IDS #247 - Hello, I'm Hal Gozit

I had a really good topic and I was going to remember it

>> Mike: I had a really, really, really good topic and I was going to text it to you so that I wouldn't forget.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I thought, no, I'll remember this. And it's gone.

>> Darin: Gone.

>> Mike: It was insightful.

>> Mike: With a touch of humor. Which is. If you ask anybody about this podcast, what they love about it is how insightful it is. You guys are insightful. And then you have a touch, a smidge, a dash of humor.

>> Darin: Just enough.

>> Mike: I. I don't know what happened. It's gone.

>> Darin: What happened?

>> Mike: It was really good though. If I'd remembered it, you guys would be blown away.

>> Darin: I want to mention this.

>> Mike: This is the first time Latvia has won an Oscar. Isn't that cool?

>> Darin: Ball's in your court, Estonia.


This is episode 247 of Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast

>> Dave: Time now for another episode of Irritable Dad Syndrome, the number one podcast for agoraphobics. Please give it up for your hosts, Mike and Darren.

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Darren.

>> Mike: I'm Mike.

>> Darin: Welcome to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast. This is episode 247. This is a special episode. I am in studio A. Mike is in studio B. We're recording remotely and we're not going to tell you why. So you can leave that up to yourself to guess.

>> Mike: Yeah. And the interesting thing is most times that we do this, this is episode 247. Like Darren mentioned, every other episode we've at least had a discussion. Hey, let's talk about what we're going to talk about. We did not do that this time. We spent the entire half hour past half hour trying to get this audio to work.

>> Darin: Is this work? Check. Is that work? Is this good? Yeah, check.

>> Mike: That was our, last half hour.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It's just, it's amazing.

>> Darin: Good times.

>> Mike: Yeah. If you. And you hear much more of our personality when you hear things like that. It's all on Patreon. It's a, wonderful place to visit.

>> Darin: So much fun.

>> Mike: All the abuse that we give to each other. See if you're given to me. Yeah. If you're listening to us now on the regular podcast, you're hearing the curated version. Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: Long time friends.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Brotherhood, really.

>> Mike: The therapy is over. The fights, the family than we are friends. That kind of stuff. Yeah, it's all gone. And you're getting the candy coated version of Mike and Darren. But if you want the real.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: If you want the real meat off.

>> Darin: Of the bone and potatoes, get.

>> Mike: On there in the Patreon and Irritable Dance Syndrome.

>> Darin: M dot com. Do it today. Yeah. How you Doing Mike.

>> Mike: I'm m. I'm okay. like, I. I'm. I tell you what, I'm trying to lose weight, and we just ordered this fake, candy, and it came in.

>> Darin: Hold on. Fake candy?

>> Mike: I've been excited. It's this all natural, like, like, no sugar candy. It has, like, a little bit of sugar, but just enough. You know, it doesn't matter. It might as well not have any. It's, It's. It's a knockoff of M&M's.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: We got the regular version and then we got the peanut. And so it's, it's the candy coating is mostly like, protein. And then it has, like, they use natural pigments, like beetle ass or whatever. They. Wherever they got pigments. Yeah. None of this, you know, red 40s. All that from Columbia. So they, you know, on the, on the little ad, they looked great, but when you're holding them in your hand, M. It's like, you know, like when you're. When your grandma would give you M M's, you know, out of the bottom of her purse that had been there since 1832. There's like, dust and lint dust in, like, a. A mouse turd.

>> Darin: There's always, like, a little bit of cotton from where she had been knitting something.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But the key is, to the candy.

>> Mike: The key is the texture. The texture is very similar to M&M's. And then you bite it and you realize that the chocolate is dark chocolate. There's little cocoa ness in there, but not enough. Ah, but it's enough to just barely fool your brain. You notice that with, like, diet foods, it resembles what it's supposed to be, but. But just enough to where if you lie to yourself enough, you can feel like you've accomplished something.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: but then I told Bess I'm starting to. I feel a little sick now. And I think it's those damn fake M M's. I don't know. I don't know what's in, them.

>> Darin: If it has artificial sweeteners in it. I'm sorry, but the artificial sweeteners always taste whack to me.


Did you get rid of all the Peeps? No, I haven't

>> Mike: I don't think it's artificial. I think it just doesn't. It doesn't have enough. I need concentrated sugar, fat.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And salt if you have it.

>> Darin: Carbs, salt, carb fat. And again, sugar, please.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And more of it. and bacon. Yeah.

>> Mike: Oh, no.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So when I bought these, I was on a tear. I was on a health tear. I was like, I'm gonna Order the biggest box of this I can get. So now there's a whole lot of this stuff up there.

>> Darin: So you're going to be giving it out on Halloween.

>> Mike: It's in the peep cupboard. If you were here, I'd show it to you. It's in the peep cupboard.

>> Darin: Did you get rid of all the Peeps?

>> Mike: No, I haven't. I. I'm waiting for my next. Everyone's going to peep tear. and I feel coming on.

>> Darin: Did you buy any more Peeps? Because me, and Chris Calloway both told you about all the ones that were on sale within a two mile radius.

>> Mike: I was at Walgreens and I stood in front of the Dr. Pepper peeps long enough to where Charlie said or what are you doing, dad? And we had to move on. And then I, I went to the Interwebs today. You can buy Peeps off the Interwebs. I think everyone knows that.

>> Darin: Off the black market of the.

>> Mike: And they have cinnamon churro Peeps.

>> Darin: Oh, those sound amazing.

>> Mike: Yep. And I'm pretty sure I saw Rice Krispies Peeps.

>> Darin: Now I told you about the Rice Krispie Treat Peeps.

>> Mike: Yeah, yeah, yeah, those were on there.

>> Darin: Those look pretty good too because Rice Krispies, I think that's a natural flavor for it. Because when you make Rice Krispies you.

>> Mike: Make use of me.

