Cincinnati's Comedy Podcast!
Oct. 19, 2021

IDS #60 - What Do I Have To Do To Get a Piece of This Pie?

IDS #60 - What Do I Have To Do To Get a Piece of This Pie?
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Irritable Dad Syndrome

At home COVID tests with "Steve", Dune 2021, and free stuff at the oil change place!! Mike has a random opportunity to get WHATEVER from Kroger (but decides not to out of fear that his ice cream sandwiches will melt).  Darin's birthday surprise for his wife featuring a Collective Soul dance (kinda) from Mike.  Noisy fish wakin' up the house!!  Mike can't stop thinking of the banana cream pie he got - and how to take 6 kids to a college football game, randomly take them through the student section, and manage to not lose ANY of them (at least not permanently).

All this and MORE- on an extra special (and long) IDS!!!

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Transcript
00:00:00I'm tossing salad on this one.
00:00:07Get yourself. If you don't want to know about Apple, welcome to irritable. Dad syndrome, the podcast that snaps back wash after wash. Now you're at your host. Mike and Derrick is episode 60. What's new? Not much. I mean, how are you? I'm okay covid today. Yeah, that's right. So I woke up, I had to run over there. I had a sore throat, a little scratching it to the, to the old throat, which is interesting because the only normal throat there, you know, you know, your throat. Yeah, I have allergies. So usually in the spring and in the fall, I have a persistent sore throat.
00:01:07Right. I've dealt with it all. My life, never really thought much about it, until we entered the covid age. And it's now if you have anything happened, you have to do whatever last year when the Santa know, if you remember, last year was 2020. I do remember that. Was it? That was a hoot. Okay, but what if you thought that you had something, then in the early part of the year, you could not get tested direct, you could do it. Now, you go to the library, you get a free test. We have like three or four of them up there. They have those at the library home test, you got there, and give them your name, showing your ID, to give you an X number of them. It's in a box. It's all over the boxes. Do not open. Okay, so this morning, I hope that happened. I called in, I did what I need to do for work. I said I offered to take a self test and so I did the self test. It was the coolest thing ever, hit. You it on the outside of the package. In huge letters. Do not open this package.
00:02:05Great, right. All right, and it has a little QR code for an app. You go to that app. You putting all your information so they can they can track you. So the government can track you down and the Beast. Also, you had your vaccine, so they're watching you that way. That's right. So they want to combine all those things together so they can just blow your brain up in a couple years or whatever. And then the app tells you you know, what goes through the steps, your it connects you to a Proctor Proctor Proctor. Like I don't even know we've done it three times in one of the one of the times I wore Kevin.
00:02:48Or Stephen, but then when they come on, there's no way in hell that person's name is Kevin or Angela or Steven?
00:02:58You're going to make me do the the voice. I'm not. I'm just saying when we got to it, when we got the Steven was coming on and then he started stalking us. Like, that's that guy's name is not Steven. I bet. If I talk to him and start calling him Stephen. He's not going to answer me. Anyway, they tell you to go through it, you open up all the stuff and it's on your, on camera with them. Like, I see you. You can't see them, okay? To keep aiming the camera at the different things in and as they're telling you to open it, do this and you get a swap out and there's a little plate thingy with two holes. Okay? Okay. And a vial of liquid and they ask you to drop droplets from the violin to the top hole. Okay, and you got to drop six drops in there. Okay, and then want you to count out loud while you're doing it. This isn't, this is like 6 in the morning and I'm a little bleary-eyed in the morning. So I'm like and everybody in the family is gathered around the table.
00:03:58Can Dad take his covid test. I missed one of the drops. I'm going 1 to 3 and they, cuz they can make their reading from a script. And I said, I dropped one of the drops outside of the things. I put another drop in there. Oh, yeah, good, but it dropped. Then I had to unwrap the swab. They told me to not touch the continent of the swap. Okay. I got a jam at up my left nostril. Yeah, I did that rotate it until it reaches the brain. He had not all, do know a half inch but still it's, it feels a little dr. Pepper tree and, you know, just, you know, if you ever take a big shot of dr. Pepper and it goes through your stupid little small, Dr. Pepper Tree. Turn that thing clockwise or to the right whatever the hell he said five times. And you did tell you the directions to the direction and then stick it up the other nostril. I all on camera, you know, so they're looking at this big fat bald guy shoving stuff, his nose and twisting.
00:04:58After they've seen worse and then they said, stick it in the bottom hole so that you see it come up through the top hole. Now. I'm looking at the card and I don't understand what that means. I'm trying to, I'm starting to try to jam it underneath and this is like, no, no. Put it in the note here. And she pointed at that where I was supposed to get, it took me way longer than it. Should take a 46 year-old professional man, something in the whole way.
00:05:29It took if there's a time you like if you time how long it took someone to do this part of the test, you would have lost. I would have lost, I would have ended up in a different class. I would have ended up in a, in a different than it would have been good. I didn't make it to the final. I didn't make it to the finals. Then you have to pull. She said, the lady wasn't Kevin on me. It was, he was Angela. She said, pull the there's like an adhesive thing there cuz you're going to close this like a card. Okay? Okay, so she said pull the adhesive covering off and I pulled the adhesive off and I said, oh crap. I pulled off the adhesive and Angela went from normal voice. To what? What you did. What is it? Hold on.
00:06:15I said I think I can fix it. You can't fix it. What are you? What am I gonna do? I got I got it. It's closed. It's closed.
00:06:23Done. We got it. And she said, okay, they start a timer on your phone, takes over your phone timer for 15 minutes, then they're going to call you back. So we waited and it's like a pregnancy test. You got one lined up. Here are the next line pops up there. You're going to have a covid-19. So we waited 15 minutes. They called back. It was a different person. I think it was a he was a damn yard. It was 4 in the
00:06:55I think I'll leave it in and then he said, you know, you don't know your celebration. Like you said you would show negative four voices. You said, negative for covid. And I said, yeah. And he just kept reading like, he didn't celebrate with me anymore. Awesome. All I need to know is if you were done and she put it in this file on all this stuff and I sent it to work, but to follow our protocols, I have to do more. So I'm out for a while. So many days since I made a symptom-free negative. I'm excited. I don't know who I'm going to get on Thursday. I might get Michael, you know, and could be Diane but stoked that that girl. That's not the first time. I mean this is kind of an old joke, but if you're calling customer service or something, someone comes on and says they're Steven and they're clearly not.
