IDS #243 - Johnny Cash and the Ace of Spades

It's very important for this podcast that what we say is recorded

>> Darin: It's very important for this podcast that what we say is, one is said and two is recorded, because unless you record it. Mike.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: This conversation is just like how you know when you.

>> Mike: Anybody.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: Anybody can have a conversation.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It's the recording of the conversation that makes it a podcast.

>> Darin: Oh, I understand that. no, I don't think you do.

>> Mike: I'm going to hire a life coach.

>> Darin: I'm going to start a podcast that has no focus, and it'll take up an inordinate amount of time.


You have three days to buy Valentine's for your significant other

>> Dave: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome. Fresh squeezed with 33% more pulp. Please welcome your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode two and 43. In your face. Boom, boom, boom. All right, there you go. This episode drops on February 11th. Okay, listen, all you fellas, all you gentlemen, all you guys out there, and ladies. Yeah. Well, this is for the men, ladies, and buy Valentine's, I'm telling you right now. Well, some of them do, okay? But, guys, you have three days. You have Wednesday, you have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to get your wife, your girlfriend, your, better, half, something, anything for Valentine's Day, or Valentine's Day, as we used to call it. And I'm telling you right now, there's nothing better than a homemade card. Guys, you can make your wife, your girlfriend, your best friend, your female companion. You can. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: There are at least five things off the top of my head right now that I can think of that are better than homemade cards. Five.

>> Darin: You're killing my routine here. Okay, okay.

>> Mike: You can watermelon peeps.

>> Darin: You can do flowers, chocolates, jewelry. Yeah, yeah. You can buy your cake out to a nice restaurant, a magazine. Okay, guys, don't get your jersey. Mike's coupon is better than your significant other. A magazine, a jerk. Now a Jersey. Mike's coupon.

>> Mike: Come on. Maybe M number nine with some jalapenos on there and extra cheese.

>> Darin: What I'm trying to say is, guys, if you make your significant other a homemade card, okay, it's so easy to do. All you have to do is go on Google and look up lyrics to a, famous hair metal song, okay? And then go to your office, print it off in a nice script font, fold it, boom, you got this card. So if your significant other got a card, but that said, woke up to the sound of pouring rain the wind would whisper and I'd think of you and all the tears you cried that called my name and when you needed me I came through Remember yesterday Walking hand in hand Love letters in the sand I remember you through the sleepless nights through every endless day I want to hear you say I remember you Happy Valentine's Day. Come on.

>> Mike: Okay. I can do this.

>> Darin: Yeah, seriously. Let's skid row. Save your Valentine's.

>> Mike: Let me see.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay. Swinging in the living room. Swinging in the kitchen. Most folks don't because they're too busy bitching. Swinging in there because she wanted me to feed her. Huh?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: So I mixed up the batter and she licked the beater.

>> Darin: Oh, hello.

>> Mike: I scream, you scream. We all scream for her. Don't even try, because you can't ignore her. She's my cherry pie. Cool drink of water Such a sweet surprise Tastes so good, makes a grown man cry Sweet cherry pie and then parentheses.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah. Anyway, you get my point. Valentine's Day is coming up. Don't screw it up. You got three days to do something for your significant other. Reservations to dinner, jewelry, candy, a hug, and. Well, definitely a hug and a nice little kiss and. And all that other stuff, but do something for Valentine's Day, for God's sakes. M. You can't say that we didn't tell you. We didn't warn you. We didn't give you proper time to get things done. Don't be that guy. Because you ever go into the grocery store on Valentine's Day and there's a line, there's always that one guy with.

>> Mike: A thing of celery because all the flowers are sold out. He's got a wilted brown celery she likes, so.

>> Darin: Well, they've been pretty smart.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I mean, they always have fresh flowers on Valentine's Day for the procrastinators, but. Yeah, there's. There's always guys that, like. I'll get her the bouquet of Hershey bars. She likes Hershey.

>> Mike: Then there's the overachiever that has that foil balloon, like, M. The big. Yeah, muskrat. Or whatever. The flag that says, I love you.

>> Darin: The muskrat. Yeah, the inflatable balloon.

>> Mike: Inflatable muskrat.

>> Darin: How you doing, Mike?

>> Mike: I'm okay.

>> Darin: Yeah, I'm pissed.

>> Mike: I. I'm not pissed.


Mike's not in a good mood at all

I'm just in a pissy mood.

>> Darin: Yeah, well, it's the same thing.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. M. No, Mike's not in a good mood at all. yeah.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: So we're hoping that, Well, I know me being here isn't going to cheer him up, but maybe Me letting him vent, get all his aggressions out.

>> Mike: So for five years you've been coming over here and we've been.

>> Darin: We're almost at five.

>> Mike: Almost at five.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: We do a show a week.

>> Mike: 52 times. Five. And sometimes we do multiple shows in a night. So let's just call it an even 250 times.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You've been to the house.

>> Darin: Yeah. That sounds fair.

>> Mike: You've knocked or rang the doorbell.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And walked in.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And 250 times that dog has lost her collective. And she's getting worse.

>> Darin: Yeah. She's not getting used to me. You would think that the dog would get used to me.

>> Mike: So there's been theories forever that a dog can tell when a bad person comes around.

>> Darin: That's not me, though.

>> Mike: I'm. Hey, no, I'm not making any accusations.

>> Darin: I know what you mean.

>> Mike: I'm reading the data and telling you what it tells me. I'm saying 250 times in a row, we've, had the equivalent of Lassie barking and saying, timmy's in the well, and this is the guy that threw him down in the well.

>> Darin: Yeah.


So what secrets are you hiding? Let's get into it. What did you do right before you came over here

>> Mike: So what secrets are you hiding? Let's get into it. What are you hiding? What did you do right before you came over here?

>> Darin: I had a spaghetti. I had taco spaghetti for dinner.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then I drove over here.

>> Mike: Yeah. You put a taco in the spaghetti.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Or spaghetti in the taco.

>> Darin: No. The hamburger meat. I put, tomatoes and, taco seasoning.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: In the hamburger.

>> Mike: Oh, no. But no taco shell. No, no.

>> Darin: And then you put it in with the pasta.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: It's yummy.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The boys devour it. Libby loves it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The first time I made it, Libby actually went and she. And she said, can I have seconds? Like, yeah, honey, you run the house. You can. You can have seconds.

>> Mike: So you've seen the Scientology documentaries and things where they run up to people like, what are your crimes?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: What are your crimes? why is that dog?

>> Darin: Well, I demanding to see. I had a few speeding tickets.

>> Mike: I, can't think. That's what.

