line under your name, like it's misspelled. And so I'm like, here we go.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I go back.

>> Mike: Now even the AI is giving you.

>> Darin: Exactly. You can't just go back and change one letter. You go back and it takes away the whole name. so I go back, I just leave. Capital D, A, R, I, N, capital C, O, X. Okay, that's my name. And I put it on there and I double checked it. I triple checked it. And then I hit enter and then it said, wait your turn and we will text you when you're ready. So we sat down and we wait a few minutes.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Then a lady stands up and she says, number 42. Dairy. Dairy.

>> Mike: Dairy.

>> Darin: She thought my name was dairy.

>> Mike: Funny if your last name was air.

>> Darin: Yeah, Dairy.

>> Mike: Air.

>> Darin: For a while I thought maybe the kids think that I'm making some of this. Yeah, right? They can't possibly miss my name everywhere I go. And he looks at me like, oh, my God, dad, you're right.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's weird.

>> Darin: And as I'm walking to the lady, she says, yeah, your name came up here as Derry Darn.

>> Mike: Derry Darn.

>> Darin: Dairy Darn. I'm like, that's even better. My wife used to love Darfin, and she would call me Darfin. She almost put Darfin on my birthday cake. Okay, now she calls me Dairy Darn.

>> Mike: I'm gonna call you Dairy.

>> Darin: She absolutely loves that. And then I told Jacob that if he passes his driving test, that I will take him to the McDonald's and I'll get him anything that he wants. Okay.

>> Mike: Can I ask you a question?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Did you call it McDonald's before I had my night where I was wanting to go to the McDonald's. Nope.

>> Darin: Nope. You drunk at the. At the Metallica concert in the Uber. Hey, where are we going? To the McDonald's. Take me to the McDonald's. That inspired me, that motivated me, that moved me. and now I can't see it. I can't drive past it without saying, hey, there's a Mac.

>> Mike: There's the McDonald's.

>> Darin: So I'm taking them to a McDonald's, huh? I plug it into the GPS. We've already had trouble with GPS taking us to. To the middle of a field. Okay? So I plug it in, and it says, take a right, Take a right. Take a right. We take another right. Take a third right. Yeah, we took a third right. We're going in circles right in this neighborhood. And I'm like, buddy, this GPS is flipping killing me today.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: How about we get on the interstate, we go home? I'll find you a McDonald's and then I'll get you something there. And he says that we'll be fine, dad. Because he just can't believe that we're having this much trouble either. We're going. I do find a McDonald's. It's weird, I know.

>> Mike: It's not like it's a weird name now. You spell it weird.

>> Darin: No, I spell it.

>> Mike: In my opinion.


Jacob and I went to McDonald's to celebrate his kid's driver's license

No, I. Because I. Well, I grew up.

>> Darin: We're not having this argument.

>> Mike: I had a friend. His name was Darren.

>> Darin: He spelled it incorrectly.

>> Mike: D, A, R, R, E, N. That's.

>> Darin: One way to spell it. That's the incorrect.

>> Mike: That's one way to spell it. And I always thought that that's the way you spell Darren. And then I saw how you spelled it in my first. Because I didn't know you. I didn't know you from Adam. Right. They say.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And my first thought was, ah, it's one of those. One of those damn millennials. Then I saw you.

>> Darin: 51 years.

>> Mike: Then I saw you, and I'm like, that ain't no millennial.

>> Darin: No, no.

>> Mike: And then you said something like, take me to the McDonald's or something. And I became friends from there on end. Right. And,

>> Darin: So anyhow, anyway, the GPS is sending us all different directions.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We're getting frustrated, and we decide to leave. And, I do find another McDonald's. We go in there, and I told Jacob, anything you want, man. So he orders the big breakfast.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: Biscuit. The eggs, the sausage.

>> Mike: So you put the biscuit in there. Now the pancakes.

>> Darin: Yeah, and pancakes and a biscuit and a potato patty. Okay. So that's the big breakfast. I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna have one, too. We're gonna celebrate him getting his license.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So we ordered two big breakfasts. we go to the table, and then I realize, oh, I didn't tell her what I wanted to drink. So I told the lady, I forgot to tell you what my son and I want for drinks on our big breakfast. And she says, she must be from the south, because she says, oh, honey, that don't come with drinks. And I said, then I'm gonna need to order a couple of drinks. and she looks to her left, she looks to her right to make sure no one's around. She goes, you know what? I'm gonna give you a couple drinks because I think it should come with drinks.

>> Mike: There you go. And she gives me two executive decision.

>> Darin: Like, half gallon socks.

>> Mike: You know what? When people turn the blind eye as it Said, yeah, they turn it.

>> Darin: And so. And so she goes, I think it should come with drinks.

>> Mike: And I was like, God love you.

>> Darin: Thank you so much. You know, and so it's like on this crazy day when we kept getting lost and winding up in fields and.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But one building after another after another after another, and an Indian with a handlebar mustache. We ran into nice people.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So again, when Jacob is old and when he's taking his kid to get his driver's license, he's going to have this story of when he got his. Because I don't have a story about getting my driver's license. I went, yeah. And I got it.

>> Mike: You got it.

>> Darin: Yeah.


Dave Lay celebrates bring your daughter to work day with this week's podcast

>> Dave: Hey, everybody, this is your announcer, Dave Lay. And all of us here at Irritable dad Syndrome are proud once again to celebrate bring your daughter to work day. So to help with this week's show, please welcome my daughter, Emma.

>> Darin: Oh, my God, dad, you're so embarrassing. For the hundredth time, it's not bring.

>> Mike: Your daughter to work day, and I don't want to be on your stupid.

>> Darin: Irritable dork syndrome podcast with Beavis and Butthead. Is this what you call work?

>> Mike: I mean, seriously, is this what you.

>> Darin: Do when you're not watching my soccer games? God, I hate you.

>> Dave: Okay.


How was your Fourth of July, in your opinion

Now back to the show.

>> Mike: How was your fourth?

>> Darin: It was good.

>> Mike: You have a good one.

>> Darin: It was good.

>> Mike: So what constitutes a good Fourth of July, in your opinion? What did you do?

>> Darin: We've never been more popular.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: We were invited to go up to my buddy Jeff Brown's house.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Jeff, is our photographer. He took the pictures for our Irritable dad syndrome logo, and he's. His picture is on our, website.

>> Mike: It is.

>> Darin: He's eating the cheese.

>> Mike: The.

>> Darin: Tell the. The cheese and the crackers.

>> Mike: He's literally eating the cheese and crackers. That's not a euphemism.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: If you're one of our listeners in Europe and you're looking that up to figure out what we're talking about, he's literally eating the cheese.

>> Darin: Oh, he's eating the cheese.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Wait, what? by the way, we had a request from a listener. Can we start saying cheese in every episode? And I was like, I'm, pretty sure we already do.

>> Mike: Done.

>> Darin: So, yeah. anyway, so we go up there, and we had a cookout. Sunday, we were invited to another friend's house. My friend Larry and his wife Debbie. We went and had dinner with them.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then Monday, we were invited to dinner with some other Friends that my wife knew, they used to live in our neighborhood. Honest to God, we have never been this popular.