00:07:55You know, they're not, is that why do they do? They do that? Because they think that Americans are English-speaking. People are terrified of other names. I don't know. I have no idea but I mean that's a good theory to know the last time. An ethic. I told the story with the last time I went and got a covid test, my son and I went in and we just went to the Urgent Care down the street and did that there, and let them know. How long will it? How long did you have to wait for? Did you do it like a 3-day results with the Urgent? Care? Urgent test. They gave me about 10 minutes. Now. Wow. Yeah, and it was one of those, like, you, what you were saying, you know, you're used to having allergy symptoms at this time of year and at the whatever other times of year, almost every single year I get bronchitis. Okay, I get bronchitis strep throat and a lot of times I get ear infections all at the same time. Now when I get ear infections,
00:08:54My ear can feel like I think I got a little bit of water in my ear and my both my ears are okay. They get infected so flipping easy. So, but now that covid going around, if I guess if I feel a little drowsy like crap, do I have do I have covid-19 testing positive and as soon as he sent us a text that, hey, just letting you know, and then I caught one. So I'll crap. And it's just, it's just crazy cuz I don't want it. I don't want to give it to anybody and I don't want your kids, get it. And that's why I'm being super careful out. My entire family has been vaccinated. Your son. Can't get it yet. Not yet. I'm over here in studio B1. So we have, yeah, we got to watch out for sure. I'll have to watch out for charm. So hopefully what is like Halloween, the end of October, got a job that one kid videos, kid, on the news. They just jamming the arm is the test kid. He seems okay.
00:09:54This portion of irritable dead Syndrome has brought you buy Whoppers all beef footlong hot dogs. I'm Dave Lay and there is never a time when you'll hear me say no to a Whoppers. All beef, footlong hot dog. There's a perfect meal for any occasion. And guess what, the fine folks at Whoppers are now making your eating experience, even better, but they're brand new foot long hot dog buns. Holy crap. These buns are delicious. They're easy to open. And they don't tear down in the middle like some other crappy Brands. Right now. If you buy a pack of hotdogs, they'll throw in a pack of buns for free. And as always, get a ruler and measure it yourself. If you're a hot dog, is in a footlong. They'll refund your money guarantee. Now. Back to you in the studio.
00:10:42My wife had a birthday happy. Happy birthday the age because she doesn't like talking about her age. But I think she looks absolutely fantastic. A couple years ago. She had I'm going to say threatened me cuz I was thinking about throwing her a surprise party. Okay. I was asking her questions that and she's like, don't you dare throw me a surprise party and so I've known for a while that this wasn't one of the things that is just she's just not comfortable doing that yet. So when she turned 40, okay.
00:11:22I took her out to dinner and I invited a couple of other couples. It was like eight of us sitting there at the restaurant and she hid, it was delightful. She had a blast and so I thought, you know what? I'm going to do that again. So I invited you and then I invited her friends, Dan, Regina and Robin Kate.
00:11:42She sees you and Beth. Okay, guys. Hi, honey. They're having dinner with so despite you acting inappropriate. Well, it's it's nice. It's not a fancy really fancy, but Mike's doing this dance and he says this guy's acting like he's trying to dip his nuts into something.
00:12:21I was emulating. What's the guitar player for Collective? Soul was doing the end. He was dipping his balls in it. The entire time. It was amazing. That man has got to have Quad 4 days, but it was hilarious. It was absolutely hilarious. He witnessed people get kicked out like an entire family. Get ya know ya. Cops came and booted this entire family would like six or seven people or something like a whole section other than us. It was almost like, you know, that's going to come down to blows out in the parking lot there outside and the cops keep, you know, having the cam or there's a solid verbal threatenings or whatever. So, but anyway, I should have mentioned it last week because we record this year.
00:13:21We've already passed. My wife's birthday, but happy birthday. Happy birthday, baby. I love you guys. I have a confession to make dinner. When was that dinner? Was that Saturday? Yeah, it was Saturday, at least once every 2 hours since that dinner. I've thought about that banana cream pie that I had in a good or bad. When a good way. Okay. I've considered going back there just to have the banana cream pie and I don't want to eat it there. I want to bring it here. I want to get in my jammies.
00:14:01I want to watch favorite episode of Breaking Bad. I want something from season 4, maybe something with Gus. Haha, you know, and I will just want to sit and I want to enjoy that banana cream pie by myself and then immediately go to sleep, get like an entire one or just a slice know, the whole damn thing you ordered. So Mike looks at the waitresses. What do I got to do to get a piece of this pie?
00:14:31I think I was direct pretty much just asked for it. And then you pay for it. But what do we have to do to make this happen? I'm serious. When it comes to the desert that has to work for me. Yeah, so we've got a controversy,. Okay, and we talked about it a little bit in the dinner and we haven't talked about it at all, for the rundown, which is why you have that Panic. Look at your front. Right? Right. You're throwing the loop-de-loop. OK. Dune is coming up, sleeper, has awakened. Okay, and we have to settle all my God, how we're going to see this movie? Because this could be the end of the podcast. If you do this wrong, if you do the same correctly, I want to see the movie with you and Livi. Haha, but I cannot handle. If you ask a single question movies. Have you seen with me many and how many times did I ruin them?
00:15:31Never never. Never. Let me think. Let me think. Let me think that you and I couldn't stand John Wick, but you would have met me at work. If you had a good time. You had a good time watching it. No. Yes, you did. I did not have I hated that cuz you're over there with a hold me. John Wick is okay. Now you're going weird place is okay. But the point is, is that the event that you did not ruin it. You did not run away, but I've heard stories from Libby about how you watch Lord of the Rings and you that story from me, but I heard that you kept pausing the movie but they don't allow it's against the law to hear. Can you just shut up for just a second and I can but will I don't feel like I need to explain myself with the Lord of the Rings.
