Cincinnati's Comedy Podcast!
May 10, 2022

IDS #89 - I Want the Blower Whacker Combo

IDS #89 - I Want the Blower Whacker Combo
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Irritable Dad Syndrome

#texas #walmart #tednugent #cincinnati

In this week's episode, Darin wants to talk to the Mayor of Pflugerville, Texas

Super fans of the show want to vacation in Cincinnati and take the Irritable Dads out to dinner.

Mike went to the polls and you won't believe who he voted for. Hint... he's from Canada!

Plus... stuff you have to stop doing in Walmart, rules for getting a tattoo, people who dress up to mow the lawn and the second installment in our series: Songs that need to be retired.

Check us out on Newsly here --> https://newsly.me and use the promo code 1RR1TABLEDAD 

All this and a bunch more. Buckle up... this one is gonna be a doozy!

Support the Show.

Transcript
 
00:00:00Okay, check, check, check, check. Check check one, two, one, two, check. Check. Check.
00:00:12Cool, welcome to. That's right. We made another one. Your your hosts. Mike and Darren.
00:00:36Hey everybody. I'm here and I'm like, welcome to irritable Down syndrome. This is episode number 89. We got some stuff tonight in a while. I've got to bring suggestion. I've got multiple just stops tonight. I got and they all happened in 1:10 to 15 minute. No way. I was I was, I also want to talk about it. You started a new segment and I have a, I love our first complaint from a longtime listener. It did not did not agree with the song toys. Okay? Okay. Okay, but I have a song choice. We have a song toys for tonight. Okay? That I have a lot to say about that. Need to be retired. I never did tell what the hell I am on the professional. Should I know, right? It's like 89 episodes. I have a neighbor who mowed his grass in an unusual way of the turbines. And no, know another neighbor.
00:01:36We have listener mail. We haven't had two or three, good listener, males self. You know, I saw a picture. I just want to talk about the Durban here just for a minute. I saw a picture of the male Durban on Facebook without a hat. And I think that's the first time I've ever seen him without a hat or something to do. I know that I've ever seen him with a hat, really? Did he have a something like a crown or hit a hoodie on Halloween? I forgot. He was wearing a Halloween episode already has become. Everything's an episode for the show.
00:02:11And I think he had a hat on at your, at your stupid was at whose foot party with it, was my birthday party, a birthday party, and I was shocked. I didn't know who it was. Who is this? Man, that Aaron's hanging all over in their Facebook. And what is she has the balls to post that on Facebook, like that? Rather bird 1/2 C.
00:02:33Little aside little bit Hour podcast, hit a major Milestone. Last week. We went past the 10000 download market.
00:02:46Many, many podcast throughout the land, get there in a year or so. And we got there in 25, got a note from somebody who's listening to the early episodes and is refusing to skip forward. Talk about that a little bit later, but I still, they're bringing up things and we're like, what the hell are you talkin about? Chunks of Our Lives that we've completely forgotten. The reason I was going through some of the random facts about our downloads and I was looking specifically at where they're coming from and I noticed last week. They, we are getting a few about 5 or 6 downloads from a town called Pflugerville, Texas bless you.
00:03:32Hoovervilles and season is a Pflugerville or Pflugerville Pflugerville. Well, I'm pretty sure to Pflugerville, FedEx, loser. And I was looking up some information on Pflugerville it or it's a town. It's a city and Travis County, Texas and its Texas. As part of the United States are great. United States has the it's just outside. Austin City Limits, Austin. Okay. So, one of the music capital of the world, a lot of popular and country, music comes out of Austin, but apparently, this town was named. After some guy named, I believe, it's Henry, a Pflueger, Pflueger. And I was thinking that if we keep getting more and more downloads from Pflugerville, I think we should reach out to the mayor. And I would like to have the mayor of Pflugerville, Texas via guest on your show. So all you people could be in Pflugerville. I doubt it.
00:04:32Is it that would be what are you doing? I was going to look up Pflugerville and I started a video.
00:04:42Professional residents of Pflugerville, Texas 61,000 people. So we're going to try and get the mayor of Pflugerville, Texas. And I'm fascinated with this little town, 009 per cent of Pflugerville is listening to this podcast. If I want to bring it to a solid, 1% downloaded podcast, Mustang, Oklahoma. What's the most badass town? I can a Mustang. If you don't live in Mustang, kiss, my ass. I couldn't live there because I'm keep hearing the damn ABBA song. You know what, I'd like to have the mayor of Waterloo, Michigan. I'll be a guest on the Mustang, Oklahoma.
