IDS #242 - My Cinnamon Roll Looks Like a Beaver

Ted: Irritable Dad Syndrome is Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Darin: I overheard a person say, my cinnamon roll looks like a beaver, and I just walked away. I'm like, I don't want to know the story. I don't want to know. That's spooksy. Oh. Do you believe in ghosts, Ted?

>> Mike: I do.

>> Darin: But more importantly, I think they need.

>> Mike: To believe in themselves.

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Hey, use a coaster, damn it. I don't want rings on my coffee table. Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Mike: Hey, I'm Mike.

>> Darin: I'm Darren.

>> Mike: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome. We are Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: If you're not laughing, you're not doing it right.

>> Darin: It's all your fault. This is episode 242. Welcome to the show. How you doing?

>> Mike: I'm, all right. So people that watch us on the stream will note that I am taking alternating sips of coffee and wine. That's where I am. Right? That's where I'm at.

>> Darin: Some of our previous or early. Early episodes used to drink coffee, wine, and you would throw in one of the monster drink. So those got really weird.

>> Mike: So what happened?

>> Darin: I'm drinking ice water.

>> Mike: I'm helping Charlie with his homework.

>> Darin: Oh, my God.

>> Mike: Specifically.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And we get to the final question, and, boy, it's a zinger.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: I'm convinced that it's a dad slash mom test. And say, is your dad or mom doing your homework for you? I agree, but. So, Darren, our listeners may not know this. I have some math in my background.

>> Darin: You're an engineer.

>> Mike: Yeah, I've done.

>> Darin: You are a scientist?

>> Mike: Somewhat. Not necessarily a scientist, but I've done the maths, as they say.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: And I took this math question as a personal challenge, and I can't figure it out.

>> Darin: I walked in, and the first thing that Mike said was one, after his dog attacked me. Two. Mike's like, yeah, I'm a, little. Little stressed here because Charlie has a math problem that I don't know how to do.

>> Mike: What the hell was that?

>> Darin: And it floored me, because years ago, you used to call. I used to call you and have you help me do Jacob's math homework.

>> Mike: Yeah. And I enjoyed it.

>> Darin: Yeah, I had fun.

>> Mike: it was a twofer. I get a challenging math problem, and then I get to make you feel bad about yourself. Stupid thing.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And so I just.

>> Darin: I think the exact quote was, how stupid are you? And then I'm like, hi, Mike, you're on speakerphone.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Remember that?

>> Mike: Yeah. Uncle Mike.

>> Darin: Said a curse word.

>> Mike: Uncle Mike said a thing. Uncle Mike said. And then I. I got into the process of that problem. And then. So I'm dressed. You notice I. I'm wearing gym shorts and, my WKRP in Cincinnati, which I like to work out in. This is my workout shirt. I never made it to the gym because I got sucked into this problem. when it became obvious I didn't have time to go to the gym, I went over and filled up Old Faithful and told best this. Just this. That's what it is. What it is, is what it is.

>> Darin: Yeah. I have. When they tell you how to do the problem, please let me know, because. So not only. You're not the only person who I would call and ask for help giving Jacob help with his math homework. Because, you know many people. I do.

>> Mike: Seen your Facebook thing. You got, like, a thousand friends.

>> Darin: No, we have,


Nathan Gwynn more than doubled my SAT score

>> Mike: I've never even seen a thousand people.

>> Darin: We. We have once friends whose kids used to go to the same class as Jacob. So I would call one of the kids moms up, and I'm like, did you get this problem? And then she would walk me through how they did it. I'm like, oh, my God, of course.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: You find out what the unknown is first, you solve for that, and then the rest of the problem usually explains itself. And then once she explained it to me, then I'm like, okay, well, yeah, there's no knowns. All right. Yeah, there was, Okay, so I have a friend who I went to high school with named Nathan Gwynn. Okay. Nathan scored higher on the SAT than anybody else previously at our high school. Okay. He more than doubled my SAT score. Okay.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Which when I went to.

>> Mike: He got a 30.

>> Darin: When I went to college, I had to take a few remedial classes. Okay. And when Nate Bargazzi did his thing and talked about taking remedial classes, I'm like, I have something in common with Nate.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I took math.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I took English.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I can't remember what the other one was. I had to do that because I had a low SAT score. Good enough to get into East Tennessee State University. Not good enough to have to do. Anyway, so I reached out to Nathan with this math problem that Jacob could not do.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Right again. Nathan. Smartest, person I've ever known. Right.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I send it to him, and within five minutes, he replies. Let me ponder this. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: An hour later, he says, I think this is what they're looking for. I think. And he Took a picture. what he sent me was like more than a page.

>> Mike: Yeah. Okay. Let me ask you a question. Can I interrupt you for a moment?

>> Darin: Yeah, you always do.

>> Mike: Is Nate a. An engineer?

>> Darin: He studied engineer at North Carolina State University.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know why I noticed? Because here's what happens. You start to wonder, is the person asking the question know what they're talking about? Because that's where I'm at on this problem.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like. Because you always see it where they'll issue a correction. Oh, by the way, this is the wrong number and the thing.


Back in the 80s, games came in a cartridge form

So back in the day. Back in the. Back in the 80s. All right.

>> Darin: Oh, the 80s were like the best.

>> Mike: M. Little Mikey had a computer. Little Mikey.

>> Darin: A Commodore 64.

>> Mike: Commodore 64. And I, we subscribed to Compute magazine and run magazine. Those were the two main computer magazines. Now, back in the day.

>> Darin: For the articles.

>> Mike: Right? Back in the day.

>> Darin: Not for the pictures.

>> Mike: Not for the pictures. Boy, that Atari centerfold, let me tell you.

>> Darin: Woo.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Do you see the joystick on that?

>> Mike: Oh, boy. This is before mice, when it was all non rodentary anyway, to know what.

>> Darin: That means, but I don't either.

>> Mike: Yeah, they would have programs, games. So kids these days go on the lines online, they download their games, they play their games, they buy their games or whatever. Back in the day, we didn't have that. Games came in a cartridge forms. A cartridge or a disc in a Ziploc bag at a weird store in the city.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: This is where I got some of my games now.

>> Darin: Or I would mail order behind an abandoned Blockbuster.

>> Mike: This is a true story. One Christmas when I was a little kid, I ordered a couple of games from the back of a magazine. Uh-huh. They sent the discs in Ziploc bags. They ran out of the games that I wanted. They just sent me two other games. It was like 40 bucks. It was like $80 spent. They're just like, here, take this and this.

>> Darin: But I don't want Pitfall. I've already got Pitfall.