>> Darin: I can't talk about this on the podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I think the statute of limitations is not up. But it happened in another state.

>> Mike: Okay, that's good. Yeah. There's no extradition from Ohio to wherever this happened. Nowhere.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: You kill somebody up in Delaware. No, no, no, no. You did something.

>> Darin: I've not done anything. Yeah. and I genuinely like Booba. I'd like to rub her ears. And her belly and. Lord.

>> Mike: You've come over here in various states of dress.

>> Darin: Yep. Yeah.

>> Mike: It's not your. You've had T shirts.

>> Darin: I've had shorts.

>> Mike: Yeah. shorts, jeans, jeans.

>> Darin: Last week, I had my David Letterman jacket on, and I was afraid that Booba was going to tear it to shreds.

>> Mike: Yeah. You're basically wearing right now the outfit that I wore my entire college career.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: The shirt with the flannel.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: I'm bringing fancy because it has the buttons, the quarter button. Yeah.

>> Darin: That was bringing grunge back.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: My brother always said that, I was grunge before Grudge was. I was wearing flannel over T shirts before Pearl Jam were even came, out of their mama's belly.

>> Mike: Yeah. I mean, people were. That's the thing is that people were.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like, they were. We were wearing that. We were in college. Everybody was broke.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: You get the flannels and you wear them, and then. And then Eddie Vedder starts wearing them. Now they're all $60.

>> Darin: And then. Nobody gives Ray Romano credit for being so grunge. Ray Romano was grunge af.

>> Mike: Yeah.


Marbles loves me. Marbles can't get enough of me

Yeah.

>> Darin: He had the flannels and the T shirts untucked for six out of seven years of Everybody Loves Raymond.

>> Mike: Why does that dog want to kill you? I don't know, like, hurt you.

>> Darin: Marbles can't get enough of me. She just loves me.

>> Mike: He. He.

>> Darin: Marbles loves me.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. He just comes up and says, hi, how are you? I'm. I'm glad he's here.

>> Mike: He. In terms of nervousness, he doesn't give it. He's the only dog I've ever seen. You can just pick him up.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And he can be in the middle of doing something, like, an actual activity that he's enjoying.

>> Darin: Dogs love activities.

>> Mike: And you just pick him up and carry him like a baby somewhere. He doesn't snarl. He doesn't anything. He just looks around. He may. If. If he was interacting with somebody else in the family, he may look at them forlornly as I walk him away. And then once they're out of sight, he's all. You know, all attention is on whoever's carrying him.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: we, as a family, often someone will get up, pick up Marbles and place him on someone else. And he just lets you do it. And he doesn't try to right himself. He's like, what is it? Opossums. They play dead. He does that. He just. His paws go up.

>> Darin: He just goes limp.

>> Mike: He's Just out. He's just limp. He just put me wherever.

>> Darin: Yeah. But Booba loses her mind when Booba.

>> Mike: Acts like she is in a drug deal. And either she's the one with the drugs, that's going to get. Yeah. Like, in the. Like, they have. The one group comes with a suitcase full of money. And the other crew comes with the drugs.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it's very possible that everybody dies.

>> Darin: It's like the usual suspect.

>> Mike: And they're all looking at each other like, Like every scene in the desert in Breaking Bad.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Everyone could at any moment die. And, then somebody makes a move and somebody else freaks out. Buba is like that. She's like, nacho.

>> Darin: Ah.

>> Mike: better call.

>> Darin: Better call.

>> Mike: Yeah. She will beg. Beg.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.


One of our neighbors has a dog that sounds just like one of our dogs

>> Mike: To go outside. Scratching at the door, doing the thing. We go over to let her out. And then Marbles goes out because he likes to go out every time. And then she won't go out because.

>> Darin: Marbles is going on.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Even if he's not out there, she'll just look at you like, why'd you open the door? What are you doing? You shut the door. You go back, you sit down. She starts doing the thing again. Every Saturday and Sunday, if you were in our house, you would hear that. You would hear someone walk over grumbling, open the door. You'd hear them say, go. Go. Get out. I'm sick of this. And then that's me. That's how I. And then I go lie down. And then she does it again. And then, more expletives come from me. And I come and let her out. And then 30 seconds later, she's trying to get back in all day long.

>> Darin: Yeah. That's what Conrad was like. Well, with going outside.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But Conrad was a sweetheart. When you'd go over, he would be excited that you would come, and he would howl.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And then about five minutes of that. And he's like.

>> Mike: He's just tired.

>> Darin: Oh. So. Oh, so you came to see me? Yeah. You know. And, But, no, he's a dog. And so we had a big backyard. Perfect for a dog.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Perfect for a dog to run and explore and smell things.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And we would let him out, and within a minute, he's back on the porch.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Why do we have this giant yard?

>> Mike: Yeah. And, here's another thing that annoys me. One of our neighbors has a dog that has a bark that sounds just like one of our dogs.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: To the point where I'll hear the dogs Out. And I'll look around and I'll see marbles laying on somebody. And booba. And completely away from somebody. and then I know it's not them. But then I wonder if other neighbors are hearing that dog howl and think that it's booba.

>> Darin: I don't know.

>> Mike: And I want to get on a loudspeaker and yell out, this is not booba. But that's not. That's frowned upon at midnight. Somebody on a loudspeaker yelling out into the neighborhood. That's not my dog.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: Some would say that's more annoying than the dog.

>> Darin: I, I kind of said something the other night. I went outside. I was. Mom, was leaving, and I'm walking mom out to her car, and we have a neighbor. Very nice neighbor.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: and it's not the neighbor you're thinking of.

>> Mike: I know, Chris, because you said very nice. I know. I know who it's not.

>> Darin: No, no. But this dog barks at me every time I'm in my driveway. Every time I'm in my front yard. And I said, I live here.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then the person who owns the dog was on the porch with the said dog. And they come on, come on. Like, let's go inside. But I mean, come on.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: For God's sake.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I live here.

>> Mike: That dog's not paying rent.

>> Darin: I can walk out in my driveway if I want to.


That's how I get my mail. I walk out to the mailbox. It's your mailbox. Mhm. Yeah. I live there.

That's how I get my mail.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I walk out to the mailbox.

>> Mike: It's your mailbox.

>> Darin: It's my mailbox. I live there. I'm paying the damn mortgage and I'm getting barked at because I'm in my yard. Yeah, I don't think so.


How long has the Walking Dead been off the air? Three years

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Books. Buy a book at a reputable bookstore or check one out for free at your local public library. Read one today. They're really cool. Now back to the show.