>> Darin: When you make Rust Krispie treats, you make it with marshmallow.

>> Mike: Right.

>> Darin: So of course, duh. why haven't we done this before?

>> Mike: And most people don't know this, but Peeps are effectively marshmallows.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: It's not angel fluff, which is what I thought it was just manna, from heaven with sugar.

>> Darin: They haven't made s'more flavored Peeps.

>> Mike: Oh, they have them.

>> Darin: They have them.

>> Mike: Yeah, they have. They have Peeps with their ass dipped in chocolate. Have you seen those?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: yeah, no, they're at Walgreens right now. The next, when you go to Walgreens.

>> Darin: With their ass dipped in chocolate, they're.

>> Mike: The bottom, their nether regions and their ass. Just chocolate.

>> Darin: Well, the nether region and the ass is the same part.

>> Mike: Well their feet, whatever, wherever their feet would be, all that the whole bottom is, is just dipped in chocolate. Hello. It honestly looks like somebody at the peep factory was carrying Peeps over the chocolate vat and dropped them in. And then some genius said, no, we can sell those.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And there they are.

>> Darin: Don't know. Don't throw those out.

>> Mike: Don't throw those Out.

>> Darin: Just slap a name on it.

>> Mike: Just put a name on it and.

>> Darin: We'Ll go mud covered Peeps.

>> Mike: Mud peeps.

>> Darin: Mud Peeps is yummy.


Cincinnati comedian talks about Superman reboot and Gene Hackman's death

>> Dave: This portion of our show is brought to you by Airwolf. Watch Stringfellow Hawk and his buddy Dominic Santini solve big time problems by blowing up in their space age turbo helicopter. It's fun for the whole family. Airwolf now streaming on the Roku Channel.

>> Darin: I know this is Cincinnati's comedy podcast, but I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the greatness and the sadness that came along with the death of Gene Hackman. and you and I were just like last week, wasn't it? We've talked about how great the movie Hoosiers is.

>> Mike: yes. If you put your effort and concentration.

>> Darin: Into playing to your potential to be the best that you can be.

>> Mike: I don't care what the scoreboard says at the end of the game. In my book, we're going to be winners.

>> Darin: We were just talking about that. I think it was a day or two after that we found out Charlie's.

>> Mike: Basketball team, one of the places where he played games. And I can't remember the name of the school, but it looks exactly like the Hoosiers gym. And I know that because Bess and I said, this looks really familiar. And I looked it up on the interwebs and held the picture next to where we actually were. It looks like, with, like with the windows with the light coming in.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And I was just expecting Gene Hackman to walk in with Dennis Hopper behind him staggering around with the flask.

>> Darin: Well, they made that movie somewhere in Indiana.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: So, I mean, I don't know where Charlie had his game.

>> Mike: No, no, this is, this was in. This is around. This is within 10 miles of us here.

>> Darin: Okay, then that wasn't.

>> Mike: Yeah, no, it wasn't the same place, but it looked like it. And. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I. I've been thinking unconnected, wise for about a month now. I have never seen the French Connection, and I think I should see the French Connection a long time ago.

>> Darin: And, when I was in college, I was in a film class, a film appreciation class.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: And so we would watch a movie every week. And I took the class twice. And one year it was dark comedies. That was a good year to take the class, but, the year before, I can't remember the theme, but French Connection was one of the ones that we saw. And about the only thing I remember was the car scene, but I'm ready to watch it again. I'm ready to watch Unforgiven again.

>> Darin: I'm ready to watch the bird cage again, and I want to watch the bird cage and Unforgiven back to back. Why? Because I, can't imagine any better way to demonstrate the range that Gene Hackman had than with, like, the most despicable, evil, vile, crooked, nasty sheriff. And then you go to him in the bird cage dressing up like Betty White. Spoiler alert. He's got to get out of that. The Flamingo Club, whatever it's called. Because, I mean, I remember, like, it was yesterday watching the birdcage at the theater going, oh, my God, Gene Hackman is in drag. And I never would have pictured it. I never would have thought so.

>> Mike: But so down, hands down, the best superhero movie villain of all time for me is Gene Hackman. Lex Luthor. Lex Luthor, possibly you've heard the name.

>> Darin: The greatest, criminal mind on Earth, Lex Luthor. Yeah.

>> Mike: And I was. I. A little piece of me was excited about the Superman reboot. I was thinking, man, it would be really cool if Gene Hackman made a cameo in it, you know?

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: But I know it's. That's, like, obviously now it's not going to happen, but.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: It would have been way, way left.

>> Darin: I was about to say they could, I'm sure they could reach out to the Hackman family and use his. I mean, hopefully they don't AI him in there. They have to have footage still from back in the day, and they might be able to use that or whatever. He had been passed away for, like, 10 days, I think. I just want to say this is what, you know, my mom and I do. Every morning, I get a text from my mom. She sends a text to me and a bunch of friends, and she started doing this a few years ago. She and a friend of hers, who are right around the same age, started texting each other every morning. It's like, hey, if you don't get a text or. Or a call from me, you know, check on me. Right? And so they've been doing that, and they still do that, and we do that. And if, you know, in the morning, if I don't get a text from Mom, I give her a call, and it's usually like, oh, I'm getting ready to send the text now. Okay, Mom, I love you. Then just making sure. And. And clearly, nobody. I don't think anybody was doing that because, I mean, he. They had been dead, like, 10 days, I think, so Set up a. With your parents. I don't care how old they are. Call them, text them every day. If you don't live in the same area, check on them daily. That's some good advice. So, hey.


Me and the kids have just started watching Breaking Bad. And they're having a good time

>> Mike: Me and the kids have just started watching Breaking Bad. Charlie. Charlie came down in episode three.

>> Darin: Okay. He missed episode two.

>> Mike: Yeah. Good. Yeah. So long term listeners, friends affectionately know.

>> Darin: Is the bathtub scene.

