IDS #49 - You Don't Screw with Lasagna

00:00:00  You're listening to the Irritable Dad Syndrome Network, our next episode begins. In five four, three, two, one.

00:00:26  Welcome to irritable dead syndrome. Finally something for people to look forward to when a Tuesday, your your host Mike and Darren you are listening to the irritable dad syndrome and I we are a very, very, very excited that you're here with the number one show in this basement. That's right. Now, we are in our 49th of the episodes away from the season finale, season finale for 4 months, and it's coming on, and I haven't done anyting, not a damn thing. I have not done one thing to prepare for this season. In there, this big Kaboom, this big shebang they were going to close out with, you know, what would be awesome if we just ate another episode 51? And then we called the next episode 53 and then people for years was wondering where episode 52 is the Traveling Wilburys did that they had the Traveling Wilburys volume one,

00:01:26  And then the next album was volume 3. Where was volume do? It's not really knew now but a different Monster flavor. It's Apple. Yeah, I hope you're in the Monster drink market and you thought I don't want to Lime Monster drink. The green is not lying. The green is a very very nice apple. Apple and you would think it's a granny smith apple which is a complete waste of a fruit. Yes. It's like a sweet that's like a red. Delicious / Honeycrisp apple taste and it's got its got a room all about it. I don't know what else is weird. I just made in apples.

00:02:13  It's wonderful nectar. Yes, he ever have the honeysuckle things. You know, nothing about you pull the stem through and he'll drop of something? No. Okay. There are abundant in redneck areas that I came from, the honeysuckle Honeysuckle Rose Buster's at the end gate, the gate master and the key keeper made the gatekeeper and the keymaster make

00:02:46  Enter a motion with the really big guy so I think you should let him go. Okay. You know, is that what those dogs were to in the car?

00:02:54  What happened? I don't know what happened. This may be our last episode for the past, 30 episodes. Damn show. Well today right now is my anniversary, 19th anniversary wedding, a 19th wedding anniversary. Now 19 is a very special number. Okay, why you Stephen King fans? Okay, 19 is prominent throughout the Dark Tower series. 19 is special in that is one less than 20 which is a very divisible number. It has a lot of factors that to buy 10 prime. Number is a prime. OK yeah it is a prime number is 1 more than 18. You can vote at 18 1/2, a year later. Your night, took your favorite song was Paul Hardcastle 19 from the 80s, right? Yeah. Look it up, okay. Okay. Every

00:03:52  Every year that I thought was awesome began with 19.

00:04:00  Every house has been opened but there wasn't a very few bad years in the 19 1985 or 86, I forgot which one you had Top Gun. What year did 1984 come out by Van Halen that was in nineteen eighty-three. You had 5150. When he came out in the 90s, something I need you to act tune or October depending on your dialect baby came out in 1991. November the weekend, both happy that you did and impressed. If you judge me, I'm glad that you're finally listening music. That's over 30 years old, I think that's wonderful. Actually, it's exactly 30 years old. I'm going to look through all your albums and find out all this to your listing to the took 40 years old. There's a lot of the first Black Sabbath albums in their the only one in there that I haven't played cuz I'm scared of it and know I'm a Black Sabbath.

00:05:00  I like to watch Batman. The album is particularly, how's your wedding anniversary going? Wonderful. I'm spending it in the basement. Told you go off the rails and I never have a point haha. No, and I rely on you to reel me in on the point is going wonderful. We're going to celebrate this coming weekend. That's the plan because we knew this week was shot. We got this damn thing tonight. And for the record when Lydia and I had our wedding anniversary, it was also on the same night that we did a podcast. So it shows how much we care a lot about our wives, it shows how much you care about the podcast. This show is destroying two families at 1 at the same time. But here's the thing, 19 years ago, this woman decided to accept being married to me. So at that time, I had hair. Yeah, I was slim. I was muscular you funny. I was funny.

00:06:00  when we originally met the the very first thing that she said to me was and I'll you look like Tom Cruise

00:06:08  You mentioned that before and everybody laughs? When I say that, show me a picture of me back in the day and I don't look exactly like Tom Cruise, but I'm in the cruise genre but not anymore. You've known me and mine on cruise years. Yes, you've known me in my Goose years after he had that fatal and washed up on a beach bloated and bald. I always knew that when I hit my forties, everything will go downhill genetically. And I've been fighting it ever since. And I've I've kind of gotten this weird. This weird thing I'm where I will stay in shape during the day and then just destroyed all at night. So she's bought into that. You stay in shape during the day. Yeah, but it night if I could have it, so I don't have to stay in shape like several days in a row, right? For the matter and see if several hours in a row.

00:07:09  If I could have a moon shape right now. But here's the thing that, you know, what, really bothers me yours is all these documentaries and movies about concussions and Lasting brain damage. Right? Before I learned about that, I wanted to pay someone to randomly come up behind me at around 7:38 at night and knock me out. So that I would wake up at 6 in the morning and I'd be fine. I have over eaten, I wouldn't have had a green monster drink. Haha. When you leave I'll probably pop some ultimate butter popcorn and I'll shut that down my face. I'll follow up with some Lay's Flamin. Pickle chips. Flaming pickle chips, dill pickle chips. Okay.