>> Darin: How long has the Walking Dead been off the air? not long enough. Three years or four years. Libby and I, we finally finished it. We decided that.

>> Mike: We thought you finished it years ago.

>> Darin: No, we had. We gave up on it.

>> Mike: Let me ask you this.

>> Darin: There was a time. Yeah. Yes. They found another farm.

>> Mike: I was just gonna ask what stage it ends on. Does it end with them going to a farm? Does it end with them being in the farm and meeting a new person? Does it end with that person becoming a zombie? Huh? Or does it end with them leaving that.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Farm in flames?

>> Darin: Well, I'll tell you.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Spoiler alert.

>> Mike: Well, I'm gonna watch it eventually.

>> Darin: Yeah. But we had given up on it because it was, like, right in the middle of the last season where it just got weird. They moved into this community, and the community had electricity, and they had a. Like, a post office and a courthouse. And they had lawyers. And they had lawyers. Lawyers, yeah. People they hired people to. They had, like, trials, and it was kind of like Law and order Zombie land.

>> Mike: Seems like if you're going to bring back society, lawyers would be like, tail end. No. Ain't nobody got time for that.

>> Darin: No. So. And it was in this community. And Eugene. I'm hot and cold with Eugene. Eugene got on my nerves more than not.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But Eugene fell in love with this girl, this woman, this, female.

>> Mike: A lady.

>> Darin: A lady? Yes. This. This chick, this dame.

>> Mike: Broad.

>> Darin: This hussy.

>> Mike: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This harlot?

>> Darin: Yes. And he shares his love for her, and then she disappears. And so then it turned into. What happened to, Kelly. I don't know her name.

>> Mike: She became a zombie. Is that right?

>> Darin: Yeah. Well, she disappeared. Okay. So then he was, like, investigating and. And following people.

>> Mike: Oh, God. It turned into csi Walking Dead. Yes.

>> Darin: They were doing, like, recreations, and what if she had done this? And. And black and white footage, and it was just like.

>> Mike: At any point did he go.

>> Darin: And I'm like, this isn't the Walking Dead of yesteryear. Of lore. And it just.

>> Mike: Did they find a helicopter in a volcano and take it out to go fight crime?

>> Darin: God, I wish that would have been something. There was another episode like that, then a third one, and we just put it aside.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then next thing you know, like, a year had gone by, or two years. And then Jacob started watching it. We're like, jacob, you can't watch the Walking Dead. Mom and dad haven't finished it yet. It's going to throw off the whole Netflix. Yeah. Where we are in the season.

>> Mike: Oh, okay.

>> Darin: So then out of selfishness.

>> Mike: Yeah.


There's three Walking Dead spin offs now

>> Darin: Out of pure greed, we decided, let's just finish it. Okay. so the plot line with Eugene and his girlfriend ends up getting a little better. Then the zombie story got pretty good. It ended pretty good, but my God, did they. They had a meeting and they're like, guys, I don't think we have enough blood and guts on this show. They jacked it up by, like, 107.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So much blood. Blood was on the TV, oozed through the screen.

>> Mike: Blood. Yeah. It's very unsanitary.

>> Darin: So, yeah. I know, but it ended and we were so excited that we finished it. And. And you know what? It's not over. They teased Mike. There's three spin offs now.

>> Mike: Yeah. The Fear of the Walking Dead.

>> Darin: Well, Fear the Walking Dead was already a thing, and we used to watch that one, too, when we were, like, really hopped up and. And big into the Walking Dead.

>> Mike: Yo, mama's dead.

>> Darin: Your mama's Dead. Walking Dead.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: The Fear of the Walking Dead.

>> Mike: Emers, Jug Band, Walking Dead. That was another one that. It was the Christmas special.

>> Darin: Walking Dead, Los Angeles. The. But no, we had, we were watching that and there was a kid on, this teenage guy, a drug addict. And I looked at living. I said, are you rooting for the drug addict kid to die? And I don't have a problem with.

>> Mike: Nothing wrong with per se.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No. Well, I was gonna say you do. You listen. Stop doing the drugs. I have a problem with them. I wanted him to get off the drugs.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But I also wanted the zombies to kill him because he was annoying. So annoying. So we gave up on Fear the Walking Dead and we gave up on it even before one of our favorite characters from Walking Dead was moved over to Fear the Walking Dead. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: They transferred a character.

>> Darin: They did. They transferred him over because, I guess, ratings, they needed to, Whatever. So they moved one of our favorite characters, the guy with the wooden stick.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: So they moved in to Fear the Walking Dead.

>> Mike: Kind of like how they made the Jeffersons.

>> Darin: They branched off of all in the Family. Yeah. And then off of all in the Family, you also got mod. And from Mod, you got Good Times.

>> Mike: Yeah. But with far fewer zombies in those.

>> Darin: Way less zombies than. Yeah, yeah. So we thought that Walking Dead was over with. And somebody asked me, like, how did you not know that they were making all these spin offs? Because we stopped watching amc.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And where they promoted all. So Rick and Michon. Spoiler alert. Had. Have a six episode spin off.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. Daryl Dixon has his own show.

>> Mike: Okay. And is it the Daryl Dixon Show?

>> Darin: The Daryl Dixon show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight. It's Daryl Dixon. Straight talk with Daryl Dixon. Yeah.

>> Mike: I flew in all the way from Tennessee, and boy, my arms tired, tired.

>> Darin: And then Maggie, and Negan. Have a spin off. I was so excited because we were done with the Walking Dead, but now we're not.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And I'm like, do we. So we're watching Rick and Michonne now.


Irritable Dad Syndrome is Cincinnati's comedy podcast

We're four episodes into the six episodes of that, but I'm watching the Walking Dead. And I never realized this, up until we had really taken a break from it and started watching it again. Have you ever noticed that all the zombies look like they've been to a Nirvana concert? They're all so great grunge looking. And you never see, like, a Van Halen T shirt or some chicken? A prom dress or maybe. Maybe T shirts or anything like that?

>> Mike: No. Nothing?

>> Darin: No. No.

>> Speaker D: You.

>> Darin: Yeah. You never see anyone with a skull bandit hat?

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Nikes?

