00:00:00All right. We are now officially recording. It record. Episode 84. We've been streaming this entire time. We're going to Deandra Gap. Gibson. Jack Jackson. Andrew Jackson. Get his. What about him. I would swear. I was just going to mention him. One of the things our lawyer may need to help me to
00:00:43Human Sacrifice, Austin, cast, living together. Just hurry up, please. Don't Smack us. We were only kidding you or your host. Mike and Erin. Hey everybody. How you doing? I'm Darren. I'm Mike. This is episode 84 of irritable bowel syndrome. We were very happy that you are. You upset about getting your spam or your story. Whichever way you go. We got some stories for you. I want to be in it. It's like it's like 90% of the sodium a week ago. I was talking about eating spam, and this guy works are worked there. He's long passed away Wayne. He say, did you eat Spam? Because you were poor like,
00:01:43A good spam sandwich to Spanish delicious. So we're up there about a few things here. I'm going to talk about bottled water and I'm going to join the 21st century and got over. Holy crap with my Facebook and wondered why no one was listening to or commented on anything that I did for about a three-week period, right? And another thing. I don't have a Kroger store this week, but I have a convenience store for this week and an incredible story of amazing customer service that I'm going to brag about. So stay tuned to this particular episode Mike. It's good to see you and good to see you. Look, here's the deal. I can Donuts is doing renovations. There's a Dunkin Donuts up the road from where we live. It's saved me. Okay. I was always Dunkin Donuts.
00:02:43Dunkin Donuts, save my life, before Dunkin Donuts. I had to go to Starbucks because I've gone beyond the UDF coffee UDF, copy doesn't do it for me anymore because I taste like cow piss. Haha. And then the second thing is, there's not enough of the active ingredient. OK. Google Kathleen THC. DMT. I need all of those things in the morning, to get me going exactly. Everyday. I need a dollop of caffeine and I need a bottle of water. Okay. Now, since Dunkin Donuts within the problem was Starbucks, and this is part of their business model Starbucks. You do you? But I ain't got time for that. Part of their business model is they want the kitchen cup of coffee to be special? Okay. I'm supposed to feel like it's, it's specially made for you, and it's enough that you're not just getting a cup of coffee. You're getting a cup of Starbucks.
00:03:43The Barista who was a 18 year old crack addict, 5 is for the walked in the store and now they're a barista at Starbucks and go directly. So, you know, I have no idea what that means. Supposed to be a thing and then Dunkin Donuts is the opposite of there, like, we want coffee. Here's your coffee. I sure. Do. Right. Switch means I don't have to spend time sitting behind Debbie and getting her triple caramel latte and making me making me 10 minutes. Late for work. All I want is an effing coffee. Also, I go to Dunkin and it's amazing. They practically throw it at you.
00:04:26It's like they have a Tom Brady, a freaking cop and they call them small medium and large not vent tape. I don't know. And then whatever it is about Starbucks, get over yourself. You didn't change the world by not going with small medium large, you make yourself look like and what's even worse, is that no matter which way you go. They are going to run into somebody that corrects you the other way. So, for a year, literally years, I refuse to save n t. A i want a large. I don't want to, I don't know what a venti is. You know what I mean? Get me that. Give me a large. Do you want my $12, get me what I asked for, nor believe, you find the stuff that you have in that place and put it in there until I reach me for that. Exactly. Okay. I got to the point where I would order a venti it hurt. The first few times it was like acid reflux, but I got through it like Fonzie.
00:05:26He was sorry right now. Then sometimes it was Sometime Late. Last year. I'm ordering a vente mean large really. Are you kidding me? That's a Chick-fil-A. Not saying my pleasure. It's like, I'm looking at you. So, you know, it's against everything. Yes. So I was so happy when the Dunkin Donuts went in because I now I can have my fast coffee hurled out at me. I can have my bottle of water and I can have my donut. Okay, I've gotten used to that and I order a blueberry donut because there's no confusion with a blueberry donut, right to order glaze. We want the frosting on top of that. They have a blueberry donut and you get your blueberry. I've clearly gotten used to that.
00:06:13Monday today is Tuesday, yesterday, I drove up and I noticed that the Dunkin Donuts was unusually dark. I love how you like, you know, your days if I got there and I know that that was Monday. I noticed that there's no lights on in the Dunkin Donuts, right? That I see the light for you to have a menu, lights are on. And in my head I have the menu lights are on. They want me to see what's on them. There's got to be somebody in there to order from. Okay, and maybe maybe they put like some polarizing Sheen or something on the outside to where no light gets out. They don't want people to know they're open, its only for special guests like me. So I pull up to the thing and there's a sign taped on the Dunkin Donuts speaker. Thing says, we're sorry, we're down until Thursday, this week doing renovation. Put the sign big in the parking lot and also,
00:07:13It's a brand-new Dunkin Donuts right now for a job there. What do you need called to see if they've looked at or whatever? He's as their clothes. I might wear clothes when you renovate in for right open to few months ago. What happened?
00:07:33So I cuss at no one because no one's there and then I drive down to the Starbucks. Okay, and I get my venti coffee and my bottle of water. Haha. It hurt me to say that. Yes. Okay. I have a question. You buy a bottle of water every morning. Okay. Yeah. Why don't you just why don't you just buy a 12-pack at the Kroger? I have your water and soda cold cuz cuz I'm an idiot cuz I'm an idiot that I do in the water, is that I will? If I'm going to work out on it, or something like that, and will pour the Roy powder or whatever the crap is in the bottle, and fill it with water and stick it in the, in the stuff like a Polaroid picture.