>> Mike: That's awesome.

>> Darin: So we had. And here's the thing. There were, two nights where one night we were invited to go over to our neighbor's house. We couldn't go because my son's girlfriend was.

>> Darin: At our house. And then another. Right. Our other neighbor was having a pool party. We couldn't go because we were. I'm like, we were invited to six things this week.

>> Mike: Good Lord.

>> Darin: We weren't invited to six things over the last six years.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: But, yeah, that's how my fourth was. How was yours?

>> Mike: So we went to Big Bear Lake.

>> Darin: Okay, gotcha. home of Mildred the Bear.

>> Mike: No. so this needs a disclaimer.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Any of our listeners in Europe, you might as well just go ahead and skip ahead 10 minutes. None of this is going to make a damn bit of sense.

>> Darin: And no, I want our listeners in Europe to stay because I think they'll learn something. Okay, thank you for staying.

>> Mike: Good luck.


I'm going to speak very frankly about my visit to Disney World

And here's another disclaimer because I don't want any hate mail.

>> Darin: Should I have Dave read a disclaimer?

>> Mike: I'm going to speak. I'm going to speak very frankly about my visit.

>> Darin: Oh, like you don't speak frankly other times?

>> Mike: Well, I don't want anyone to get offended.

>> Darin: I. E. Your last visit to Chick.

>> Mike: Fil A. I'm a card carrying and I don't actually have a card. Hillbilly slash redneck. All those names apply to me.

>> Darin: That comes out when you go. Because you don't act like a redneck.

>> Mike: No, I don't now.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: But I came from that area and before.

>> Darin: So did I.

>> Mike: Before I came from that area, I came from that area. Okay, so where, like, Bess and I are going back, to that area to visit. And it's nowhere near the area that I came from before. I'm talking hardcore redneck. Hillbilly. So when I talk about rednecks and hillbillies, I feel like I have like the. I can do it.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I don't want anyone to get offended and think, well, he's this big snooty guy or whatever talking about rednecks. no, I have been there.

>> Darin: I understand.

>> Mike: And if you hear me speak to certain people that I are still in my hometown, it comes back out. The accent comes back hardcore. And actually listening to the episodes, over the past couple, the last year, it's come out every once In a while. Not often. That disclaimer out of the way.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: This place was like redneck heaven. They had. Okay, so you know Disney World? You go to Disney World.

>> Darin: I have been to Disney World.

>> Mike: So they have like the future land and the, the dwarf land was Sneezy and Drippy.

>> Darin: I don't think it's dwarf land or.

>> Mike: Fantasy, whatever it's called.

>> Darin: That's another place in Orlando.

>> Mike: They have their little land. Okay. Epcot. When you go to Epcot and you walk into the place, that's the Mexico place. Yes, it's the. It's. You're not in Mexico, but you know what I mean? You go to the German place.

>> Darin: Go to Canada.

>> Mike: You go to the Canada place.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: So this was like the redneck Disney, Okay. In that every aspect of what you saw, you were enveloped in it. We felt like we were in like.

>> Darin: A episode of the Duke's a Hazard.

>> Mike: It was like it was everywhere as far as the eye could see.

>> Mike: It was amazing.

>> Darin: Did you have cars on blocks?

>> Mike: There were some of those.

>> Mike: Everybody drove around in golf carts. They were all like mobile homes and RVs.

>> Darin: The golf cart is something that has evolved since my day of living.

>> Mike: Let me tell you about the red car world. Let me tell you about the golf cart that we rode on.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: It was designed after Deadpool.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay. It had like red and black leather, had Deadpool insignias.

>> Darin: They have a Richard Petty logo on it somewhere.

>> Mike: No, no, no, no. But the. But the guy who owned it was a cop. And it. So he put lights in it to where when he turned on the lights, it looks like he's. It looks like he's pulling somebody over. So we go, is that legal? He didn't actually pull anybody. Somebody over, golf cart. Let me. Here's. Here's a helpful hint, okay? If you're ever driving and someone tries to pull you over in a golf cart, don't stop.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: Just keep driving.

>> Darin: Okay, I'll keep that.

>> Mike: You're gonna have a bad time.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: you're gonna have a bad time. So we're there. Everything's Golf Carty. Everybody's drinking.


Andrew and his family were camping in Redneckville when they saw fireworks

>> Darin: Everything is Golf Carty.

>> Mike: Everybody's drinking. Every golf cart has in the cup holder a beer, or a canned wine, which I didn't know was a thing until this weekend. But they had canned wine. Best drink, a couple of canned wines.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Our kids. At one point, we lost track of our kids. We think they went next door to the other. One of the other RVs. To cornhole. Uhhuh.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And then somebody said, hey, you want to go around on the golf cart?

>> Darin: Wait, they were playing cornhole in an rv?

>> Mike: No, no, no. That's a big damn no. In a lot with an rv. Like they already had like camping lots.

>> Darin: Okay, okay.

>> Mike: It's called camping, but it's basically. I mean, you're kind of in the woods, but I don't know, it's camping. Park in your rv, you're not really camping anyway. They're playing cornhole over there. And then we, all the adults decide we're going to go on a roam around Redneckville in the golf cart. So we all pile into this thing and as we're driving away, we see my kids come out of the woods from where they were next door. And we realized we didn't tell them where we were going, how long we were going to be gone. And the last thing I saw as we were driving away was Andrew's confused, like, raising up his hands. Like, what are you. Were you. Let me remind you, I have a 13 year old and a 7 year old. we just left them there and we just drove away and we're rolling. We thought we were going to be gone for about five minutes. About a half hour later, we're thinking we should probably get back, get back.

>> Darin: There in case legal, gets involved with this. Who were the kids with?

>> Mike: other kids.

>> Darin: Okay, that's helping your case.

>> Mike: I think there was. There may have been an adult or two left behind.

>> Darin: An adult that you do. Like a family member.

>> Mike: You know, when he was coming out of the woods, you know what flashed through my head? What is, this is probably what Lord of the Flies look like. When they came up and the kids came out of the woods, it was all kids. So we drive over, but we scoped out where we were going to watch the fireworks and we walked back to that with the kids because we don't want to drive, the golf cart out there because that's irresponsible. So we walk, we walk back with the kids, and they were awesome fireworks because there's, there's Big Bear Lake and then there's what they call Little Bear.

>> Darin: Okay, so all catchy type.

>> Mike: So Big Bear fireworks, that's where all the tourists go, right? the locals and the townies and the hardcore redneck folks.

>> Darin: Right, right.

>> Mike: Like me. Yeah, we go to Little Bear because at Little Bear they're a little less, strange fireworks. You all, they're a little less safety conscious with the fireworks. And you can still see Big Bear fireworks.

>> Darin: Hey, watch this.

>> Mike: So, yeah, you'd see, like, the Big Bear fireworks shoot up. And they were like, professional big. And then you see, like, a Roman, candle from Little Bear, and you see, like, a big professional thing.

>> Darin: It's like I'm sitting with Michael Winslow, the guy from the police academy doing. Doing these insane sound effects.