00:16:31Whether this was when I work mornings at a TV station, I had been up since 4 a.m. To the 9 show. The Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Rings that movie is 4 hours and 72 minutes. Long. I had no idea what was going on before Sauron Saruman. Okay Golem and Gimli, Gollum Smeagol are the same person Aragorn is also strike. Okay, and then they are when they all introduced themselves as arrow and Son of Gimli, son of gloin. Yes. I'm sorry. I didn't know what the hell was going on, and I wanted to, I really wanted. Okay, so we rented the DVD, okay.
00:17:31In the Bible city of your own home. And I would pause and I say, and then she would say he is frustrated. I don't understand this movie and I want to, and then I finally figured out that I wasn't just being okay. Okay. I wanted to understand now that I get it, I can explain it to anybody. Okay, and it's the lord of rings, the trilogy combined ties for first place in the greatest movie ever made. So yeah, Dune is the Lord of the Rings of science fiction. OK. Google, science fiction. Are you. They run in the same circles. They know. I'm not done with that. Another 45 minutes.
00:18:31This is potentially they're going to start a series cuz there is a student as a series. Okay, David Lynch tried to do the movie. I personally thought the movie was okay. I thought it was good as parts of it are awesome. But I understand why people like it did didn't do well, right. And then you had the TV movie with William her too. Well it which I never saw. This one is like I think they're doing it right and from everything I've seen, they're setting it up for to be the next franchise. The last trailer I saw for it. Had a review saying, this is the next Lord of the Rings Star Wars. Okay. Thanks will do exactly. We will see, we will see. But the novel itself, but it's based on, this is the same. People have the same reverence for that that many have for Lord of the Rings. Like don't it's not like they're going to make a movie that it's like, oh you don't like people there that are ready to be mad. And I'm going to be one of them. Okay, but it's can be confusing because the David Lynch when was confused. I think that's why
00:19:31David Lynch, do it, right? People's eyes, colors, change. And I know I it's in my and I put it in your head and I shouldn't have done it. Right. But when his eyes change color from Green, when his eyes change from green to blue, I swear to God the funniest thing you can possibly do would be leaned over to whoever you're sitting next to which won't be me. And say why is my deal is because now honestly I'm going to do it. I'm not going to go to the movie with you because now I'm tempted to look over ago. Is that is that real sand? Is that, is that John Denver? I'm going to be packed. And now I'm trying to get all this out. It's now public, it will be public next week.
00:20:30Because Dude is coming out this, if you're listening to this podcast as it dropped, doing is starting three days from all I'm saying is you brought this on yourself to go to movies. We would have went to the movie and we would have been fine. We had to run your mouth part of this is me shielding myself because you can't ruin it for me. Now. You can't use the, you want a fat and how to stand up for? What was that? Was that a dude or what?
00:21:04Well, I have swords. Okay. I have a few swords. Yeah, I have a few sore, really showed me your swords or like a knight sword, more like a knight sword. Do you know what I mean? You know, what a good time is. I'm sure if I saw a Japanese like the scent of the Samurai likes, got to like a curve to it. Yeah, I do not have one of those. So years ago, when I was a kid, I had mentioned that the bills all katanas. Okay. I do not have a good time. But years ago when I was a kid, I'd ask for a sort of my dad bought me this long sword at the store. I mean, this is the most metal storycorps podcast. I asked my dad for a sword that he bought you a new sword, right? I mean, how old were you 10? So it's not sharp. I mean, I couldn't do so freaking heavy. I couldn't really do anything with it.
00:22:04Just kind of let you know. Like I would have my plastic lightsaber just act like I'm kind of wanted. I was disappointed in the sword you want to do I say was Indiana. Jones used as a kid? I didn't realize he had a machete and whatever. So I've got this giant sword and then I thought, well, when I get older, I'll frame it and hang it over a fireplace or something and I've never done that. And then a few years ago, see that happen. I was a kid couple years ago at work and I'm upstairs. And I'm walking to the sales department and this guy, one of the managers. Would you like to have one of these and he has these swords there? I don't know about 4 ft long. A smaller for my wife. Got these from somebody. I don't know. We're not going to do anything with those. You one of those are things.
00:23:04So, he gives them to me Whip and gives them to me. So, I've got these Game of Thrones miniature swords. Okay. Now, I told you, I juggle. I also have juggling knives. Okay, I have juggling no idea that you're okay. They're heavy. They're not sharp. But if they landed on your toe, your toe would come off. Okay. Okay, some of the my kids, some of their friends over and Jake, has his dad. Can I show them your swords? And I know know, but I was just what part of, no, you're not showing any of your friends, my sword know. So I have them tucked away in a place where nobody can have them. But, yeah.
00:23:51It's amazing. That come on over. I'll show them to you. It's just okay, it's just, there's like things. I think everybody has that if anyone else touches everything gets really serious really fast. So, for me, I mean, I just described with one of them. Is that Qatar right there? I barely even play that. But my dad bought that for me was a very special. That's guitar. Did that bother you when I did that? No, one of the kids friends. I can't remember. Came over and the LOI. When don't you dare not heard it rattling against the Frets. Yeah. You don't pull it out. You strum. It was nice. I said, don't do that again. Don't touch that.
00:24:39And I just kind of I guess something about the way I said at their eyes got really why I guess it went to kid's dad like gets serious with cuz usually dads.
00:24:49But if you're like a stop, right, you know, it's got that, you got the dad power, one of our superpowers. So he never would let anybody touch his albums. And I felt like I had reached some level of high esteem, but I was over at his house. And do you mind if I and I are going to pick it up and, you know, you don't put your fingers on the thing on the album at all. You don't put other smudgy fingerprints on the album, behold it on the side when you get it out, and I know how you put it on and I know how you drop a needle and I know how you get to. Yeah, you your delicate with. You have to be yes, and it was somebody else's stuff. Oh my God. Yeah.
00:25:37Cuz I was going to ask it was a couple months ago. We were in here and I was leafing through your problems and you didn't have a heart attack and I know they're covered in plastic. I thought maybe I think you know that if you did something one of those albums, you'd never leave the space. My life was like, right there, look right at your eye level, you see the three star craft boxes does collectors. You can't get, you can't get those anymore. All those little statues. When all those things are just screaming for a kid to touch him and I got my kids. They have not touched them. Even if they fall to the ground, they are buy backs up. I have a Peter Criss. Mr. Potato Head was giving me the mean I because I wouldn't let the kids play with my mr. Potato Head. I'm like, it's my beaner Christmas. Two potato, egg. What's give it to the kids that was given to me.