>> Mike: They were awesome, though.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: But anyway, so back in those days, your money back? no. This is the 80s, dude. I'm lucky. I didn't have like a Lucky a gram of cocaine didn't come with it. Back in those days, the computer magazines would have programs in them. You type in the game, so it would have pages and pages of code that you would type in.

>> Darin: That's like fun at all.

>> Mike: It would m. Take days.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And. But I was a nerd. I would sit there and type them in and you would have to debug the program. Now back in the day, that meant you had to go through hundreds of lines to figure out where you put a zero instead of an O. It took. It was like, it was awful.

>> Darin: Now, now I don't have the drives me.

>> Mike: What drove me crazy was there was always a corrections page in the next issue. And the corrections page say, oh, by the way, on line 342.

>> Darin: Screw that.

>> Mike: this. It should have been a one and it was actually an I. Yeah, I.

>> Darin: Would have been in tears.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. My ocd, my anxiety, everything would have been through the roof. So I just want to play a game.

>> Mike: So that caused me great grief.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: A little bit of ptsd. So when I see problems like what Charlie put, there's always that little nagging doubt. Maybe the dude that printed these things out was like, I don't, know what that number is. I'm just going to call it 8 and put it through. They all sound like that in my mind. All the idiots in the world. I'm just going to call it that. They sound like that. And, and I am not going to beat my head against the wall trying to figure out this problem just because Earl. And I'll name him. It's Earl. Earl at the printer factory.

>> Darin: Damn you.

>> Mike: Earl decided that he's going to. He doesn't care enough to look at the sheet and put the right number in.


There is a great television show called Clarence. If you've never watched Clarence, take

>> Darin: So there is a great, and I mean great television show. It's a cartoon. It's called Clarence. If you've never watched Clarence, take two or three hours out of your day and watch a handful of Clarence. They're so good. And there is an episode of Clarence where his teacher, she's very distracted, okay, because she's wondering if this man that she was, went out on a date with if he was going to call her back or not, or did he like her or what. And she was again, very distracted. And they asked, you know, what's our assignment for tomorrow? And she goes, oh, it's a, this. Yeah, it's this. And she had accidentally typed turtle hats. okay. Turtle hats.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then she goes off and she's in her own little world. And all of these kids that cannot figure out what in the hell she means by turtle hats.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And they did like stage productions and, and wrote book reports and everything.

>> Mike: Yeah. And went all in on turtle hats.

>> Darin: They went all in on the turtle hats. And then the next day when she realizes what she did, she felt horrible. Absolutely Horrible. But yes, she sent them on a wild goose chase looking for turtle hats accidentally. And that's what I think Charlie's butt head teacher did to you guys. Yeah, he put a four in there. That shouldn't be a four. He put a turtle hat in there.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.


A new product called Tromofizarol can help with arthritis

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome is brought to you by tromophysarol. Hi, I'm Dave Lay. And there comes a time when you reach a certain age and you start to get aches in certain uncomfortable places. That's why there's a new product on the market called Tromofizarol. With Tromofizarol, you can get back to doing the things you used to do without causing any problems to your. Well, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. Just take one Tromofizzerol capsule in the morning with breakfast and another before bed and you'll notice a world of difference. Don't take Tromofizole if you're allergic to Tromofizole. Side effects may include dryness around the knees and elbows, short term memory loss, inability to make coherent sentences, delusional thoughts of unimaginable strength, sudden urges to eat expired dairy products and body odor. Ask your doctor if Tromofizarol is right for you.


Dave Lay used to work with Dave until he fired me

Now back to the show.

>> Darin: I went out to eat dinner last night with Dave Lay.

>> Mike: Really?

>> Darin: Yeah. Dave Lay?

>> Mike: The Dave Lay?

>> Darin: The Dave Lay? Hi, I'm Dave Lay. Dave Lay. And our old buddy Eric Ritter. And I don't think you've ever met Eric Ritter.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: And here's the deal with Eric Ritter.

>> Mike: So what's the deal with Eric Ritter?

>> Darin: So Eric Ritter is one of the coolest people you'll ever get to know. He's a good guy. And this is how good he was. Because I told you that everybody knows this. I used to work with Dave until he fired me.

>> Mike: He fired you?

>> Darin: We did corporate video production together and they laid me off. Okay. And fired you. They. Yeah, yeah. But fired?

>> Mike: You were terminated.

>> Darin: with cause I. No, no, no, no, no. I was a very good employee.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: They laid me off and they said, dave, go break the news to Darren.

>> Mike: Yeah. Go, fire.

>> Darin: And it broke Dave's heart.

>> Mike: Yeah. So he said, dave's a good guy.

>> Darin: He is a good guy. So, Dave came in and he just hated having to tell me that they were letting me go. And after all that happened, I was trying to figure out, what am I going to do? Am I going to freelance? Where am I going to find another job? Where am I going to do video production. Well, this guy that we worked with, Mark, he hooked me up with Eric Redder. And Eric had all this production to do for these, car dealerships in Cincinnati that he wasn't going to be able to edit because he had another job coming up. So he says, come over here. He says, I will pay you and I will train you to use this equipment, and you can use all this equipment whenever you do all these commercials for me. And then I said, well, there's a problem because I managed to land this, this freelance gig. And he says, well, where are you gonna do it? And I said I was gonna do at a friend's house in his. In his apartment. He goes, well, why don't you do it here? So he let me use all his editing equipment to do this freelance gig. So Eric is a great, great guy.

>> Mike: Good dude.

>> Darin: He's a very good dude. And the reason I'm saying this is because there's a contrast now, because as great a guy as Eric Ritter is, I'm pissed at him because we were talking, having dinner last night, and Dave brought up the podcast and this and that, and Eric said that, he doesn't really listen to talk radio. He's not a real big fan of that, medium, and he's not really a fan of podcasts. And Dave says, but you like our podcast, right? And he says, well, I. And he looks at me and he says, darren, I did listen to your episode about, about the ice cream sandwiches. I said, there you go. That was 140 episodes.

>> Mike: You're gonna listen to one episode.

>> Darin: He hasn't listened since Ice cream sandwiches. I'm like, I mean, honest to God, that was one of our really, really good episodes.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Really good at three. Really?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, yeah, he didn't listen to any more since then. He's just not into podcasts. Which goes back to what we were saying last week. M. We are doing this thing. Hi, welcome to Irritable Dad Center. By the way, we're glad that the people who are listening are listening. We are trying so hard to branch out to a, group of people who do not like what we're doing. That's our struggle.

>> Mike: Not going very well.

>> Darin: It's not.


Jim Timmerman gets an actual text from an actual fan

Hey, I got a text from a fan. Okay, let me pull it up.