00:08:26So I need a bottle. Okay, occasionally, they won't have bottles okr bucks. And that's where today's dilemma came in, is I pulled around and they said, I said, I want to be in a bottle of water sitting. Okay, you'd like a venti coffee and a cup of water and I said, no, I bought a bottle of water and I'm looking at the time. I'm not, right. I don't have time for this, right. I'd like a bottle of water.
00:09:00I think I've taking a crap in the in the wrong place at the library gives away sir. A bottle of water. We didn't know, was you, we didn't know you were a VIP.
00:09:21So I come around and they give me the bottle of water. But that cause me stress. How hard is it to give me an? I, I know this is first world problems. I realize there's things going on in the world, but I just want a bottle of water. I don't think that that's too much to ask and I don't need the likes. This one was really like to drink water. I don't know. What is that? And now and now they're going to be. The thing was Starbucks. Is there going to be getting rid of single-use Cups? So I guess you come through and you just hold your hands out, make more of the coffee is going to put my mouth right underneath how hot. Is it before I do that? I don't get it in my hands with you to get a venti. I don't know how that works. Well, we had a very costly water bottle Lucas periods last week that we went to Universal Studios and we stayed at the Portofino Hotel in Orlando.
00:10:21And if you stay at this hotel, you get free Express passes. They give you the express pass. Okay, and we did them in by wee. My wife did the math so you could stay at a cheaper hotel and buy Express passes, or you can stay at a more expensive hotel and get the free Express Pass which was cheaper than staying that I had a cheaper hotel with them or whatever. This is why we stay we get into the room. We're bringing in the luggage and everything and it was like, oh cool water and she reaches out and grabs it and I'm like, in slow motion.
00:11:00Opens it up by eight dollars. Is 757 dollars? Why you open up the water? They charge $7.50 for a bottle of water in it. And so well, let's let's drink it. Another one of our finest water. That's the square water bottle, water bottle. They made will not fit in your cup. Holder in the car. Here is the bottle if there's a lecture light, enhanced water and then there's the in quotes smarter choice. Not only does
00:12:00But I'm sorry. Not Fuji. Not the Fugees. Yeah.
00:12:07The fugazi water. Exactly. It's a fizzy water. Not only, does Fiji have significantly more electrolytes. In other brand, ours are naturally occurring. How are you want to know? How am I as tropical rain slowly filters through volcanic rock gathers, its signature, soft smooth mouth feel. How smart is that ice? I'm like that's a dumbest thing I've ever heard anybody and that's why it's seven couple things. There's a couple of things that's not why you by Fiji Water Water cuz you want everyone to see you wear in the garden with this with a square water bottle. So when they look over at you and they feel like they kind of further brow, you can say it's Fiji better than you is that they have that cool sticker of the parent or whatever. It is now in a in a bush.
00:13:07Where the stickers on the back. And if you if the water's. And it's, that's really cool that worth the price of admission right there, but you got me or you lost me. I'm sorry, at we have more electrolytes because you can't say that without bringing to my nidhi, ocracy over the movie, Idiocracy still have never seen all my Lord. Every one is obsessed with electrolytes. So they get rid of all water and you're only allowed to drink Gatorade and Powerade cuz it's full of electrolytes. Right? And that our protagonist is dying of thirst and they just keep giving him. Gatorade is like this is I can't do this. But it, but it has electrolytes. It's better. It's more electrolytes, the killing other crops because they're feeding Gatorade to the corn.
00:13:57For the last time, I'm pretty sure what's killing the crops is this Braun do stuff the Broncos, go with plants crates, get electrolytes water on the crops with water like out the toilet. I mean, it doesn't have to be out of the toilet. But but yeah, that's the idea. But brondo is what plants crave.
00:14:21Okay, look, the plants aren't growing. So I'm pretty sure that the brown does not work and now I'm nobody in this, but I do know that if you put water on Plants, they grow Point. That's good. You sure. You ain't the smartest guy in the world. You want to solve this problem. I want to get my pardon. So why don't we just try it? Okay, and not worry about what plants crave Brothers, got looked at space. What are electrolytes? What do you even know what they use to make Brawn? Do ya but why do they use them to make brandl?
00:15:02Well, there was one winner, where our power went out for like two or three weeks. I had two drinks, acousta lights, a cool one. So let's just say there's a phone number on here. I was going to call him and ask him more about their electrolyte-enhanced water, but I don't really, I don't care. We should one of these days when we have, when we have nothing will call the hotline and will call the sandwich people back. I wish we had a meeting to do for open the bottle. We didn't realize we thought it was free water in the lady. Took the charge off and I said, well, that's great. We stay at your
00:16:02But your guys are blacklisted. Now, you're on some other list. Don't really have you accidentally open up. I'm sorry. I just, I was falling and I reached out to stop myself and open this bottle of water and dragon. I didn't mean to you. If that's exactly what happened. That is exactly what happened.
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00:17:14So I have joined the 21st century and I finally, and I finally, I think I'm the last person alive to download The Uber app to my phone. Will you use the Uber app? Will you were, you are a passenger with. I wasn't exactly. So, yes and Metallica. Win the famous. Where's the McDonald's? There's somewhere we shall we were one of our Uber drivers that story. He thought it was hilarious because our first so I've been now in three overs. Okay, which they're they're just cars but we proved our driver is ubering.