>> Mike: Yeah, long, term listeners know that, I have watched Breaking Bad from beginning to end. I think at least four, maybe five times at this point.

>> Darin: That many times?

>> Mike: Yeah. One of those was with director commentary. So I've listened to all, you know, in the barrel. I've listened to all the director commentary.

>> Darin: I have the barrel, but I haven't had time to get to it on the barrel yet.

>> Mike: If you get to the barrel in the commentary, let people know where you are and what you're doing and set up a system where you would text someone every 24 hours in case you pass away while doing this. Because, you talk about rabbit holes. It's fun because in the beginning when that show started, it wasn't as big of a hit it ended up becoming. No, I mean, they didn't even do commentary, but like, for like half of the episodes in the first season. And they're mostly. It's not that they sound bored. It's just like, yeah, this happened and this happened. And then as the show gained popularity, they started bringing in more and more of the cast. The ones with, Bryan Cranston.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Are not only hilarious.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: He's got a lot of insight. And you just see how much they go into. They spent so much time with the colors of the scene. They were getting arguments of, like, what color? you know, what's her name? Is it Marie? Is that. Is that Skyler's sister?

>> Darin: Yeah, Marie. She wore purple.

>> Mike: Always wearing purple. And like, they were. They were getting arguments of how much purple can this woman have?

>> Darin: All the purple.

>> Mike: Yeah, all the purple was the answer. but it's. It's so much fun watching this show now with Charlie, and Andrew because they have no idea what's coming. They both love Hank. I didn't, I didn't expect that. I, Because I didn't. I. Hank annoyed me the first time I watched it. But I, I love Hank now, but they, every time Hank comes on, just get big grins.

>> Darin: It's a mineral.

>> Mike: So we're having a good time.

>> Darin: Hank was a badass. Yeah. And what's, you know, we're going to go Back on the Greetings from the Idiot box with Allison Lips.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: We're going to discuss Breaking Bad.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And Better Call Saul and the, El Camino movie. And I'm really hoping one. I hope she still lets us come back on the show.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: but I know that we're going to have a better experience talking about that show. I don't know. Breaking Bad is like the perfect show.

>> Mike: You know, it's like many times Breaking Bad than we do Airwolf. We definitely know more about Breaking Bad than Airwolf.

>> Darin: That's true. But no, it's like, I look back, the only episode of Breaking Bad that I think you could skip over is the Fly, where they're like, that episode. I mean, I liked it too. I liked every episode. I did. I. I genuinely. I loved every episode. I don't remember watch one going, it's kind of dull this week.

>> Mike: I will. I will agree with you. I will agree with you that on a re. Watch, you could probably skip that one. But I think it's critical your first time through because.


As a veteran, it's interesting that every time you see Walt's descent

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: As a veteran, four or five times through, it's interesting that every time you can see Walt's descent into a, Spoiler descent into his, you know, what he ends up becoming. And he has these moments where he tries to get. His life is out of control and he tries to gain control over something. Like when he's.

>> Darin: He's.

>> Mike: Yeah. The hot water heater and trying to fix the wood under his house. And then it's the fly, and it's, you know, the whole episode. It's kind of beating it over your head. If you've ever had one class anywhere about any type of art appreciation, it's, you know, it's. It's screaming, it's not about the fly. It's not the fly. The fly is not important.

>> Darin: That's right.

>> Mike: And you get that.

>> Darin: His obsession with the fly.

>> Mike: Yeah. But, yeah, so it's fun going back through.


We don't talk about Breaking Bad on Greetings from the Idiot Box

So the episode that we're watching tonight, when. When you and I wrap this up, Andrew should be home from the gym. We're at the episode where he shaves his head and visits Tuco and throws the mercury fulminate and blows the side of the building. Oh, yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah. I've got to start watching it over again.

>> Mike: I'm just.

>> Darin: I've just got.

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: Although I don't know where I'm gonna this time.

>> Mike: Is not meth. Whammo.

>> Darin: Whammo. Yes.

>> Mike: Science.

>> Darin: And I can't Wait to go on Greetings from the Idiot Box and talk more about it with Alison Lips.

>> Mike: Yeah. If there's one thing that our listeners are annoyed with is that we don't talk about Breaking Bad. Enough.

>> Darin: Enough. Yeah.


Scooter: Breaking Bad is the best show I've ever seen

>> Dave: We now return to Breaking Bad.

>> Mike: You will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone you know?

>> Darin: I will recommend Breaking Bad to everyone I know.

>> Mike: Breaking Bad is the best show you've ever seen, except maybe the Wire. Breaking Bad is the best show I've ever seen, except maybe the Wire. You will never stop talking about Breaking Bad or the Wire.

>> Darin: I will never stop talking about Breaking.

>> Mike: Bad or the Wire. We constantly get letters. Talk more about Breaking Bad.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And are you guys ever going to talk about Marvel?

>> Darin: Hey, guys, why don't you throw in something different like U2 or Letterman sometime?

>> Mike: We have mentioned you, too, and I have been about 50 episodes.

>> Darin: It's been a while.

>> Mike: Yeah, it has. And we're not going to.

>> Darin: Yeah, they. They haven't done anything.

>> Mike: Yeah, no, nothing of note.

>> Dave: You're listening to Irritable Dad Syndrome, Cincinnati's comedy podcast.

>> Mike: It ain't got no gas in it.

>> Darin: You see there? Scooter thinks of the simplest things first. Did you watch Conan O'Brien at the Oscars?

>> Mike: No, I haven't. I haven't.