00:05:4289 episodes is episode 89. We don't do politics for a number of reasons. One. He was just don't, but I do want to talk about politics briefly. If you're for Issue 7, then vote for his right, Evan? Right here against this issue, 7, then then don't vote for it. Okay. There when everybody in Pflugerville, just wish you seven is probably on the ballot. We went to go vote. And best told me that one of the people that you vote, for is a right in and it said, what do you mean? It's the right? It was even write because you write in whoever you want. Haha. And I said, well, I'm going to rain in Getty lie, cuz I think he would do good at whatever that is, and she just laughed and said no you're not.
00:06:29At least she doesn't understand yet. What is exactly? No one tells, you know, you're not happy because my flight. Yes, I am. So I go in there and I wrote it was auditor. Okay, and I'd like we talked about just before we started really would make an amazing on. You Can Count, he's got mad skills. Hell yeah. All the time signatures that they change that he's got that going in his head. He's playing the keyboard. He's singing through all that. So, you know, I hope you and then I got in trouble. Now the guy that you're supposed to write in, is it going to win? I'm like, really. If here's the deal, if you're running for auditor and whatever District were in right now, right? And you lose because I wrote in get Ely, you don't think you had bigger problems, right?
00:07:19Like he had .5 a vote and then you're solid one for stem completely. I would like I would love the part of the Machiavelli and part of me would love for that to happen. They're sitting there. I just imagine a bunch of old people in the basement of the election board, counting out the votes. You know, I'm the man, even though I did it electronically out of imagine him pulling out of a hat and whatever the guy's name is, that was supposed to win. And then Athol in the back corner, says that and it screws up his supermajority or whatever the hell you need to have for Odyssey. I think you need to have TurboTax installed and a know how to spell Abacus. All you need to do to be the county auditor and I think you also have to be to have some type of 401k, maybe, maybe. So my dad always thought 401K was one of them robot in Star Wars. So, I stand behind my choice and if he doesn't want it, give it to Alex lifeson.
00:08:18Yes, I'm bad or of bucks need was bucks. Need running today or yes. After that stunt. You write this portion of our show is brought to you by cell phones. Are you tired of staying at home? Futzing around and waiting on important phone calls? Are you finding it harder and harder to find a pay phone to make calls when you really need one, the most you, my friend need a cell phone. Hi. I'm Dave way and I love making calls on my cell phone. They're small enough to carry in your pocket, and you can take one anywhere, even in your car and check this out. Most cell phones have cameras games, and internet access. Get yourself, one of these bad boys, and you'll never have to personally interact with other people. Again, get a cell phone today. Now, back to you mention Dagwood.
00:09:13We have a couple of fans who will be anonymous. They have asked that, we not mention their names. They are and this is crazy. They're planning a summer trip. Okay, specifically so that they can meet us and take us to dinner and they're going to pay for dinner. My Kelly. You're going to pay for dinner course you are. We got a message that said if we come up to Cincinnati can't we meet you guys and take you out for dinner and the answer is absolutely yes. We're going to Jeff Ruby's. Yeah. I'm getting the steak and lobster and a salad. I'm going to get a steak cooked at each temperature.
00:09:55The decide which one I like and then the rest, I'll take home to give to boo. Boo. I'll do that. Kind of sad. I can't imagine. I mean we live here. If I didn't live here. I don't know that. I would come to Cincinnati on a vacation and I certainly wouldn't come on up here to see you. We have all kinds of attractions and Cincinnati. We have Kroger yesterday. We have bone-sucking mustard and Memaw Memo's Tri-Cities titties. What is that a reason to go? Somewhere on vacation? Is it is okay to get a donut and not just to eat a doughnut by 4 fuse to believe that, okay.
00:10:55Why did he wanted to know what I mean? They come to Cincinnati. They can go to Cold Stone Creamery, nearby PetSmart. They could go to could go to a Reds game.
00:11:11I think I think tickets are still available or have the same time, are they could go see? It? Will. The Bengals are playing, there's a swing, they put a swing in down at the bank. So yes, there's that. My favorite thing to do. Ya come up to visit. I tell them when you're in Cincinnati, go over the bridge. Pay money to eat in Kentucky. Do you can see Cincinnati cuz people go to Newport. Kentucky Newport Kentucky makes a boatload of money from people who like to look at Cincinnati and they've got like it doesn't work the other way around people eating at Cincinnati go. Hey, look how cool Newport is. All they have over. There is a piano a restaurant or two in a couple of sharks.