00:18:06We get to the airport. Our first Uber driver. This guy's name is Salvador. Okay. Okay. Okay, every locked-in. Okay, where you head, and he is just, just chatting, and just ready to go. And, and he's just really, really super cool. And he knows a lot about his town. It's kind of like that scene in Planes Trains and Automobiles. I'll come on. He's proud of his butt as happy and we asked him if he ever gets a lot of crazy people as well. I don't work the night. So that's when they come out. Exactly. He works. The the route that goes from the hotel to the airport and Airport hotel. That's like I said, I could see people at their best zactly. I'm doing days as I've got a family. I don't, I don't work nights anymore and whatever you sow, but we have a family.
00:19:06If you're going to do it at night at night, and he doesn't work tonight, but he did say there was one time he was working nights and some drunk people in the car and the girlfriend of the guy got a little touchy-feely and he's like, you know, very inappropriate but he's like, you know, still trying to be professional at the house laughing it off because, you know, you make a mixed, think about it and then you could a low rating and you don't get a tip. Yeah. I know you don't want to piss people off because they're drunk, you get them pissed off and then you've got a problem. So he's trying to deal with that or whatever and then I told them the back dollar store and he thought that was hysterical. I guess if you work nights, you just put a towel down in the back and look for the best.
00:20:06He was great. R s over driver was a guy and he's got this ponytail and it's down to his. His hair is like a long Dent, was that it was awesome. And he knew everything you could possibly know about every same part. He knew Disney World, Epcot, SeaWorld, how long? It's been open. They've got the most roller coasters of any amusement park in the world. There's a new universal theme park. This coming in 25, and he told me that they're going to belittle the thing. And then there's going to be a Bowser Castle, there's this and that and then if you go to this thing and he was just at my God, he could not have represented the city, but I might do you also work for Orlando to everything that's probably would get. Cuz it. Can you request a Uber drivers by name.
00:20:58Maybe, I don't know. Somebody like obviously impress you. Yeah, you would show me where all the bodies are buried. Our third over driver was not our favorite band. So we went to the concert and then that guy he was from Jamaica that. I guess the one that was going to take us to the makes me uncomfortable, living the kids in the backseat and I'm in the front seat and this Uber driver looks like the lead singer of Rage Against the Machine back De La Roca.
00:21:48But he doesn't hardly talk at all and he's listening to like the self-help guy to get Rich Podcast. Okay, and he really, he looks like he may have a rifle in the trunk. Now we might have to fight the power. Just totally looks like. Zachary larew to a self-help podcast and the contrast was going to be. He needs. We leave the hotel and within a couple minutes late. Liza's. She's as I don't own my gun. I don't have my lanyard, her lanyard, had her ID for credit card, or do you have it? And I said, no, I don't owe my goodness. Can we go back to the hotel?
00:22:48Please. I think I left in the restroom. He's like, okay, so he makes of it and makes it illegal Huey and back into the hotel and we're waiting and waiting. Okay? And waiting for Levi to come back out and I'm like she is totally lost and you're just in there with the kids.
00:23:09The boys and me and he's not saying a thing and I'm convinced that he hates us because he could get another, another fare, another. I know, taxi taxi, call it a fair trick at all. He is just getting more and more livid with me because I have a wife who doesn't know how to remove doesn't remember where the thing that goes around your neck. If she comes out, she calls me. She says it's not in here and they don't have it lost and found and then we're convinced that somebody found is so cool. Free Express Pass is convinced that some jackass is found it and it's really put a stain on the last day of vacation. Okay, so we get back in the car and she looks in her bag and it wasn't in there.
00:24:09I want to come get what we just, we go to the airport cuz we're going to miss her. So he's driving and he's still not talking at all. And that makes me so uncomfortable. Because now you've been through an event with them. You've been through some drama, you know what that something to talk about, but you know what? But you would think that if somebody found that they would do the right thing ever Turner right now.
00:24:34Did you notice that he was wearing it at that point, or and I noticed that there's a fence. There's a river that goes up along the Orlando Airport. There's a chain-link fence with barbed wire. What's the deal with the barbed wire? Pretty first crocodile that they're climbing up the fence and he goes, oh my God, you're going to die laughing at my best joke, you know, so we get there. Did his boots have little skulls on the ends of the toes.
00:25:12Do they have a twin. Another de Roca De La Roca sitting in the other, but we get there and he can't pull up to, to the along the curb before he normally drop people off. Aces. Is it? Okay. Well, you guys have a safe flight and yeah, like Reckless. He got us there on time. That's good. And I really hope he didn't lose a giga, turn a trailer or whatever you call it and I gave him a 5-star rating and I and I tipped him of, not 15%, but I tipped and 20% like the money is based on the time, spent with you not necessary and or the my let me there if they're getting paid. See, I was thinking that it was the time. Okay, probably the time from what times I've been on the taxi.