>> Darin: You would have loved this. I thought of you as soon as he did it. The most Conan O'Brien thing he did was he said, sitting in with the band all night, is the sand worm from Dune 2 playing harp. They had some guy in, like, a giant. It looked more like a sock.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Playing the harp. And I'm like. I was like. And m. You could tell it was that look because you don't get that look from Conan on his podcast anymore.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And you would get that look on Late night. And even when he did the Tonight show when he would introduce Masturbating Bear or Hooked Up Werewolf or Pimp M Bot, you know, but he says, here it is, the Sandworm from Dune playing the harp. And the look Simon on his face like, yes, I just did that on the Oscars. And he just looked like. Yep, that's what you guys signed up for.

>> Mike: I did see the, Jimmy Kimmel quote that Conan did such a great job hosting the Oscars that next year they're going to let Jay Leno host it.

>> Darin: They're going to give it back to Little. As always, the. I'm going to say something controversial here, Mike. Okay, okay. Just hold on.

>> Mike: I got the sensor button ready.

>> Darin: Okay. Well, I'm not going to use any language Foreign film.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Documentary, documentary short, and animated short. All of those categories, they need to give them out at the Governor's Ball. They have a Governor's Ball every year where they give the lifetime achievement award and they give other special honorary Oscars. Okay. These four categories, outside of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and Parasite, I have not seen a film that was nominated in the foreign film category. And I go to the movies a lot. I used to go to the movies way more than I do. And, I'm a fan of the Oscars. I've been watching them every year for 30 some years. Okay. My God, it just drags and drags and drags. And I appreciate the talent that goes into the people who make these documentaries. I love documentaries. And the shorts and. And that's all. And there's talent out the wazoo. Yes.


There was one year where I recognized the animated shorts

Ain't nobody seeing these pictures. Seriously. Animated short. Every now and then, something that's nominated for animated short. Oh, that's the one that came on before, Inside out, too.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. There was one year where. There was one year where I recognized the. The animated shorts, and it was because it was when both kids were at that age where we were seeing every animated movie.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: That was. Even thought about that year, if it was animated, we were in there watching it. And that was the one year when I saw clips from the Oscars. I was like, oh, I know every single one of those little shorts. I know all of them. And I had an opinion on which one should win.

>> Darin: I did, too.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: But anymore, I. I think they should just keep. Set those categories aside, continue giving people Oscars for it. Yeah, but. And then it's like, you know, I feel bad for the people who win, and they have 20 seconds to thank people, and then they get played off. But then they'll give five minutes to a, tribute to James Bond. You're going to dedicate all this time to a song and dance for James Bond? And this guy won an Oscar. It's a highlight of his life. And you're shutting him up after 20 seconds.

>> Mike: Yeah. Who was the actor? I saw all these memes about this actor that took forever on the speech, and I didn't.

>> Darin: Oh, Adrian Brody.

>> Mike: How long did he take?

>> Darin: Seven minutes. No, I don't know how long. He was up there for a while. They started to play him off. He's like that.

>> Mike: That.

>> Darin: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Cut that out. I've been here before, okay? Yeah, yeah, I've got something to say. And then, like. Okay. And then he talks and talks, talked and talked and talked. And he had decent things to say. It kills me they'll dedicate so much time to. They had a tribute to, to Quincy Jones, which is, you know, have a tribute to Quincy Jones. But then they had the big song and dance, and Queen Latifah's out there doing these on down the road, and it was good. but I mean, it's like these people are winning, and you're not giving them the time they deserve. Oh, Bernard Hill from King Theoden.

>> Mike: He.

>> Darin: They left him out of the Immemorium section.

>> Mike: Spears shall be shaken, shield shall be splintered, A sore day, a red day, and the sun rises.

>> Darin: Outrage like. Come on, man. You're cutting Bernard Hill out of the memoriam. I don't know. That's my nerd Oscar talk.


What is your favorite moment from Irritable Dad Syndrome

>> Dave: What is your favorite moment from Irritable Dad Syndrome? Tell us now at our Facebook page or leave us a message at our website. Irritable dad syndrome.com youm've met my mom, right?

>> Mike: I have. Yes, I have.

>> Darin: Wonderful woman. Oh, Mom's great. Mom's awesome. She's very sweet. Mom was talking smack the other day.

>> Mike: Okay. Did you put her down?

>> Darin: No. She was talking smack to me.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: No. Good Lord. I wouldn't dare.

>> Mike: Okay.

>> Darin: I wouldn't dare.

>> Mike: Would you do what you do to deserve being talked to like that?

>> Darin: Playing phase 10. I don't know if you've ever played the card game phase 10, but mom and I love playing phase 10. And we made the mistake of teaching Jacob how to play phase 10. And now it's almost impossible to beat Jacob in phase 10. And it's got to the point where we don't like playing cards with Jacob, especially phase 10. Jacob comes down. Hey, deal me in. We're like, oh, God. Fine. So we were playing phase 10, and I have won the past three times.

>> Mike: Okay?

>> Darin: The last time, I won handily. Did I brag? No. So the last time we played, mom is playing me and Jacob, and it came down to the last phase. Jacob was ahead. Okay. We both passed him. Okay. And then we're both on. All we have to do. One of us has to get phase 10 and go out, and then the other person. Guaranteed loss, Right? Mom and I both got phase 10. Jacob was still on phase nine, and you're like, I daren. I have no idea what you're talking about.

>> Mike: I have no idea what you're talking, but whatever.

>> Darin: So we passed up Jacob, and then I got phase 10, and then mom got phase 10.

>> Mike: Okay? Okay.

>> Darin: And then whoever goes out, whatever. We went out and mom thought she lost. I went up and added up all the points. Turns out mom won. she beat both of us. And so I've got this notebook, sheet of paper, and I was tearing the sheet off and I said, mom, do you want to take this home and put it on your refrigerator? And she goes, no, I'm going to put it on your refrigerator.

>> Mike: Oh, yeah. My question is, what the hell? That's, that's burn.

>> Darin: Yeah, thanks, Mom. And then the next day. Are you going to talk about that on your podcast? I need about 350.