00:26:27Just like my Billy Idol Funko, Pop belongs to me and I don't want to take another box and not going to take it out of the box. I'm not going to play with it. The kids aren't going to play with it. It's mine. They have their own toys YouTube. My favorite band. Really? I love them. Okay. Now you've heard of the other all that. You can't leave behind my favorite. He will kind of a come back to their Roots, kind of thing. They went off on this thing. They came back down and it was like a huge thing. Me and best went to go see them on tour. Okay. I got a tour booked inside. I'm sorry to get all those outside. The tour program was adjust of sheet of stickers.
00:27:09Those stickers will never like the idea of putting those on anything. You're out of your mind that you don't take so far on our way home. And does that. That's a, can I have a few of these stickers for my car?
00:27:27And I had one of those things where I like the two bikes, the two Mikes popped up on the shoulder. The one by Fun. On the shoulder, the One mic popped up on the shoulder. Is it? So this is your fiance? Haha. She wants a couple of stickers. You both. Love you, too. What's it going to hurt? You're never going to leave the same as the other way. The other Mike was like, are you out of your mind? No. Is my coughing last room on the off-side. Actually? Now that I say that I am now, while I put that in my will, those stickers stickers? I've got some Rush stickers. I've got some Pearl Jam stickers and I know there's a tool sticker. You want them all on your coffin? Okay. Do you want with me? Did you ever buy an irritable Down syndrome sticker? Cuz I bought two. I can't afford will. They don't make it anymore? That's well. They do just nobody can get to him. I get you. I can hook you up at to bring this kid and cameras a dead. Can I stick this up? No, you're not stick.
00:28:27Get on anything. You can take the sticker and place. It's like, so Jacob has his on his dresser somewhere, but it's not stuck in a Cameron, has his, I think on his peg board or something. But through it, it goes over and holds it whatever. But don't want you sticking. It's over, you're done. You're done. Asked me if I'm
00:28:48That woman crazy. I'm glad you see it my way though, cuz I haven't really told that. So, you're the first person I've told that story,, you and her are now. The only people that know about that story and I was half afraid. You'll be like, yeah, give your wife, a sticker right on my side. Immediately know why would you even think about doing now? You put it on your car and you keep your car for 5 7 years. And then can you can't get the sticker off the bumper? No. No, you leave it unstuck. I'm stuck rapper. Yes. In a booklet in a thing is one instance where I will stick stickers and gleefully do it. Haha. You're building a PC. Every component. Everything comes with a cool sticker and they're weird stickers. They're like Metal, Sheets, with circuit things printed on them. I think some of these stickers cost more than the component that they come with. They look really cool wind up on your computer case.
00:29:48It's a neat little love you. Mom says I will stick like I never even put a campaign sticker on my car. Really believe in heart. Yeah. That I'm sorry, but and I don't want to I don't want to mock somebody or get into politics. I do there's nothing sadder than seeing a dole camp and sticker in a year-and-a-half after Bob Dole on the election.
00:30:23They should. Can you buy old campaign stickers? I'm sure you care. Nothing for a while. You could get the bush or brake and push. It was like, I don't know what that was. It was just a couple years ago. You could get those again. Remember that? They were like, t-shirts everything from like the 84 campaign. Yeah. I'm sure that you can. I mean, I've got, I found it. I like Ike button at a antique store and it was a dollar fifty or something, and I think this can't be up, but I possibly be an original. I like Ike. I want a weird. I would like to Anthony Weiner campaign t-shirt or something, you know.
00:30:58If we're that thing around, haha. Well, let me tell you.
00:31:06I've mentioned before that. My oldest son has a girlfriend and we have become friends with Jacobs girlfriends parents. They go to the same church. Okay. Yeah. That dinner with if they're nice people there, A lot of fun. We would least say they're good people.
00:31:28Sofia is the girlfriend Sofia and her mom. Angie came to watch Jacobs marching band. So we're all sitting there in the stands or Sophia, her mommy and Lilly kind of watching. We're getting ready for the band to perform and
00:31:46Angie is Sophia's mom.
00:31:50She started listening to the podcast. So she's listen to a couple of the new one. Okay, and she said, she went back. How far did you go back to dangerous? She went back to like, July something. Okay, that's still safe. July is right around the time when we met them do it. Do you talk about them in there? No, okay, but
00:32:19I don't know. She had, Angie started following us on Facebook. Okay, and right, around the time that she met us was, when I pulled the prank on Libby on her. Facebook page, when I saw ya Lady by hacking her Facebook page and saying, I woke up this morning in the yard to a deer licking salt off my mouth right to party or whatever is the new family years, which state is invited us over for that. Anyway, that was July listen to that episode like last week. So July August September for almost three and a half but she's not living is a
00:33:17Because she just had staying power that has love that. That's awesome. So fucken to say again. It was a joke as my wife did not wake up in the yard with margarita salt.
00:33:40This portion of our show is brought to you by Des liquid, concentrated, wallpaper stripper. Hi. I'm Dave late again. And normally I would go on and on about how great this is the Whoppers. All beef footlong hot dogs went over their time this week because of their new hot dog buns. But anyway, go to your local hardware store and buy some diff and tell him you heard about it on here, TUEBL. Dad syndrome.
00:34:03Someone suggested that Mike and Darren have plush dolls for sale on.
00:34:09Are water website? I think it's a great idea. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up with a little fat? There. Might as well. Do you know this one? One would ever go to you? We have to go tea in my life and then Potato Head thing, but we've got to figure out a way to make Mike and Erin plush dolls. Yeah. It's got to be a way to do it. Got to. I'm just thinking of a triangle with a goatee on one, not on the other and then one has a U-2 shirt and won't have a David Letterman shirt.
00:34:53SSO. We've got to make this happen, then if we do that, we could get bobbleheads or Funko Pops. Yeah. I mean, we've got to be close to famous enough. That everybody has a Funko. Big 5 million of them. Yeah, we've got to be famous all Lord, and I'll call Funko in the morning. You got accessories. Would Mike and Erin action figures. Come with. Oh boy. Well, black bag. Yeah, might have to come with a Gamepad like, yeah, and some vinyl like throwing ditto yours would come with a can of Monster Energy, drink, that would be your accessory, pull the string and then you just burp.