>> Mike: But they shot him over near. And, like, we got hit with shrapnel. I got hit in the ear. Something hit me in the air. I thought I was shot at first because it's. You know. And then I turn around to, Andrew, and I'm like, are you getting hit by a shrapnel? He's like, yeah, something just hit me in the head. And then I thought, well, thank God I have glasses to protect my eyes, huh? And then I noticed my kids don't have glasses. Honey, they can learn self reliance. Close your eyes when the fireworks go up to save your sight.

>> Darin: Okay?


If the Walking Dead happened, those are the people that are going to survive

Okay.

>> Mike: All right. So that was Big Bear Lake. I love Big Bear Lake. And I told Bess, and for some reason, she laughed at this. I said, I think I could be a redneck. I think I could do it. Like, I could fit in. Like, if the world. If the Walking Dead happened, or Mad Max happened, those are the people that are going to survive. You realize that New York's gone.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: All the urban. Every center, every city center is done in the first five minutes. When the sound monsters come in a quiet place, those places are gone. It's the hillbillies that live.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I told Bess they know where to hide. I told her I have a certain set of skills.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And when that happens, I have the redneck accent. Now she tells people that she's from West Virginia. I am from. I feel like Bane, you know? You merely adopted the redneck.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I was born in it. You know that. I feel like that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I could be that guy. I could just bull my way through that. Now, when it came time to hunt or fish.

>> Darin: Right. Screwed.

>> Mike: I'm screwed.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: They'll find me out, and I'll be the first one when they. When they can. When they turn into cannibals, I'll be the first one on the stick. But I'm just hoping that we can survive, on the other people for. For a while now.

>> Darin: You see, I was born in Indiana. We moved from there when I was around three.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: and I lived in Virginia.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I went from north to south.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: A night and day difference between Lafayette Indiana and Belfast, Virginia, where I was raised. Belfast, Virginia. There was nothing to do. There's still nothing to do. There's no stop signs. There's no street lights. There's nothing. There's no paint on the roads.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: it's a gravel road. The only thing to do in Belfast, Virginia, at night is watch the sun go away and pray that it comes back. And pray that you survive.

>> Mike: Yeah. You know, that's how it is in, Transylvania.

>> Darin: And whenever I go to Virginia, still they don't know my name. Well, nobody knows my name, but I'm still referred to as. You're Marvin's boy, aren't you?

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm Marvin's boy. Yeah. Ah, there you go. So that was the night, the daytime we went. Our birthday present was to go to. There's a ski lodge near there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And we went. And they have skiing as you would at a ski lodge, and they have, what they call the alpine coaster. It's a roller coaster down the mountain.

>> Darin: I've been on one of these where.

>> Mike: You controlled brakes yourself.

>> Darin: It's right in the middle. Right.

>> Mike: Well, this one it was on. They were on the side.

>> Darin: Oh, yes, yes.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: Scared the bejesus.

>> Mike: Well, here's the thing. We're all talking about how. No, I ain't gonna use the brake. Ain't nobody using the brake. You know me and brother, all you got to use the brake.

>> Darin: You do.

>> Mike: Because I. I'm not proud of this.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I'm rather large compared to the average person.

>> Darin: Right.


You can go down a roller coaster without breaking any bones, right

>> Mike: Let's say. Okay. I'm not. Take me out of the house with a crane.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Yet.

>> Darin: No. I need to help Mike get off the couch.

>> Mike: I've hit the point where it's less about looking good in the clothes and more about making sure they cover all the skin up that needs to be covered.

>> Darin: I hear you.

>> Mike: You know what I mean?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm there. I still have some jeans up there from the glory days where it's like, hey, I look pretty good in these jeans. Them days are gone.

>> Darin: Fit one leg in.

>> Mike: Now I'm in the. I'm pretty sure all of my ass cheek goes into this side of these jeans. That's where I am.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I'm going around one of these curves on the alpine coaster, and I started to come out of the cart, and the only reason I hit the, Like I froze. The only reason I hit the brake is because I was holding onto it to death.

>> Darin: Grip.

>> Mike: And when I came.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Was coming out, it, like, slowed me down. So I get through the thing and I'm thinking, I don't see how anybody. Now. Maybe it's because I'm large.

>> Darin: Mm.

>> Mike: There's no way I can go down that thing without breaking. I'll die.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Yeah. So I get down to the end.

>> Darin: You don't die. You'll break every bone in your body.

>> Mike: Yeah. I get down to the end of it and I get out and then I find out, oh, yeah, somebody died on that thing a few years ago. They just didn't break.

>> Darin: Sure he did.

>> Mike: Like. Well, that would have been nice to know before I went on it, back when we were in line talking about how we aren't going to. We weren't going to break.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Yeah. Letting our kids know, hey, don't break, or you're a big wimp. And then we all go down and everybody.

>> Darin: You can go down like a man or you can break like a pansy.

>> Mike: Good luck.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. So I broke like a pansy.

>> Darin: Yeah. I don't blame you.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So last time I rode one, I hit the brakes too.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I was riding it with my kid and he kept. Go faster, go faster. Like new. No, not at all.

>> Mike: Now you need to learn about inertia and momentum.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: People like us. Mm.

>> Mike: We've got to stop at some point.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And that can hurt.

>> Darin: Yeah. Ah, it's scary.

>> Mike: Yeah. It was very scary.

>> Darin: Because at least.

>> Mike: At least in a roller coaster, like.

>> Darin: An inch off the ground, right?

>> Mike: Yeah. At least in a roller coaster, there's a sense I always rely on. Well, they know what they're doing, you know?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I feel like I'm about to die. But somebody somewhere did a calculation on this.

>> Darin: They've got this. But on this one, they went to roller coaster school. Yeah.

>> Mike: In this one, your life is literally in your hands.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's like right there.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Home of the Million Dollar Guarantee.


My car needed an oil change, but I don't know how

>> Darin: I've got a funny story about my car.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: It, it needed an oil change.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I suspected that might have been what was part of the problem, but when I was driving it, it was kind of revving while. I'm not revving.

>> Mike: That's not good.

>> Darin: No, it's not.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Not like horrible, but just enough to, You know, just enough to make a noise, so.

>> Mike: And you don't change your own oil in your car?

>> Darin: No, I don't know how to do that.

>> Mike: I don't either.

>> Darin: I do not.

>> Mike: I. I think I can.

>> Darin: I know how.

>> Mike: I know how it works, but I don't do it.

>> Darin: I can put oil in my car.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I know how to put wiper fluid in the car. I know how to put gas in the car.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: That's about all the mechanical things I know. I can change a tire.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I can change a flat tire.

>> Mike: I changed my headlight bulbs.

>> Darin: I used to be able to do that.

>> Mike: I was so proud of my. I was walking around the house.

>> Mike: Bare chested. Yeah, I did that. Yeah, I did that.

>> Darin: I used to be able to do that. one of my older cars, you know, you could get right behind it and get in there and then they. I don't know. It's like we had a van and you had to remove part of the. The headboard to get in there. I was like, that's. That's above my pay grade. Anyway, I'm driving, actually. Jacob is driving and I'm in the car with him and the car starts doing that. And I said, hey, Jacob, you hear that noise? And he listens and I'm like, did you hear that? And he goes, yeah. I said, what do you think that is? And he says, I think it's the car. Like, I know it's the car. He doesn't know anything about cars.