>> Mike: Wait, you got an actual text from an actual.

>> Darin: I got a text from an actual text from an actual fan.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: If I. If they weren't, could I do this? M. Remember when Dave Letterman would do that with the blue Cards. we got a message from Jim Timmerman. Big fan of the show Dear. Irritable dad syndrome. Omg. Yes. My wife is in the same cult. Sourdough M. She feeds it more than she feeds me. Thank you for your text, Jim Timmerman.


Charlie called the opposing coach a joke during a fifth grade basketball game

>> Mike: So Charlie had a basketball game.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And the opposing coach was ejected from the game.

>> Darin: Are you serious?

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: What grade is Charlie in?

>> Mike: Fifth grade.

>> Darin: Fifth grade.

>> Mike: Fifth grade.

>> Darin: What does the coach of a fifth grade basketball team have to do, slash, say, to get ejected from a game?

>> Mike: He called the coach or the referee a, joke.

>> Darin: Oh, a, joke.

>> Mike: So he. Here's what Bess and I saw. All right?

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: We saw Charlie dribbling the ball down the thing and a bunch of kids, like two or three kids, like double triple teamed him.

>> Mike: Right near. They were right in front of where the coach sits.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And they got called foul for pushing. You can't push another kid out of bounds. They foul. So they called it. Everyone in the audience, everyone on the other team, the announcer, people outside the school, people in Columbus, everyone could tell Eric Ritter, Bono. Everyone could tell Charlie's dribbling on the edge of the border. Three other kids from the other team run up. Charlie's out of bounds. They pushed him.

>> Mike: if nothing else, you could see the elbows. You know, when you see someone push from behind, you see the elbows thrust forward as one pushes.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: the video podcast people get the full effect.

>> Darin: Mike is doing a graphic demonstration.

>> Mike: So the ref does almost a lazy foul. You know, they do the arm and then they call the number, they blow the whistle. Yeah. And then you hear, and I quote. What? Because they're right in front of the coach of the other team.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And so the coach looks, or the, referee looks at him and says the thing. and then he is told that he's a joke. Now Bess and I from across the court think he says, you're the goat. And we're thinking, why is he getting mad at being called the goat? Because the I, that's greatest of all time. That's what that stands for.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Great. G O A T. Yeah, I know. Why would you be offended by.

>> Darin: Hey, how dare you call me the. By the way, sideline.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Jennifer Lawrence was on a TV show and she was talking about being in a movie with Meryl Streep, and they kept referring to her as the goat. And then Meryl's like, I guess I'm just the old goat, just doing my job. And they're like, no, Meryl, that's not a. That's. That's not an insult. Meryl Streep. Didn't know that stood for greatest of all time.

>> Mike: Yeah, it's hard to keep up with the parlance of the times.

>> Darin: No, continue.

>> Mike: Yes. Anyway, multiple technical fouls were called. Charlie actually got four free throws. There were so many technicals called. And the ref does the official sign of your. The thumb thing.

>> Darin: You're out of here.

>> Mike: You're out. Ejected. You're like, what? He's like, you're. We heard it from across the thing. And then people are like, you're out of here. The coach starts walking across the court yelling, you're a joke. And Andrew is right behind me, and Andrew says, and I quote, bruh, Bruh. It's a fifth grade basketball game. So then I look up at Andrew, and he's smiling, and he says, it's a fifth. Fifth grade basketball game. And then he looks over, and this is one of my proud dad moments. He looks over at the coach, and as the coach walking out, he just waves at it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then the coach is out in the outer area yelling coachy things or saying coachy things to the other people who will listen to him.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then the game resumes. The kids have no idea what to do because coach just got put in timeout. And they're there with who I assume is coach's wife.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And she steps up and starts yelling at the kids to pass the ball.

>> Darin: Right, right.

>> Mike: Whatever you say.

>> Darin: Right.


Jacob played basketball when he was younger. Side note, I'm going to interrupt

Assist.

>> Mike: Set a pick.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You know, Papa 3, Mama needs us. Whatever. Put them in the old toehold.

>> Darin: Just start yelling. I don't know what you're talking about.

>> Mike: So it was. It was, what they call a, hoot. It was a fun time.

>> Darin: The only thing I know about basketball is, it's. It's two points. So if you'd make a free throw, that's one point. And if you shoot from outside of the. The spotty circle there.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That's a three pointer.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: And I know that if you have the ball.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And. And you're running with the ball. If you hold the ball and go more than two steps without dribbling, that's.

>> Mike: Traveling without a passport. Side note, I'm going to interrupt my own story. When Charlie was playing football, they would. They would throw a flag on the field, and you would hear somebody say, there's laundry on the field.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: So we say that every time there's a penalty in any sport. So if they call it, they Call a foul in basketball. I lean over basketball, laundry on the field. You know, it's because it's funny to us.

>> Darin: So the coach never came back.

>> Mike: Coach never came.

>> Darin: Okay. They never let him back in the game.

>> Mike: Never let him back in the game.

>> Darin: My God. Years ago when Jacob played basketball, they said, get there half hour for the game. Like, okay, so we were there. He was in his uniform, had his shoes. Yeah, we were there. And so we're there and then some of his friends come up. And then it's like 20 minutes for the game. Then it's 15 minutes for the game. Now it's 10 minutes for the game. No coach has showed up.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No coach, no assistant coach. And there were really, I mean it's like, yeah, there were some other parents, but I was like, I'm gonna be coaching this game and I have never once coached the game.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But I mean, I got them. I was like, guys. Because they were all like, what are we supposed to do? So let's let's practice some free throws.

>> Mike: There you go, put them in a line.

>> Darin: And then you, you know, you throw the ball to him and he throws it. Then you throw it. Yeah. And I'm just sitting there going, dear God in heaven, please have a coach show up one minute before the game started. He runs in there, oh my Lord. Thanks Dared for covered for him. Like, thank you for getting here. So I would have been like we've said before the show, I've been like Dennis Hopper, what the hell?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: so just throw the ball to him and if he has the ball, you block him and then get it through the net. I don't know.

>> Mike: So Charlie had another game at 8 o'clock on a Sunday night. What?

>> Darin: Who does that?

>> Mike: The Hades. And it was a half hour away.

>> Darin: That's bedtime.

>> Mike: So we get there early enough to where we see the end of the previous game. My God, there's two minutes left.

>> Darin: Mm

>> Mike: In the game. Yeah, Two minutes left. Two minutes previous game, once.

>> Darin: That's when they have that two minute warning.

>> Mike: Exactly. One team is ahead. Warning by about, I don't know, 300 points.