>> Darin: no. Yeah, there's like, product placement.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: We had a guy come over to the house and he gave us a, an estimate. We're wanting to get our bathroom redone.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: There's just all kinds of. The bathtub. We don't want the bathtub anymore. We've got a door that goes to our turret and the door that goes into the bathroom. They're like the Vernon Shirley doors. They open up and they bang into each other. And if one door is open too far and you try to open the door that gets into the bathroom, you're. You're. Yeah. So we've had all these people come and give us estimates and. Oh, my God, every estimate's been a lot more than we were hoping to spend. But anywho, the guy was there and he was talking to us after he looked over our bathroom, and Jacob walks in. And for those who don't know, my son Jacob, Jacob's got really long hair. And so Jacob says hi to the guy, and the guy's talking to Jacob and everything, and he says, yeah, you know what? Last year I had really long hair myself. And, he says, and I had to put in a ponytail so that when I sleep, it wouldn't, get all in my face. And. And, And after a while, the ponytail started bothering me. And I finally, you know, it's like, you know, I finally just decided to, you know, cut it short. But I do miss the long hair. And then he starts talking about. I can't remember if he was preacher kid.

>> Mike: His band.

>> Darin: Okay, no, he's not in a band.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But I can't remember if he was a preacher's kid, but he started talking about how he's a follower and. And a very super nice guy, and. But then he started talking about the long hair again.

>> Dave: And.

>> Darin: And I'm trying to get to this joke that, this. Whenever somebody talks about, Jesus and long hair, there was this perfect joke by David Brenner. And I was just getting ready to tell it when. And then he told the joke. I'm like, how? I thought he got into. But the joke is, there was a guy and he was wanting to borrow his dad's car, and he's wanting his dad to buy him a car. And he says, dad, can you buy me a car? And he says, tell you what, I'll buy you a car when you cut that long hair. And he says, well, you know, dad, Jesus had really long hair. And the father says, yes, that's true. And Jesus also walked everywhere he went.

>> Mike: I thought it was funny.

>> Darin: Thank you. I wish it was my. I wish I'd written that joke. David Brenner was a great, great joke teller.


The ES 1932 scissor lift is ideal for indoor maintenance and outdoor construction projects

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by the ES 1932 scissor lift. Hi, I'm Dave Lay, and when it comes to working with heights, I don't screw around with ladders. I do the job right with the ES 1932 scissor lift. If you have high ceilings, this bad boy is ideal for indoor maintenance. And it's perfect for outdoor construction projects, too. This electric scissor lift has twice the battery power of a standard scissor lift. It can power through tough terrain. The platform is strong enough to hold plenty of weight. And with a silencing muffler, this scissor lift is much quieter than diesel models. The ES 1932 scissor lift for people who don't screw around with ladders. Certified users only.


Joe Chambers covers Johnny Cash songs on TikTok

Now back to the show.

>> Darin: I'm on TikTok, and Mike's on TikTok.

>> Mike: Huh?

>> Darin: And there's this guy that I've recently started following on TikTok. His name is Joe Chambers, okay? His handle is Joe Chambers, 50. And you have to check this guy out because he does a dead on. I mean, oh, my God, he sounds almost exactly like Johnny Cash. And for those who know me, I loved Johnny Cash. Still love Johnny Cash. I listen to his music all the time. But he doesn't just do Johnny Cash songs. He does Johnny Cash singing heavy metal songs. He has done Johnny Cash doing Guns N Roses, Johnny Cash doing AC dc. My favorite is his version of Johnny Cash doing the Ace of Spades by Motorhead.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: I listened to it. I reached out to the guy and I said, can I play this song on my podcast? And he said, absolutely. Knock it out. So here it is. The Ace of Spades by Motorhead as covered by Johnny Cash by Joe Chambers.

>> Speaker D: If you like to gamble, I'll tell you I'm your man. You Win some and lose some it's all the same to me Pleasure is to play Makes no difference what you say I don't share your greed Cause the only card I need is the ace of spades, the ace of spades Playing for the high one, Dancing with the devil, going with the flow it's all a game to me 7 or 11ST guys are watching you Double up or quit Double stake or split the ace of spades, ace of spades.

>> Darin: You.

>> Speaker D: Know I'm ah going to lose Gambling is for fools but that's the way I like it baby I don't want to live forever don't forget the joker Pushing up the antique oh you got to see me Read em and weep the dead man's hand again I see it in your eyes Take one look and die Everything you see well you know it's gotta be the ace of space the ace of space.

>> Darin: Oh my God, it's the best. It's absolutely. I love right in the middle where he starts talking because Johnny Cash would sometimes instead of singing a lyric, he would, he would speak the lyrics. but anyway, Joe Chambers, thank you for letting us play the song. And if you guys are on the tick tock, look him up, follow him. He's a good dude.


Last week's episode was My Cinnamon Roll Looks like a Beaver

>> Dave: It's time now for An Irritable Dead Syndrome previous story update.

>> Mike: Every once in a while we. I have a title or something that you don't like, but we push it forward and then you have one that I don't like and we push it forward. We.

>> Darin: I don't think we've done that in a long time, though.

>> Mike: Most of the time we agree. But every once in a while there's one last, night. We had what I'm going to call the 2025 beaver conspiracy. So I'm going to.

>> Darin: Last week's episode was My Cinnamon Roll Looks like a Beaver.

>> Mike: So I'm going to pull the curtain back on this show a little bit. I think it's time to let our loyal listeners in on a little secret. If figured it out already, our art department is A.I.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because I'm not an artiste, as it were.

>> Darin: Neither am I.

>> Mike: And we have in the past we've collected other little bits of art and things and created artwork for the show. And then we found, hey, we don't want to get sued for anything, right? And then it was like, wow, we can make AI art. so we do. So I start with the album or the, I'm sorry, the episode title. I put it into the program. and I see what comes back. So you could try this at home. Kids, put in my beaver or my cinnamon roll. Looks like a beaver.

>> Darin: My cinnamon roll. Yeah.

>> Mike: And see what comes back. An image came back almost instantly.

>> Darin: And boy, did that cinnamon roll look like a beaver.

>> Mike: Yeah. Boy, there were. No, you can't say that. No, you can't. Boy, did that cinnamon roll look like a beaver. It did. It looks. Looked pornographically like a.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So I called there.

>> Darin: Darren knows Mike never calls me.

>> Mike: No, never.

>> Darin: If something's happened to Mike.

>> Mike: So our episodes release on Tuesdays. Darren. Knows if the phone rings Monday night.

>> Darin: I haven't sent him the clip.

>> Mike: You got to answer it. Yeah, you got to answer. Something's happening. And when you answer the phone, what happened here was I called Bess into the room because I'm like, maybe I'm. I have a damaged mind, Darren. I see.

>> Darin: I agree.

>> Mike: I see things that aren't there.

>> Darin: And sadly, you and I are pretty much on the same wavelength.

>> Mike: And she came over the computer and she said, and I quote, what's that? And I said, does it look to you like what it looks like to me? And she's like, yeah. She's like, well, what's the title? I was like. And she's like, why did you guys name it that? And then it became, what. What do you guys talk about? And I was like, you listen to the show?