00:12:11The Hall of Justice, the Super Friends. That's what it was designed after me. Something about Cincinnati. You are friends. Okay, super Superman. Batman Wonder Woman that sing that building 11 influence the other, look it up when I can't remember. If they designed the building after the cartoon, the cartoon designed. After the building was the other, that doesn't mean that's where it happened. But I'm not saying the SuperFriends exists. That would be somewhere else. Mike. I would say based on one of the New York bridges. I would say that if Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman actually did fight crime and existed, people would find out about it from a new source other than Eternal death syndrome.
00:13:11Haiti not we had 88 episodes of talk about more important than Superman and Wonder Woman in her invisible jet.
00:13:26Wondered whatever became of me.
00:13:35WKRP, actually I'm being serious. One of the coolest things you can come and see if you come to Cincinnati on vacation with Mike and Erin go down to Fountain Square. Go see the fountain that was in the opening for WKRP in Cincinnati ever seen that Fountain. I've been down there a few times. I don't think so hot down there in the winter. When I first moved here. This is October of 1999 job downtown at wcpo-tv and they give him my my break and I decide I'm going to walk down town. I live in Cincinnati. Now, I'm going to go see the Tyler Davidson Fountain. I walked all over looking for right left. This street, this tree back around. Like how can I not find a giant Fountain? Okay, how stupid am I couldn't find it anywhere. I finally pulled someone aside and said,
00:14:35I feel dumb. I can't find the fountain. Oh, they took it down. Like they took it down the fountain.
00:14:49The fountain has been taken down temporarily for cleaning and repairs. Sorry, folks Parks closed. Yeah, the girl that's what the sign said. Sorry, cuz I had walked past where it was supposed to be the 20 times. Anyway, they put it back up. It's been there for 21 years since they might need to go see it. I don't think I've seen it. Yeah, it's awesome. And I anybody else he wants to come up and buy Mike and I dinner you're more than welcome for the Walmart story of the week.
00:15:35So, I don't know if you could tell when you showed up. I'm I'm in a pissy mood. I'm pissed. Just stops happened to me. Okay, within the span of 15 minutes and I want to talk about each of them in excruciating detail cat. Number one. Number one in. This is a repeat a recurrence, which is the worst kind of just stopped, because didn't I just say just stop. We've told you to stop here. We all. Could you. Listen, so, know, all of these happened at Walmart, go figure stuff would be stopped going to Walmart. Walmart. I go back to Walmart. Every once awhile to pretend like I live in a dystopian future, and I hate that I'm living in third world countries. I'm going to go to Walmart because even the nice Walmart tomorrow, and whatever. I got something to say about Kroger later to even the nice Walmart. You feel like it's like a step back. Like, you're like, just behind those back door. Is there murdering
00:16:34People, you know, it's it's new year old at Walmart. You guys can murder all the people you want. In your back room. You can do anything illegal. You want to have more than one person operating the registers and I'll be a happy. Okay. So here's the thing. Go to Walmart to do, this will be fun for you. Do you ever go to Walmart? Use, I know you to Kroger, you go to Target cuz you got the same thing that I do, just like the walk around. Target, and look at the, I do like, walking out, like, you were my GF Hills, doesn't it? Yeah, cuz it's red. So go to Walmart. They have a new size of cereal. What is that Beyond? I don't know. It's like it's, it's okay cuz there's there's large and his family size. Yeah, and then now there's a giant sign that the one who has won more in debt in Walmart. They do weird things. Like the pathetic, like the small size for one person, eating for one. They have taped together boxes. They have boxes cellophane together. They have bags there.
00:17:34I'll just bag of cereal just bags. Yeah, like not. Here's the Isle of cereal. And here's a few bags. It's here's the boxes of cereal. Here's the bags of cereal. They have candy. Like you. It's just, it makes you feel gross. And because it doesn't have, and this is one of the things I've learned on the internet. There are people who have petitioned for them to have the Ziploc seal bag. Yes, come on, and I'm convinced fresh. Yeah. I'm convinced that when textile companies, guess Albanese that make the underwear and things like that or t-shirts and I'm convinced that when they screw up and accidentally we've LED thread into those things or something. Haha. They throw it in a box. It gets shipped to Walmart. Like everything else is going to. The normal store is it's like we wove a dead puppy into this one by accident as soon as the Walmart could have been Keno's on it and it'll be fine. I'm convinced they still have just old DVDs of weird stuff.
00:18:34Play David Hasselhoff's musical about whatever is in one of those old boxes and you shake it here. This is my point years ago. I wrote a tweet that said my life is about as organized as a Walmart DVD been somebody stole it probably got twenty or so this tweet that they stole got hundreds of like yeah, it's it's a more popular Tweeter. I think it's the same word for word. The same tweet guy. That's possible. It is possible. They have the saint but I agree with you that this has been for the past 20 years, say movies. You've got. Comes the Boom. When they can watch it for free on every major streaming to have got Hot Shots part Deux is in there.