>> Mike: No, that's like the perfect answer to that question.

>> Darin: I think. I think it's the car.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. I would have been a. I would have been like, that's the sound of inevitability or something. I would have tried to pull a Marvel quote out of that.

>> Darin: But that's the sound of $400 right there.

>> Mike: That's a story.

>> Darin: Yeah, that's a story.

>> Mike: That looks like one of my stories.

>> Darin: I know, right?


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>> Mike: I went to Tudor's Biscuit World, as I do every time I go to West Virginia. I go to Tudor's Biscuit World. You're about to ask. You're either going to start whistling or you're going to ask, what is Tudor's Biscuit?

>> Darin: No, I'm going to ask, when are you going to bring me back some biscuits from Tudors?

>> Mike: They don't. They don't travel well, really. There's a, soggy. No, they just stale. Like, you know, pizza, cold pizza or day old pizza is good.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: But pizza fresh out of the thing.

>> Darin: Is a thousand times better.

>> Mike: Yeah. it's what Tudor's Biscuits are like.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I can eat a frozen, cold Tudor's Biscuit because I know what the glory of a fresh Tudor's Biscuit is.

>> Darin: Gotcha.

>> Mike: So I can take myself back to that place. You have no frame of reference, so you shouldn't experience Tutor's Biscuits. That world. But I digress. And, there. There's also. There's a Tudor's Biscuit World. I understand that went in. In Dayton.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Yeah, I've heard of it. Or Kettering. So one of these days we'll do an irritable dad syndrome trip. Yeah, I'll call it that. Because I just want to get a choose biscuit.

>> Darin: I think anytime you and I go somewhere, it'll be an irritable dad syndrome event.

>> Mike: So I'm in the Tudor's Biscuit.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: mine is the Golden Eagle, for those of us who listen, and go to Tudor's Biscuit World. And that's Canadian bacon, which is a fancy way of saying ham.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: A potato patty, which is a fancy way of saying hash brown.

>> Darin: A hash brown.

>> Mike: an egg, which is a fancy way of saying an egg.

>> Darin: American.

>> Mike: cheese.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: On a biscuit. That and the biscuit has. I think the. Each biscuit has about a stick of butter in the biscuit itself. These things are amazing.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Best can't stand.

>> Darin: And this is called the Golden Shower.

>> Mike: Yes, this is the Golden Eagle. Oh, the Golden. Yeah. So they all have a lot of West Virginia themed names. Golden Eagle is not one of them. But they have the Thundering Herd.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: They have the Mountaineer.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: They have all these different biscuits and then they have. For people that don't know where they.

>> Darin: Are, do they have the John Denver?

>> Mike: no.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But they have, like, pancakes and stuff for people who can't commit. by the way, side story, I don't know if I've told it, and it doesn't really matter. I told you, I come from a somewhat rednecky area.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: So Bess came back. The first time she came back to my, hometown with me, when we were dating, I took her to Tudor's Biscuit World, because that's. Everyone should go there. And, she goes in and she says, do they have anything besides biscuits? And I stopped at the door, and I should have turned her around and left right then. Okay. But I didn't.

>> Darin: It's like Chevy chasing the three amigos. Do you have anything besides Mexican food?

>> Mike: So we go in, and sure enough, they have hot dogs.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay. Now, Bess claims she's from West Virginia. She grew up in Morgantown.


In her world, you get chili on, um, the hot dog

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: That's not real West Virginia.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I mean, it kind of. parts of it definitely are, technically. Might I point to earlier in the episode, Big Bear Lake. That's definitely West Virginia.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: It's not right there in Morgantown.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Anyhow, where she's from, her world, she was born in Pittsburgh. Her world, you get a hot dog, and you get chili on, the hot dog. Right, right. She comes into the Tudor's Biscuit World in Procterville, Ohio, and she says, I'd like a hot dog. And they say, okay. And she says, what kind of sauce comes on that hot dog? And they said, hot dog sows. And I did exactly what you're. What you're doing right there. And I kind of pointed at her. At. I pointed at her and laughed a little bit like that.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And they. Because I didn't want them to kill us both if there was a chance that I could walk out of there with my life, I wanted to be able to do that.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: but anyway, so you can order those type of things, but you're expected to get a biscuit. So we're in there. I take Charlie in there.

>> Darin: Does the hot dog come on a biscuit?

>> Mike: No, no, no, no, no. Just a regular hot dog on a hot dog bun. And they don't. They're not known for hot dogs. So I guarantee you. And there's a Kroger down the street. I guarantee you that when someone orders a hot dog, they're just getting hot dog buns. And. Like, the hot dogs from the Kroger. From Kroger. And. And a literal can of what's called hot dog sauce. They pour it on, they give it to you, and they talk about you.

>> Darin: This is probably for the. For the picky kid.

>> Mike: Yeah. So I noticed. I'm going to digress again. I noticed the last time I went there in Dr. Bill, they're using gloves now. But back in the day, they never use gloves.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Anyway, I grew up like that.

>> Darin: And I turned out fine.

>> Mike: Exactly. So me and Charlie are in the Tudor's Biscuit World in Morgantown. And we look up and there's an abomination sitting on the ledge.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I took a picture of it, and that's. It's on, all of our social media. Oh, I'm gonna put it on Irritable dad syndrome dot com.

>> Darin: I saw it.

>> Mike: Now, I think those two black things are armholes. I think somebody's supposed to wear the biscuit. Wearing the biscuit.

>> Darin: That can't possibly be.

>> Mike: I don't. Because if those are eyes, that thing is a monster from the pit of hell.

>> Darin: Yeah, it looks like. And I. Because I commented, it looks like the thing in Dark Night of the Scarecrow.

>> Mike: It does.

>> Darin: It's creepy as hell.

>> Mike: I think those are armholes.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: that.

>> Darin: Taunting me in my sleep.

>> Mike: Yeah, I would love to have that biscuit thing. So my dream for this podcast is we get so popular that Tudor's Biscuit World just sends me that.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I'll wear it. Yeah, I'll wear it.

>> Darin: You'll wear that with your spongebob onesie.

>> Mike: Oh.


Dave Lay says he's missed working from home after 15 months

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome is brought to you by Whompers All Beef Footlong Hot Dogs. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and I have a man sized hunger. When I get a craving for hot dogs, the only hot dogs for me are Whompers. Whompers are made with 100% pure beef with no fillers and no preservatives. Whoppers are perfect with chili, cheese and onions, or if you're a woman, ketchup, get a ruler and measure it yourself. If your Whopper's Hot dog isn't a foot long, they'll refund your money, guaranteed. So be a man. Don't settle for anything less than Whompers All Beef Foot Long Hot Dogs.

>> Darin: I worked from home for 15 months, but for the past couple of weeks, I've been back at the office. Now, I've missed working from home. Okay. my wife and I, we got along great when I worked from home, and it was awesome walking from the bedroom into the dining room in my shorts and my flip flops. And that's my commute.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, the extra hour of sleep, I missed that.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: one of the things that's been great going back to the office is some of the conversations that I've had.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I've missed.

>> Mike: Who the hell are you? Did you get that one?