00:07:50  Good hunting in chase that, with some chunky monkey. And that's that puts me in a food coma. And I wake up slobbering, usually with the dog laying on me and look at stuff off your favorite, what the hell happened? And the alarms going reality sets in, you got to go to that place. And then what do you have for breakfast breakfast again tonight? I had not eat breakfast for about 6 months. Do you not eat breakfast? I guess I started doing it in and it's, it's I do on the weekends, but I'm during the week. I just, I don't like you now. I'm sorry, I'm a nice guy. I'm easy to work with. I'm easy to get along with. I'm easy to talk to if I don't have breakfast. I'm a monster. I have to have breakfast. Absolutely. Some of their mornings, where I like, should I eat breakfast before I get in the shower? I just, I have a friend who used to eat breakfast in the shower, he would do the cereal in the lower part of the reason why I'm half,

00:08:50  I'm eating breakfast again is cuz I just came off vacation. Because how do I say this delicately? I don't like to eat breakfast in the morning cuz I don't want to put one in the chamber.

00:09:05  Cuz I don't know when I'm going to be able to, I can't stop in the middle of meeting. Excuse me. I need to go. You can go pee, I'm trying to train myself to 5 minutes or less and I can't. It's that's my Candy Crush time.

00:09:20  Search anniversary is going wonderful. We're going to celebrate this coming weekend. It's going to be great. I think there's a restaurant that she wants to go to that. I think sounds awesome. Your honor. If I could have the stenographer, go over. The question was, how was your anniversary going? 15 minutes later, you don't eat breakfast because you don't want to put one in the chamber. It's Russian Roulette addicted, to Starbucks Coffee recently. I've been drinking coffee here is a lower will yet. Cuz you want to send one of your kids to college to lower Circle. Play both of them, I have. Yeah, but Starbucks

00:10:03  That gets the pumps are rolling, doesn't know and you put some oatmeal in front of that train.

00:10:09  Get up. I have never not one time. Had coffee from Starbucks. Really. Never! I you should try it. I bet your first. One will knock you back at how strong it is. It is extremely strong. Is Dave ladylike Duncan you like Dunkin Donuts coffee at Dunkin and I'm about the floor with you. The perfect coffee. I like Dunkin Donuts coffee at Starbucks and it tasted like a mixture of monkeys, sweat and gasoline.

00:10:44  But over time you get a taste for it, then it's like, that's all you want. That's how they get you. But now, I didn't have it for a week. I've came a downgraded back. I'm drinking coffee. He had the Dunkin Donuts, Keurig. The K-Cups coffee in a sneeze anniversary is going wonderful.

00:11:14  This portion of irritable dad syndrome is brought to you by zipper. Lube are you tired of wasting hours of your precious time fussing around trying to open and close sticky? Zippers. Well, have a seat. Tony, I have a product for you. Just rub, some zipper Lube across that annoying zipper and you were problems will magically disappear, easy up, Easy Down, Easy all around zipper Lube available wherever quality zipper related products are sold now. Back to you, Mike and Derrick.

00:11:52  Hey guys, you need to kill the music and get back to the podcast. Thanks, I need to, I need to do a, shout out to some people that I meant. I want you to stop. I go back to like episodes 42 or 43. Listen to a few of those, and then come back, welcome back, welcome back. So I had an interesting thing happened. Haha. So we have merch merchandise, swag, s w, but we have that. So I have a shirt that has you need to learn more words on the front and then that's in room., on the back. And I like to wear it too crowded places because I want to see

00:12:40  Checking downloads, like a like it. What's that called? Like a madman. Like a madman, like a freak, like a body from the town that I'm in. At, that point starts downloading. I see that on my shirt and they don't know cuz I would, if I saw somebody walking around with that, I do like the hell is that for the Diamondback? Oh, you're at Kings Island, Kings Island reline, for the Diamondback, I cannot be in the line at the time. It back without thinking of your story is a costume that man bumped into him. So and I apologize. I'm in the middle of, don't make this into something that it's not thinking about that story and I guess I can't help it every time. I like, how do you accidentally bump into somebody that many times? And then somebody bumped into me the back, it's a kid.

00:13:40  No it happened like 5 or 6 and him know it started laughing to myself internally and then I felt something touch my neck like a finger and I turned back around and it's it's them in there. They're gaggle of friends and there they start laughing. I like what? And then one of us like okay what is that? Like it's a podcast.

00:14:11  It's an awesome podcast cuz I remember the last time I was asked, what your what your shirt is, or what your hat is. Yeah, I just laughed and walked away and the best like, why didn't you tell them what it is? Like, I'm going to take that advice as that's podcast to Austin, Austin podcast. And then the other kids said, or you in it. I'm like, yeah, I am in it and they start another thing. I had to turn back around went on their phone and went to irritable down there by the internet, they had to look at the shirt to spell irritable, not a common word.

00:14:45  And I and then I said that are you, which one are you? A mic is like, it would, say, you're opening. Say your line. So this is Mike and it over and I can hear the last, our last episode on the thing. It was the one who's like, your you said this is Darren.