00:19:31You've got one of the Rambo's, haha, and then you've got a good one. The good one in Escape From sobibor in the weird packaging is Skate in a bunch of all that. I actually have it. I bought it because I was sick of seeing it. It's it's you bought it because you were tired of seeing it at Walmart. It was a it was a movie we're going way back.
00:19:55I'm in the Walmart. Okay. Yeah, I'm coming out. I'm coming out. Haha. And there is somebody that has blocked the entire Lane a car. So, you know, the cars park, you have to get that the entire Lane, no one can get out of their parking space because somebody's waiting for somebody to move out of a space. They want to pull in that space and was like, six cars behind them going out into the road that comes into the Walmart. People are starting to honk. People unfortunate words are being thrown out there in. Imagine. What were the listener that we had? And he won't get to this episode for another year. So it doesn't matter if we're lucky, but I was, I was thinking, you have to eat those spaces. Look at the Walmart spaces. Next time you go there the way they're angled, you have to
00:20:55Pull in straight and back out. Otherwise, you're going the wrong freaking Direction, angle. So they get away from this from this jackass. Causing this traffic jam. I luckily had no one in front of me. So I pulled out. Now, I'm in the thing going the wrong direction, right?
00:21:15For the love of God and all that's holy. There is no every time every every time you're in a parking lot and you put your vehicle in Reverse. Yeah, you are pissing someone off your causing strife in the world. Stop it.
00:21:34Stop it, and don't don't do not do not respond to this episode and explain to me why it's safer to back in.
00:21:45Not as we can get to this letter. Have you back in you? Increase the chances that I'm going to get out of my car and come over and punch. You dead in the face in a Walmart parking lot. You date. They do. Things are breaking all kinds of pull all the way through there like going all the way up and then pull son of a bitch. That's what you mad at. The person who's blocking the whole thing waiting on the spot. Or are you mad at Kelsey? I'm mad at the person. I'm mad at the person. Yeah. I just realized that we need just stop by when you get in your car. The only thing you need to do is start it and leave it in your car. And where is my checkbook? And did, I don't look for your bike, your passports, getting your car, start the damn thing and leave. Well, here's where we met here.
00:22:45I do exactly that. I start watching the YouTube video cuz I hate when people do that.
00:22:51I take my time. I don't watch a video but I take my time or waiting for your spot Park Park back there and walk your fat ass into the Walmart.
00:23:02Can use the exercise. I can use the exercise Park back there and walk your fat ass. That's just stop number to. Okay, to squeeze. Learn how to manage yourself in a self checkout line. Now, I've talked before about the Kroger self thing that yells at you, put it in the bag, do the thing. I'm past all that. I witnessed a line in the self-checkout area of said, Walmart that stretched back all the way halfway. There's like 50 registers and only two of them have a cashier there and then they have the self checkout line with like 20 of those things around. Yeah. There's a line going out in these people. I saw at least three of those stations for somebody was standing there with an item in the right-hand. Look at the screen like
00:24:05What are you doing? This is an audio podcast. So for people confused as to what that sounds with that was Mike staring at the confusedly and his screen. What are you doing? What are you doing your job? When you come to a self-checkout Lane is it says to scan items? That's what it says that takes, what you read that as you're walking up to it. You don't have to stop and read that, right? Ok, Google scan. It. It tells you to put in the bag, you get your next item in the bag. You brought something to pay and you go on with your life. What the fuck? Are you standing there and reading?
00:24:47Will you read? What are you doing? Why are you standing there with a dumbfounded? Look on your face? I can understand if you're in a different country and it's a different language than what you speak and you don't understand that way. But it is a Japanese if that's happening. What are you doing in the self check-out line. Anyway, I should be where the people are, right.
00:25:05Stop with a dumbfounded looks at self-checkout. If you need to Walmart's open till like what midnight 12 in the morning, they used to be open 24/7, find out what time your local Walmart closes, go there. 30 minutes before it closes. Get a pack of gum and practice going through the self-checkout by and just buy it. And I'll take anything back by it. She would bring it back, come back through again and again, doesn't matter.
00:25:34My searches.
00:25:37Candy bar still the same. Walmart. I noticed this at the same Walmart, but I see it everywhere and share size. So now, I can't remember share size. You remember back when America was America, and, and people live their lives, according to American values. Yes, and you going to a gas station and they would have giant Snickers bars, giant paydays, but you cannot find, I can't find when I go to Walmart, Zero Bar, know they don't have the King Size, Snickers bars anymore. They have the share pack. It's 24 ports to be two Snickers bars in one package. But if you study it, if you look at it, one, regular Snickers bar is 250 calories. Okay. One is 200 calories. They're cutting off some of that.