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: No, I had one guy that said, first the cicadas come back and now you. I'm like, thanks, Paul. Thanks a lot. Nice to see you. So I'm talking to this woman who I work with. actually, I'm walking past her to go get coffee, and she says, hey, Darren, come here. So I walk over to her office and her glasses are busted. She says, I'm falling apart. I broke my glasses. I can't do anything today. I'm falling apart. And I said, okay. Like, okay. I'm glad I walked over here for that.

>> Mike: Thanks.

>> Darin: And then she said, I almost killed myself yesterday. I said, jesus, What? What happened? She says, I was eating rice.

>> Mike: What happened? What happened?

>> Darin: Hey, what happened? She said, I was eating rice. I said, rice? She goes, yeah, I'm eating a meal and I've got rice with it. And I'm eating, and I choked on literally three pieces of rice. That's not. I'm on the phone.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: While she was, like, woofing something down, and her friend's like, do I need to call 911? Do I need to come over there? She's like, no, no. You know, she's just a, fine Lord. And she. She says, and these are her words, I don't want to die choking on rice. If I'm going to die choking, it's going to be on a roast beef sandwich like Mama Cass.

>> Mike: Oh, look. That's awesome.

>> Darin: It's so awesome.


We have lots of Kroger stories. We love to go to the Kroger

So later in the day, I'm talking to another woman, okay. And I'm telling her about my son Jacob, and how he started getting into a lot of the music that Daddy listens to.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He's been listening to Offspring. He's been listening to Metallica.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: He's been, I came home and he's jamming to the Four Horsemen. He was listening to Iron Maiden. Where did you. Where did you get this? I learned it from listening to you, dad. Don't tell your mother that. You know, so I'm telling her this, and she tells me that her little son has started listening to Weezer, or the Weezers, as my mom calls them.

>> Mike: She's been listening to I Got a Case of the Weezers.

>> Darin: And she said her son's favorite song is the Sweater song.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But she says she doesn't like it because he keeps calling it the hey, mom, will you play the I'll Soon Be Naked song?

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome now with anti cavity protection.

>> Mike: While we were in the West Virginia, the West Virginia, you know, so we have Kroger stories. We love to have. We love to go to the Kroger.

>> Darin: I do.

>> Mike: Because stuff happens at Kroger.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: I mean, stuff goes down at the Kroger.

>> Darin: Yes, it does.

>> Mike: For years, I would come home and I would tell best stories of things that happened to me at Kroger, and she refused to believe that those things were always happening to me. And I. Right, because you said the same thing with you and Libby.

>> Darin: Yep.

>> Mike: It's like, how can the same. It's like John McClain in Die, Hard to. Has the same happen to the same guy twice as stuff keep happening.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So I don't have a Kroger story. I have a Giant eagle story.

>> Darin: Okay. Giant eagle is a West Virginia grocery store.

>> Mike: I guess. I don't know.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: It's there. So we had to get a cake. It was. It was Bess's mom's birthday.

>> Darin: Okay. Happy birthday. Bess's mom.

>> Mike: Her name's Teresa.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But it's spelled like Teresa.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay. She's never had problems like what you have, which I think is hilarious.

>> Darin: Kidding me? I was just gonna ask.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: When she puts her name down at Chick Fil A, do they say Teresa?

>> Mike: Yeah. No. Well, I don't know what they say.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Anyway, so we go, and it's my job to get the cake. I'm gonna walk in and get the cake, like, cold. We didn't order it. Nothing. I'm walking in and I'm gonna come out with a cake.

>> Darin: You're ordering it. You're going to go in and buy a cake without pre ordering nothing? anything. Okay.

>> Mike: I'm told you can do this.

>> Darin: I've done it.

>> Mike: I go in there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I see a cake. Now it's Fourth of July. She was born on the Fourth of July.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Kind of like. Yeah. Tom Cruise. Yeah.

>> Darin: What was the name of that movie.

>> Mike: He was in about that?

>> Darin: Yes, it was, It was something. Something. Hey, I'm a. I'm a Marine. What's it called?

>> Mike: It's. I think it's called, hey, I'm a Marine.

>> Darin: Yeah.


Robo goes to Kroger to pick up a cake for Teresa's birthday

Or Tom Cruise.

>> Mike: Lieutenant Dan Got his legs. Yeah. Yeah. I called the cake lady over.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Now remember, okay. Bess is in the car with the kids and a dog. I'm supposed to be in there getting a cake. I'm supposed to be gone for five minutes.

>> Darin: She trusted you to go in by yourself.

>> Mike: Yeah. And I picked a cake. I picked a cake.

>> Darin: That was her first mistake.

>> Mike: I picked a Cake that had a shooting star on it. And I said, don't you know that you. Yeah, we gotta finish this episode sometime.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: and I said, can you write things on there? And she said, she said, yeah. And I said, I said this without an appointment. She's like, yeah, we can just tell me what you want on it and I'll write it on there. And I was like, happy birthday, Teresa. And it's spelled. And I said this. T E R E S A. Okay. She said, okay. She went back, she wrote it, and she wrote it. She finished. Then she came over and she's like, how did you spell, Teresa? And I told her, she went back, she looked at the cake for a while. She came back over to me. She said, give me a minute.

>> Darin: I was like, okay, that's never good.

>> Mike: Never good. I don't know what she. I was like, I'm like, how is she gonna. Like, she gonna scoop it off? It's gonna look weird.

>> Darin: But she fixed it, okay?

>> Mike: She fixed it. So I go through now. I'm already kind of. It's. It's. I've used up my five minutes. This whole span of this story is taking five minutes. Okay? So I'm on borrowed time. I go to get like little, little plates and knives and forks. So I'm going over the time, but not that much. I go up to. There's. There's lanes where people are getting stuff. and they're like, they're. I don't know what they're doing. I don't know if they think the apocalypse is coming, but they've got their carts like overflowing with stuff.

>> Darin: What's fourth of July?

>> Mike: Okay, so every self checkout aisle is open. So I go to self checkout.

>> Darin: I hate the self checkout.

>> Mike: Okay? And I scan, you know, because that's what I do with the Kroger. I scan it and it starts. It says something like, thank you for Shut up. Right? Welcome, Kroger member, whatever. And I just do the thing. This one, it said, please scan your giant eagle something card. And I look and there's no, there's no option for. I don't have a giant eagle something card.

>> Darin: Okay?

>> Mike: So I just put the thing in the bag and I scan the next thing. Stop. Please scan your giant eagle. What is it, Robo? I pull it out, I do it again and it said, please just keep saying that. And I'm like, ah, what the hell? So I go in the only lane that doesn't have a lot of People, huh? Is the tobacco where you go get the cigarettes? The lady with the cigarette rack, like you say, there's a guy in front of me. Now I am, This is. Now I'm eight to ten minutes.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Into a five minute trip. So at this point, Bess and the kids and the dog, they're convinced that you've left them. They're a little annoyed.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: This next conversation is burned in my brain.

>> Darin: Okay, okay, okay.

>> Mike: So there's a guy in front of me and he's trying to get the lady behind the counter.