>> Darin: Yeah. We were like, right out the gate.

>> Mike: How did this happen? I'm like, yeah, okay. I am partially responsible for the title, but that's not what's important right now. What's important is what's on our screen and what FBI watch list we're probably on right now. So I called you.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Now you had. I don't know what. You were having family time in front of the computer. I call and there's like a whole. It's like the Waltons. There's you and Libby and everyone, Cameron, gathered around the computer.

>> Darin: Well, we were eating dinner in my dining room, and the dining room is also where I edit the podcast.

>> Mike: So I sent you this image.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And, you sent your child out of the room.

>> Darin: He did not.

>> Mike: I asked you to.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: We could tell because you were like, I can't see. There's nothing coming. And we could tell the instant it came over because you were instantly out of breath laughing. And then we heard Libby in the background laughing. And Cameron. Confused laughing.

>> Darin: Yes.


There are moments when we're doing this podcast where we think about writing a book

>> Mike: And, boy howdy, kids. we're going to unveil that image. To. To our patrons.

>> Darin: Oh, yeah, the podcast. You could see the rejected artwork.

>> Mike: we may start a, Irritable Dad Syndrome only fans page. That'll be a. That'll be on our.

>> Darin: So what's. For a second there, you said, I don't think we're going to be able to do this. Do you have another possible title? To which I said, then what about Percy and the Mouse Jiggler? No, we're right back where we started.

>> Mike: Right back where we started. And I started.

>> Darin: And that wasn't a bad title either.

>> Mike: No, no, no.

>> Darin: But nothing as good as My Cinnamon.

>> Mike: Roll Looks like a Beaver. And I began to convince myself that we're just going to use this picture. And. And. And we had decided we were going to blur out the. More the beaverish parts.

>> Darin: Yeah. And then put censored across.

>> Mike: Censored.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: And then I just. As a. As a Hail Mary. That's a sports reference.

>> Darin: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

>> Mike: Football. As a Hail Mary. I entered the prompt again to see what would come back, and then what came back was the actual.

>> Darin: The most adorable be. Looks like a cinnamon roll.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That was a beaver. That looked like a cinnamon roll.

>> Mike: Yeah. The other one was that looks like a beaver. Yes. That's. There are moments when we're doing this podcast. I think someday, if. If this thing ever takes off, one of us or both of us is going to write a book. And I'm like, this is going to be.

>> Darin: This will be a chapter.

>> Mike: A chapter.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. The. The cinnamon roll looks like one of.

>> Darin: These days it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen.


M. Darren: Libby made homemade sourdough cinnamon rolls

Speaking of cinnamon rolls, M. Libby made homemade sourdough cinnamon rolls. And, oh, my God, they were amazing. And she. She made them. And the first batch that she made, it made so many. So she froze some of the dough to eat at a later time. And the first batch that she made, the icing that she made required, you could either use honey or syrup and something. And it was good, but it wasn't great. It didn't taste like your typical, cinnamon roll glaze. Okay. So she said. And I said, have you thought about, like, doing. You know, because we've made a cream cheese frosting before with powdered sugar and cream cheese and vanilla. Extra. Or extract. Extract, yeah. Extra vanilla, as I used to call it when I was a kid. Mommy, can you put extra vanilla in it? No, sweetie, it's vanilla extract. And then I would start crying because she corrected me in front of my brother. But that's Another story. So Libby made this cream cheese frosting. And, after church, mom came over. We had our lunch, and we had a problem with lunch. Jacob accidentally washed, the chicken. We fried up chicken, which we're making Chicken quesadillas.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: We fried up the chicken quesadillas, and it was in the pan, and Libby was putting them in the quesadilla maker, and she had the pan next to the dishwasher or next to the sink. And Jacob, went to wash his hands and just didn't look. And then accidentally, got, soapy water all in the pan that had the chicken. So we only had one quesadilla that we split between five people. He's like, that's not gonna go on.

>> Mike: The podcast, is it us?

>> Darin: I said, no.

>> Mike: No, it's not. Anyway.

>> Darin: We had lunch. A, little bit of lunch. And then Libby baked the, the cinnamon rolls, and we all had three of them. And then we were all, like, in a coma after each eating three. Three of these unbelievably delicious.

>> Mike: Okay. Okay.

>> Darin: Cinnamon rolls with homemade.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Glaze. God.

>> Mike: Darren.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: Darren.

>> Darin: What?

>> Mike: I talked. now. Okay, full disclosure. Okay. I've been eating at least two donuts a day for the past month.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: At least.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Okay. I am no saint. I've been driving out of my way to get said donuts. Right? I've been getting different varieties of donuts that I don't normally eat.

>> Darin: You know?

>> Mike: You know, my horizon. Why? Right?

>> Darin: Because they're delicious.


Libby has gotten into the sourdough bread cult. She needs to get a celery hobby

>> Mike: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I am not without sin. However. However, we were talking about losing weight and fitness just a couple weeks ago.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: And you said, and I quote, I need to. I need to. I'm doing something I'm going to start doing, so I need to. I wasn't listening to you.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: I don't know why I said, and I quote, but you, you, you, you.

>> Darin: I didn't tell her to make them.

>> Mike: This is. She has gotten the wrong hobby. She needs to get a celery hobby.

>> Darin: Huh?

>> Mike: Right? Or tofu. How did she get into tofu?

>> Darin: I know. I'm going to tell her to get into. Get into, like, an Ants on the log club, where you take celery, peanut butter, and raisins.

>> Mike: Get a juicer and beets and knock yourself out.

>> Darin: A juicer club. Yeah.

>> Mike: By the way, we bought a juicer, years. Like when we first bought this house years ago, and I had the stupid idea of putting beets in there. It looked like the you ever remember the story of the first 48? Like when there's a murder and they first walk into the house? That's what it looked like. It looked like someone had been killed in our kitchen. It was, brutal.

>> Darin: Beats gross. So, yeah, Libby I've mentioned two or three times now over the past month. I think that Libby is in a cult. The sourdough bread cult. And the other day we were heating up leftover pizza and I take the. I turned on the oven to let it warm up. And then, I go to put said pizza in the oven and holy crap, there is a bowl with dough, inside covered by a towel. We could have set the whole house on fire. Like, I got that out and let me said my starter is my starter.

>> Mike: Okay. Intervention. You realize what you're doing right now? You're telling the story of Halloween or Friday the 13th, but instead of Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees, it's a, sourdough bread.

>> Darin: I know.