00:35:46Pull string flush. So, I totally want to create plushies plushies. Let's do that,. Be careful.
00:36:01I went got my oil changed. Congratulations. This is what we've got into an episode 60 folks and nothing happened. So I don't have. So we're going to replace it with like the Car-X story of the week because I went to get my oil changed. I was driving home. And my neighbor. Chris, Michael is coming into the neighborhood behind me. Craig, Craig, Craig Michael and he said that, I have a brake light out. One of my headlights was out and I thought, well, and I've got two light to lights and need to be fixed. And then a third light goes out the next day. Okay. I'm just going to have the people just do the oil change and fix the lights, all in one. Cuz I don't know if you know this and I'm not very handy and I'm not even
00:36:45So, I tell the people at car access said, I've got three lights out and I need an oil change and I said, Okay. God calls me up, and he tells me, what it's going to be to replace the lights. And I said, why do you think the both lights went out? Was it like a wiring thing? Or he thought that water had gotten in or something that they fixed it? They fix the lights. He says, this is the quote on changing the lights and they're giving me the keys and I'm giving them my credit card. And I look at the bill on the bill seems really low. This is for changing the lights and the oil change. Right? And the manager said I forgot to charge it for the oil change. And then I love,, I love car wreck so much. Awesome. I have been going to this particular car racks for the one right down the road here. So I'm 47 right? 12 years.
00:37:45I mean, for a long time, we have taken our last five cars there. I've been through three managers. It's okay. That's awesome. Before me was, I'm not going to say but he was kind of a little purse. Y'all forgot to change my sticker. That said, when I come back, you know, cuz you think so. The manager says, let me go check and make sure you have a sticker on your car. I said, okay, so go something looks.
00:38:21Oh, that's no one ever go. Just because one of their competitors kept screwing up our cars and not like a major like the engine fell out on the highway, right? But little things like not putting the oil cap back in the right way. So, I will just leaks down the road. And then the next day, we have zero oil. Now that happened three times in a row. Like how many, what the hell are on two different cars. So we started one car accident. They are awesome. Forgotten to put something on there and it's just like a Honda. CRV we went through. I don't know how many cars at car except for this special announcement. Congratulations to Robert Hill. Irritable Dead Sea.
00:39:21Rome's listener of the week. This has been a special announcement.
00:39:26It's a political season November to is when people vote. And there are political signs all over. These aren't would like major offices is like, dog catcher. Trust me I have is a trustee that school. Is it school board? School Board, levies you put on this issue? This ballot this thing, you know, the boat for the thing. Well, for thing to, or if you're against thing, vote for things 3, I'm concerned about the levees cuz Robert Plant said, When the Levee Breaks, exactly, I'm with you. So, whatever political party is on, not breaking the Levy's, right? I support them, but I'll tell you what was as far as issue to goes. If you're for issue too, by all means vote. Yes, and you're against issue to write the boat know. So anyway,
00:40:26Don't know who this guy is, but there's a person running for office. And his first name is Buck and I'm asking myself. Are we in Texas? Cuz this sounds like a guy running for office in Texas. What is Buck?
00:40:47That's why I think that's what it should be. I should be Buckminster. I imagine that your competitors probably named Dusty trying to gets dusty Salyers and the campaign. If I do like bugs need and I'll tell you right now, just to Sally, who has run this town until the ground and it's time that we get him out of here. I'm going to tell you about books, knee, and boys are some. And if you want each other's music box, need house in every damn one of them, the Lord. Now you want somebody, you can trust. And you want somebody to get your oil changed, right? You come on. Over to Dusty's pay his own children.
00:41:39This is Mike and Erin re-enacting sniffing around up there. But it needs Place. Tell your can rot in hell for all gallivanting around sister like that.
00:42:07Who promotes be paid for by Buck's hours?
00:42:13Wait for me. Why the hell am I paying for you? Anyway, I could be. He's five foot three bald with thick glasses and he's an accountant. I really do is just name but I don't know. If you're double dead Syndrome has brought you buy sweatpants. They're warm. Elastic e and sweatpants is fun to say. Now, back to the show. We haven't had it just stopped me if not know and this is why I just buy new. Just stopped for this week. I'm very excited. You're at the store or five people in line and it waiting patiently. Everything's like, you know, how long is this going to take open up another register? So what usually happens when they open up another register protocol, the person who's fifth in line usually jumps over there and gets done and What needs to have?
00:43:13People need to start being decent and you let the person who is next in line at the busy line, go over there. Occasionally, that person is too stupid or too. Unaware, to realize that the line is opened up the person. That's five people back as good sight, lines spotter. See they can see the line opened, their job is to Signal. The guy that should be going over the lady. I don't want to be, you know, whatever signal signal that person to go over there, but occasionally, because I've been the spotter before. I've been that the person that you're saying. What I'll to come on, get over there Snead. Bucks meet over there in that thing and they're busy there up there. Yeah. They're up there. Looking at the Burt's Bees lip balm. They're not paying attention to what the hell they're supposed to be doing something around there. So then I can give him an opportunity.
00:44:13Go get in that lane and if they'll do it, then I know that'll last a person. Now, you know, it's like free rein at that point. Right? Spot or has the advantage so you think the spotter there's a time there's a there's a very acceptable time. You see that opening you jump in and get it and call it out. You call it out. You say it's like a reverse reverse the reverse of that. You're you're you're letting everyone in the situation know there's a lane available and they're supposed to get it and then there's a time there. I say two seconds. You say no movement in 2 seconds seconds. Go right now. Now, if there's ice cream sandwiches involved, all bets are off. Actually. I'm not even in that line. If there's ice cream sandwiches. I'm down there and self-checkout, right? I'm surprised you even pay for the ice cream sandwiches, run out the store.
00:45:13Victor's. Throw money behind you. It's interesting you say that cuz that leads into my Kroger Story the week. You know, what an Incredible Hulk would do, he would still close and then he have money on the clothesline or tell me if this makes me a terrible person Story the week, this is Kroger store you Kroger store.