00:26:12Zipcar. So if they're stuck in traffic or whatever, I think that's how it is. I'd have to it. Let's call up. Uber Uber and I still don't have venmo. So I'm going to hang out before that happened. Exactly where they buy our own. It's $12 each and I'll bring you some cash cuz I'm the old man and all quarters. This portion of our show is brought to you by w. A all beef footlong hot dogs. We hear that you're double dead syndrome. Would like to remind you, that high-quality Whoppers merchandise is on sale at our website. A are without a doubt. Everyone's favorite hot dogs and fellows. Chicks. Love a guy who wears Whoppers t-shirts and sweatshirts. So what are you waiting for? Go to irritable dead syndrome.com now and buy some more stuff today.
00:27:13So so speaking of being an idiot with technology. I've noticed over the past three weeks that no one has liked or said anything about my Facebook post. And I take my Facebook posts very seriously. I know we're Facebook friends. We've had, we've been Facebook friends longer than we've had this. So I throw memes out there that I think are particularly, they give me the giggles earlier on. So I noticed that nobody's like, looking at or doing anything and I'm like, what the hell, and it wasn't until today. It was until today that I realized that all the posts that I've been making since the beginning of March, and this is now March 22nd since March 6th have been only to me.
00:28:02So true I've seen stuff so that from you almost every day not recent. Well, now you do now you do because I went back and I open them all up. Okay, but what happened was when I went to the tool concert because I know how I get, I start sending out stuff like crazy and I know, I know, I know, I know, I know people so I made it. So I'm only post into myself and then and I just noticed today, I didn't I wasn't posting anybody. So I only had myself to blame and we talked about. If you remember I think it was 2 episodes ago, maybe 1 or 2 episodes ago. We talked about how when one of us has a story that goes nowhere, right? Doesn't tie. And anyway, there's no punchline. There's nothing to Dave. Yeah. This has been one of those times.
00:28:55Nothing, there is nobody was seeing your Facebook and now they are now they are. Wow, unbelievable mind note.
00:29:12You you sick. So look at this. Look at this, analyzed this for a minute. I got we run a podcast that his ends now on its 84th episode. So we've been doing this for over twenty different countries or the 405 the story to mention it at the top. As something that I'm going to talk about. Hahaha knowing that the time that it wasn't going to guilt is not going to go anywhere. So here we are. So there you go. We like to make this an authentic experience. I'd like to think that people listen to us because they like to have people gathering in the background. It's like you're with friends. That's what people say about, Buddy, Steve Broadwell. Food lives in Chicago said what he likes best about our podcast. It's like you're at a bar or overhearing, a conversation at the next table.
00:30:12Do that. They're not always good conversation. This has been an example occasionally. You're at the bar and it's a very uncomfortable date or a weird meeting. I like I thought you were going to bring the machete. I know you said you were bringing the machete. I was going to bring the Rope. What that reminds me. This is completely off topic. What's the most unusual or not? A bad date, but like an uncomfortable. Do you ever had? Like a really uncomfortable date? Yeah. I kicked a girl out because she said something bad about you, too.
00:30:47I ended it right there. A never talk to her again. Do you want to hear that story? All right.
00:31:01We were listening to pop you to pop. One of the one of the one of the songs on there is his Mo's, I disagreed. See you're not going to piss off the Millennials. We'll talk about there and see what I know you're messing up. So there's a song out there called and it mofo. Okay. And Bono has the lyric looking for the baby, Jesus under the trash. Okay, and you know, that Laura comes on. I'm not even really paying attention to it, but I here I here I
00:31:31Can we listen to something else and to which I reply?
00:31:36Why perfectly? Why? I don't like what he saying about our Lord and savior.
00:31:48What shoe, this is Bono. I just wanted to know is Lord and savior?
00:32:05And I said, what do you mean? What he, what he said about God, and she said, he said, looking for the baby Jesus in trash, and I don't appreciate that. And I'm like, that's he, he said he's looking for under the trash. Like, he's trying to get through all the all the problems. He didn't expect to have a sermon about Bono and Jesus being metaphorical, not yet literal. Literally Aggies, not literally open up a run key container and looking for the baby Jesus, right? Yeah. It's
00:32:47I can't, I can't spend another minute with someone that can't look through. Cuz if you look at the look around, you life is full of metaphors. Look at my tool thing. I'm not actually summoning Satan. I just happen to like tool, right, you know, so, you know, your years ago I had to go. Hold on. Let me let me let me finish this come out. So I think I think we were supposed to go do something. I think I took her there and we were there for like 20 minutes, but she said it is there something wrong is like I just I got a problem with the YouTube thing. I think we just done it's going to take you home.
00:33:22And it was a, it was a silent ride all the way to her house. Her. Mom said really about how about you, too, and it's like it's this is a big one. This is it's been great. I never talk to her again, ever. That was the last conversation was, this is a pretty big deal right now. I think we're going to call it a friend, set me up on a blind date and I don't want to piss him off. And then I say this, but I didn't know that she was a cigarette smoker. That's something that should be mentioned. Cigars crack in pot.
00:34:01At the same time. I'm just getting warmed up. So man. She cute adorable. How did this come up? How did you find out that she is a smoker? Doesn't light up in front of each other. We were up until when you picked her up. You could tell she's not performing a block away and going to a restaurant. And I need to smoke before I go in. If you don't mind I'm like, okay, so we're home.
00:34:38No, it's because like my best friend in the whole world. Time, set me up on this. No, I don't want to cause any problems with the hammer and his girlfriend. I was friends with also and the two of them thought they're doing me. This big favor by sending it with the school. Now, she was super nice, very pretty. Yeah, she could not have been more. That's everything is perfect except that she was a smoker. And at the end of the night. I'm trying to be as nice as I can because again, my best friend set me up with that sounds like, it was very nice. I had a great time and let me take you home and and she's willing to give him my number, I said, okay, and so she's riding.