>> Mike: For the past, I think five years, we've had basketball games every weekend. Like every weekend, day. I'm exaggerating. So Sunday, yesterday there was. Or whatever. What is today? Tuesday. Sunday there was.

>> Darin: Today is Tuesday.

>> Mike: There was no game all day long. but the day.

>> Darin: That's a callback to.

>> Mike: I literally woke up on Sunday, had nothing to do all day, and then went to bed. I actually went to bed early. I went to bed like two hours early.

>> Darin: Wow.

>> Mike: Because, I mean, it's. I wasn't bored. I was just done with the day. Yeah, you've just been done with the day. It's like, yeah, it could be like 8 or 8:30 and you're like, I'm good.

>> Darin: There's nothing else to accomplish.

>> Mike: Nothing to accomplish.

>> Darin: No. I love it. Yeah. I go to bed some nights before the kids do. I'm like, I can't do it anymore.

>> Mike: The glory of going to bed that early is that no one and nothing is in the bed. No people and no animals.

>> Darin: Right.


You let your dogs sleep in your king size bed, right

>> Mike: Are in the bed.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: So we have a, we have a king size bed. Right. You wouldn't know it because everybody only gets about 2ft of space because we have these two animals.

>> Darin: because you let the dogs in the bed.

>> Mike: Yeah, the dogs in there. I go to bed. The bed's completely clear. Because I'm going to bed at like 8 o'clock and it's wonderful. I got my legs all over the place. I don't care. I know this starfish. This is my bed in my house. I'm going to lay like. I'm going to be like Patrick from spongebob in this bed. I don't care. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end. And then I wake up with my knees hanging off the bed, a dog's ass against the small of my back, another dog against my feet, slowly shoving me off the bed. and then I go, I go urinate as one does pants. Yeah. And I. Yes, only once. And then I try to move the dog's back and I get and I quote from the dog.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: At like 2 in the morning.

>> Darin: Conrad tried that once and I picked him up and I put him on the floor. I said, yeah, no, my bed. I paid for the bed. I pay the mortgage on the house. You live in this house rent free?

>> Mike: Yeah. But I think, okay. So then I'm about to ask Bess if she can move over so the dogs have more room. And I realized that Bess is not in the bed. It's just these two dogs. And you've seen the dogs?

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: Booba and Marbles.

>> Darin: And one. Yeah, one of the dogs hates me yet.

>> Mike: They're small dogs and this is a king sized bed.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And they're shoving me off the bed.

>> Darin: Yeah. I don't think so.

>> Mike: That goes nowhere and as no end.


Gerald Ford: Dubai Chocolate. Have you seen this Dubai Chocolate? No. I was just wondering if you'd seen it

Oh, I do have something I want to talk about. Have you seen this Dubai Chocolate?

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: It's pissing me off.

>> Darin: Dubai Chocolate.

>> Mike: Dubai Chocolate.

>> Darin: Chocolate from Dubai, the country.

>> Mike: Yes. It's these huge chocolate bars. And you, when you break them and open it, it's got. It looks like grass. It's like this dough. Uh-huh. And they use, pistachio cream with it. It looks like lawn clippings from your lawnmower.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah. But then if you hungry, if you talk about it, it shows up in your phone now when you go to TikTok, now we're talking about it when you go to TikTok, because I heard you say out loud, dubai Chocolate, like three or four times. So now your phone knows you're interested in it. If you go to TikTok or Instagram.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: You're gonna start to see Tiktoks of these Dubai morons.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like, just like a Karen in her living room breaking open this grass in front of the camera and then like biting it and acting like it's the most wonderful thing of all time.

>> Darin: Have you had it?

>> Mike: No. They're like $40. That's the whole point. I think it's like, they're $40. And then there's one that says it's. It's the. Not the non Dubai Dubai Chocolate, by this company that just makes them in America. They're $70. And I don't see the point of it. I don't like pistachio. I don't know what this grassy dough stuff is. And the other, the chocolate, I don't I don't get it. I don't get it. I was. I was just wondering if you'd seen it.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: Or if it's just I've gone down some weird algorithm where it's all over the place. Now I can't get away from it.

>> Darin: Well, great. Now you've looped me into it.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Yeah, thanks.

>> Mike: But I'm interested in your reaction, because for the. For about a month, they were popping up on my phone, and I thought it was a troll. I thought I was watching, like, people who want to, like. Like, auditioning for Jackass. Like, I'm eat this chocolate bar with grass clippings in it and I'm going to get famous. But no, it's an actual thing that you buy. Yeah.

>> Darin: I will look out for it.

>> Mike: Yeah. Again, another thing that goes. No.

>> Darin: Nowhere.

>> Mike: Absolutely.

>> Darin: I used to do commercial production. I used to do local commercial production when I worked at the NBC affiliate here in Cincinnati, Ohio. And one of the jobs that I had, we would be shooting a commercial with local talent. Like if we were going to a Ford dealership, and the guy at the Ford dealership was going to be, hi, I'm Gerald Ford. Hi. Hi, I'm Gerald Ford. And right now you can get this for 229amonth. And. And with no down payment and no interest.

>> Mike: You know, I'm losing my shirt on this deal.

>> Darin: Exactly. Our prices are insane. So. What? Don't touch my hat.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: No.

>> Mike: What?

>> Darin: One of the things I would do was I would coach these people because sometimes they would need to say something a little more excited, or sometimes they would, they would bleed their words together, and I'd say, I want you to. And put a little space, enunciate in between each word. Okay. And then sometimes if they would, stammer, we would stop, say, we're going to do that one more time, and just slow it down a little bit. Whatever. So I would coach these people, and it was one of my favorite things to do. Okay. So whenever I hear people talking, people doing a voiceover or whatever in commercials, it's ingrained in my mind. I'm like, I wonder what the, If they had any better takes of that line or this line or. Or whatever. We went on a college tour. Cameron went on a college tour over the. Over the weekend. And the lady, she was as nice as she could possibly be, but she was an up talker. And that when you're an up talker, every sentence you end on an up note. So we're going to go to this building. And once we go to this building, we're going to see a lot of the projects that these, the students are doing.