00:45:32It's time now for the Kroger story of the week. It's a it's a short one. She said, okay. I'm at the Kroger today. I'm going through the checkout. The little thing that says, please go back. Your thing has gone off your ear.
00:45:50Please go back to your thing is going on, you know, if you still try to still keep inventory control system, please get that thing. Go off in the Kroger. It just no inventory control system. Has been alerted. Please return back to the register and pay for whatever your item. It just said that today, it was going and going and going. And I'm at the self-checkout. It goes the entire time that I'm self. Check it out. And people are just passing through. Clearly. There's a problem with it. It's just going off. I had a brief moment where I thought
00:46:25I don't really have to pay for any of this. I could just will the card out there there because even if it goes off, they're going to think that it's because it's malfunctioning, right? So then I thought you were a decent person and I don't go there. I thought about going back into the store and just doing like a humor that show where they just throw a shopping cart. And in a fun time, shopping shopping at Ridgemont High and then come back, but I didn't do any of those things because
00:47:05I had ice cream sandwiches and it would have extended the period of time, but they were exposed to heat.
00:47:13My point is okay, ice cream sandwiches. Make me a better person. Now, they don't, they turn you into a monster that they stopped me from from taking advantage of them. In your house. We can get them in your freezer. Then your might be a better person. You share those know, they're hidden in the best, went to the store today and Charlie gave her a list. And on the list was ice cream sandwiches. She bought the surfboarding Penguins on the, the glacier. We're past. Those were in Blue Bunny. Are you guys in marriage counseling? No pressure like where the Jeffersons, you know, we've we've got up to a certain point. We don't go back down anymore. They got to that apartment and you don't, you don't you don't you just don't go backwards, right? I paid my dues. I paid my dues in a hoverboard ice cream sandwiches. George Jefferson paid his dues at the laundromat. Yes. Okay. He became the owner.
00:48:12He moved on up the fifth in the theme song to a deluxe apartment at apartment. And I feel like I've graduated to Blue Bunny, Ice cream sandwiches. I'm not the one I watch The Jeffersons. Now that I know it's not, and he's always wearing a suit. That's weird. I think people were people wear suits a lot back, then it's not that big of a cattle, Seattle. I don't know where the Jeffersons were near her, New York, New York. I mean, that the prices are pretty up there for, like a square footage of the apartment, but I look at it, now has been, I got an email from Steve Farrell.
00:49:12Steve barrows, a longtime fan of the show. He and I have been friends since College. OK. Google back for a long time. And he asked me if I went to see the new James Bond movie with Steve Gregg. Hannah, or what's his name? Craig Stevens? Yeah. I haven't seen the lad ice. I really I love Casino Royale. I love the I watch most of the Pierce Brosnan ones. I think I saw all the Rodger Moore ones. I got the eye of the collection over there. I started going through the Sean Connery ones, and I can't, I'm laughing myself all the way through those East backhand and women. He's D smoking in the thing. He's telling me he's saying the most horrible horrible things that you can never say anymore and it's time just it's almost like watching it like a case study in how you should not be as a human woman that every first James Bond movie.
00:50:12I saw was for your eyes, only with Rodger Moore with me with the lady. I don't like The View to a Kill with Duran Duran and I love that. Yeah, that may be my favorite James Bond, Christopher Walken. I think was the villain and I love to View to a Kill for your eyes. Only boy. I like the Skyfall by Adele. I thought that was a good thing. We're getting off point on the edge and Tina, Turner theme song, GoldenEye Bono and the edge were on that. Okay, they did the music and then I did not know that. Any way to mention for the weak point of the story and I have Steve said, it's Spektor, right? That's called Spectre.
00:51:12The new movie, you know, it's called No Time,, no time to Die the last inspector or one of them. One of Solace is so fast-paced. I don't know about 40 minutes longer than it needed to be. I love that one. Again. I'm off. I keep, I keep in her up. I'm sorry. Steve said that it was the first movie. He had seen in the theater since Age of Ultron and I thought, wow, cool. That's what, what, what will and then I said, wait a minute.
00:51:51You didn't see Avengers endgame in the theater. Nope.
00:51:56I don't even know what that is. How do you not go? See?
00:52:07Avengers, endgame wrong way. It's got to be broke. I don't know.
00:52:16What happened to 3 days ago and I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Pretty far back in the, I'm looking over the thing over there right now. I want to see and engaged even cinematic event of our lifetime of people who hadn't watched any of the Marvel stuff. At that point. We're going to see in Gang Beasts for the whole the right. Well, I guess I better see this before I'm out. Shunned. Yeah, if you weren't in the theater you and Captain America, tighten the shield on his wrist. Yeah. And his buddies came in. Oh my Lord, on your left, on your left, on your another piece of that. I know we talked about this scene for bass, till I get chills because tears come, because Andrew Andrew and I got into it. When the first Avengers movie, I think and from then on we were watching, almond theater. He naturally came to Black Panther being his favorite. Okay? Okay, and me and Charlie. I've always been a Captain America guy, and Charlie love, Captain America, and for us to be
00:53:16Sit in there and see and invest like Spider-Man and, you know, Spider-Man has it the way he comes back. Yeah. So for all of us to see in boiler or throw up for us to see, Captain America, tighten it up. So me and Charlie got our and then the first when it comes to his black panther Andrews over there, like cheering, no, a falcon falcon. Falcon flew through the Panthers. Walk-in doctor strange. Oh my God. Don't know if you watch it on his phone and he's not allowed to listen this bucket. And this is like the one time.
00:54:07Our family me Libby. Jacob Cameron. We're all stoked out of our minds equally for this movie. I mean, months leading up to it coming out of the theater. Like, how do you think and what's going to happen? If you see what we're going to do about this, and how can I possibly gets a nose? When you can't sneak up on him? Cuz he has the time Stone you can't because he's got this stone, is what's going to happen? And we were just could not figure it out. We were just and then, you know, the date came.