00:15:08  And I just said that. So then they, they were like they wanted shout out. So I'm going to give her a shout out on himself embarrassed. He's edging away from me. He's turned. And they said, is this your kid? And I'm like, oh my God, and they're laughing, and I'm laughing. So I want to give a shot. Shout out to three people who will never hear this. Okay, cuz this is you know, Charlie. Yep. Corbel

00:15:44  And been three people three of the five, the group of the other two did not want to be identified. Because you were telling about this, absolutely, no context at all. You sent me a text you and it said the t-shirts going. Well, it got some downloads. Now, that's why I think they were making fun of me. Cuz I still think they were making fun of me. This is on the same day that you had. Posted your T-shirt of Destro on Facebook and on the Instagram. And on another lady I was getting I was going to an eye appointment and I Lady one of that big that you have somebody to check like your what are your eyes and then the lady

00:16:32  The optician vs. Optometrist, if you see the triage nurse make in the room, you have to look at the picture of the house and the wiggly things, the lady that pushed the puff of air in your eye and all that. Okay. She says, I've got to ask you what is that on your shirt and under my breath, on my couch,

00:17:03  What is a history cuz she's about my age? And I'm like, it's not I'm not, I don't know where like you. I can't make her. Guess I can't be like, no. Out, like I do with you. It's in its Destro and I point to when I don't have it on, I like how you point. Destro, I point out and then I'll have to wait to the Cobra, cuz that's what I posted. And one of my friends on there, said, how could you not know that's desperate, they got the Cobra Insignia right next to it. Haha,

00:17:30  Just in a lot of people don't know who that is. I know that I know you posted the picture Destro and then you won't stop going on and on and on and on on our social media about Destro, I think you text me this, t-shirts getting getting us downloads, not that you're double Dead Center T-Shirt and so I'm like I had this weird thing. I just assumed you can see me where I know I but I do that on the podcast too. I'll call you guys cuz I asked him like how did these kids see your T-shirt? Okay, Boomer in the Poconos. That how are they listening to you on the phone? They listen to the podcast on the phone. I don't know how did these kids see the desk tour shirt and then where did they see you?

00:18:30  What? I'm trying to say, Mike, you're not making any sense. I don't give you enough information and follow the story. Didn't give me any information, only corbella, corbella, corbella, corbella, sounds like a brand of Delicious Heights for. I ran into a fat bald guy that had a picture of his podcast, on the back of the Google. Give you a shout out of you like I'm Octavius or something. That would not give him my real name to gascony questions about me. Not, of course, you rolled on the floor laughing. I know, Darren, they did not ask about you. My wife had a doctor appointment this morning and she had a optometrist. Now, my wife had to have a medical procedure this morning. Everything's fine. Everything's totally fine, but she needed somebody to drive her there and then drive her home.

00:19:30  I'm the guy anyway, I take her to the place. I have to wait in the waiting room. That's why they called the waiting room for you. When I tell you to give you. So like Ocean's 11, they're having her procedure done. And I'm out there. I'm playing my Candy Crush. I fall asleep in my head hits the wall. Oh my god, really. Are you that guy? I'm freezing to death and there's a woman and she's actually knitting. She's making an Afghan right and I wanted that Afghans so bad and I was just getting ready to say how much for the Afghan when this other guy says, hey, how much do the Afghan like? Are you kidding me? He stole my joke before. I could even get it out with an Afghan Whigs.

00:20:18  I went in there and and the nurse looks Miss uses.

00:20:25  You've been in this office before, haven't you? I said, I guess I have she was I knew I remembered you. And I, and I said, okay. And I said, I guess. I was just the model, patient, wasn't I? She says, I remembered your name and then she thought you were getting fresh with her. I would have killed you to play along.

00:20:49  But I do like that to hear it.

00:20:52  That's awkward. Starting off on the wrong foot. Grandpa falls asleep, playing Candy Crush in the, in the room and takes off, ticks off the lady, something amazing happened at work, this is never happened before. I've I've mentioned this before, I work at a TV station, I make commercials for a living, I got an email today that said dear Darren Darin they spelled my name correctly and they said we're going to put you in touch with the general manager of this car dealership and then you can call him and schedule the time and everything come out. This guy's name is Darren Darrin. They spelled my name correctly and they spelled his name correctly. Now, they were sweating bullets when they were right in there.

00:21:42  They're like, oh my God, this is, this is what I've I've trained for my whole life, very rarely in my life. Have I had another Darren in the room with me or in the general vicinity and I used to work with one up and ate and he spelled his name the same way. Darine will walk down the hall. So I can't believe, I haven't asked you this before, all this crap, about your name, hard to spell, and I didn't say. And I've done it myself and my kids, and now you have a degree. You, what you graduated from school, gave you a degree and a bachelor's in The Bachelor science. So, you graduated screwed up noodle. So I thought, yeah, that's the most common really. And I, I thought I'll hear they go and I had mentioned it to somebody and somebody in my graduating group class.

00:22:41  I said that they have Linguistics Majors reading the names and I don't know if that was BS or not, exactly as I was going up. I was grinning and smiling pictures and because they said my name, right? I was so happy. I don't even think you said it right at my high school in my elementary school. Yeah, I have one of my high school annuals. There's a picture of me as one of my maybe was in. I was in choir but anyway, they have my name is Darren Fox your stage name? If you were like back in the 80s,

00:23:26  Whatever the hell?

00:23:29  So but yeah. Nobody ever could spell it, but I was just really impressed that they did that today and I don't know that I mentioned this, but a couple of weeks ago, I was nominated for another Emmy Award. Yeah. Me and Christina and Cary and Pete my boss. Our team has been nominated for an Emmy award. They were now that Christina was nominated for seven, holy crap. I was not made for one. Hey thanks. I've never been nominated at, all, right? And the award ceremony is going to be virtual this year.