00:35:28And writing see writing out. The number is less 7 is hessie venedig, and she's riding the page over. She's riding. So, yes, she gave me her email and her that she and her home email and her home phone number and she gave me her work email for Marlboro rewards card number for Denver. And and I felt like that because I mean, she really, really wanted me to call her because she didn't get her and I and I didn't I didn't call her but she was really nice and she was pretty vocal. So I have the worst. The worst enemy of occurrence smoker is an ex-smoker that the successful X poker. Because by that I mean have not smoked and will not smoke.
00:36:28Because I know all the tricks and I feel like an idiot now because if you smoke, if you go to your house right now and you smoke a cigarette on your front porch and I'll leave it inside. And then drive back here before you get in my house. I'll be able to tell you smoked a cigarette. So, if you guys out there who are smokers and you're trying to hide it or you just not, you are not one cup and it sits and I can't believe I just used to work off my bar going days. Yeah. In the winter. I would leave my coat yet. I had to leave it in the car and walk through the 15 degree weather to get into the bar so I can. Judging you because you smoke. Yes. I'm just saying that. It's just were not. My grandmother's are fooling anybody by Lorde. She and she quit, like when she was 17.
00:37:286 or 75 years after that. And anyway, it's just that the the smell of cigarettes. I was just something I never could quite, you know, after I quit, I would hang around with smokers because I like the smell but after awhile, it sits it just I can't ya left in 19. It's been 19 years. Ford pickup told the story on the podcast before but you two, when we were before we became friends and this is when you, and I just knew each other, because we knew each other because our kids are friends and I was invited to a birthday party. A lot camera and you two had given away the free album on the iPhone. Which one is just what the hell is wrong with them? And they all this. It's so I put it on my Facebook page, boy. You never realize how much people hate you until you try to give away a free U2 album.
00:38:28If you'd like to come over here, please, I have a thing. I'd like to say to you about what you said about our Lord and savior Bona. I might put Mike & Mike, is Mike, write it. That was a joke. My good Lord, cuz I thought that I have a sense of humor to see where you stand on the topic.
00:38:47This portion of irritable dead Syndrome has brought you by this liquid, concentrated wallpaper stripper with its unique enzyme action. This dissolves old page didn't touch wallpaper removal time-and-a-half. This is stable a.m. People are constantly asking me for a home interior tips. So, let me give you some free advice if you want to cut corners and use a less-expensive inferior product, then knock yourself out, but don't come bitching to me. You and your living room, looks like an abandoned Turkish prison and the resale value of your home drops below. Sea level. Okay, death is Fast & Easy in the best part. No, steamer is needed. Death is the only one that really works. Look for dif wherever quality. Wallpaper stripper is sold now back to the show.
00:39:32I have a just stopped for this week, all know, and its people need to stop at the way they walk. Especially in large crowds. I think the rules. Don't apply to walk. Yeah, if you're walking in a large crowd. You don't just stop. Okay, you're off the road if you're going to stop because someone's going to trip over yet. You don't swerve. Okay, you don't cut across wait until you get all my God. People at Universal Studios. They did not know how to walk. Yeah. Yeah, and there's the four of us cuz I just stopped right in the middle of everything. I do this. Look at this sign for 3 hours. Exactly. And living God love her. I love her dearly and she keeps trying to she wanted to hold my hand while we hold hands.
00:40:32So we're constantly going in single file and snake on our way through it. I literally had to be in front because if Jacob was in front of Jacob would just walk and he could be like five miles away before he realizes. We get into it with universal. It will walk into the park. And before we hit even gotten in Andrews already written the hawk he did, and he's got a wand. He's back, is ready to go. What the hell happened? Then Jacob and Cameron. And then I because I saw a quiet place. I'm not going to let our youngest mineral behind. Anyway, that's how we would sneak through the park, but people are constantly weeding and cut in front of us. And if everybody the way I I bumped into one person the five.
00:41:32Days, I was at those Park so you've learned something so you can't tell by looking at me, but I do jog.
00:41:43I don't have the I have the same thing cuz I hate my typical place to go is Sharon Woods. Haha. And the number of people who most most people I should, I should let me calm down a little bit. Most people follow that rule. If you're you know, it's like you're on the stand in the light side of it. You're going that way the left side people to come this way. But periodically, you have people like that. For some reason. I've got a hold hands like a trio of people or four people across the whole thing. Do you have that? We have that happening? You have a somewhat severely out of shape person. I'm trying to run. So I'm wheezing a little loud and I've got you have kids with earphones when they're playing video games. Yes, and sometimes they talk to their friends on there. Have you noticed that when they have the earphones on they feel like they got to talk to their friends like this cuz I can't hear themselves. Guess you can probably hear Cameron from your house.
00:42:41So, I get like that when I have my earbuds and cuz I'm listening to, I might be listening to us or something like that. To me. I'm saying it under my breath. You know, I'm running and there's somebody right in front of me. That's Andrew, must be the one upstairs because the plaster is coming off the ceiling.