00:54:43Edwards, when we were in jammies, we made Andrew where Iron Man Jamie's. He changed right before you walked in and cuz he was embarrassed, but Charlie was in his Captain America Jamie's. I was in my Captain America Jamie's vessels and Herb. Captain Marvel Champions. Olivia Captain Marvel shirt. I wore my Captain America shirt. Jacob was The Avengers, the hole, the hole, and then Cameron had his black panther shirt, and we went on opening night and we had a whole row and we were screaming our minds as Lord losing their minds watch. That movie was a freak. I still remember in the theater. The first thing is, I saw it when I saw with you, we were cheering at the end of it with the Captain America part. I still remember seeing it for the first time the first time he held his hand out and it got Thor's hammer back of that somebody in the back. When I mean it was like, you know us free beer at the hog drop some by was getting on.
00:55:43Big bucks need and I'm just glad that I saw yours were back there. I went to the movie together. They actually put their differences, aside a game together. So what a weirdo, I know what a freak you are with a guy in college that. I knew that we were we were talking about movies one night and this like the whole group whole mod in the dorm and it just naturally came that we were getting ready to, we are driving to put Empire Strikes Back and we are going to watch that. He's like, well, I understand it if I've never seen Star Wars, it was like record scratch, or my neck. That like, what what do you mean? You've never seen Star Wars?
00:56:18Dan was there to dance, probably listen to the man. I wish I had Dan has the most amazing memory. So Dan if you remember this name, if you remember this happening, please give me the details that I'm missing right now. But I do remember it was like a record scratching, all of us looked at him and like, what in this Ralph, is it so damn wrong. Number? What in the hell is wrong with you? What planet are you from? How do you not like, Sabres didn't death star and Yoda and none of this means anything to you at all. What is my good friend? Larry?
00:56:58Ed never seen Star Wars and then a guy I used to work with a producer Mark. I've never seen Star Wars, Mark. I understood Larry.
00:57:07I didn't understand like how could you have not cuz Larry was kind of hip and I thought he was with it on, all the cultural stuff, or whatever. So he's son Larry, jr. T Larry.
00:57:21Decided that he was going to try to get his dad into it. And so Larry comes to work one day and he said yeah, my kids watch got me into the first Star Wars movie. Like what do you mean by the first know he had this whole thing and he what? He watched The Phantom Menace. I think it was. I didn't get it. I wasn't crazy but I'm like, what are you doing? No, no, no no no no, no, no, and so I tried to tell her, I don't know if he's ever seen Star Wars since. So there was one. One thing about this. I want to mention. There's an interview with Quentin Tarantino and he's talking about blocking content, or blocking things from your, your kids, seen things like your parents, not letting their kids see, like go to the Marvel movies or these things like that exists. I call that child abuse any way, but he points out.
00:58:21Make whatever choice you feel is appropriate but he's like, you got to realize that there's a cost of that. He's like there's there's things like in the culture that become part of our, what we talked about it, part of what we reference. So, for the Gen xers and stop at Star Wars everybody at some point, we'll liking something back to Star Wars, you know, just as example, work or Indiana Jones and you're putting that kid in a place. Yeah, you don't agree with it or whatever you're putting them in a place where they're not going to be able to identify with whatever is being said, they're going to fill just slightly left out his like it's cool. You know what you want when I turn 18. Do whatever they want. Anyway, and maybe about belts yet, but they won't have that attachment with the other people, their age. So just keep that in mind, right here. When you're blocking, you know, certain things. I thought that was an interesting perspective.
00:59:12When I was in high school, I saw Porky's and Fast Times at Ridgemont High. And I know you're not a mass murderer. Now know that I know of, I mean, I guess Mom, just let us watch it because you know, we couldn't watch it on TV. We didn't have HBO and HBO wasn't a thing. What was it? We didn't have it but I don't know how I saw it. But anyway, I did see it and everybody it's cool, saw it. Yeah everybody. Yeah. Yeah, but yeah, he was. Yeah, you still got like you your major things like that. The video games, as one of them like hipster. Some people are just completely block them, right? I understand blocking certain games or whatever if you completely remove that in their life when they when they talk. I think that is true.
01:00:20This awkward pause is brought to you by apples. That's right. Sweet delicious apples at irritable dead syndrome. We know that there are dozens of apples to choose from, so ask your local produce department employee, which apples are right for you. Enjoy one today, Apple Valley.
01:00:40I keep threatening to take this for a bit of ours, back to the pet store. And you do that.
01:00:49Can I threaten sure? I can you take them back? Cuz he has pissy feet. Could there was a time. I think it was 30 days. I'm pretty sure we're past the 30-day Martin. We do now, just flush him down the toilet, toilet plunger, you go back to the pet store, my kids like Dad, please don't do that. And I'm think they know I'm not going to do it. Kinda, and I was talking to my mom about it and I said, it won't stop peeing and pooping in his cage when he's getting to a point where he's getting better. But anyway, I was telling Mom that I threatened to take the rental back with the kids. If she's as you're just like your grandmother, my grandmother wants took a fish back to the pet store because it made too much noise.
01:01:44They don't even make noise.
01:01:49Is it over there singing?
01:01:53Looks like runner back in the side of the tank. Was it like that? Frog in the Looney Tunes cartoon sisters, singing and mom swears. She said, yeah, the fish was making too much noise. I don't know if it was going in and out and kick in the Rocks around or whatever. My Lord fish.
01:02:20Nana took a fish back to the pet store. So,
01:02:33Andrew's birthday present was this past weekend. Your kid was part of that. Andrew wanted to go see a UC Bearcats football, University of Cincinnati. And a bearcat is a cross between a bear and a cat and a cat. We go. There were six kids. So me and vests and then Charlie and Andrew for other, Mike Cameron, all your kid and it's real brat three. Other kids are really good. They had to be anything in there because we're idiots at 7 and then we don't talk about that. So we get there and of course we go the exact Wrong Way Around The Arena Stadium or whatever. The hell you call that thing and we walk through the student section walking through the student section.
01:03:26With an undefeated team that's potentially going to be the in the playoffs with six kids was interesting for them. Not yours for them. We lost Cameron for a few seconds. We found him. We knew exactly where he was in it.