You say you were influenced by peer pressure to start smoking

The lady whose job it is to sell cigarettes to people.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: That's why they put her there.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: That's the one lane that has cigarettes.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: That's her job.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: He wants a certain type of Camel. Okay, well, let me see. I don't really know what the brands are. Let me see if I can find that. You said Camel. What? And he tells her again. And he's just, he's directing her. You know, it's three up. it's, it's two over. Two over thing these things. Yeah, yeah, those. And I want. And she puts one down and he's like, I need two of those. Wow. Well, I never smoked myself. I don't really know much about cigarettes. I never did get a taste for it. I just, I mean, I saw people do it and I know people get addicted, but I just never really had a taste for cigarette smoke myself. Now I got my vices, let me tell you, I got a sweet tooth. And I got other things that I like to do, but smoking just never was one of them. Now my sister, now she smokes, but I never seen her spoke one of these things. So I back there while this is all going, and he said, yeah, I know, I know, I know how it is. You know, I was, I was peer pressured into it. You were peer pressured? So was it your friends or your. And I'm in the back, like, what is going on? So just. So the covers, I want you to feel the real timeness of the conversation. So you're, you're, you were. You had people that kind of egged you on into smoking. So what? Peer pressure.

>> Darin: And you're like, that's what peer pressure is.

>> Mike: They, they all smoked and I felt like if I was going to hang around them, I needed to smoke. So I just, I just picked up. Well, how'd you end up getting these? Camel. What are they? Camel. And I don't know what it was. Ultra light something. How did you get into them? I can't. Can you tell the taste difference between them? I am. I am close to snap it. I'm close to snap it in the back. It's driving me crazy. Can I just buy my cake? So he finally see, he says, ah. He's like, he gave. He's like, no, I did just. I. That's my preference. She's like, well, okay then. Well, it looks like it's going to be 840. Wow, those are expensive. I can't believe they cost that much. I couldn't afford to have a habit like that. What you gonna pay with credit? Honey, is that a credit card? Let me see that. Oh, that's got a chip in it. Now you got to put that chip. There you go. Put it right up in there. Okay, now it's going to air.


A lot of people get mad at me over that thing. People come in here, they can't answer questions

You gay? answer those questions. Boy, let me tell you, we get. People come in here, they can't answer them questions. They just go on and they get mad at me. And a lot of people get mad at me over that thing. And I'm sitting there thinking, lady, it ain't that. it's not. That's not what they're getting mad at you about. He gets, he finishes the thing. He's like, well, here's your cigarettes now. Good luck with the rest of your day. You doing anything today? And he's walking away, and I want to see some fireworks. Well, that's what people do today. And she turns around. Hi, honey.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Oh, it's somebody's birthday today. Is it Teresa? Yeah, that's. That's my mother in law's birthday. Ain't that sweet? You're buying your mother in law cake?

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Looks like he got some knives and forks here and some play. Yeah, listen, I don't want to be rude.

>> Darin: My wife love to get this cake.

>> Mike: To her before she dies. Now, for some reason, she left the cake back. You know, they. They cross the things over. They cross over the scanner thing and they put it over where you take it, right? That happened with everything except for the cake. And I come over to where the pay thing is, and the lady behind me shoves her cart damn near right up on my hip. Now I can't get to my cake. Oh, okay. So I tell her. I was like, I really, I don't want to be rude. I just. My wife and dog and kids are in the car, and this is supposed to be a short trip. Is it her birthday today? You got to get it over there. I bet she's having a nice party. Now that you're bringing her to this cake, how does she go? I don't know how well, she's. Is it. Is that a credit card? No, it's a debit card. Oh, debit card. Now you gotta put in. You gotta put in your pen and I understand. Well, you go ahead, honey. I do the thing. She's like, looks like it's gonna go through. She's like. And she hands me the receipt. I've already got the bag in my head. She hands me the receipt. I take it, and I. The lady behind me who looks like, throw mama from the train. You remember that lady? Throw mama from the train. I was like, can you. I need to get this cake. And she's like, what? I need to get the. Can you back up so I can get the cake, honey, he needs to get his cake for his mother in law, and it's right there in front of your car. Can you move back? And lady gives you. And by then I've already reached over, I've grabbed the cake. She's still talking to the lady, and the last thing I hear is, you have a fast. Boy, they're doing that. Jesus. I get out there and the whole walk from the front of the store, to the car is like, I cannot wait until I get the question.


Libby and I moved up here in October of 99

What took you so long? I can't wait for it. And you know how you just said you send yourself texts?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: That's when I made that little file, the rundown. I wrote that down. I was like, that is the story for the week from me. Oh, my God.

>> Darin: I've never had one go on that long before. She didn't care.

>> Mike: She just kept going.

>> Darin: I mean, like a few weeks ago, I was at the Kroger, and the girl was running the register, and she asked, did you find everything okay? And this is like the second time where I had to tell somebody that I didn't. And I said, no. I couldn't find the cereal bars that my wife likes. And she goes, is all hell gonna break loose?

>> Mike: I think it is. Oh.

>> Darin: Libby and I moved up here in October of 99, and my mom came up to visit, I believe in November. And so mom was scared to death of this town. She was absolutely scared to death. And, you know, the philosophy was, wherever we go, you're driving. And, so we're driving around and I'm showing her a few places that I know I wasn't hip enough to. It's like I knew where a few of the Hotspots were, But we're driving and driving and I need gas and I'm on what's not necessarily the best part of town.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So I pull into this gas station. You could not pay outside, so I had to go in to get, you know, put $10 on pump three.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: This is one of those gas stations that has the bulletproof window where you slide the, the money underneath the thing.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And so there's four people in line ahead of me, and mom is sitting out in the car with the doors locked. So there's. The first person goes up there and gets his cigarettes and whatever leaves. The second person is gonna buy, a drink and something else. The third person is this guy and he's got a 40 ounce. Okay. And he's kind of twitchy, he's kind of, he's kind of dancing a little bit. He's kind of ready to go.

>> Mike: It wasn't Colt 45, was it?

>> Darin: No, close.

>> Mike: OK.

>> Darin: He's kind of, he's ready to go. Getting ready to, you know. You know. And he turns around while he's waiting, and he looks at me, he goes, I shouldn't drink King cobra. He says, when I drink King cobra, I get wet and wild. And I'm like, okay. He's just, he's just twitching and he's dancing and. And I'm like, you just, you go.

>> Mike: We're clear.

>> Darin: You go ahead.

>> Mike: He's next.

>> Darin: You're next.

>> Mike: You go ahead.

>> Darin: So he buys it and he tells the guy I went, wow, he's ready to go. And he leaves. And I, I put $10 down for my pup. And I told my mom, I said, boy, you should have been in there. And she's like, I'm good. Take me, Take me back to your house.

>> Mike: Give me the hell out of.

>> Darin: She did not want to see that guy.


Jim Timmerman hired me. I believe I told the story about the interview process

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome is brought to you by Hill's Department Store. Hills is where the toys are. Now back to you guys in the studio.

>> Darin: Jim Timmerman. We've mentioned him several times.

>> Mike: He keeps putting our. He keeps putting our show on his show on his show. That's awesome.

>> Darin: Yes. He promotes us on planking with Jim.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I used to work with Jim. Jim, hired me. I believe I told the story of Jim Timmerman.