00:42:59I feel like I'm saying to myself. I think I'm saying it to myself. You got to be kidding me, but I know that I'm louder than I think I am because I can usually I'll do that and I'll see them like turn sharply. And look at me, and I'm like, well, they either heard me say that or they're hearing the clumping and the wheezing that's going along with it has been another example of an additional piece of information that goes to that go. We're absolutely nowhere and you can't even say that I was using it to brag that, I jog, because I'm talking about wheezing cough. People. I've seen me or seeing me right now. Like that guy hasn't been dogged in three years. I break a sweat putting on my shoes.
00:43:47We got a message to Chrissy's. I thought Sharon Woods was an act like that's actually pretty funny. That is still bad. But we've and you again, yeah, so yeah, leave it alone and I suck. You sending a smile. Your hair smells terrific, the perfect shampoo for ladies, who love to look, and smell their best. Now, back to the show.
00:44:15Here's a story that goes nowhere.
00:44:18Hot today, you know, I work from home now and yesterday, the kids were home from school at 4. They went back. After spring break. They went back to school and my wife went into the office. She works like 2 days from the office, two days from home. Okay. So this is the first day and I don't know how long I've had the house to myself. Okay? Okay, okay. And lunch came up and I'm heating up some hot dogs and I've got Alexa go on and I'm playing pushin forward back by Temple of the Dog. I'm like, I used to play a lot of air guitar caught myself lately. Just wanted to play air base and I'm just jealous even though I know I look stupid but I look way cooler, playing Air Base that I do want to play a guitar, a person walks in and saw me, they could they say,
00:45:18Celia the base. And then I told me you totally fooled. Me. And that story when, I know it doesn't matter where anytime I hear, outshined, whether it's here or out, and about at church.
00:45:42I have to stop Lester, cago to do the choir, whatever I'm doing, and I'll wave and back forth. And, and their robes to get out whatever I'm doing. If I'm driving, this gets dangerous. I have to stop everything when he does, He does that in the pasture. Just let's fly all. Yeah, yeah.
00:46:17I thought I had a real quick. So I don't know if you know about this. This is both good and good news. And bad news for me, when this releases. This place is going to be a war zone. You're in the house. They are making a biopic of you too. I saw that and it's in a, it's a series of three seasons. So far. One season takes them from the beginning up to Joshua Tree. The next is Joshua tree. Through started out started with boy right before they're pretty boy.
00:47:03Stevie Wonder, what's for going into dangerously close to being banned at this point. I believe, three boy and then
00:47:11From Joshua Tree to the activate yet. Just feed the baby and then up till present day. And so I was talking about, that was like I'm going to be nervous as hell. Get its being written by this. The same person. Did. The did the same people that did Bohemian Rhapsody by JJ Abrams. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's about as going to like a lightsaber. The point is the point is that I know a bit much about you to write. So they could make it really, really good. If they added all these little stories that I know, right about them, but then I'm going to be I'm like the guy when I watch Lord of the Rings. Okay. I had a lot of trouble with Fellowship of the Ring because that was the book that I read and I was being internally. The guy that's in there going to look with red or better known as
00:48:11I could enjoy myself at two towers and return the key cuz I had no idea what was happening and it was awesome. This movie the whole time to show anybody, the whole time. I was in her, like, that's not what happened. Why didn't they do? The thing with the work? Everybody decided they were going to be a priest. They almost kicked out of the band because he didn't want to be a priest. That would be fun and somehow working for 8:15, 16th, 2342 and and new people who lost fans are go. Again. Yeah. Polar bear on randomly was really awesome. The up until it wasn't, and it was like a light switch. I mean, you've got the new Star Trek, and you've got the new Star Wars.
00:49:11Doing those things to Abraham's did. What I was complaining with a couple weeks ago, with the agent. He's in the DC Universe and Marvel Universe, dude, you got to be careful because they're people who say that he'd destroyed both, which I loved loved Force. Awakens, Force awakens made me feel like I wanted to feel when I saw the, okay? And I cried when the spoiler alert, I cried when Han Solo died. I did because that that year, on solo died, my own father, died, and Letterman retired. I'm like, I was in the movies and I looked at him like I can't take any more of this. They're killing me.
00:50:02I already have a title for this Wednesday episode that goes nowhere.
00:50:08I don't know what happened. I thought I listed for an hour. And you know, normally we have a Kroger store to the week and we don't have a Kroger store the week. This week few weeks ago. We had a Walmart store in the week when we get cut it because I forgot to tell you that I had the audio for any throw that in the store. So there's a gas station and forget whole listing in Connecticut or Kansas or we have lists. We have listeners in in Europe, still. We still have Alice turn in France, left and I think it was some old lady that was accidentally subscribed. He's passed a gas station, a convenience store in the Cincinnati area, called UDF. In that sense for United Dairy Farmers, which makes no sense anyway.
00:51:03Right down the street from my house. And I went into UDF because we could order pizza and we didn't have any soda and I went in to UDF, and I saw a Fanta orange. And I'm like, okay, that's a deal. So, I grabbed them, when I go up to the front and the guy, working the register. I swear it was a transplant New York. How you doing? Good. How are you? I'm doing great. As it is that all you got 2:50. It's pretty good. It's cheaper than the small ones posted. Okay. Do you want to beg for those? Hey, you have a great night. You do, too.