00:24:04  So I get the email that said to go to this site and type in your name, how you want it sad and spelled and everything like that. And I was so close. So close to putting darphin on there. An Emmy Award with darphin on it, it'll be my little, my little thing, and, and Libby talk me out of it.

00:24:26  Play Blacklist you in the industry for the rest of your life, to me like that guys. And I would they know that my name is not Darth Vader. People would know that other people on your thing was brought you by Whoppers Alba football and hot dogs by everybody. It's your best friend. Dave people often ask me, Dave, do you really enjoy Whoppers all beef footlong hot dogs? And I say you're damn, right. I do Whoppers are made from 100% pure beef with no fillers and no preservatives. They're packed full of flavor and perfect for parties. Get a ruler and measure yourself. If you were a hotdog, is it a foot long? They'll refund your money, guaranteed. So, what are you waiting for? Get a pack of Whoppers. All beef. Footlong hot dogs today. Available wherever quality meat products or so. Now, back to the show,

00:25:16  I want to complain about ice cream.

00:25:19  How can you complain about ice cream? I'm not going to complain about my ice cream. Delicious. So, especially I get a good box of core Bell, ice cream. So, I went a little bit of background Carvel. Ice Cream is little bit of background. So as Sister, Laura is married to Jimboy's. Jim is, it was like three times the start of the week. Yeah, he's kind of known as is Jim happy. He's happy, he's always happy is always grinning. He's always smiling. He's always in a good mood. He's laid-back like the most laid-back, human being you ever meet. He's always having a good time, okay, Laura, she's like the, you know, of the doctor. This is bad for, you shouldn't do that, you shouldn't do this gym. Meanwhile, I'm sitting over there like he's got like a tub of ice cream and he's just eating it with a spoon by himself and asking me, you know,

00:26:19  Whatever. Let's have a beer and ice cream. Got beer and ice cream. So we noticed that is jazz, Andrew. And Charlie are growing up. We would go to their house. See we never really kept soda from our kids, but we didn't promote it. You know. I was always like you want to water? You want juice? You want milk. He knows I'd like to have the same thing. I got to the point where they just didn't seem to really have a taste for it. They never really cared now, dad drinks diet soda, but they think that that's disgusting. Or they did not just Coke, just regular Coke regular. Drink it. You're up all night teeth, rotting out Coke, okay? And then she thought it was funny that she is the crazy at, that's letting them do whatever they want and drink the Coke and I'm like, why is it? You you're like, Captain hell and you're giving our kids coat now, that when everything that comes like,

00:27:19  Give me a cigarette when the next time you come. Can I buy it in real quick back last week or two weeks ago? We went to my friend Larry's house and they were having a thing, they had Mexican Coke bottle with the Regular Show. Jim, and Laura went crazy over the Mexico for Broadband cases of everywhere to Larry's house. If you, if you remember back to a previous episode, I talked about the salad dressing from hell she made the salad dressing. She was always feeding people salad. I made this dressing that was made from like, goat intestines and tolerate, her broccoli testicles. I don't know what the hell it was, it was. I'm sure you're a nice. First listen to she listens to the podcast.

00:28:19  Leave. No like you don't screw with lasagna everything, eat you, but you take a bite of something you like to do you like that is like you all right. It's, I don't know, it's goat cheese and rapper, you know, it it's it helps you because it make sure one leg grow faster than the other and a better when you run on your back, just would stop. If you're running in circles, you need that mean Wild on the couch, new flavor ice cream over here. You want to try that, you know? So it's like I'm, you know, we're doing whatever Jim's doing, you know. So I want those too.

00:28:52  That, that what are you called? A dynamic dynamic in your head. When I go to the next story of the two of them, I always expected that. Well, meet with me. Rephrase that love the two of them. The one, I least suspected would ruin ice cream for me, would be Jim, but he did have an Inception. You seen the movie Inception idea, the dream inside the dream inside the track a year or two ago and it hit me while I was eating mint. Chocolate chip ice cream with best yesterday. What he said was I I forget what it was, what I was eating at their house and I said, this is really good ice cream and he said, you know and he always has facts about things. He said, you know, if you really want to know, if you like ice cream or a certain brand of ice cream get their vanilla,

00:29:44  If you like that haha you like every other flavor the dad because every ice cream is vanilla with something added to it to give it the flavor and I was like, huh. And it's one of those things that kind of knobs that you you wake up in the middle. I like butter pecan but I just like vanilla ice cream that has butter pecan flavor and then I go to Chocolate that's just vanilla ice cream with chocolate and it is not at me and it started making the ice creams that I like banana ice cream. I pictured. This magical thing, I didn't think Ben & Jerry's, took vanilla ice cream and turned it into banana ice cream. Just kind of slowly ruined ice cream. Okay, what can I want? He's wrong.

00:30:27  I don't think that he is well, researched. He doesn't have ice cream from a hole in the wall.

00:30:35  Vanilla ice cream is made from vanilla beans. Yeah, yeah. Okay, truck. What ice cream is made from cocoa beans or the Coco flavor to it. You going to just follow. Listen to Jimboy's every time he tells you right about everything else. Okay? And he lets me eat as much ice cream is. I want to when I go to their house, okay, I killed a whole box of Lucky Charms of one day at their house okay that doesn't make him. Write somebody I'll follow Jimboy's runs for president I would even though he stayed up ice cream for you. It's just it's it's added something in my head if it's something I wish I could remove he might like you know at least they'd like don't do the look at certain things, don't surf the dark web, you'll see something. You could I forget it and I wasn't like that. Frank something I want removed. Whatever Google takes over and the world in a make everybody and does Cyber zombies.