00:26:37Which any God-fearing Christian? Snickers bar in person like me would see. Usually takes me three bites to get through a Snickers bar. I can get the rush are so I sent one maybe one and a half. All right. Yeah, three if I'm really stretching it, but that third one is not very satisfying.
00:26:56I want them to bring back the king size or at least stop telling me that you're giving me to bars in this year size when you're really only giving me 80% of a Snickers bar. You've struck a nerve with me because you can buy a the peanut Eminem's in the sheriff's eyes twitch. I laugh attack. So that was the fat guy's perspective. He was, I want more Snickers bars and I want you to quit letting me pull myself. Give me the king-size, call it whatever you want. I want to eat that, don't insult my intelligence by thinking that, I'm going to find another human being and give them the other one of those or like you said, the share size at it. The peanut Eminem's, I ain't letting anybody else's hand in that. I'm not like Reese's cups. Come to a pack. I'm eating both of those Little Debbie Swiss Rolls to go back again. I'm eating both. The reason that there's two in there is the first one is get rid of the shakes. You need to get video.
00:27:57You need to calm yourself, get that first. When you head calm down with that, get that first dopamine rush and then you can calm down and enjoy the second one. Right, right.
00:28:07This has been the Walmart story of the week. You're double dead syndrome is proud to be associated with newsly. The all-in-one audio, super app for IOS and Android for the first time ever. The entire internet becomes listenable. All in one place. Check it out to do is lie actually picks up articles about the most trending topics on the web and reads them to you. In a natural, human voice. Much like my own Beyblade, and I'm, in fact, an actual human then, guess what? Are podcast. Irritable. Dead syndrome is available there to listen to us every week on news, Lee and afterwards. If you feel like moving to another podcast, then knock yourself out. You can find trending podcast from over, 80 countries and digital radios. Well, so stop scrolling and start listening, download news Lee. Now just go to www.me and use this promo code. The number one or are another number one, did the letters, t a b.
00:29:07L e, d, a d and receive a free one-month premium subscription.
00:29:13Speaking of places that sell share size candy bars, in our neighborhood for people in Mustang, Oklahoma or Waterloo, Michigan or Pflugerville, Texas and West Chester, Ohio, where Mike and I live, we have a convenience store, a gas station called UDF. The United Dairy Farmers, which is the most weird name. I've heard for a convenience store. Okay. It's in between Mike's house and my house. Well back, I was driving home and I had my son, Cameron with me and I decided to pull into the UDF and get us and ice cream. Okay, and so we go in and he orders his ice cream. And I ordered my ice cream and then who walks into the store, but my Uncle, Mike, Mike, and I have lived, Like, We Live. 14 miles away from each other. Don't see each other. As much as we should. We have crossed paths twice now and all the years.
00:30:13Live 4 miles away from each other. But one of them was that the Home Depot? I went to the Home Depot. This is 5 years ago. I went to the Home Depot cuz I needed to buy a weed wacker or some people call a weed eater. It's not a weed eater. So I'm looking for a weed wacker and there's my little standing there with a weed wacker, and I was jealous because the one that you bought was the blower and Wacker combined, you can't and I'm like, I want the blower Wacker combo. Yeah, so you tell me where you don't go, just for a whack when you can get a blowout this together. And then I went home and because you and I talked this is before the podcast. This is one of those conversations that we should have recorded and that would be probably bitching about somebody out there.
00:31:13Waiting on a space. Exactly. And so I got home and let me like, how come it took you so long on my car ran into Mike and then I told her that you bought a blower Wacker and I bought a blower Wacker and she said, oh, how cute. All I might buy the same blower Wacker and you can drop the attitude and that's why I told her. It's the last one of the two times you and I have ran into each other. So we like the same things. We both love ice cream and cereal at Kroger. You would think we would occasionally end up running into each other? Like, we do you think we would see each other? All we have ever, freaking Kroger story of the week. You would think that you and I would run into each other at the Kroger. Anyway, we ran into each other and so Cameron bought his ice cream, but he got it in a cup. Yeah. Okay. I got my ice cream in a cone. Yeah, Mr. Mikey Uncle Mike comes in.
00:32:13You don't answer your see you're eating ice cream with a come there. And then you just like, you know Cameron, it just goes to prove my theory that the smart people eat ice cream. And then I looked at you. I said, I'm sorry. Are you still talking and I looked at your shirt and I said, oh cool. Nice of you to short stop being popular 1989 and I agreed with you taking Jabs at each other at the cashier. Finally just stops what she's doing and said, she thought knives were going to come out.