00:52:03Hey that Ricci cup. It's only 150 u d. F is Walgreen. Walgreens. So I have a Walgreens story. Okay, for the two weeks or whatever, the hell. I'm at the Walgreens and I'm getting Walgreens is I hear that you can get prescriptions filled there, I go. There I go there for ice cream and chips and and things like that and Candy cuz they have those the movie theater candy boxes for for a $4 in there. And I totally agree. So, I see a watermelon peeps, peeps. I don't know how I missed that. They had hot tamale.
00:53:03Oh, disgusting back off. Are you kidding me? You are awesome. No, they're not amazing. Hot tamale peeps. Yes. Okay. Guess I'm up there. That reminds me of another store. So I'm getting the watermelon peeps. I, like I said, I didn't see the hot tamale and the ladies back and she's like,
00:53:25She holds them up. Just like, I love these so much and she Whispers. She gets really coaches. Did you see the hot tamale baby? Like, there's a line of people you at Walgreens and I look over. If you get there, and where they are from where you're at the register, you can clearly see all the peeps. I said. Oh my God, you do have Hot Tamales. She said, they're so amazing. She said, if you ever had them and I lied, I said no. Cuz I felt like I was a, I don't know why I did that, and she seemed so excited to tell me about him. Like, no, I don't know. The hot tamale Pizza. She's like, they're the best piece of all time. She's like, I love to cut the package, open. Haha. And then, and then I interrupted her because I too love this city and then let him sit out for a while, and get stale. She's like yes, and then they're chewy mess. It. That's the best type of paper. Like I don't like him. We're having this whole conversation is all these people that are like stacking up.
00:54:25Start calling the Clarice from the photo department. I come over and check people out and get yourself some hot tamale. And I thought, no, I don't want to. I'm fat. I can't, you know, you surely telling you this. I can't go get some hot tamale. She's like you did the right there.
00:54:51And she said you if you get them if you get them sick again today, she said because it was a nice time tonight. You can cut the package up and put them on top of the fridge and it for a few days and then they'll be ready for you on Tuesday or Wednesday.
00:55:05I'm looking and now I look as I have to look past all the customers that are waiting in line to see the hot tamale Peeps and they do not look at there, is one lady that's smiling cuz I'm off this whole thing is funny. And every else does not look amused and I'm like, I can't I mean I got to go, I got to go. I can't get the how to get the house of Ali peeps, tomorrow. She said, okay, but that mean you're here now and they're right there. Give me the watermelon peeps. If you just let me leave, so I get out in the parking lot. I put everything in the thing and I'm like, you know, I am right here and they are right there, so, I went back in
00:55:45Got two boxes of hot, tamale, baby. Haha, game through the line sheet. She magically got to see all the other people weren't taking, as long as this. And I was like, I couldn't, I had to go. And she said, I knew you'd be back for these what gave it away. The fact that I can barely walk cuz I'm so used, is that what the fat guy is going to come back for the candy. You tried to push me away. So I got them. And yeah, I cut them open and I stood in the kitchen. Once they became the correct, stay on this and ate half a box of peeps. Haha. I like, I cannot eat the whole box of papers. So I came downstairs. I play the video games and about 20 minutes, and then I went and ate the other half a box of each stand in the kitchen. You ate a whole box of pizza. The one night. I ate two boxes of pizza. I would go back and forth between the watermelon in the hot tamales.
00:56:45Filipino and the whatever into sweets. Okay. I know, I know that it's a cinnamon cinnamon. Okay, but you said it was hot tamales. Tamales tamales tamales the candy. Yeah, but it's probably is a pepper. So but yeah, I know, but there's cinnamon candies.
00:57:18What is the spicy peep quack, quack? That's a spicy beef. Few years ago at my old TV station. Where at in the sales department. Someone seems like once a week someone to bring up candy. And so someone had put a bunch of Snickers bars up there here and they were the Snicker with the jalapeño cuz Snickers got onboard like Oreo day and Pop-Tarts. And let's let's put this with broken glass in there with the jalapeño will my buddy. Jeff our photographer. Jeff Brown went up and got one and he's eating it and he's walking up the steps.
00:58:02My mouth feels funny that somebody had jacked with the candy bars. Like they had happened for years and years and years call Poison Control the rapper. And he went back upstairs to warn, notice that they were Shaker with jalapeño, but he did not recommend them. So I know you have since I don't think so. I love spicy food, but I don't take it to the extreme. I've got I've seen the you're going to die spicy sauce or smack you in the ass Pisces by jinjer, whatever. But I I found that ghost pepper. I'll take it to ghost pepper and I use ghost pepper as a mixer. So that's made chili. This last this past week past few days ago. And for the first time I was like, I want to put some ghost. Pepper salsa in there and see how it works. It adds zero flavor. It just adds.
00:59:02Eat talk about how I mixed sauces. Yes, and I do go to remember, to add their, kids are exactly. And I found that, you know, her chili tasted exactly the same with ghost pepper as it does without it just begins to hurt. My opinion. Food isn't supposed to hurt. It's not supposed to her know. I'm that's why I don't need any spicy foods.
00:59:26I cannot brag enough about the customer service when I called the Disney plus a good question. We bought a new phone at Verizon. Okay. And with this new phone, you get free Disney plus, okay. Okay. Okay, we had subscribed to Hulu for, we subscribe to Disney plus. Okay. So this whole time I've been paying a separate price for Hulu. I separate price for just cuz I don't want the SPN, no offence to people who watch sports. I don't watch, I don't watch sports. So we've never needed it anyway, so we get free Disney plus and I'm like, okay, that's fantastic. But secretly deep down in my gut and my core. I was dreading this cuz I like it's going to be one giant pain in the ass. Canceling one Disney.