00:31:35  I can go in and take that knowledge out of my head and make my life. Better. Strawberry ice cream is not vanilla ice cream with strawberry flavor. It strawberry. How do you know? Because I know he was just because we have three ingredients on the side of the Box. You have a good, you buy your box of Korbel ice cream and right there on the box. It says it.

00:31:58  I want to look this up. Okay, look it up and look it up while Mike. Looks it up. Darren's going to move on to our next topic.

00:32:07  Chocolate ice cream sandwiches real quick. When you think of an ice cream sandwich? Yes. As a kid, what? What is an ice cream sandwich? It's a rectangle. It's white with the brown. Cookie cookie cookie. And when you eat it, it sticks to your fingers. Exactly. And it sticks to the rap. Have you had an ice cream sandwich in the past few years. Yeah, they're hard. They've made him hard. They made the cookie hard. What kind of ice cream sandwiches? Are you buying Kroger surfboard ice cream sandwiches surfboard? That's what the Penguins riding ice cream sandwiches down are freaking play. Sure it's called surfboards. Who got a box, show, you the box. When we go up, there, you make more money than I do. So we buy the Cost Cutter, the white box. Black Print ice cream sandwiches.

00:33:06  They're hard. Okay. And that ice cream sandwiches if we buy at Kroger real hard. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God, you're buying the wrong. That makes me feel better. Cuz I told Beth says, like, you know, you know, I guess I thought I had to load up the rifle and get the scope. I got mad scientist, I got mad at science because you remember mr. Nastos, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. He created a new cereal, varnish that kept the crunchy and milk, and I knew all these damn cereal. They're always like God, stays crunchy in milk stays crunchy, doesn't get soggy. So, you know, and so I thought, well, they've been trying to research this and somebody finally came up with, I found it boss. We can keep the cookie from being soft on Ice Cream Sandwich. We can keep it cookie. Crunch ice cream, yes, will do that. When you surfboard ice cream sandwiches and they ruined it and it made me is like, you know what, use your science or something.

00:34:06  Good, not for Ice Cream Sandwich, I screwed up my ice cream sandwiches, Here's a thought. He thought that I thought that about six or seven months ago I brought them home. You have like ice cream slightly melts when you get home though even though we're live right down from the Kroger, I left went out for a little bit. Didn't do it. You know what? I had to hard cookies okay, with a bunch of cream cheese in the middle.

00:34:39  It ruins it. What are the klondike's? Those are crispy. What would you do for a Klondike? Bar ice cream to Klondike. Ice cream sandwiches to the first ones that I ever had. That were crunchy. And then I thought, well, I'll get the cheaper ones. I'll get this, the pimp England's, slide him into the surfing down there for the amount of the iceberg Ice Berg. And I thought they've all gone this way. Now Klondike, the clown original Klondike Bar, would you just a wonderful little square of vanilla? Ice cream, dimmed into chocolate. And then, put in the foil, I had a real problem with that. I feel like I need one of those sobriety badges cuz I haven't had one of those. I have not had one and then 12 months, I think I got. I had a real, I was about two or three nights now rough. There's the Klondike Bars. Have you ever had the Klondike with like the to get to like the dicks in it.

00:35:39  Then we go see my grandparents and Anna, and Bill would always load up on the other crunchy, the extra crunchy. I would eat it like a normal human being and how's that? You don't do anything like and I would unwrapping and I would bite into it and I would eat it now. As opposed to how I get a dove bar, soap borrow, I had a real problem with that. Is you get one of those? You unwrap it. And I would eat the chocolate from around the ice cream. First, eat all of it off until I'm left with nothing but a perfectly shaped. Vanilla ice cream, teardrop thing on a stick and then I would eat that buy and sell and Beth would watch me while I was doing that. And every time it never failed. She while she was eating her see that, you're weird and she's been married you for 19 years. See me do this. You saw me do that with the first Dunbar? I used to do a Snicker. I'd still do it with three musketeers every once while I go on a bender, have a three musketeers. Haha, I eat the outside chocolate. All the way down.

00:36:39  Like basically up a brown sponge.

00:36:43  And that I eat that and sometimes I pretend like I'm eating couch fluff.

00:36:48  A weird guy, do the same thing. I get them in my mouth, I get the candy and the and the chocolate off. Get the nut by itself for four, or five of them, and then eat the nut. Who hurt you. What happened to you is a child Reese's Pieces. I get all the Reese's peanut butter cups with those. That do you eat the outside and then you eat dancer? Well, those are the ones they can eat those all in one by all their commercial commercial with the pleats has two holes in the middle of different. That's the one I just said, you know what, when I'm going for a Reese's cup, a dime like on the side of the road, with a needle in my arm, I'm just eating that. It's lucky. I usually just one goes all the way in and half of it. Sticks, a roof of my mouth and it's slowly slide that the next

00:37:48  Now here's a present for all our listeners. This is the main reason that I went outside when I was a kid, there was a pool near us and they when you bought a candy bar from them they got it out of a freezer.