01:03:47I've got it, we knew exactly where it was. He was just having trouble getting through. I think it was, I think it was one of the other kids. When I went back in there and pull him out. It was like he was like, you know, Ace Ventura, when he gets comes out of the Indiana Jones when he jumps through the thing and then Outdoors closing, he grabbed. He was a lot like that cuz I don't know if you know this but not that considerate that we made it to our seats. So we had a row, you know, of 8 seats there. And of course, the seat that I'm sitting in the person next to me is overflowing into my see, which is fine. I didn't mind. I'm okay. I kind of cuz I Charlie was sitting next to me and it one point, Charlie said he was hungry and I'm trying to explain to him that we are at a college football game. There's tons of people here and it's going to be a long time to get something. He still hungry. Okay, we go out there were in line. He's upset because we're spending all this time out there when we could be back in the thing, but it's too late for the like I asked.
01:04:47If she wants anything, she's asking all the kids right? When I get up they say they all want a pretzel to help out there with Charlie. If I met you chose to take six kids to a game. So at this point, at this point, it started to come funny to me so I can become a challenge. Can you carry a pretzel? Cuz I'm getting a pretzel and a drink all the way. I told him. I'm not buying anybody drinks, but me right. If they want drinks. They can go back out and get them if they did later, but I'm carrying all these pretzels and I asked him if they had a bag and they just laughed at me.
01:05:29At least act and I'm holding them. You have a convenient carrying case. So I got use for these pretzels. I do say good. So, so so picture a mildly to moderately overweight, Mike.
01:05:41With eight pretzels, balance between his chin and one hand, a drink in the other hand, and vaguely aware of where his eight-year-old is at any point trying to get back into their, I made it to the row.
01:05:56I start, you know, of course, we're in the middle of the Run. Of course, there's like six people have to get through Charlie help me get their attention because they won't listen to me and Charlie's like and pointed at me. And I looked up that dick head man. Yeah, and then so he goes through I go through and then I'm about to fall over and I'm passing out pretzels to these kids, the drunk people behind to start. So I acted like I was going to drop the pretzels on the people in front of me. I think they thought it was funny. One of them didn't I didn't care. I passed out all the pretzels and sat down and I had a great time sitting there eating my pretzel mission accomplished. The one thing that bothers me. It was an awesome day. It was really fun. It was a blowout, the first play for one of the first place. When we tackled, when you see tackled the opposing team. They picked up the guy with the ball.
01:06:51And physically carried him about five to seven yards the opposite direction before placing him unceremonious lie on the ground and it wasn't a normal tackle. It was they actually I've never seen that before. I've never seen the defending team gain yardage on a play by carrying the person backwards. I think I told you later. I'm not kidding about this. It was like watching the Globetrotters against the Washington generals. It started to look like they were a joke team and that they knew it, but boy, like if you have a chance to go, see a unity game, it after all kinds of stuff that they do in there with the way they do the kickoff and I wasn't there, but from what I hear you. He was so far ahead by the fourth quarter. They let members of the marching band play at one point. It looked it made it really did make it look easy. I think there's some kids that are probably going out for football now, because they watch that, anybody can play football. Look at this.
01:07:51Literally just carried that guy and walk down the field and put him where they wanted him. So there was one thing that annoyed me throughout the entire game. It was parents weekend. It was another reason why he was completely packed. There was a parent right in front of me, you had her arm around her daughter playing with her daughter's hair, the entire time, hugging, or kissing her head on the shoulder. She was spilling over her seat. Her arm kept playing on my leg. I don't know about you, right? But if I'm reaching around, you knows, but my arm around my kids or wife or anybody in my arm, touching somebody behind me. I immediately get skeeved out there. Oh my God, I'm sorry. I don't want anything to get it. She not only didn't mind. She kept rest in her arm on my knee. So I kept getting back, but I have long legs. I can't. There's only so far. I can go. And then what was her daughter? Would occasionally, put her arm pit on my way.
01:08:53This happened almost the entire game and I've been married for almost 20 years, never put her arms and never let her armpit on my way. And we have to get, I feel violated when I feel violated. I was it was, it was, it was it, it took a lot of patients on my part because by the third quarter, I was like, holy. Get your arms off of this. This is almost assault. You need to stop touching her because it's making you touch me. And I don't want to touch either one of you. It's almost as if they have been separated for 20 years and they got reunited. Do you know? So it was a weird still. That's a little too huh? He doesn't the mom. The mom wasn't even watching the game. She just kept staring at her daughter and I understand you miss your daughter, but my God, a football game if you really
01:09:53Next time, you're at a football game. What's the damn game? Watch the damn game, but I want I want anyone out there. Listening, go to a football game with new a 15-minute quarters cuz you know, they last longer that and imagine having your arm around somebody looking in their eyes and playing with their hair for 3/4 straight. And the only reason they quit was, because at the end of that third-quarter, they left because by then, it was like 50, mm to 1 and and they were they stopped tackling the quarterback. They just kept carrying around the field and kick him in the nuts. I mean it was the other reason we were there. We likes to act really really got to stay for the whole. Haha, whole thing is that he wants to run down and then do the field playing the the general. I can't remember that. They're playing it on your knee. No they did not. Okay. What the score was so high Lakota West was that?
01:10:5335. I want to say like 35 to 3 or something. Okay, then they just initiated the rule where they're going to let the clock run. Okay, they're not going to stop the clock for whatever because what's the point, you know, and they said, they just left. They just let the clock run because it's cuz it's a bloodbath, it's not embarrassing. I don't want to say, it's embarrassing but sad for the other day and it's unexpected. One more sports-related. Andrew and his team, the Kings and the likely black basketball league of America. They won their first game this past weekend and he blocked a few baskets all over the place when Larry Bird and they didn't even have any what do you call those substitution, OSHA's the entire game?
01:11:53That's awesome proud of him.
01:12:02Usually we can't start the show. Now. We can't stop the show and I approved the 60 people dancing. To go to our website. Lots of cool bonus content. And our picture members are happy with the bonus, got to be happy, and follow us on Twitter, and Instagram. And the other thing, the Facebook, Facebook and definitely, at least on the Facebook and that, and it's Peter. That's where we hit. You know, the most. So, what was on that gift from one last time, we're going to mention? We will be in Cleveland at the end of October.
01:13:02See you there. So again, thank you so much for listening will see you next week on a terrible. Dad, Sandra na na. Na, na na. Na. Na na. Hey, hey. Hey. Goodbye.
01:13:19Cheer, practice, cheer, practice County. We had practice this morning.
01:13:23I'm not the mood, not in the mood mood and love play, not fighting.
01:13:40What what, what happened?
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