00:32:48You should see the look of contempt. She didn't know what to do with it. And I'm still had your card ready. Yeah, you know, a guy in between you and me. I wasn't concerned at all. I think he was enjoying the conversation. All guys are going to set my ice cream down. I think it is that what happened guys talk to each other. Like it's like a, it's like a territory thing.
00:33:22Get out of here.
00:33:33I'm not. Okay. So here's the thing, okay.
00:33:37I remember exactly what I was saying when you were paying cuz I just kept going on and on about house much smarter you are, or if you're smarter person, didn't were a better class of people. I remember that was when your eyes minutes again. Here's the thing with. I'm not saying that you were stupid for eating ice cream out of a cone. Okay, I'm saying that people who eat ice cream out of cups or a lot smarter than people who eat them out of combs. Do you know why? You know, the count was that because have you ever eaten ice cream out of a cup? I have what is left over in the cup when you're done. Yeah, ice cream residue. Look up. No, no. No, it's in the phone. Do I have leftover? Residue know, all the ice creams gone, but you had a time and you got a deal, you got to deal with drippy.
00:34:37You got to deal with. You going to do you know how fast I can eat your last bite. That it would be most mostly come deal with the drippys. I go for ice cream out. Go for Waffle. I want waffles. I got a Waffle House 101. Ice cream. I go to the ice cream. Place sugar waffle cones.
00:34:55Pholicious.
00:34:57And having said all that.
00:35:00I'm not I'm not going to pretend like I'm one of the gifts that I inherited from my father years ago. He came up to visit and we went to graders and I know you hate great as I don't like Graeter's. Yeah, and so dad got a double scoop of strawberry. Chocolate chip ice cream, the size of your head and he was done my dad the whole thing and I was like Justin and a little impressed.
00:35:40Would you like the ice cream doesn't drip? Because I am a pro fair enough. I just prefer the versatility of a cup. Okay? Yeah, I will say this though. When you go to Cold Stone Creamery, by the way, it's expensive. Yeah it is. Why didn't they ever get Stone Cold? Steve Austin to do a commercial for Cold Stone Creamery in the Cold. Stone Creamery knock off dude, cuz there used to be a Coldstone Creamery in that little Westchester. I know this is local stuff right away that little. They try to make it like a little Main Street down by the AMC theater on talking about there. Used to be a Cold Stone Creamery there and then it closed. And it reopened is it was like a frigid Rock Mill Creek? That's what I called it. These days change to use the synonym for each word. It was the same damn equipment and the same areas in Dakota's room.
00:36:40When I get it in a cup, I get the waffle cone in the cup right thing. And I get that with the chocolate on the on the tips of it and I was upset the last time we went there because they didn't have the ones with the sprinkles on top of it as well. Wow. That's that's a shame for several problems. This portion of our show has brought you by, where do plus? Yes, America's favorite five, letter word game that took the World by storm is now even better. Weirdo. Plus is 5 times more challenging five, times more exciting and five times more exhausting than ever before. But remember, you'll rebuild a daily word to anybody or you'll be dragged out on the front porch and beaten within an inch of your life. Where do Plus available wherever quantity? Word games are. So now back to you, bucking Dusty.
00:37:29I took my mom to a doctor's appointment. She had one scheduled near downtown, but near down far enough away. I told you, she just moved up here. She does, she's not going to get there. So I talked to my boss and they were nice enough to let me take a couple hours off in the morning and I took my mom to her doctor appointment. Okay, so we get there a little bit early and she said that she hadn't had breakfast yet. Like you got to be starvation, is actually I am what we don't have enough time to go get breakfast now, but I can take you somewhere right after we do the doctor appointment. And on the way back, we decided that we want to get breakfast at the McDonald's. Okay, and it's already 11 and they're not, tell me there was a time for a while, where they were serving breakfast all day long at the McDonald. Okay. Well, they stop doing that. But well, they did at the store.
00:38:25So that has nothing to do with the store.
00:38:31Absolutely. Nothing to do with the store McDonald's breakfast. Okay, we would have went somewhere else and I know I was concerned about your motivation for going to McDonald's. Now that I agree with me cuz your mom wanted a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit. Okay, now, so she orders a quarter pounder and the lady says,
00:38:57Tell me if the information on the screen is right. And I look at the screen and I see no information about a worker and I said there's I don't see anything. Am I looking in the right space? And then I thought I looked over all I see are drinks. I said and there's actually three drinks. We only need two of them. She was okay. Alright, I know I know, I know I know I know I'm like, okay and then she says is everything right now? And I said I don't see our food next to friends. I know, I know, I know and I know I can I see you are the one who asked me if the orders right? The order is not right. So that's why I'm the orderlies about, right? You started this one or two things can happen. When you asked that question. It's either right. Or it isn't right. You need to be prepared for either answer.