00:38:05  That basically breaking kids teeth, you know, but they add Snickers bars. The Big King Size. Snickers bars in a freezer. You couldn't bite into it, but once you got it to the point where you could one that was not frozen enough to where it would break your teeth but not to the point where was still like a regular it holds in like labor whole, all the Snickers ice cream bar, it's like that. But it's the full effect of fevers when my mom makes homemade fudge and she send some home for Christmas. I keep in the freezer, here's a fun. Fact, kids and I learn this in school, the cold or something, is the less you can taste it, which is why they serve a lot of a crappy beers cold. I'm going to disagree with you, on that side. Answer to me, you can disagree all you want. Why does why does ice cold water taste better than warm water?

00:39:01  You can't cuz you're not tasting it. You're not taking you to use goes, okay? That's the reason I scold. Okay. Go drink a lukewarm Bud Light and then ice cold Bud Light. You'll like the ice-cold one better. You can really taste all the in it and it's for me then by that rationale then you should melt ice cream before you eat it. No no, no, no, no, no, no. The coldness is part of the thing. I've eaten ice cream before. Well, after I'm full, just because I like having that the coldness coming, but it is true. The cold or something. Is the less you can taste. It doesn't mean, you can't taste it at all, but you can't get yourself a bowl of ice cream from High Falls. Get one of cold ice cream.

00:39:45  Eat it and they let one melt and come back and drink that soup. Haha, here in a taste. That more than you did the ice cream yet. When it was called okay, what you'll enjoy it. Far less you're a freak but it's helpful, if you ever have to act like kids, if you ever did and I don't want to give kids advice on taking medicine, but if you ever have did that crap, did they make you take when you have to go to take certain procedures? I have to go do one here soon. Is the cold as you can get it sold less, you'll taste it. And you have to drink and you don't want to drink it cuz it's nasty. Get that get it as cold as you can.

00:40:31  I wanted to ask you a serious question and we don't get political on the show. All know, I don't want to get political but I the best but I've got to ask this question cuz in Ohio, where we do this podcast. Yeah. We live north of Cincinnati at Kroger and enter Kroger. If you were fully vaccinated, you don't need to wear a mask in their store. A lot of places are doing a lot of places are doing it now, I'm impressed because I still see people wearing a mask. Now, these are two types of people there, either,

00:41:11  People are like I'm still afraid of catching the coronavirus and I'm going to wear it to protect myself or they're the people who have not been vaccinated. Okay, there's also that group of people out there who haven't been vaccinated said screw it. How is anybody going to know? I'm not going to wear my mask, right? So there's there's many factors in this, okay? I'm in Kroger the other day and there's a guy wearing his mask with his nose, and almost his upper lip hanging out of his mask. Now, we discuss this on the podcast before the Lord.

00:41:50  There's no point. The only way wearing a mask is effective is if you cover your nose and your mouth. So why is this guy wearing a mask with his nose hanging out? Still?

00:42:03  Dude, you don't need just, just take it off or show, people don't care anymore.

00:42:12  And for protection, you're not, you're protecting yourself from people thinking that you can think that. Okay, if that answer I mean there's a occasions where my mass started to slip down and I would make sure to catch it before it went blow my nose, not because I was terrified of anything because I didn't want to walk around with my nose hanging out. I have a sizable nose for one thing. Still think that's the other piece of it. Is that it just, you know, it's nothing. I just want to go visit dude, just take it off, take it off, helping anybody at all, and we're past that now.

00:43:00  This portion of irritable dead syndrome is brought to you by Otis elevators. Hi, this is your announcer, Dave, Lay and if there's one word that describes me, it's brand-loyal, I've been riding Otis elevators. All my life and if I'm ever in a building, that doesn't have a notice, I say screw it. I'm taking the stairs. There's nothing like the feel the smell in the comfort of an Otis Elevator.

00:43:24  Okay, so I have to Kroger anecdotes stories. I have two in one week.

00:43:32  I go and this is Bored to ask the questions. I have a question. I want to ask you at the end of the story. I go I have a bunch of stuff I like to stop there after work or before I get home.

00:43:44  So, I have a bunch of stuff in the same time.

00:43:49  I like to go after work.

00:43:52  Typically don't want to be in there for a long time.

00:43:56  I don't want to be here. I told him where is look for a friend, that's a call back to last week's and there's a lie. Now, I'm in trouble because there's a lady sitting in front of the card reader and she's got a handful of papers. You shouldn't have a handful of papers when you're checking out from Kroger unless those papers are Dar money. I have to change right now. These are coupons and they're having a disagreement over which what a coupon is. So she's having the guy look up each coupon coupon. He does not appear to be now he's being very professional to see the cashier. He does not seem entirely happy to have to be looking all the puppies being very professional, he's doing and he's being very polite but I maybe I'm projecting, I'm putting myself in his place. I would be annoyed, okay, and there's another cashier. You know how they like to switch shifts and there a Kroger in the middle of saying,

00:44:56  Something else sucks. A Changing of the Guard. Exactly. They always say they will say. Did you find everything? Okay, if you get if you get there rather change the first one to say, did you find and they'll stop in the next will come and everything. Everything? Okay, good God, I mean, they are rigid on that. So she's back there telling him what he needs to type in to get the coupon. I've got ice cream. I've got chunky monkey and I have those damn penguin sliding down the Glacier Ice Berg. And I'm excited because they have Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches. And I got some of those for the kids cuz Andrew, is got me to spin Neapolitan thing. That's what we got me thinking about it before. I was thought it was a sidebar call back. I was always amazed that Neapolitan. Ice cream maze has a kid. Wow, they got strawberry chocolate and vanilla in here and then as an adult I got jaded hahaha that. They probably made one of those really well and they just half-assed together.