Every sentence ends on a down note, Cameron says

And I think you're gonna be really impressed.

>> Mike: sorry, Cameron, you're not going to this school. We're leaving.

>> Darin: It was. Yeah, I just wanted to stop her and say, can you end on a down note? Can you end any of your sentences on a down note? Because when I would. When we would, you know, coach these people doing their commercials, they would say, you know, and. And you can do this by going to our website. They're like, let's say no, you can do this by going to our website.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And you don't say Irritable Dad Syndrome.com@irritabledadsyndrome.com. right. And if they would say Irritable Dad Syndrome.com, i'd say, no. Irritable dad Syndrome.com.

>> Dave: Irritable dad Syndrome dot com.

>> Darin: I was losing my mind. I just wanted to take her by both hands and say every. Every sentence ends on a high note.

>> Mike: Yeah, and.

>> Darin: You're killing me.

>> Mike: You're damn killing me. You're killing me, Alice.

>> Darin: You killing me.

>> Mike: Have you seen the, It's a video. you know, I think his name is Ron Livingston. The guy that played Peter in Office Space.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: You know, I'm talking about. There's a. He was in a show or something where he's ordering a coffee, and she's like, would you like a large coffee? And he's like, I'd like coffee, yeah. You don't talk like that.

>> Darin: You don't really talk like that, do you?

>> Mike: It's an affectation. That thing.

>> Darin: Yes.

>> Mike: I used to work with a lady that did that all the time, and it drove me crazy because I had to literally interact with her. And I would be like, spoiler, I'm an engineer. So I'd be asking, you know, what's the. The third number on this page? I think it's a 5. It's a 5. It's a five. You don't. You know, Because I would hear. Talk to, like, other people, you know, like, if she were on the phone and she would sound normal, but then randomly she would be like, you know, are you. Are you going to get the samples over that? Yeah, I'm going to get the samples. I'm going to go get them. Okay. And I'm like, what?

>> Darin: Are you okay?

>> Mike: Why are you doing that?

>> Darin: Why?

>> Mike: It's not. It's like you're running out of batteries. Made me keep thinking you Need. I need to plug her in somewhere and she's just running down.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: And bring it back up. So I think every time that pops up in my feed, I think of that interaction. I love that.

>> Darin: I love that. Because, like, you can't possibly talk like that.

>> Mike: No. Yeah, that's. It's not how you talk. It's an affectation.

>> Darin: Yeah, yeah.

>> Mike: And then she gets mad and she's like. He's like, yes, that Talk like that and leaves.


Nick Offerman famously turned down being a guest on this podcast

>> Darin: I mentioned the Oscars. Nick Offerman was the voiceover guy. He was the announcer on the Oscars, who, as as many people who are loyal to this podcast know, famously turned down being a guest on this podcast.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: Yeah, I was like, the nerve. Like, like, he's. Seriously, he's bigger than Irritable dad syndrome. Okay.

>> Mike: Yeah, all right, whatever.

>> Darin: Nick Offerman. Emmy Award winner, Nick Offerman.

>> Mike: After I've had too much whiskey, I cook myself a large flank steak, pan fried and salted butter. I eat that, put on a pair of wet socks and go to sleep.

>> Darin: If he's listening, he's never going to come back on this podcast. Or come. Come on the podcast on the podcast. Because he was so boring.

>> Mike: I could see him, like, popping up in square video and he's like, okay, I' here.

>> Darin: Please welcome nominees Eddie Murphy and Sean Aston. I'm like, you know, please welcome nominees Eddie Murphy and Sean Aston. You know, whatever. Yeah, I just wanted to get in that audio booth and go, nick, Nick.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: I need you to put a little excitement. This is the, this is the Academy Awards, you know, and, it's.

>> Mike: It's interesting after the break, not, not everybody can do voiceovers and character work.


There's a famous, uh, game. I don't know if people still play it

There's a famous, game. I don't know, it's not famous anymore. I don't know if people still play it, but it was, it was called Destiny and it came out at the same. Destiny, you know, Destiny.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: It originally came out at the same time that Game of Thrones was at its peak on hbo. So they got Tyrion. What's the actor's name that plays Tyrion?

>> Darin: Peter Dinklage.

>> Mike: They got Peter Dinklage to voice. you have a little AI buddy that's with you. and I'm doing this because it.

>> Darin: Floats around because he's your AI buddy.

>> Mike: And they got Peter Dinklage to voice it because Game of Thrones was so popular and it was. I mean, love the guy, but not a good job.

>> Darin: right.

>> Mike: Objectively, people, throughout the industry, it was so bad that they went back and they removed him entirely from the game and replaced him with another video game voice actor. So I actually have the disc of the original Destiny. I can install that and hear the original Peter Dinklage. But instead of updates or patches, he's gone. They erased him from video game history.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Like, wow. But, yeah, it's. He's great the show, but when you put him on a voiceover thing, it doesn't.

>> Darin: It's in Los Angeles. They could have got Shadow Stevens to do it. Yeah, Shadow would have killed it.

>> Dave: Nothing tastes better at a cookout than a. Ah. Whompers all beef footlong hot dog.

>> Darin: And I love Nick Offerman. I love everything about Nick Offerman. But he sounded like he was ready to go to bed at any moment.

>> Mike: He may have been.

>> Darin: Maybe.


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Hal: I'm an extrovert. As an introvert, I go through

Now back to the show.

>> Darin: There's a thing we used to do on this podcast called Just Stop. Oh, and, we've got another episode of Just Stop right now.

>> Mike: Oh, Lord.