>> Mike: Hired you?

>> Darin: Yeah, I believe I told the story about, the interview process.

>> Mike: So I get. It would help if I listened to this podcast.

>> Darin: I'll tell the story again.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Jim's interviewing me.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he asks me, where do you see yourself in five years? And I'm answering that question.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then he said, tell me what control track is. So I'm telling him about control track, which, when you're editing on a tape, your tape, you can start at zero, and then it runs up seconds or frames. Seconds, minutes to hours. And that's how you know how far into the tape you are. So I'm describing that, and he said, oh, you know, Darren knows what control track is. And then he says, what are your feelings on climbing a ladder? So I started telling him that, you know, when I left Johnson City, Tennessee, I was a, promotions manager. I had an office. And then, you know, when I'm moving here, I'm going to be a production assistant.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Which is, you know, yes, it's a step down, but I see it more as a lateral move because it pays more. And he just says, I'm going to stop you right there. I'm asking, can you climb a ladder? Like to change a light? Are you afraid of heights? And my face is blood red. I'm like, yeah, I can. Yeah, I can climb a lap.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: M. That's. That's totally fine. So embarrassed.

>> Mike: I like him, so.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: Good guy.

>> Darin: Anyway, so he's my boss. He also was a director, and he would fill in whenever one of our main directors was on vacation.

>> Mike: He's like a spare director.

>> Darin: Exactly.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah. He was vacation relief. Yeah. So he's directing our noon show.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: This noon show happens to be the most boring newscast of all time.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. And Jim is just, like, super bored.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we're about, like, five minutes into it, and he looks to his left, and he said, Casey. She says, yeah. He says, what's, your favorite kind of pie? And she goes, excuse me. What's your favorite kind of pie? And she's. Apple. Oh, apple.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Leonardo. Yeah. Jim, what's your favorite kind of pie? And he's like, pumpkin. Pumpkin pie. Leon likes pumpkin pie. Darren, what's your favorite type of pie? You know, And I'm like, well, I like lemon meringue. Lemon meringue. Okay. And he. He goes through every single person who's on headset. There's like, you know, the people in the back room and all the. And the camera guys are like, oh, what's your paper pipe? You know, just, you know. And then by the time, we were done with the newscast. And that's a wrap, and thanks, everybody, and have a great day. So that's awesome.


Many times on the podcast, I've mentioned that I make commercials for a living

Still to this day, Anytime I watch a live newscast, I wonder, what is the director and the guys talking about?

>> Mike: Headset.

>> Darin: Because the headset chatter was one of the greatest things about working live. And that's true story. So I've got a behind the scenes story for you.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I like those, actually, I have a few.

>> Mike: I enjoy those immensely.

>> Darin: Many times on the podcast, I've mentioned that I make commercials for a living.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: So many years ago, I was approached by a company. They wanted me to make a commercial for them. They're a funeral home. I've never made a commercial for a funeral home before. Right.

>> Mike: One would think that that's an industry that doesn't really need advertising.

>> Darin: Right, right. That's what I'm thinking. So anyway, they approached us, they wanted to do a commercial, and I wrote a script and I was going to go down there and shoot some video of their funeral home. They said, we're not ready for you to come down here yet. We're having new carpet put in and we're going to do paint the walls. I'm like, okay, let me know when you're ready, and then I will come and I will shoot video.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: For you.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So we finally get the thing, the email that says, we're ready on this date. So I put them on my calendar. I get the camera ready and the lights and everything I need, and I go to this funeral home. I'm walking up and, this funeral home's a little run down.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: A little bit.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's some boards, on the. On the yard.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's some, There's evidence that some construction has gone on.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Okay. So I go up to the front door. There's no doorknob.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: You can literally put your fingers through the hole where a doorknob was.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Open the door.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And I walked in.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Okay. They said they were carpeting, and they said that they were going to paint the walls.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There was a guy there still painting the wall. The carpet. Yeah. The carpet had been placed down, but they hadn't vacuumed. They hadn't, yeah. Swept anything.

>> Mike: So the place wasn't very photogenic. No. At, this moment?

>> Darin: Not at all. Okay. Now, they've put carpet in every room and they've painted every room. They haven't put furniture back.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: In any rooms. So this is an abandoned funeral, Like.

>> Mike: A kill house in Goodfellas or something.

>> Darin: Yeah, exactly.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So I get, the guy and I said, now this is my fault. I assumed that there was going to be employees there. I assumed that there was going to be a doorknob. I assumed that it would be, presentable, which it wasn't.

>> Mike: You work in a visual medium.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So it's not unheard of for you to show up at a. At a shoot.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And expect what's there to be.

>> Darin: What. What the client would want to see.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. So I said, okay, maybe the other rooms are up to snuff.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they weren't. So he shows me one room. This is where the people meet. And we go over what type of funeral plans that they have an empty room. And then over in this room, this is a waiting area. If we have overflow, if there's too many people for. Okay.


My first high definition shoot was an empty room that I had to ask

An empty room. No furniture.

>> Mike: Yeah. It's going to use a meth head for a toothpaste commercial. Just. There's not much you can use there.

>> Darin: Yeah. And then we go into the main room where, they would have the giant. The gathering. Okay. Empty room. I asked a question that I've never asked before or since.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: At any of my commercial shoots or any other time in my life. I said, do you have a casket that we can wheel in here? And he says, oh, yeah, we can bring in a casket. I was like, okay, do that. and like, you know, so I'm shooting empty rooms, and I. The majority of the commercial was this casket. And then they had one flower arrangement, so I couldn't shoot the outside.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because it was.

>> Mike: You had no doorknob.

>> Darin: No doorknob.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And there's boards in the yard.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I did get a shot of their sign out in the yard.

>> Mike: Okay. That was.

>> Darin: I mean, imagine M. The crazy thing was, this was so long ago. This was the very first commercial I ever shot in hd. So my first.

>> Mike: You really would have been able to see that doorknob.

>> Darin: My first high definition shoot was an empty room that I had to ask.

>> Mike: To put a casket in.

>> Darin: There was another time I'm shooting a commercial.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And they're having the commercial shot at the zoo. And they've arranged for us to be outside of the tank where Fiona the hippo lives. Okay. Fiona the hippo was born at the Cincinnati Zoo. She is known worldwide. Everybody knows she is one of Cincinnati's favorite daughters. So everybody loves Fiona the hippo.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: So we're shooting this commercial outside of the tank with Fiona the hippo, and there's two guys in the commercial, and we're getting all.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: What's called when you have two people in a Shot. That's called the two shot. So we got all the two shots.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. We have storms coming.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. So we're losing our light, essentially. And, we're also running out of time because one of the guys has to go and get to a meeting.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So we're under pressure.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: A storm's coming, and these two guys, God love them, they keep messing up their lines. So we're shooting again and again and again. We get all the two shots. Now we need to get the close ups.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So I'm getting a close up of one of the guys. And like I said, I'm outside of Fiona. The hippos tank. He's standing there, he's reading his lines, and a giant piece of hippo starts floating behind his head. I had to stop him.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I said, I need you to move. And he moves.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And he screws up his line. And then he starts his line again. And the hippo starts floating by his head again. I stop and had to move him again. And he starts getting frustrated. He's like, why do you keep moving me? And I said, because you have a giant piece of hippo behind your head. I'm out in the backyard. This is like a week or two ago. And this really pretty cat.