00:45:56  But then after gym, voices, comment, I'm like, it's all they sell them though. I just put the strawberry Inn over here, and they put this chocolate flavored over there. I digress when I worked at the grocery store, I used to work in the dairy, frozen food apartment. Yeah. And at least, once a month somewhere that asked for the Metropolitan ice cream and then a very rarely, but it happened. You got any of that Napoleon ice cream. So she's got all these coupons and she's making him lean over and you have a, I was getting ice cream. The last break before I get up to the counter. That's the last thing against the ice cream. I don't want it mailed him before I get home, right. They're going through this whole thing and I and here's where the question comes to you. Have you ever been in a situation like that where somebody is haggling over a coupon or over a very small priced item? And they're having somebody go back and check the price where you've been. Like, I'll pay for it. Just bring it up on my way to get the hell out of my way. I'll pay the extra $0.17.

00:46:56  Yeah, just goes. I can go home. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I did. I feel like a monster for things like a very close to say that the day that I bought all the soap and it didn't ring up. I was like I'm not going to be that guy. Now I pay the extra now, there was a day this past week cuz I was on vacation. I went to Kroger on a mission to buy food for the entire week. I'm the one to get all kinds of stuff. I got $231 worth of stuff. It's on the counter. It's ready to go on. Like this is going to be a nightmare nightmare because all of the all of the situation I noticed that there's no Baggers and it's just this one cashier lady. Okay. Yeah she is the most awesome cashier that they have their I was in awe. I don't know what her name is but I was like, I'm going to have to be imma let you know there's just time for you just have to bag all your crap. We talked about that. As you can imagine, the entire thing is full of those where I have to wait for her, to get the bread through there. So I can

00:47:56  At the watermelon down on the end. There's not enough room. I go up to the card reader. I put in my code for the happy customer plus Theater. Dayton phone number, I put in the card to pay. She's already got half of the things half of them packed and in the thing so I'm like, holy crap. I put those in the thing. She's got the rest of. She's handing me bags. They were I literally put it up on the thing paid and put it in the cart while and I'm, I'm not kidding. It was less than two minutes. I was amazed. Wow. Like I was on my God good for her and she was like, giving me the receipt and tell me exactly when she just barely glanced at it and like you save $13 and something something said what she said. That, I say, yeah, because I am here, look at it. She had it down to the penny nice. She needs a raise too. She should be running that place should be running Kroger Incorporated. The cashiers at Kroger, do you need to raise? Yes.

00:48:56  Because they're very few of them and there's not like there's a lack of Shoppers. This portion of irritable bowel syndrome is brought to you by wallpaper stripper with its unique enzyme action, death dissolves, old paste and cuts wallpaper removal time in the half. That's right. Half imagine all the free time you'll have after stripping wallpaper with, if he'll you can take a walk, go to a movie or shoot pool with your old buddy, that just got out of prison, your options are unlimited with Biff. Oh, and did I mention that? No Steamers needed. Let me say that again. No, steamer is needed. When removing wallpaper with diff? Can you think of another wallpaper stripper that doesn't need a steamer? Yeah, I didn't think so. I don't mean to sound defensive here, but if you're using an inferior product to remove wallpaper, well, my friend, you're an idiot and nobody likes you. But if is fast and easy, it was voted best wallpaper stripper for years in a row. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and buy some

00:49:56  If today.

00:50:00  You know, my buddy, Jeff. Jeffrey our photographer. Yeah, he takes. Good pictures. He takes great pictures and he did our, our logo for your son. Charlie, you know, basically kick Jeff out of his job yet but all the pictures of us like the professional picture of. Michael God, can I please tell? This is absolutely Jeff. Brown's dad just turned 90 6. Okay. And this guy is hilarious. His dad. Joe is awesome. And I've said it many times. So you know my father passed away. Six years ago my father-in-law. He's also dead my grandfather and then my other grandfather's, they're all gone. I don't have any more money than your dad's left and so Jeff dad says you can still call me dad and I'm like absolutely that's what I'll do. So I keep calling this guy dad, I love him. He's great. So

00:51:00  Jeff went up to Findlay, Ohio to visit his dad, what's going on? I'm having the Cable Guy come out here to a to fix my cable box and just as a real, he's as yet I think it's um I think it's a scrotum, it's coming off, it reminded me of Mom with the scrotum people messing with your cable

00:51:34  Do you follow Rainn Wilson? Okay, I like Rainn Wilson to Dwight on the office. I don't know if you saw this or not, but he posted this thing this image and he says, what type of world do we live in? Where we let a guy like this, teach our kids and it's a picture of Captain Kangaroo. Okay, now what kind of world we live in? Okay, there are thousands and thousands of comments of people tearing Rainn Wilson a new one. People didn't I can see, I think I can see him doing that, just to be. But that seems funny to me why I listen to laugh. When you said that, if it was a joke, I don't know, I don't know. But if it was a joke it really backfired on him. I feel bad cuz it's not like his career is really going places right now. What was the last Rainn Wilson Wilson movie that you saw

00:52:34  Okay, that was 22 years ago. He was in that something recent, he was in the, the mecha shark thing with that bald guy who's in the no, ya, the Meg he was in the Meg, and that was, that must have been 7 years ago. I don't know who played the guy, who wears a hat bad for him because he did not make any friends and foes. There's a friend of our show and Timmerman and he's asked a couple of questions of us tonight. The first question, I think he wants to be on her staff because every week he sends me possible. Show topics. Okay. Every week, he knows that we don't have anything to talk about so he's like, you guys have run out of stories tonight. We talked for 22 minutes about ice cream. Ice cream is important. Are