>> Darin: I was out and about. I was in public. I was with, the peeps. With, strangers. I do not know who this guy is. I've never met him before in my life. I'm walking past him, and he looks at me. He goes, how goes it? And I was like, it's, it's fine. I didn't even want to answer him because I think asking how goes it? Is stupid. What are you, Yoda? How goes it?

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: How you doing?

>> Mike: Yeah. Yeah.

>> Darin: How goes it?

>> Mike: How goes it?

>> Darin: Do people still say how goes it?

>> Mike: Yeah. You don't think he thought your first name was Hal and your last name was Gozit, do you?

>> Darin: Hi, I'm Hal.

>> Mike: Goes, and I'm pleased to meet you.

>> Darin: You know, this same event that I was at, I met a guy named Darren. He spells his name D A, R, R, I N. He was speaking, doing his thing, talking about stuff. And another, other interesting topics. After he was done, he went over and he was, sitting with his wife. And I told Libby, I'll be right back. I'll be, I'll be right back. She goes, okay. So I went and. And I found him. And I like, hi, I'm. I'm also named Darren. And he's like, oh, he didn't care.

>> Mike: Yeah. I said.

>> Darin: And I, I said, I. I'm wanting to know, like, have you ever been called Derek or Daryl Damon, Dwayne Damian? He's like, no, no, I have it. And I'm like, dan Darfin Darwin nothing. He goes, nope. I was like, well, I told him the Darfin story. And he's like, okay, yeah, all right, well, I'll talk to you later. Didn't care. No, not at all.

>> Mike: Probably really close to calling the police at that point.

>> Darin: I was just like, there's one of me. And then, you know, he did say, I asked him, you know, if, Because he was in his 50s, so certainly he's had people, you know, call him Derwood, like from Bewitch. And he goes, you know, I did get that when I was younger. I was like, okay, okay, okay.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: All right.

>> Mike: See, the cool thing, about you is you're.

>> Darin: Hey, Darren, how goes it?

>> Mike: You're an extrovert. You just throw stupid out all the time and just see if it hits.

>> Darin: And I'm not hardcore extrovert.

>> Mike: No, but most of the time it does. But then you have to deal with those situations where it doesn't. And you have to. There's a little bit of, Well, whereas an introvert, which is how I began life, is I go through.

>> Darin: As an introvert.

>> Mike: I go through. Every once in a while. Every once in a while I have an amazing conversation. But most of the time I'm leaving the party saying, I didn't talk to anybody. I could have talked to that person. I could. That person. That person. I, ah, think in general, have, no point. Damn, I think that candy really screwed me up tonight. I'm sorry.

>> Darin: It's, it's affecting your brain.

>> Mike: Something wrong?

>> Darin: Stop eating the Dubai chocolates.

>> Mike: Ah.

>> Darin: Is that the Dubai chocolates that you're eating or the generic M M's?

>> Mike: No, it's the. Yeah, it's the generic M. And M's.

>> Darin: What's the brand name on those?


A bag full of dips. No, no, I didn't say dips. Dips. Dips. M and M

M and M? Is it seriously Dips?

>> Mike: They're called dips.

>> Darin: Dips.

>> Mike: Dip. Dips.

>> Darin: Dips.

>> Mike: Dips. Not dips.

>> Darin: No, no, I didn't say dips.

>> Mike: Dips. Okay, A bag full of dips. Drips. Or it might be drips. Dips and. Or drippy.

>> Darin: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Drippy. Call your pharmacist. Put some.

>> Mike: A case of the drippies.

>> Darin: Wear a condom.

>> Mike: I'm trying to see what the hell they're called. No, they're not drips. I don't know what the hell they are. They're upstairs in a, cupboard, though, and we don't know what to do with them. Might use them as to start a fire when we're camping.


Irritable dad syndrome has new way to piss off people on the Internet

>> Darin: Well, I've decided I've found a new way to piss off people on the Internet and I'm going to.

>> Mike: I'm sorry. They're called points. I don't know where I got drips from. Points.

>> Darin: That has nothing. Yeah, yeah. How did you get points out of drips?

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: Okay. They're called points.

>> Mike: They're called points.

>> Darin: Who's going to want to eat that?

>> Mike: I don't know.

>> Darin: Hey, hey, save some points for me.

>> Mike: I've been having some gastrointestinal issues. I think they're gonna give me the drips before the night's over. That's why I'm thinking that's the name.

>> Dave: If you love coffee and podcast, then, boy, do we have an offer for you. Go to our website right now and order yourself a handsome Irritable dad syndrome coffee mug. You'll be the envy of all those losers at your office. That's right. Get yours now at Irritable dad syndrome dot com.


How do you like your steak? Medium rare. It annoys me when people say it's raw

>> Darin: How do you like your steak?

>> Mike: Medium rare.

>> Darin: Okay. So would it piss you off if I had looked at your medium rare steak and said, oh, my God, that's raw?

>> Mike: It annoy me. But because, okay.

>> Darin: Because, my God, there is so much outrage over. Every time I see a steak video, somebody preparing a steak on the Tick Tock or Google or YouTube or something, they cut into it and half the people go. And M have people go, oh, my God, that's. It's raw.

>> Mike: Yeah. Right? Yeah.

>> Darin: And then if you really want to infuriate people, you go in there and you say, I like mine well done.

>> Mike: Yeah, that's not acceptable.

>> Darin: It just pisses people off.

>> Mike: It does.

>> Darin: And I don't understand the outrage because.

>> Mike: It'S the wrong way to eat steak.

>> Darin: Okay. I'm going to tell you something right now. You're a friend of mine. I care about you very deeply. Libby and I had our 23rd anniversary dinner. We went to jags.

>> Mike: Congratulations, by the way.

>> Darin: Thank you. Thank you very much. 23 great years. Hopefully we'll have way 23 plus more ahead of us. Yeah, we went to Jag Steakhouse.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: And, we both ordered the steak.

>> Mike: Huh?

>> Darin: Sirloin steak, right?

>> Mike: Uh-huh.