>> Mike: Like, is it a raccoon?

>> Darin: The skin looked like it was almost like a leopard.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: I was like this. I've never seen the, the markings on a cat. Like, this cat. Cat was really friendly. Walks up, starts rubbing on my leg.

>> Dave: I'm like.

>> Darin: I'm like, no, no, no, I don't need that.


Darren says none of his neighbors have a cat

We're not keeping you. Doesn't have a collar at all. I'm like, no.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so. But the cat's being really sweet. I'm like, how big was it? Cats sized?

>> Mike: Punible.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yes. It's about football size.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because they can land. I mean, you could throw one off the Empire State Building. They land on their feet and they're fine.

>> Darin: But. Yeah. So I was like, well, you know kitty. Hi, I'm Darren. You're in my yard. And I know my neighbors don't have a cat. Chris and Mary don't. Gary and Nancy don't. Chris and Mary don't have cats. Robin, Kelly don't have a cat. No, they don't. They've got a dog. Sadie.

>> Mike: Oh, that's right.

>> Darin: So none of my three adjoining neighbors have a cat.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That I. That I know of.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so I texted people, no, we're in the, we've got a Reserves of Liberty Facebook page. Hey, anybody lost their cat? It turns out it does belong to this guy. I reached out to try to pet this thing. Scratches me.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Get out of.

>> Mike: Now you're going to have powers. You're going to start.

>> Darin: I'm going to have cat powers.

>> Mike: Yeah. You're going to have your iris. Your pupil is going to.

>> Darin: It'll up and down.

>> Mike: Slanting. Yes.

>> Darin: I'll steal people's breath at night.

>> Mike: Boy, I will kick you in the head with a boot if you come over here with the vertical slit. That's how they can milk out of a bowl in the 80s. That's how you tell that somebody was about to turn into a werewolf. Yeah, well, pooping in a box in the corner, but most people can control that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: M. I don't know what happened. No, I don't like tacos that much. I'm going to talk about how can.

>> Darin: You not like a taco?

>> Mike: I don't. This whole thing. There's somebody on my Facebook that if you look at their page, it's all tacos. It's Taco Tuesday. Life isn't that bad. You've got tacos. I'm like, I don't draw the line at tacos.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: That doesn't get me. If I'm having a day and you give me a taco.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm probably just gonna walk away from the taco.

>> Darin: Really?

>> Mike: Who gives a about a taco?

>> Darin: Wow, your. Your language is just on fire tonight.

>> Mike: Now, nerds, gummies.

>> Darin: My mom is going to want you to settle down on that.

>> Mike: Well, I'm just saying tacos aren't worth.

>> Darin: My thing is, if we're having tacos, I'd rather have a soft shell taco. And if I'm gonna have a soft shell taco, you might as well make that a burrito.

>> Mike: Yeah, make it. Make it because make it human size.

>> Darin: I get frustrated biting into a taco and then everything goes everywhere.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I'm like, a taco is just a.

>> Mike: Fun size burrito and there ain't nothing fun about that size.

>> Darin: No, if you're gonna have a taco, make it a soft shell taco. And then just. Hey, you garcon, bump that up to a burrito for me. Thanks. If you're gonna eat a hard taco, you might as well just crunch it up and put it in a bowl and make a taco salad.

>> Mike: Or throw it on a trash and get a steak.

>> Darin: Do like Ron Swanson.


In Europe, they don't tip. And they get annoyed because the first couple times

Yeah, I'd like a sample, please. May I have another?

>> Mike: Thank You.

>> Darin: Is there a problem? No problem at all. I just want to make sure nobody else eats this.

>> Mike: Phil, in Europe, they don't tip.

>> Darin: No. And people are happier.

>> Mike: Yeah. And they get annoyed because the first couple times I was, I was trying to tip and it's, it's like the same response that you get here. You don't tip.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: You get it there. If you tip. It's like.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Excuse me.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What is this? Yeah, it's a tip. Tip for what? You know, it becomes a, like they get a sense for tat.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I mean. Oh, oh, you're right. You're right. No. Or you're right. Tip for tap. So now I wouldn't be offended if someone just wanted to give me money, but I did hear that they said, yeah, no, that's, that's when we get paid. Yeah, we're good. Yeah.

>> Mike: So now I treat everybody like that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I mean, we're at least as good as the Europeans.

>> Darin: Oh, come on. We're way better than the Europeans. and I say that because very few people in Europe listen to this. And if you are, we do have from Europe. Welcome to irritable dad syndrome. M. Yeah, it's not like Goochland, Virginia. I've got to cut back on the sugars. And I'm telling you, after the holidays and I. If it's in the house, it's gone. Daddy's m eating it. I can't. I've just got to stop allowing it into my house.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So. But then you go crazy if you don't have. You gotta have like, like, Hershey Kisses. Then you have eat one or something to. Because then you're dipping, you're licking your finger, dipping it into the sugar.

>> Mike: And when I was doing really well.

>> Mike: I learned to like dark chocolate. And by like dark chocolate, I mean two things. One is you take a bite of it and you're like, oh, Jesus. But you get a little bit of sweetness in there and it kind of kills your craving.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: The other piece is I ate the dark chocolate that has like the 86% cacao.

>> Darin: Cacao?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It tastes like a Star wars character.

>> Mike: Yeah, we are.

>> Darin: Or they've landed the ship on the desert island of cacao.

>> Mike: If you have that in your house, store it away from your charcoal briquettes.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: Because it tastes the same, you may start eating those. I mean, I think that's good for you. It cleanses out the system. But still it doesn't give. You do not eat, don't eat your charcoal. At least not kind with the fuel on it.

>> Darin: No, don't eat charcoal briquettes.

>> Mike: Ah. yeah.

>> Darin: Mike, shut up. Okay, Don't.

>> Mike: Don't do the other part. You can dip in ranch. Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: You dip anything in ranch. Yeah. What happened? Not me.

>> Mike: It's like you just ran out of gas. It's like. And you're on the side of the road and I'm trying to change your tire. I don't know what to do.

>> Darin: I can't talk. I can't talk. Well, that was fun.


We hope you guys have a very, very happy New Year

>> Mike: That was awesome.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. That episode had pancakes, gerbils. M. It had gerbils.

>> Darin: It had nothing to do with pancakes.

>> Mike: It had the article 4. It was great.

>> Darin: We hope you guys have a very, very happy New Year. And I want to thank you for everything that you've done for us throughout 2024. The reason Mike and I do this podcast is because we love it so much. And, you know, when we get, emails and responses from you guys, it really means the world to us. So happy New Year.

>> Mike: Happy New Year.

>> Darin: And, we will see you in 2025.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is produced and hosted and edited by Mike Odle and Darren Cox Executive Producer Mike Odle Head writer Darren Cox Announcer that's me. I'm Dave Lay. Legal representation Andrew Jackson Gibbons Segment M Cont contributor Jim Timmerman Key grip Steve Farrell wardrobe provided by Botany 500. Thanks for listening.