00:53:34  It is important. He wants to know. He has questions about toast. He wants to know the real story, the real story about to the government cover-up or something. I want to know how the hell it came around. What happened? I don't know. You know, how did we end up start cooking animals? How do we go from eating animals? Raw or did we even eat animals wrong, right? What happened did something fall into fire, did somebody drop their lamb leg, whatever in the fire and then they pick it up and it's like this perfectly cooked is like oh my God dying from tapeworms. Same thing with milk I mean how many hours did they drink from before they stopped the PayPal. First guy that said let's go suck that thing. I don't

00:54:24  Listen to have that. I have a feeling. I have a feeling they saw other animals like the animal babies sucking on that thing as you refer to a seminary know, was if it's good enough for that little deer. I'm going to try to what the hell are we talkin about? I don't have any of those things happen, but you're right. That's the way they could see the cabin getting on the teat and I was like, well, that must be good and I need to put my cereal and something. Yeah. So I'll try that out, but toast. Yeah, but somebody must have dropped the bread that had the overcooked it. But why did they, they had to have over baked it for it to have turned into that? I don't know why did that become the preferred? Now, I, I make when I make sandwiches I make them with toast. Okay, because of the, I like the rigid. I like the structural, it hurts the roof of my mouth but I don't care. Use this o'rena so a sandwich. You like it on toes.

00:55:24  Crunchy bread and Ice Cream Sandwich. You don't like that. Zach Lee, okay. Sweet and savory. Okay, I want my Savory crunchy. I want my sweet. Soft. Okay. Well, he also wanted to know if there was an irritable dad syndrome theme park. What exhibits would we have? What? Like, what would be the mic? A little ride. Haha, concede for me. If they if we had a theme park you know how you can guess your you know, guess your weight or guess your age. It would be I would stand there with a t-shirt with my name on it yet I still have people try to guess. My name. Is it Daryl Wayne Damon. You know, the little dwarf and a little throwaway rides that they put in an amusement park at it, just for little kids to ride that. Nobody really wants to ride like the little cars here. They have the antique cars at Kings Island, antique cars, but it would be like an animatronic me. And you would get

00:56:24  The car and it would drive really slow around this thing. And you'd listen to be tell stories about you two and Tool and ice cream, and if you make it all the way into the ride without jumping out, you get a like a stuffed animals, you can put up with. And I would also have those, you know, the, the crazy like the people getting those hamster, balls in a sling, shot them up and they have cameras. I would do that, but I would make it so that the cables would randomly disconnect like every fifth one, who be a random thing we just fly off into the lake. Would get her out. Okay. I guess legally, I would have to have to cover yourself as they say In The Biz. You can't just kill people or I would have that going on on one side of the park, on the other side of the park, I would have people with water cannons. You could shoot the people when they

00:57:24  Shot up in the air and I'm you get a prize. Okay. That sounds good to chopping Mall. Never mind. I would also, I would also have the main roller coaster. I would have a car, a train with like dummies in it. People randomly, so with people waiting in line, but every once in awhile, I would see your car go by and somebody else like he would have little speaker box in it and then some

00:58:00  That would only be a thing for maybe a day and then people would figure out. Now they're not really throwing people off of it is Halloween and I'm telling me we are not going to do a second annual Halloween show lol, I'm curious to see if it would actually be a flop again. Yeah I guess I'm curious what you know, we should do what we want to do. What is this? This is almost August first time. Why don't we have people recommend Halloween, movies for us to watch like, what? Like make you and I watch a movie together. We watch that we watch and then will critique do. We have to watch them together or do? Can we both watch it separately and then critique it?

00:58:43  Can I see the last time? I because I tried to get you to go, see the Chris Rock.

00:58:50  Yeah, we didn't do it. I don't care. I don't either way, we can watch them together, okay? To make that a bonus episode are commentary, okay? Cuz people do that building commentary and then just play this commentary along with the movie like a psychopath. Okay. So that makes it a good idea to recommend a, a new horror movie, or a classic and original Halloween. We've seen here, and don't recommend eating stuff that we would have seen our original Halloween upright, which means you're gonna have to go back and listen to that to see what we talked about. So we pump the listens up money in the bank,

00:59:26  But yeah, any anything that you would think would be if we want to do like a will either do a commentary on it, you know, that you play along with, I'll figure out how to do that, or we'll just critiqued it on our Halloween episode is is one of the topics that we talked about. Talked about candy corn, again, whatever time I go to your address to Halloween, we're going to be at the Gojira concert and then we're going to go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and we hope to see you guys there. So if you come up to us, will take pictures will sign autographs. Mike will say, hey, I might

01:00:03  Korbel. So that'll be fun. So we want you to do that. And listen, this is episode 49. Episode 52 is going to be our best of waiting for pimping. Her side all the time, every lakes or email in there, where on Twitter or on the Facebook. But yeah, let us know what your favorite moments for the show. Our and we will mention that on a damn. That was easy to say,

01:00:44  We're going to head out. I'll talk to you later.

01:00:47  This concludes another Stellar episode of irritable, dad syndrome. If you would like to advertise on this podcast, send us a message on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or at our website. Irritable dad syndrome. Job. See you next time.