00:39:57We need to be prepared for that. Even if she doesn't ask clearly an optimist. She just assumes. It's going to be right with everybody. I'm sorry. I'm pissing you off but it's not right. I was telling my son this because it was just the McDonald's near my school, but he calls it, the McDonald's. And speaking of my son. We sent him to Kroger to get something it's time. Now for the Kroger story of the week. Jacob went to Kroger at Libby and send them out there. She sits on your way home run by and I need you to get a two things oranges oranges and hollow point bullets.
00:40:50Let's say it was oranges and then I need you to get some dental floss. Okay, so he can't find the dental floss and he asks the person where the dental floss is and they said I don't work here. Did he find someone who does work there? And then that person said, I don't know where the dental place is and then he used my words. Almost completely word for word. Hell, is there someone here? Who does know where that is? Can you take me to this person is this person doesn't know where the tent is? My argument was well.
00:41:32You were the person who asked someone who doesn't even work there. So I think they're kind of balance each other out has been. I want to know what ever happened to the stereotypical pharmacist. I mean, the dude that's up, like, 2 ft up from everybody else up and I had to like, look up like he was king or something for you, but, and I'm not saying that we need to go back to this. Okay, but for as long as I remember, the pharmacist were always men, I have no problem with email. Pharmacist is always a man, always someone like in their 40s or 50s or sometimes no hair. They always wore the white YouTube Mark. I've been like a mad scientist. I know, right? They look like scientists, which they are there for me, but it seems like every single pharmacist like you could go to a pharmacist convention and they would all just look exactly the
00:42:36The pharmacist world has changed this Pharmacy that we went to a couple weeks ago, but lady comes up. She's got a sleeve tattoo, make a diffuser under her smog yet the noses pierced again, like blue stuff to okay. I have no problem with it, but I'm like sheet. Have solutely does not look like a pharmacist. I would get drugs from that person pharmacist or was when she is. Insistent. I don't know because me not to have up to the pharmacy and I order so they have assistants. Okay, and and so at a local pharmacy, I've learned that the actual pharmacist is this this lady and they all kind of look similar back there, right? There's a few assistants and there's a few pharmacist.
00:43:36Learned that you can tell whether you're talking to an assistant or a pharmacist by the okay. So if I go up and it's it's an assistant, you know, it's like Mike has date of birth.... Can you repeat that? So yeah, I'll go look at the playing cards and eggs or wherever and then I got the same, I come back now. I didn't talk to the actual pharmacist that I was talking to the assistant. How can I get the pharmacist this lady? Who looked exactly, like who's the lady in contact?
00:44:20The contact Myrtle Street you going to do this to me again? She looked exactly the way that I could tell that she was a pharmacist. When she came up. It could have been. She could have been an assistant for the pharmacist. If she would come into one word name Mike date of birth for excuse me. I'm sorry. I was speaking to science. I'll speak slowly for you. Did you get the full request in front of us? I think that's what I'm I got to take this as soon as oral. That's right. Thank you. Thank you for coming to the park. That was the farm.
00:45:20Address you let me say that they're all so amazing and they've all been extremely nice and helpful. And if you told me, I have already said, Darren, you have to go to another Pharmacy. I said you go to hell. So the reason I say that is because I have a science E, major. Haha. And I went through all kinds of different science classes and you could never to be the valedictorian of our class. The dude who got a 4.0 all the way through. The first time I saw it was wearing a tie-dyed shirt. I mean, just just like that. Just like I walked they were like, well, he won't be here after a couple of weeks. So I just smoked everybody. Super super nerdy looking. People would fail out within the first year. You just can't tell but you learned by talking to people. So if you come up there like that.
00:46:20Okay, it was a bomb in his hand. You come up in your like did you get the chemistry? I got it. And I got all the answers and I have them here and I will give them to you but I'm smarter than you and I'm going to destroy you that smart person who you looking for this, not to say the pharmacy assistance, Arts more people because they all start out as a assistant. It's like an internship. Assuming that, cuz you have a sleep that to your nose piercing that that you're not smart or that you're not qualified to be a pharmacist. All I'm saying, is the image of the pharmacist has changed in the 1950s patriarchal, image of a pharmacist as dirty as the slightly. Overweight balding, man, with glasses in the white here. Can out of every orifice. There's guys spending a lot more time staring at the floor than talking to you.