>> Mike: Like it's clear they're going to win.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And their coach calls a timeout. Yes. They use yes.

>> Darin: The last two minutes because we gotta score 298 points.

>> Mike: Where? At least three timeouts. I think four timeouts.


Have you ever been in a huddle? Have you

He was slamming. He got down on his knees, both hands up, slammed the court. Why? And screamed at Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy, Percy. Up. I don't know what Percy did because nobody's name was. His name was Percy. I don't know what Percy did because nobody was watching the game. everybody was watching this, coach. Now for the full visual red from, Show. No, no, no, from 70s. show. Oh, that guy in Robocop.

>> Darin: Okay, yeah, that guy.

>> Mike: Exactly. Clarence Bodiker looked exactly like him slamming the court. Percy. Percy, throw them. When Percy didn't throw the ball, he was yelling at Percy to throw the ball.

>> Darin: Dammit. Percy.

>> Mike: When Percy threw the ball. Percy, hold on to the ball. Percy, shoot the ball. Percy would shoot the ball. Percy.

>> Darin: That's not a made up.

>> Mike: The ball. That's not a made up name. there was a kid out there named Percy. Now remember when I said there were two minutes left in the game? Percy. In that two minutes, at least three to four timeouts, Percy got cussed up one side and down the other. The court got slammed. Me and Bess were like, we looked at each other like, should we call somebody? Because we, for a long time we thought that that was the losing team.

>> Mike: Until one of the kids, Percy, I think, accidentally made a basket and we saw the score. That was, it was like, like I said, 300 to 5. and it went 302. And I'm like, oh my God, why is he even still in here? Why? Just get out and get the car warmed up. What are you doing? Dude? Good, you're done.

>> Darin: Jacob had a friend who, I will not mention his name, but for every game they would get in a big huddle and they would, you know, you know, do what you do in a huddle. Have you ever been in a huddle? Have you?

>> Mike: No, I have.

>> Darin: Okay. I've been.

>> Mike: I've never. No, I've never been in a huddle. I really haven't. Well, maybe.

>> Darin: Okay. When I was accident, when I was on the wrestling team, we would huddle up before, the match. Okay. So. And I may have been in m. I'm legally not allowed to discuss what is said inside a huddle.

>> Mike: You really should.

>> Darin: I can't. Because what happens in the huddle stays in the huddle.

>> Mike: Exactly.

>> Darin: Thank you. Anyway, so the kids would get in their huddle.

>> Mike: I may have been in a non consensual huddle at some point.

>> Darin: Well, you went to college.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It had to happen. So the kids are in their huddle and then once they're done, they put their hands in the middle and then they yell, go Firehawks. or whatever their name is.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so this kid, everybody would yell firehawks. And he would go, people.

>> Mike: He wants to be inclusive.

>> Darin: He did it week after week after week after week. Yeah, people. Until, one of his parents said, stop saying people.

>> Mike: You got to pull Percy aside. Say, dude, come on. I missed. Like I said, I think everybody knows people. Long term listeners know that I was never into sports or anything like that, so that whole world is alien to me.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: And, just watching the kids go through it, it's. It's hilarious. It is amazingly hilarious. The different characters that you see, the different. The different. That goes down.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah.


We were doing a promo when I worked at Channel two

We were doing a promo when I worked at Channel two, and we had some basketball coverage, some basketball footage that was going into the promo. And I said, yeah, use the shot where the dude, goes under the net. And, the editor's like, the layup.

>> Mike: Yeah, the layup.

>> Darin: Yeah, put that in there.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: If that's a joke, I love it.

>> Mike: If not, I cannot wait to unpack that with you.


The Chiefs take on the Bills in the AFC championship game on Sunday

>> Darin: speaking of sports, did you watch the playoff game?

>> Mike: Oh, the big game? The big Chiefs. Oh, no, I didn't.

>> Darin: Versus the Bills.

>> Mike: I didn't watch that one. I thought you were talking about the Ohio State.

>> Darin: Oh, man, the Chiefs and the. The Bills was a great game.

>> Mike: Yeah, it was a.

>> Darin: It was a real nail biter, man. It was. It was. He. They were in the lead. They were in the lead. They were in the lead. The Chiefs are going to the Super Bowl. That's. Yeah. Yeah. But I felt like I said last week I wanted the Bills. The Bills are due.

>> Mike: Yeah. Andrew. So, Andrew, I think I've said before, when we watch games and both Andrew and Charlie do this, I think all kids do this. They get excited when the match is like 50 to 1. They're like, more and more pumped.

>> Darin: That's when I get bored.

>> Mike: Yeah. I get. Is it? Yeah.

>> Darin: That's what I feel bad. Like, I root for the other team to come on. Yeah.

>> Mike: When it's within a touchdown or within a field goal. Well, now I'm. I' in there.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But they are, like, more and more.

>> Darin: Excited the wider that if my Steelers are doing it. Yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. Here's my thing. It's like I'm watching. I don't really have advice for the announcers. It's like I can't really coach them on what to say or what they should do differently. But there's a couple of things that really bug me. It's a playoff game. It's the AFC championship game. And the, the announcers say over and over and over again, there's a lot riding on this game. yeah, I really m. Yeah. The winner of this goes to the Super Bowl. We know that. Yeah, I think everybody watching knows that. I don't think there's anybody goes, hey, Tony, what's writing on this game? Oh, oh, they, this one. They go to the Super Bowl.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Oh, I didn't know that.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then somewhere down the line, one of, the. They missed a field goal. Okay. So it ended up being like 24 to 23. And they announce, yeah, we got ourselves a one point game. Are you, you can do math?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay, good for you.

>> Mike: They say you never use math, but there you go right there.

>> Darin: Clearly using it right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have a prediction? The Chiefs over the Eagles or the Eagles over the Chiefs?

>> Mike: I'm going to be rooting for the Eagles because I think I'm contractually obligated to. So Andrew used to be a huge Chiefs fan.

>> Darin: Well, he used before. He was a Steeler fan before that.

>> Mike: Yeah. And he had a. We had.

>> Darin: And then he went through a thing where he was a, Bengals fan.

>> Mike: He has a Mahomes or Majomi's, jersey and everything, which I pull out every once in a while because he'll. He's like, he just. Remember when you wanted me to buy this for you? I'm not a Chiefs fan anymore. I hate the Chiefs. I'm like, dude, we have a jersey with mojom's name on it. You liked them. You were, you rooted for him. Yeah, that was in the past. That was in my darker days.

>> Darin: Yeah, he was going through, I. But he was going through some stuff.