>> Darin: Libby got hers well done. Jesus. I asked for mine to be well done.

>> Mike: Oh, my God.

>> Darin: And the waitress, we were like, prepared. We were totally prepared for her to scoff, right? And she goes, okay, fantastic. We'll have that right out.

>> Mike: Yeah. See, they train them.

>> Darin: I am telling you, this steak was. It was cooked all the way through, Mike.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: And it was juicy.

>> Mike: No, juicy.

>> Darin: It was juicy.

>> Mike: Glass of water's juicy.

>> Darin: You cut into it and it was a juicy steak. And it wasn't burned. It wasn't tough. It was a beautiful, very well made, well done steak.

>> Mike: Yes.

>> Darin: And, and, and I can't stand it when people like, well, if you like your steak well done, you must like it burnt. Like, hey, no, it's not burned. It wasn't burnt at all. And it was so good. And I could not eat it. Fast time.

>> Mike: I mean, I'm glad. See, this is what people need to understand. There's a lot of steak snobs out there, of which I am one. And yes, you need people to like well done steaks.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Because anytime you're cooking up, let's say we were in a tribe, okay. We're cooking up the food for everybody. You're getting the best steaks here, and then you have a piece that just falls into the fire and everybody forgets about food in a tribe. You know, we're out the wilderness, people can starve. You need somebody that's going to want that piece of charcoal down there in the pits. That's, you say go get drawn.

>> Darin: There you go. No, to the extreme again.

>> Mike: It's a super.

>> Darin: I like my steak well done. I don't like it charcoaled.

>> Mike: Yeah, I get it. Yeah, I get it.

>> Darin: I like it well done. Yeah. But my God, there was one steak I saw online. The dude clearly put, it on the grill for like 10 seconds on one side, 10 seconds on the other.

>> Mike: Yeah.

>> Darin: Got it out. I'm like, you're gonna die. You are going to die. Because a good vet can get that back on its feet in like an hour.

>> Mike: See, beef is different because it's most of the stuff is on the outside. That's why they sear the outside. The inside you can keep relatively uncooked. When I make steaks here, I get the center to. I think it's 125.


Black Jeopardy winner will receive well done steaks

>> Darin: I love my well done steaks and I love. Don't. Don't bring me a medium rare burger. No. God, please, no.

>> Mike: No, there. Those are good too. Burgers a little bit different because it's all ground up in there. So you got to be careful with burgers. I don't screw around with those. I usually, if I go somewhere like, fancy and I'm like, well, clearly they know what they're doing. then. And I don't get that upset. But if we're here and it's pink on the inside, I get a little skittish. I don't know why I put all that. It's kind of like the Seinfeld thing of you get into a taxicab and the dude's driving like a maniac. You're like, well, he's a professional. This is what he does.

>> Darin: He clearly knows what he's doing.

>> Mike: When you, when you look at a menu in every restaurant, I love how at the bottom they say, don't consume undercooked, foods. They can call it whatever. And I want to say, well, then don't undercook my food. Can you?

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: Unless you're going to let me back there with a stopwatch and a thermometer, I'm relying on you guys to do this.

>> Darin: There was that episode of Black Jeopardy. On Saturday Night Live.

>> Mike: Today's Black Jeopardy winner will receive well done steaks. If I see a speck of red, it's going back. You better cook my food with well done steaks.

>> Darin: I do love well done steaks.


We want to thank you for listening to Irritable dad syndrome

>> Mike: Is it time to wrap this thing up?

>> Darin: It is time to wrap this thing up. We want to thank you for listening. We hope you go to irritable dad syndrome.com and that's where you can listen to every episode that we have and tell your friends about it. Share the word. help us out. We're trying to get this comedy, goodness all across the planet.

>> Mike: I'd also like to thank our sponsors. Let me see, I have a list of them here. Oh, none. None. It's a blank list. You all need to share this around and get us out there.

>> Darin: Thank you for listening. We hope to see you next week on Irritable dad syndrome.

>> Dave: Irritable dad syndrome is a Mark Goodson Bill Todman production.

>> Darin: Did you remember what you were gonna.

>> Mike: Say, no, I don't. It was really good. It was, I don't remember what it was. I'll remember for next week. I'm looking at the Timer. We're at 55 minutes. We're good. This is all bonus now. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably the. One of the best things I've said definitely since episode 200. Hey, I'm Mike.

>> Darin: I'm Darren.

>> Mike: That's a terrible start.

>> Darin: Okay.

>> Mike: If I've said it once, I've said it up, times. I don't need an extended warranty. So go ahead.

>> Darin: Go ahead.

>> Mike: No, no, go ahead. I was going to say now. That does it for the show.

>> Darin: All right.

>> Mike: Yeah. Terrible show.

>> Darin: Yeah, I know. At the same. No, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.

>> Mike: This is weird because usually we're, like, going up the stairs and you got boo by attacking you.

>> Darin: Yeah.

>> Mike: Now this is just like, go.

>> Darin: Has his nose in my ass.

>> Mike: Nose.

>> Darin: Got her claws all over my chest. Normally you pay a lot for that in New York City.

>> Mike: And normally I'd make you eat one of these drippy points. Oh, God.

>> Darin: Drippy points.

>> Mike: I bought 30 of these.

>> Darin: You've got to start buying small amounts.

>> Mike: It's one of those. Like, if you buy. If you buy one, you're still recording.

>> Darin: God, I hope you're still recording.

>> Mike: I am. If you buy, like, one or two of them, it's like $50. If you buy a crate of 60, it's $52. It's like. It's just a value proposition.

>> Darin: Right.

>> Mike: So now I got a whole stack.

>> Darin: Of these things, but you're buying more of something that you don't want.

>> Mike: I can grow to like it. I think it's giving me the Drippies, though, because I've been. I've been,

>> Darin: Okay, I don't need to know. Recording stopped.