01:00:26And then and then getting the free and I know I'm going to get Talkback. I'm going to get my problems or whatever. I called and the lady and I cannot remember her name. She could not have been nicer. How can I help you? Today? I said, well, I've got a new Verizon phone and with that comes disney+. So I need to, I don't know how complicated this is going to be, and she will take care of it. So, yeah, it says right here that you do have the free Disney plus plan, and it started actually started a couple weeks ago. So, let me get. This is what we're going to do. I'm going to cancel your account. Now. Do you want to keep your new plan on the same like, yeah, we can do that. Wow. So she says, okay. Give me as just, let's let go to this website, go to this website login, I logged in and then there's prom with the password. I forgot it. I reset that. And she was patient as in possibly be. I reset that do the thing. She goes to this page. Cancel that. Okay, okay.
01:01:26Images are going to renew this boom and she says, okay, we've got Disney handled. Let's let's get you set up with Hulu. We moved over off. We went to hulu.com. Make that sound when I'm I'm surprised of shocked actually cuz I thought she's going to transfer me to someone. You have to handle the other things. You were talking to AT&T. I thought for sure, you know, this is going to go more or less complicated more or less complicated. Yes. So we go over there. We cancel my Hulu plan. Okay, because of the of the bundle. I've got the bundle. Now the bundle. I just like saying bundle.
01:02:09So if we get that set up, it took 25 minutes, maybe a half hour and she was nice and calm. And she, she liked my funny jokes and laughs. You laughed at my jokes. Were there, fighting or not? And so will drop. Paige at exactly 8. Anyways, so the money that we saved her in any way. She could not have been nicer. So disney+, congratulations to your customer service team. Absolutely, incredible. 525 stars have a similar situation. So, anyway, we figured out that, now, that we're not paying for Disney plus, and it's in the bundle that we had a lot more money that we could spend. Cuz we were kind of skipping. We had Disney Hulu, Amazon, Prime, and you're using it. There's some good stuff on. It was good. So I'm not getting another streaming.
01:03:09So I refused that like I just found the hell. No, I'm not getting the Apple. I finally said, let's get apple. So you going to have so I got Apple. Okay, and I'm going to say right now. I absolutely love Ted. Lasso as much as I've Loved any other show I've ever seen. What is Ted lasso is Jason Sudeikis know. He was the The Running Man on it when she does the Running Man episode 1. I haven't loved the comedy. This much since we have Ben's watch the office on Netflix. Okay one and start another one that we watch the second. We watched 6, the first night. We were just going to see what this possibly be as good as everyone says it is. Yeah. And oh my God and Jason Sudeikis. His character is the most optimistic. It's like he is the most just positive.
01:04:09Great easygoing guy. Everybody hates him, the premises. He gets hired. He's a football coach in America to coach a soccer team in England. Okay, the woman who owns the team has gone through a very bitter divorce. He's got her husband's team. She acquired the team in the divorce. Okay, and she hates her ex-husband so much that she wants that team to go down in flames. Okay, just to piss off her husband. So cuz she knows, there's no way this can possibly work, right? And by God, he keeps everybody hates him. They end up loving him. She ends up and letting him. Okay. Yeah, the fans who hated him, they end up loving and it's not like a spoiler alert. I cannot say enough good things about Ted lasso.
01:05:09I know we were supposed to try for this. One of those, we were subscribed for a while and it was like, what the hell is this? Yeah. I'm in a happy that you didn't watch the 14, South Park movies, South Park, movies on HBO, HBO. Like I haven't canceled it because we do watch it periodically, right? But there is a ton of mean. It's it's almost as big as I would say, maybe all I don't want it's bigger than Netflix or as big, but it's pretty close. Right? It's like, it's like right there. I was thinking of getting that because like they got Oliver.
01:05:55What will? I mean? I watch John Oliver on YouTube, but they have. Well, it's not like I like the DC movies, but I did like the Batman, but they have decent amount of movie exclusively on HBO Max, they do. And they were, I mean, it's not that big of a deal. Now that enduring covid, there was a period there. Where every movie like major movies? They would stream simultaneously. It is it is it coming out in the theater?
01:06:24That's how I ended up seeing Matrix resurrections. Couldn't find a way to get out to see if I'm going to send us a couple of messages. I love you guys completely. If we don't look like he, pictured us. Okay, you looked exactly like that because we were talking about possibly replacing quacker, and he was a little bit upset about that. But Scott, thank you so much for the message and stuff lately. He's trying to start fights.
01:07:13I need a wrap this thing up. I got to go to bed. We are at a time. We recorded two episodes tonight, but we want to mention, you can listen to previous episode. You can send us money. You can go to Patron. Okay, there's several plans. And if you sign up for one of his plan, and Dave way, we'll do something for you a phone message for you to put on your phone. And we also want to mention that if you want to send this a gift, Craig Leslie hole. They sent us these cool irritable dancing, real cars. And I'm telling you, if you guys want to get in on the competition on this, see who can become a bigger fan of Greg says you too, and I think I dropped the the what's it called, drop the mic with the challenge, whatever, so, that's all anyway, will you? Thank you for listening? And we hope to see you next week on Ariel dancing.
01:08:07The show's over folks. Time to go back to work.