So I put $5,000 on the Browns to win the super bowl

>> Mike: So. Yeah, I used, There was a guy I used to know who was a huge Patriots fan. And it wasn't that he was a fan of the Patriots. He was a fan of the fact that they won all the time. And he would get upset. He would like, seek out fights with people like you just. You just don't like them because they win all the time. But I would say that that means you should root for him because statistically, eventually they're going to lose. So every time they play, they're more the underdog. And I'm like, you're out of your. You don't even know what the hell you're talking. What do you say? Yeah, I, Yeah, I was like, this is a very stupid man.

>> Darin: Anyway, so Therefore, the team that loses all the time is more likely to win. So I put $5,000 on the Browns to win the super bowl, even though they're not in it. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Come on, Browns.

>> Mike: so, yeah, I do like the idea of the underdog.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I've actually been to Philadelphia. I've never been to Kansas City, so just.

>> Darin: I've been to Kansas City.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. But I have never been to, Philadelphia.

>> Mike: Wow. We can swap stories.

>> Darin: You remember that time?

>> Mike: I've had a Philly cheesesteak.

>> Darin: You had a Kansas City barbecue.

>> Mike: Damn.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Wow.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Five years.

>> Darin: Actually, you know what?

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: Been to St. Louis. I haven't been to Kansas City.

>> Mike: Same thing. Same thing.

>> Darin: Other people are there that they all know each other. Yeah.

>> Mike: It's the same thing.


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There's speculation that Harry and Sally will have a Super Bowl commercial

Back to you guys in the studio.

>> Darin: Have you ever seen When Harry Met Sally?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay. Because. Well, no, there's.

>> Mike: I've seen parts of it. I've never seen the whole movie.

>> Darin: Oh, seriously? Okay.

>> Mike: It's, Billy Crystal and Tread Lightly. I'm not, I'm okay. I'm not gonna judge.

>> Darin: It's one of my. Probably in my top five of favorite, films of all time. There's rumor that they're going to be. That, they've reunited for something special. There's speculation that they're going to have a commercial in the Super Bowl.

>> Dave: Oh.

>> Darin: So there was some, a lot of people were discussing what would the commercial be. Someone thought it could be for Uber Eats. And because Sally had a very special way of ordering her food.

>> Speaker D: I'd like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie Alamode. But I'd like the pie heated. And I don't want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side. And I like sweet strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream. Just whipped cream. But only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.

>> Darin: Not even the pie?

>> Speaker D: No, just the pie. But then not heated.

>> Darin: hysterical. So I was thinking that they could do a commercial for a dating service. There's several. There's, Hey, look at those fish. No, plenty of fish dot com.

>> Mike: I like. Hey, look at those fish.

>> Darin: Hey, hey, look at those fish. Look at them. So they could do a dating site.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: they could do a commercial for Harry's razors.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Harry. And he might shave his beard for the commercial. I don't know.

>> Mike: All right.

>> Darin: Yeah. But I'm stoked. I can't wait to see Harry and Sally back together again, because, when all the other guys are, like, losing their watching football, I'm excited about the possibility of a rom com reunion.


There's a product that you can buy to jiggle your computer mouse

>> Mike: So was it, Meg Ryan also in Sleepless in Seattle? Yes.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: At Harlot.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: She's bouncing around with Billy Crystal over here. And then Tommy Hanks.

>> Darin: And I've told you, as great a movie as that was Bill Pullman.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Good looking guy. Nice guy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: He was loyal. He was faithful to her. Good dude. He was a great guy. He had a career. he would have treated her perfectly. He would have loved her and doted over her and cared for her for, her whole life. And she left him, for a chance. She didn't know it was Tom Hanks. We all knew it was Tom Hanks.

>> Mike: We knew it was Tom Hanks.

>> Darin: We did. She didn't. She could have got up to the top of the tower, and it could have been Steve Buscemi.

>> Mike: It's like robbing Peter to pay Paul.

>> Darin: It doesn't make any sense.

>> Mike: But in the end.

>> Darin: Hey, hey. How you doing?

>> Mike: You know, in the end, Bill Pullman got to ride around in a Winnebago with John Candy. So it worked out.

>> Darin: I found I never knew that this existed.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's a product that you can buy. It's called the Mouse Jiggler. And it sounds so pretty.

>> Mike: Do you. Do you jiggle a mouse like a real life?

>> Darin: It's the Mous Jiggler. No, it's for your computer mouse.

>> Mike: Oh.

>> Darin: So, like, if you're on teams.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Or something. And, if you go inactive, your team, like, goes from green to yellow. Which means you're asleep, you're out to lunch, you're doing something else besides working.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So you can buy, this thing called a mouse jiggler. You put your mouse on top of it and every now and then.

>> Mike: That is awesome.

>> Darin: I'm like, it's the most brilliant thing I've ever heard in my life. Last week I went out to dinner with some old friends of mine from Channel 5.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And our old IT guy, Mark Ryan was telling me about that. That, yeah, you can buy. It's a real thing. A mouse jiggler.

>> Mike: That's awesome. Have you seen the dude, that does the green screen and he goes to like sporting events or like boxes, people. And he's still. He's on a, he's on a teams call with his team. He's got a green screen.

>> Darin: Yes. Like, yes.

>> Mike: Like it's strapped to his back.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And so that's hilarious. Then it shows the picture in the media and he's got like a hoagie going.

>> Darin: That's funny. If you've ever listened to this podcast, I think probably on every episode Mike has mentioned how much he loves Peeps. And I was out and about with Libby and we went into what's called a dollar store. The Dollar tree. It used to be everything's a dollar now everything's a dollar 25.

>> Mike: It's, it's like the Dollar General, but not as decorated.

>> Darin: Right. Not as classy. It's kind of like Target compared to Walmart of dollar stores. And they had an entire row. A whole, Not a row, but entire end cap full of Peeps. They had flavors of peeps that I've never seen before. And I said, oh. And Libby's like, what's the matter? I said, I've got to call Mike. And I called Mike and of course, if we're not doing the podcast, Mike doesn't talk to me. The phone went straight to voicemail.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I texted him. They've got peeps galore at the dollar store.

>> Mike: What? I'm curious when it says when it goes the voicemail for me.

>> Mike: Does it. Do you hear me or do you hear the 93 7?

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.


The origin of the Gummy Nerds with me was Charlie

Is, is full or some. So yeah, I called him up and they had Dr. Pepper peeps.

>> Mike: now.

>> Darin: And you love the doctor.

>> Mike: Which Dollar Tree was this? Was this down?

>> Darin: The one next to, not Joanne fabric. on 129 past next to Menards. Save big money at, Menards.

>> Mike: Okay, I'm gonna head out there. Tomorrow.