>> Mike: I opened the door and there was a sourdough Brett. It had a ghost sheet on it and it, you know, it threw a breadstick at me.

>> Darin: I was so happy.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: That I didn't set the kitchen on fire. And Libby's first reaction was my starter.

>> Mike: Does Libby. Did you think Libby cares about you and your health?

>> Darin: Libby loves me very much.

>> Mike: Why is she doing this to you?

>> Darin: She always wanted to try sourdough. She'd always wanted to try it.

>> Mike: And it's like me walking in, say, hey, we're going to start experimenting with opiates. Let's try. Let's try some H. What do you think? Line it up with your H. Get it?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, my Lord.

>> Darin: so we're backing off.

>> Mike: How are you backing off?

>> Darin: We decided that the cinnamon rolls would be something that we did. that's like a Christmas morning treat.

>> Mike: You were gonna say one time. You were. And you pulled back.

>> Darin: Well, we've already done it twice. Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: But that's because the batches she made. M made so many of them.


Darren: All of our bedrooms and our bathrooms have no sourdough

>> Mike: I'm gonna ask you a very. Shut up. Shut up. I'm asking a very important question.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Is there an area in your house.

>> Mike: That has a door that separates it from the rest of the house that you can go to that you know for a fact has no sourdough bread or dough?

>> Darin: Yeah. Where is there, Is there a room.

>> Mike: Is there a room in your house.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Where you can go where you know there's no sourdough bread?

>> Darin: Yeah. All of our bedrooms and our bathrooms. And the downstairs, the downstairs basement.

>> Mike: I don't believe you.

>> Darin: Okay. There's no.

>> Mike: At least three loaves.

>> Darin: We just have it in the kitchen. Actually, there's no sourdough.

>> Mike: How many bathrooms? How many bathrooms do you have?

>> Darin: We have, two and a half baths.

>> Mike: So one of them has bread in it.

>> Darin: There might be bread residue. There's probably dough evidence all over the house. CSI comes in the bedrooms. We don't have any bread in our bedroom.

>> Mike: If I go to your house right now, I'm finding bread in every bedroom in your house.

>> Darin: We ate all the cinnamon rolls and we ate all the bread.

>> Mike: And that's why there's no bread in the bedrooms is because, you guys, we've.

>> Darin: Eaten all of it. Yeah.

>> Mike: All right, where's the starter?

>> Darin: It's in the kitchen. Yeah, yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Where in the kitchen? Yeah, yeah. Is it front and center in the refrigerator or is it in the back where it can be forgotten? It's front and center, isn't it?

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: Because you gotta feed it.

>> Darin: Because you gotta feed it. That's right.

>> Mike: You gotta feed the monkey on your back. You need help. It was funny a week or two ago. It's not funny anymore. This is no longer Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Darin: I need help.

>> Mike: This you need. Thank you. Thank you. That's the first step. That's the first step.

>> Darin: It's acknowledgement.

>> Mike: The first step is acknowledgement. Acknowledge a day and time.

>> Darin: I'm Darren and I have a problem.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: but you, if you had one of them sim roles, you'd never get a donut again.

>> Mike: Libby.

>> Darin: Oh, Mike.

>> Mike: Libby, I'm, I'm sorry, I'm talking to Libby.

>> Darin: I'm talking directly to Libby.

>> Mike: Okay, Libby, Darren loves you very much.

>> Darin: I do.

>> Mike: Yeah. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings. He also doesn't want to stop eating sourdough bread. You can see the conundrum that this puts Darren. I don't need your help. I don't need your help. He's in a pinch, Libby.

>> Darin: I'm in a pickle.

>> Mike: Maybe. Now, I'm not saying go cold turkey, okay? Because now you're thinking of turkey sandwiches with the sour on sourdough bread. Okay. With mayonnaise, maybe go whole wheat.

>> Darin: That's not sourdough.

>> Mike: It's bread.

>> Darin: Yeah, I know, but it's not sourdough bread.

>> Mike: They don't make sourdough.

>> Darin: Wheat, wheat, wheat.

>> Mike: Can you put Cool Whip on wheat bread?

>> Darin: You can put Cool Whip on anything.

>> Mike: You can.


Darren: I think part of the answer is to remove the starter

Especially those, cinnamon now we're heading to my diet. My donut thing. Okay. I don't know what the answer is. I think part of the answer is to remove the. Put the starter in the back of the fridge.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Can you put it in the back of the fridge?

>> Darin: I guess. I guess we can put it in hibernation.

>> Mike: You can hibernate it.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Is that like you put it in a cave?

>> Darin: I. I don't know. I don't know. And she. And then she's got Jacob involved in it because, you know, they go and they feed it. Okay. And then they check it and it should have double. Did it double? Hey, mom, it doubled. It doubled.

>> Mike: The starter's double.

>> Darin: And they're like, oh my God, it's rising again. Look at the starter. And you talk to the starter and then she goes. And she like, she like touches the starter and she's like, my sweet starter.

>> Mike: Sweet.

>> Darin: She doesn't do that.

>> Mike: But I'm gonna, I want you to be 100% honest with. I'm gonna ask you a question.

>> Darin: I've never been anything but honest with you.

>> Mike: Have you more than once.

>> Mike: In the past week, gotten up in the middle of the night to go look at the starter?

>> Darin: No, I haven't. But Libby has had an. Okay. And she should be on here because I'm telling her stories now. There have been a couple of nights where she hasn't slept because she's thinking about having to make the bread. And there's one night, it was like 3am and then she made the, Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: She had a binge. She see the danger here, Darren? Are you seeing the danger? We're laughing about it like it's no big deal. You are a family in Crisis.

>> Darin: I need Dr. Phil.

>> Mike: You need help. okay. I'm gonna think about what we can do.

>> Darin: But now listen. okay, let me tell you.

>> Mike: Are we bargaining now? Is that. Is that what we're doing?

>> Darin: Yesterday.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: Okay. We had a very light dinner.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: I have cut my portions back. I have.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: This morning I usually have a big bowl of cereal. I had a very small bowl of cereal. Okay. I usually have a banana. A bowl of cereal. And that's right, like, right when I get up and get. Cameron. Whatever. And then sometimes I grab a cereal bar before work. I don't need to eat all of that stuff. So this morning I just had a small bowl of cereal. I had a very small lunch. And then for dinner, I told you, I made taco spaghetti. I used all wheat pasta. I had One serving. I didn't go and get, extras. I still wanted some. But you got to stop eating. You don't just keep eating because it tastes good. You don't full, you don't stop.

>> Mike: Is. Louis CK Says you don't eat until you hate yourself if you stop prior.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: that's right.