>> Darin: So they had Dr. Pepper Cotton Candy.

>> Mike: I never had those.

>> Darin: Sour watermelon.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Those are good. Those are really, really good. Tropical punch.

>> Mike: Those are pretty good.

>> Darin: Have you ever had tropical? Yeah.

>> Mike: Ah, if you're out of all the other peeps, those are good.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then they had the Rice Krispy Treat flavor.

>> Mike: I've never had that.

>> Darin: I was. I didn't buy any because I'm trying to be good, but, God, I wanted to. And then I thought, if Mike buys them, then when I come over on Tuesday night, then maybe Mike will let me have one.

>> Mike: Yeah, you.

>> Darin: You. So go buy some.

>> Mike: You get so excited when I show you a new candy. We've explored nerds. The Nerd. Gummy Nerds.

>> Darin: Yeah, Gummy Nerds.

>> Mike: Gummy.

>> Darin: Jesus, call the cops. Yeah, Gummy Nerds are the bomb.

>> Mike: Yeah. And they had the July 4th gummy nerds that were red, white, and blue. And I remember you lost your.

>> Darin: Yeah, those are amazing.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah, those are really, really good. So, yeah, go get some peeps.

>> Mike: Yeah. So, yeah, the. The origin of the Gummy Nerds with me was Charlie and I went to go see a movie, and he wanted the Gummy Nerds. And I'm like, okay, it's like $15 for the pack of Gummy Nerds.

>> Darin: It's not that much.

>> Mike: And, yeah, it's like 30. And. And then I. I said, can I have one or two of those? And I ended up, hey, I'll hold the bag for you. And I ate his whole bag of Gummy Nerds.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And I gave him my. I don't know, I had kale chips or something. I gave. Let him have those.

>> Darin: You're sitting there eating your baby carrots. Yeah, Because I had had one or two over here. And then when we were driving to. I think we were driving to Florida bad when we drive. Yeah. We stopped, and they had one bag left.

>> Mike: Yo.

>> Darin: One bag of Gummy Nerds. And it wasn't even with all the candy. Like, someone had grabbed it. Yeah, apparently they. They hid it like they. They were going to buy it where their wife didn't see. They.

>> Mike: They didn't have enough change, and they had to go to the car and they stashed it somewhere.

>> Darin: That might have been it. Yeah.

>> Mike: Or maybe swooped in and ninja it.

>> Darin: You know what the. What they used to do at the Winn Dixie when I worked there is they would take, stakes, and they would, like, put them on the cereal aisle, and then somebody else. Someone in cahoots would come up behind them. And then they would steal the stakes. Because the cereal aisle, you're not on guard as much as the meat aisle.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Because no one cares if you steal a box of Froot Loops. I've done that many times.

>> Mike: Yeah. Put a steak behind the kaboom. It's. Nobody's gonna find it.

>> Darin: Kaboom. Right behind the crunchy Star cereal.


My favorite cereal all time was Pac man cereal. Do you remember, Pac? I remember, but I never had it

>> Mike: Kaboom.

>> Darin: Oh, I have it. Oh, I used to love Big Mix cereal. Oh, God. Big Mix was with a chicken wolf, moose, pig. We've talked about on the podcast before. It was the weirdest damn cereal ever. But it was really good and I loved it. And I remember eating it knowing that it was going away.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And so you have appreciation for something more when you know it's going to be gone.

>> Mike: Cereal. And I know that it was cheap and it was just basically, Lucky Charms in a different form. But my favorite cereal all time was Pac man cereal. Do you remember, Pac?

>> Darin: I remember, but I never had it.

>> Mike: It had. It was the. So it was basically Kicks. Those. The little pellets.

>> Darin: Yeah, Kicks is good.

>> Mike: And then the marshmallows were Pac man and the ghosts.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And it just looked. When you poured the milk in it, it was beautiful.

>> Darin: It was. It was. You almost didn't want to eat it.

>> Mike: Yeah. But you did. And then, you know it to this day, if I play Pac Man, I taste a little marshmallows. When he bats down on the ghost.

>> Darin: It'S like, I know what they're eating.

>> Mike: I know what they're tastes like. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. I remember early, early on when. Just like when the kids knew, each other and you and I had met a couple of times. You, were talking about something and you said probably you two. No, you said that someone had called the house at 10 o'clock and you're like, I'm sitting there eating a bowl of cereal.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Knowing I'm not going to answer the phone right now. And I'm like, oh, my God, he's my twin brother separated at birth.

>> Mike: Nobody. Yeah.

>> Darin: that's. It's like I thought I was the only person who craved and ate cereal at 10:00 at night.

>> Mike: I would say the only thing that can interrupt that is the house fire. But I've proven that that's not the case with me.


Atari is back with a vengeance with new cartridges

I do want to say, I, can't believe I haven't talked about this yet. I bought myself a Christmas present. Would you get, Atari is back. I don't know if you know this. Like, Atari. Atari.

>> Darin: No, I didn't think they went away completely.

>> Mike: Well, they're back with a vengeance.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: So they're making new 2600s and 7008s. We got a 7800 because it plays 7008s and 2600. Like the cartridges with the joystick and the paddle, the old school cartridges. So cartridges that I had as a kid still play. Play.

>> Darin: Shut up.

>> Mike: Yes. And I went.

>> Darin: No, you're kidding.

>> Mike: This last weekend I went to Traders World and I picked up some of the old cartridges that I, I play as a kid play Pitfall. This past weekend, OG Pitfall.

>> Darin: Oh my God, I love Pitfall. Yeah.

>> Mike: yeah.

>> Darin: And we had talked about this before. One of the coolest things about Pitfall is you gotta go to the bathroom, you want to go get some chips, you jump on the vine and you just keep swinging back and forth.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We went to bed one night, came back that morning, he's still swinging back and forth. Really?

>> Mike: Yeah. He plays the old cartridges and they actually make new cartridges now. Atari's, doing some weird.

>> Darin: Used to play Asteroids.

>> Mike: Yeah. Like I'll show you when we go up there.

>> Darin: Because the trick to Asteroids is you just stay in the middle of the screen.

>> Mike: Oh yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: And you just rotate around, shoot the asteroid.

>> Mike: So I have asteroids on 2600 cartridge. Still.

>> Darin: So excited.

>> Mike: And that works. And then I got Asteroids Deluxe, which was for the 7,800. They, they've re, they're re releasing cartridges. It has the full size instruction manuals and the cardboard boxes now.

>> Darin: They didn't seem, they didn't up the graphics. It's still no, it's.

>> Mike: No, it's old school. It's. Yeah, it's. Yeah. But it's got an HDMI thing so it connects to like normal TVs.