>> Darin: And there have been times where I've done that.

>> Mike: What cereal do are you eating?

>> Darin: Shredded Wheat.

>> Mike: That's good.

>> Darin: It's not bad. Yeah, I usually.

>> Mike: Bad.

>> Darin: I usually eat the Shredded Wheat or Honey Nut Cheerios.


I bought Rice Chex because I thought nobody eats this as cereal

>> Mike: Yeah, okay.

>> Darin: Honey Nut Cheerios has a low amount of sugar or I Raisin, Bran crunch.

>> Mike: So I bought a cereal on a goof because I thought, nobody ever eats this cereal. I bought Rice Chex because I thought nobody eats this as cereal. Everybody just makes Chex mix with it.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: And I found Rice Chex is healthy. And if you put two or three handfuls of sugar in there with it.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: because I like to scoop the sugar off the bottom.

>> Darin: Scrape it off the bottom.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And then you drink the milk.

>> Mike: The same thing with the. With. With the Rice Krispies. There's something about the Chex. They. There's enough. It gets the milk. See, Rice Krispies are amazing, but the Chex sucks the milk into that middle.

>> Darin: Yeah. And if they made frosted rice checks, it'd be over with.

>> Mike: Oh, they do, don't. I think they do.

>> Darin: I think they did.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I don't know that they still do.

>> Mike: You know, frosted mini Wheats. Do you remember when they were big?

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: Those were the days.

>> Darin: Be like, you would open up a.

>> Mike: Bag and a half. Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. There'd be, like, four in a box or something.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Right? Yeah. Like four bricks of wheat. Yeah.

>> Mike: And you get down to the bottom, and it's just like, little wheat specs with all the sugar. You can snort that.

>> Darin: Yeah. I'm gonna say it again. Would it kill you Kellogg's. Would it kill you to frost the cereal on both sides? Come on. No. The answer is no. It wouldn't kill you anyway. But tonight at dinner, I had. I had a small serving of pasta, and then I was done, and I didn't eat anymore.

>> Mike: Are you gonna eat tonight?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: You're gonna go home and go to bed.

>> Darin: Yes. See, right now I'm being 100 honest with you.

>> Mike: So today I've had two donuts.

>> Darin: Okay. What kind of donuts?

>> Mike: Oh, Duncan.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Downgraded. I do sometimes go to Holtzman's because. Oh, my God. Lord.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: No, that's why I'm saying no judgment with the sourdough. I'm trying to help you. I've got a two donut a day habit.

>> Darin: you know what? I did. Not last weekend, but the weekend. The last two weekends I've done this podcast.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: on my way home I stopped at the UDF and get a little Debbie snack cake.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I eat it in the car. Because if you eat it in the car when no one's looking, it doesn't count.

>> Mike: That's right, it doesn't count.

>> Darin: Yeah, it doesn't count.

>> Mike: So I.

>> Darin: Nothing weird about that.

>> Mike: I ate those donuts. They were at lunch.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So probably. And then I went to the gym after work. So I burnt. I know for a fact I've burned off the chocolate donut.


I'm trying to lose an exceptional amount of weight between now and March

the blueberry is still circulating around. But I also did not eat breakfast. So transfer those calories over that way.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And then I had the meatball surprise thing, which is relatively healthy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: because I use the protein. Heavy.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: All I need to do when you walk your sourdough eating ass out of this house is to guzzle about three of these waters. And go to sleep.

>> Mike: That's what I need to do.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: What's probably going to happen is I'm going to make some popcorn because I deserve it.

>> Darin: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Mike: It's Tuesday.

>> Darin: But last night after dinner, Libby and I and Cameron, we went to the gym.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I did a half hour on the elliptical thing. I did, a lot of ab exercises and I lifted some weights. I'm proud of you. Thank you.

>> Mike: Have you lost anything?

>> Darin: I did.

>> Mike: Did you found it?

>> Darin: I did. I did and I found it. Yeah.

>> Mike: Yeah. That's what I did. I got down to.

>> Darin: It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle change.

>> Mike: Yeah. I got down to. And then I celebrated and then I went back higher than I was before. I just.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: See, I have to travel at the end of March.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: And I hate to travel fat because I've done it before and it's miserable. M. So I'm trying to lose an exceptional amount of weight between now and the end of March. I have a good plan. If I drink three of those, cut off an arm. If I drink three of those and just go straight to bed tonight, I know I'm going to weigh less tomorrow morning than I did this morning.

>> Mike: That's really the goal is to weigh a little bit less each day?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: This is literally the goal.

>> Darin: A little less each day.


Warning: This portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome contains sensitive material

>> Dave: Just a tad warning, this portion of Irritable Dad Syndrome contains sensitive material and is for mature audiences only. Yeah, right. Like any mature people. Listen to this crap.

>> Mike: You ever weighed yourself and then pooped and then weighed yourself again?

>> Darin: No, but I watched. What's that TV show where they experiment, and see that things. If. If it can happen.

>> Mike: Or mythbusters.

>> Darin: Mythbusters.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: That was an episode of Mythbusters. Do you lose weight after you poop?

>> Mike: I didn't.

>> Darin: Oh.

>> Mike: Really pissed me off. Yeah, it. I was excited. I. I got. I usually every morning.

>> Darin: How could you not?

>> Mike: I don't know. I don't know what happened. That's why I'm starting to think something weird's going on.

>> Darin: Okay, this is good. Did you. Did you weigh the.

>> Mike: No.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: No, I went. I weighed myself.

>> Darin: Uhhuh. Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And then I went potty with pot. Pot with the coffee. To. Oh, yeah. Force things along. And I went, pot, pot. I went. I don't want to get disgusting here. But I went, so, pot, pot.

>> Darin: What is my dad in the house? That.

>> Mike: There was a pyramid rising up above the water. A pyramid. Not just a lone turd. A structure. Not floating.

>> Darin: That's what's called the iceberg.

>> Mike: Yeah. It was a foundation on the bottom of the toilet and stuck up. It was a significant stop. It was a significant amount of feces.

>> Darin: Did you. Did you think you needed to call into work?

>> Mike: No, but I. It was on a weekend, so I had all day. I was proud of it. I almost took a picture. The only reason I didn't take a picture is because Bess and I, we have our phone set to where we don't like to upload, but we like to save all our pictures. So we have both of our phone set to. Any picture taken or downloaded goes immediately to the family photo thing.

>> Darin: Oh, God.

>> Mike: And I don't want turds all over.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: You know, I don't want, Bess, being like, what are you. What. What is.

>> Darin: I'm sorry that this has happened to the podcast. I'm so sorry.