>> Darin: That's, that's, that's very exciting. Yeah.

>> Mike: And the joist tinge, it's just, I mean, it's like. It works.

>> Darin: See, that's.

>> Mike: And, and if you have the old joysticks from the old school, you plug them in. It's the same connection.

>> Darin: The old joysticks work.

>> Mike: Yes. I didn't know that. it's awesome. I want one. It's awesome.

>> Darin: It's really cool because my kids pick on me. I'm not good at video games. I'm really not. Now that being said. Yeah, we had I like three or four weeks ago, I mentioned that I won a game of Super Smash. okay. I beat Jacob, Cameron and Libby. Yeah, well, actually Jacob and Cameron knocked each other out and then I beat Libby.

>> Darin: Hey. She's good. Yeah, she's really, really good.

>> Mike: She seems like she would be good. Did you play Link?

>> Darin: No, she has.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, she has. She usually plays Soren.

>> Mike: Okay. Sauron once he gets the ring.

>> Darin: No, you can't. Can't do giant red eye. No, it's, I think. I think the chick's name is Soren. You usually play Soren.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I always play Rob.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I love Rob. Yeah. And so we're playing Super Smash and Jacob was out, and then Cameron took out Libby. I'm like, oh crap.


So I've gotten Charlie into cod. And uh, Jacob's really good too

And Cameron, it's sick. Okay. He's good. And Jacob's really good too. And I'm like, oh crap, how am I going to. And I'm. I'm fighting as hard as I possibly can with Rob. And Cameron screwed up. He. He zigged instead of zag.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I got him.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And. And I was like, hey, what happened? Oh my God. I lost my mind. And the kids were so excited for me. Like, dad, you won a game of Super Smash.

>> Mike: There you go.

>> Darin: Yeah, it was awesome.

>> Mike: So.

>> Darin: And there have been a couple of times where we have the team battle.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I've dropped like the last. The last. The winning. The winning bunch.

>> Mike: Yep.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I've gotten Charlie into cod. Call Duty.

>> Darin: Okay. it's not a fish. I've played.

>> Mike: Yes. I've played COD since the beginning of cod. Actually, since before the beginning of cod. The team that ended up making cod. I played their games before that. And so I'm old school cod. I've always looked at it as a mindless just shoot people game.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And with this past season, I've gotten into ranked.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I've fallen down the rabbit hole of watching YouTubers with. With ranked like stats and strategies.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I watched a 20 minute video with PowerPoint slides and Excel tables and graphs. Of where you shoot, how you shoot the time to shoot.

>> Darin: You've done your own research.

>> Mike: I got halfway through this video and I thought, I'm in a different world here. I've gone beyond the pale. I'm no longer beyond the pain. I'm no longer the innocent dude that walks into the comic book store and says, oh, Thor, I've seen a movie that had Thor's name. I'm the dude that's in the trench coat with the fedora in the corner, all stinky.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like, well, that's not the best Thor. The best thorns over here. I'm back on COD now.

>> Darin: I was explaining this one has the, the realistic hammer.

>> Mike: And I, I. That realization came to me when Charlie was watching me play last night. So last night was the end of season one.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I've made it to gold three.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I have never made it to platinum. Those of you who are COD players are laughing right now because I'm not Platinum. I don't give. I will make it to platinum on season two. But as I'm playing, I'm explaining to.

>> Darin: Charlie, once you get to season two, can you go back and play season one?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: It's.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So it's a, it's a whole thing. We'll explain now, later. it's a whole thing. Nobody cares.

>> Darin: That's it, man.

>> Mike: Game over, man.

>> Darin: It's game over.

>> Mike: So I'm playing and I'm like, this is daddy's favorite assault rifle. And the interesting thing about this assault rifle is it has the same damage on all the appendages as it does the head, which means it doesn't matter if you get a headshot. It does the same damage. You'll kill the people in the same milliseconds. And I get about 50% through that sentence. And I realize different beasts. Now. I'm no longer the casual dude that just plays this. You can't go back.

>> Darin: No.


Season two of Call of Duty: COD starts today in North America

>> Mike: You can't go back to. How do you do this? Do you push this to fight? No, no. We're into statistics and tables.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So this season, season two, it starts today. And I think in North America, it starts in three hours and 41 minutes.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Daddy's going plat and I'm going to try to get the diamond. And my secret weapon is Charlie. Charlie is an absolute beast. These games.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But he doesn't play COD. He just recently started COD. He has to get 50 wins before he can play with me up in the ranked. Right. It's a club. You got to pay your dues, Darren. You got it. You got to pull your weight.

>> Darin: Once he gets in there, Brad gotta get in.

>> Mike: Once in there, we're gonna be, we're gonna be calling out stuff like I'm going platform, two on, B. Hit it. And he's gonna be dropping bombs down here.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm going to do my best not to drop an F bomb.

>> Darin: Nice layout.

>> Mike: And we're going to hit it. And we're going to mhm2q this. We're going to duo it.

>> Darin: Oh, you got to 2q it.

>> Mike: A duo it. M duo.

>> Darin: Yeah, duo.

>> Mike: We're going to duo it. Duo. Duo. Slam.

>> Darin: Duo.

>> Mike: Dual stack.

>> Darin: Double Team Dual stack. Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, and we're going to dual stack our way at least into platinum. I want to get the Crimson now. Crimson?

>> Darin: Yeah, Crimson. Don't get me started on Crimson.

>> Mike: That's where the cheaters are.

>> Darin: Mmm.

>> Mike: M. Those after Crimson is iridescent, bruh.

>> Darin: is there also clover? Excuse me.

>> Mike: Excuse me, bruh.

>> Darin: Bruh.

>> Mike: Once I get to crimson and once I get to iridescent, get out. That's when I start a YouTube channel. I teach others how to cod like Icod.

>> Darin: Mm Mm m. I can't wait.


Mike and Derek discuss the latest episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome

>> Dave: This portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome is brought to you by Zipper Lube. Are you tired of wasting hours of your precious time futzing around trying to open and close sticky zippers? Well, have a seat, Tony. I have a product for you. Just rub some zipper lube across that annoying zipper and your problems will magically disappear. Easy up, easy down, easy all around Zipper lube available wherever quality zipper related products are sold. Now back to you, Mike and Derek.

>> Darin: One more thing before we go. a couple weeks ago you had posted the clip about me talking about the Sammy Hagar concert. After that, I started seeing more Sammy Hagar started coming up in the queue. Okay. An, actual Sammy Hagar video comes up. And he's talking about how he's going to do a residency in Las Vegas.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then people think, oh, no, not at the Sphere. Sadly not at the Sphere. But he is doing a residency, in Vegas. And then people are like, are you not going to ever tour again? He goes, nice. That was. Calm down. I never said I wasn't gonna tour again. But I am going to do this residency because it's great that I can.

>> Mike: People think that rock stars go to Vegas to die.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And that's not true.

>> Darin: No. No.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So I commented to. I sent a message to Sammy Hagar, said it was a great show.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Loved it. And thank you. It was a great show. Whatever. I am now followed by five different Sammy Hagars. I got a thing that says Sammy Hagar follows you. I'm like, I don't think so. And it was. It was Sammy Hagar. 141 1. Okay. That's not Sammy Hagar. And then you look and he has eight followers. I'm pretty sure that Sammy Hagar, the Red Rocker himself.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Has more followers than eight.

>> Mike: Yeah. And then at least ten.

>> Darin: yeah. He's got to be in the double digits.

>> Mike: So. Yeah. My claim to fame on the Facebooks is I am friends with the guitarist for pussifer.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I've found that, he friends anybody that tries to friend him. So he was. For, like, a couple of days, I was like. Like, I remember I jumped out of bed. It was like, six in the morning. It's like, oh, my God. I'm friends with the dude. And I showed Bess. I woke up, booba. She didn't care.

>> Darin: I'm kids. Friends with kids.

>> Mike: Didn't care. But I'm like, none of you are friends with a rock star, so there's that.

>> Darin: I'm Facebook friends with Patrick Cronin, who's been on our show.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: He was on Seinfeld.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: He sold the bra to the bro. The. To Kramer. Barring any unforeseen developments, gentlemen, I think we're sitting on a winner. And that episode came up, and I paused it, and I said, that guy there behind the desk, he's been on our podcast. Yeah. And the kids, for a quick second, actually, for a hot minute, they got impressed. Actually thought you and I were cool.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: They're like, it's. Are you serious? Fleeting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy who you're watching on Netflix, has been on Dad's podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a good episode, too.

>> Mike: It was a good episode. It was a good episode. We used to have a good show.

>> Darin: We. We. Yeah.


Mike: We can't lose our woo or the tang

Yeah. We're getting there. We'll get there. We will.

>> Mike: We will.

>> Darin: You. Hey, M. You and me.

>> Mike: You. Yeah. We're gonna go places.

>> Darin: We stay in this together.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We don't give up.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: We're gonna keep doing this. Yeah. What we got to do, Mike, is we can't lose our woo. Okay? That's what I tell the kids. M. I'm about to lose my woo, and you gotta leave me alone.

>> Mike: Then.

>> Darin: Dad, what's a woo? Woo is the window of opportunity.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: And we are not going to lose.

>> Mike: Our woo or the tang.

>> Darin: No. We're a clan.

>> Mike: That's right. That's what we are.

>> Darin: Did you ever watch the Larry Sanders Show?

>> Mike: I did, but I. I never saw Wuang. Was Wu Tang on it?

>> Darin: There's an episode, Wuang Clan, right there. yeah. Hank Kingsley went up and started talking to the Wuang Clan, and he asked, where's, Where's dirty old like? And they started like, yo, man, it ain't dirty old. It's. It's old Dirty Bastard.

>> Mike: Bastard. Did you.

>> Darin: Dirty old.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And there's a guy at channel 11 who. I used to call him Dob. I used to call him Dirty old all the time after that. Good times. Oh, guys, we are so thankful that you joined us for this episode. We hope you come back next week. We hope you go to irritable dad syndrome.com and, and check out other great episodes. Episodes. We hope you tell your friends. Seriously, if you enjoy this podcast, share the love, tell some friends, and, help us out a little bit, we'd really, really appreciate it. And again, we hope to see you next week on Irritable Dad Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome is a Mike Odle Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: Damn it.

>> Mike: I lost my train of. If a frog had wings, it wouldn't bump its ass. A hopping. That's right. That's where you want it.

>> Darin: Okay, that.

>> Mike: That is right where you want it. So the twitch is always right on the nub.

>> Darin: Okay, then that.

>> Mike: That's what twitch means. On the nub.

>> Darin: On the nub. Damn it. Yeah. Season two platinum. No, no, no, no, no, no.

>> Mike: Yeah, I mean that and, most, non coitus way.

>> Darin: Professional way.

>> Mike: Most professional way.

>> Darin: Yeah.


One of the witches on Green Mile had a wonky eye

>> Mike: What you think of the witches? Graphic.

>> Darin: I loved it.

>> Mike: Did you really? Yeah, I. I wasn't happy with it.

>> Darin: Why?

>> Mike: Well, one of them, I thought I would get a mean text.

>> Darin: One of the witches had, like, a wonky eye. Like, too much warlock last night.

>> Mike: So that's one of the things that people hemlock.

>> Darin: M not warlock.

>> Mike: One of the things that people are upset about the new Superman because they're saying he has a wonky eye. So there's all these memes really, on of his lasers. Like, like, that's.

>> Darin: Now that's my stand up routine. One laser shoots.

>> Mike: I don't see it. Then they think, yeah, there's memes of that. I don't see it now that they did the lasers.

>> Darin: Are you serious?

>> Mike: I'm dead serious.

>> Darin: Damn it. They're doing that because I've been doing that in my routine for years. You can't have lazy and laser vision. They did it at the same time.

>> Mike: They did it. They took it.

>> Darin: Man, if I had only gotten famous and then did it. That pisses me m off. That's a good joke, too.

>> Mike: fifth grade basketball game.

>> Darin: Those are.

>> Mike: I'm gonna talk about that.

>> Darin: Oh, those are the priceless days, aren't they?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: you don't get those back. Oh, no. Dennis Hopper filled in for Gene Hackman. That's right.

>> Mike: Dennis Hopper with his tan suit. He's got his flask.

>> Darin: Let's get in the basket.

>> Mike: I'm gonna watch Puck's dying. Dr. Foe with everyone.

>> Darin: I'm gonna put my hand in my. What? What? We're still on. Oh.

>> Mike: Hughes, give the over under on how much of that actually makes the episode Green Mile? No, not so happy. Not so happy.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Everybody dead but me and my mouse. That's the ending.

>> Darin: But it was fun.

>> Mike: Hey, where's that, dirty old.

>> Darin: Dirty bastard? Old dirty bastard, you know? You know, he's just got out of jail, you know?

>> Mike: I mean, he's just holding down at.

>> Darin: Home for a while, you know?

>> Mike: Man, see, I know that. I know that dig. You know, I got. I got parking tickets coming right out of my ass.

>> Speaker D: Have a great day and stay cool.