>> Mike: And I got excited. I wiped.

>> Darin: Sorry.

>> Mike: I washed my hands.

>> Darin: Sorry.

>> Mike: And I went back out to the scale.

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And I weighed myself, and I was the same weight.

>> Darin: Hey, what, happened?

>> Mike: There's only one way that could happen. The only thing that I ingested was the cup of coffee. I must have drank the same amount of coffee as came, from betwixt my, bootakas.

>> Darin: Anyone who's listening is never gonna listen again. We've completely Turned everybody off. they're never gonna listen again. And I can't possibly, possibly edit that.

>> Mike: Out of the process. You got to keep it in.

>> Darin: That's what she said.

>> Mike: I mean, there are medical personnel, medical professionals who listen to the show. I love how that happened. Is it possible? I mean, it was the.


This portion of the podcast is for you hardcore sick bastards

I mean, anybody. It was this mug. This is my usual pooping mug, which is be sipping.

>> Darin: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes.

>> Mike: Science.

>> Darin: You know, the good news is there's a lot of people who download the episode, listen to like five minutes and then they just give up.

>> Mike: So, yeah, this is, this is for you hardcore sick bastards.

>> Darin: If you hardcore sick bastards out there hear this portion of the podcast, send us a message.

>> Mike: You know, you see horror movies, like, of, possessions and like poltergeists and whatever.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it's always like, yeah, a pot falls from something. I felt like I was in one of those movies when I weighed the same after pooping that much.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It was like, nah, Something's got its toe on the scale behind me. It's not physically possible.

>> Darin: The guy who was at our house and was looking at our bathroom and talking about redoing it or whatever, asked if we wanted to keep the door, on the room where the turret is. And we're like, yes, yes, we absolutely are keeping the door. Because I don't know what you guys do.

>> Mike: Wave at people walking by.

>> Darin: Just the pooping. The door is staying. Yeah, yeah, the door will stay there. I don't care If I'm married 109 years.

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: The door is closed when I'm doing that. I remember when, when Libby and I were gonna move in together, a friend of mine, a real close friend of mine, says, well, you're never gonna poop again at your house.

>> Mike: this is years ago. I stayed in a hotel. I, I think it was in Germany. The way it was set up is you were. You sit on the turlet and the, the wall to your left where the sink was, was glass.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And it was frosted. And you could push a button and it becomes clear and you could see right into where the bed and everything was. And it was, it was clear when I. There was like a button that makes it. It's like, it does. It does not like frosty. It's like a thing. It's like you push it and it goes it like clear on both sides. Yeah.

>> Darin: No, yeah, no.

>> Mike: So, dude, pooping can totally just like look over and if you're sitting on the bed.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Or anywhere else in the room. You look over, you just see this. The profile. Of someone pooping?

>> Darin: Yeah. No.

>> Mike: Why?

>> Darin: No baby.

>> Mike: But I thought how awesome that would be. I wish I never was able to take Bess over there with me. I would have loved for that to have been our room. Because I would have gone into poop and then I would have pushed the button. Honey. Hey. How you doing? Hey, check this out. Yeah. At some point, the architect said this is a feature we need to have in this room.

>> Darin: No, there's. I think it's. Is it New York somebody? Where they had that toilet that. Sorry, the toilet. It was like in the middle of Times Square or something. Oh, where you. You could see out all four, but nobody can see in.

>> Mike: Yeah. Ah, I would not trust that.

>> Darin: No, no, I know. With all my friends. Yeah. Darren tried out, I promise you. So I'm just sitting there, you know, red vein, eyes crossed.

>> Mike: Oh, my God.


Darren Cox: This is the dumbest episode we've ever done

>> Darin: Okay, we've dropped this little 243 episodes.

>> Mike: You ever watch any of the Jackass movies?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I have not. I don't.

>> Mike: I. I think it's the first one. They had a Porta Potty, huh?

>> Darin: Uh-huh.

>> Mike: And they hooked it up to a slingshot.

>> Darin: Oh, God.

>> Mike: And Steve O. Goes in there to poop and they.

>> Darin: They launched it with him.

>> Mike: Launched it with him in there. And.

>> Darin: And it didn't kill him.

>> Mike: Oh, no. you could tell when he got out, though, he wished it had. It was.

>> Darin: I'm sure he was covered in.

>> Mike: Oh, yes, he was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was amazing.

>> Darin: Oh. There's no recovery after that. We're gonna go. I hope to see you next week on Irritable Dads Syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mike Odel, Darren Cox production.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable.

>> Mike: I need.

>> Darin: I'm so excited.

>> Mike: Let me come up a level you could give me. You come up. Meet in the middle. Meet in the middle.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: You. You'll bring it.

>> Darin: I'll bring it down. You bring it up.

>> Mike: Meet me in the middle. Okay.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: Yeah, I'm Mike. That up enough for you?

>> Darin: Okay, so you. So you overcorrected, and I think I got.

>> Mike: I'm gonna. I'm kind of up to where you started.

>> Darin: Okay. Okay.

>> Mike: I can get there.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: I can get there. This is the dumbest episode we've ever done so far. Yeah. If you delete.

>> Darin: You know what?

>> Mike: All of me.

>> Darin: I think the Valentine's day was news you can use. Yeah, yeah, I do.

>> Mike: I'm riffing. I'm. I'm zinging them.

>> Darin: Some work, some don't. The thing that we talked about in the kitchen. We can't talk about that on the podcast.

>> Mike: No, no.

>> Darin: Boy, if you kids could listen to the conversations that Mike and I have before we have the conversations that become this podcast, we'd probably have more of.

>> Mike: You listening if we did that.

>> Darin: You know what?

>> Mike: Maybe you're good at conversating. Yeah.

>> Darin: You're just not good at recording the conversation. La Galleria.

>> Darin: I don't know what Cranberries had to do with anything. Sorry. So why am I apologizing?

>> Mike: Worst show we've ever done, I think.

>> Darin: Well, I told you we need to stop saying that.

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah. This is the best show.

>> Darin: This is good.

>> Mike: I. I haven't really. We haven't done a show as good as this in a long time.

>> Darin: No, no, we haven't.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I think the people who are listening to this particular episode. You guys are so lucky to be with us tonight.


We interrupt this podcast for Mike's dog to lose sound

Thank you for listening to us on the Dancer. And there's more. There's more.

>> Mike: Right now, we're where that came from.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And,

>> Mike: just. Yeah, just let it. Just let it happen. Just let it. Hold on.

>> Darin: We interrupt this podcast for Mike's dog to lose sound.

>> Mike: Like when R2D2 got swallowed by that thing.