00:47:18Let me ask you this. You mentioned tattoos. You have any tattoos? I do not I don't either. Have you ever considered getting one know? Because I can't stand needles and you can't answer. My thing is always been. I can't think of what I would want to be on forever, forever forever. But Bess, and I made an agreement that we were in tattoos when we hit 50. Okay, and that's coming up. I still don't know what you got. Yeah, if I had to like a state law that they would tote my ass away. If I didn't, I would get some type of Johnny Cash tattoo. I was thinking of doing a YouTube thing. Go figure. I was going to do like a Joshua Tree on one side and then a dachshund baby baby on the other side.
00:48:01So depending on what mood, I am surprised. There's a great image of Johnny Cash walking along a railroad track. He's got his acoustic guitar case of a long black jacket. I don't know if that would lie. If you did cuz knowing my luck I would get a new. Just look like baking, like a Rorschach test or just cash. Yeah. I had to if I if I had to it would be a Johnny Cash possibly, possibly a Billy Idol tattoo because Billy Idol is I think before I was at Kings Island, I saw guy with corn Korn tattoo on his neck.
00:48:47I'm here about the CEO position. Anytime. You see a face that you, you're seeing. That's a career decision. Especially my apologies. If you have a corn tattoo on your neck, I'm sorry, man. Tattoo on your neck. Okay? I have a friend who is a tattoo artist. Think about how it's going to be receives. I don't care where you get your tattoo, but you need to realize that if you get something on your neck or face, that's what people are going to be staring at when they're talking to you and her going to be thinking one of two ways. That's awesome that they got a corn tattoo on the right or what the hell's wrong with this person. I got a corn tattoo on their neck if there's nobody, that's going to be just and Evelyn about the chords. I do anyway, even the fact that it's on the neck.
00:49:47Okay, I'm not going to say they're bad, man. Have they survive the test of time, you know, when you put bands on, you only need to be legendary my ass.
00:50:01Spandau Ballet, I know you can't go like mid-tier band. Yeah, they have to, you have to use the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, test by that. I mean, they're either in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame or they're too cool to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Right? Cuz there's people on that side of things. But if they're just, they want to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but they haven't gotten there yet or they can't get in to get, maybe you don't put a tattoo on, you know, if a wall Nation Besson, I just got tickets to see Awolnation. Okay, in Columbus. Okay. I'm excited about him for a number of different reasons, one of which is that they started in 2009. So I told best this means we're not like old farts like a week. There's a new newish. Damn that we like and we can get into and Rec excited to see it. I'm not going to get an Awolnation tattoo. I'm going to enjoy the concert. I'm going to be singing along. I'm going to be
00:51:01I throw my hands up and I'm not getting a tattoo forty years from now. They may write Stairway to Heaven to exam be like the ultimate band ever. And then maybe my kids can get in a while. But I am relegated. I'm not allowed to get a tattoo from a band formed earlier than 1995 Johnny Cash's Dead. He's not going to ruin Rice career album. His cool bad asking because I need to go away. So it's in this is in Psychology or least. It's good. That it's, you guys can believe this as much as she going to look it up and you won't. So listen to me your your personality gets cemented in between 18 and 23. This is some weird video the other day by the time you're 23 you or who you're going to be your general personality doesn't really change that much. You can change your views, everything's but you're their core. Like your sense of humor. Those type of things are pretty much there.
00:52:02I'm not a hundred percent. Okay, pretty much. I'm going to visit agree with pretty much agree with pretty much as well. I'll back off. So I think that's usually around the time. People are done with college gear outside of college, or a year outside of the military. If you go to standard, I don't know what the standard for years or whatever. At that point. You are allowed to get a tattoo of anything that has happened prior to. You can't go out and get a tattoo five years from then on you should not see anybody our age with a Creed tattoo.
00:52:38Or Crash Test Dummies.
00:52:43You shouldn't know Pearl, Jam, tattoo is closed. You can do a Pearl Jam, like the alive guy, 100%. You can get a Black Sabbath would be like, whoa, dude, you're like old-school, your attic that work for Led Zeppelin, The Who Rush Beatles, all that stuff, knock yourself out, get the lips in the tongue. Even the people that were kind of shocked back. Then that that know when we get that people would make fun of your tattoo back, then, you can get that the monkeys that you can rock a monkeys tattoo right now, but Mike nesbeth the green hat. You can have used someone, our age could have a Rage Against the Machine tattoo. 100% Audio. Slave is close to not really man of me.
00:53:43Rule would be, I'm fine with a rage against Machine tattoo. I'm fine with Soundgarden tattoo, but Audioslave came after your window.
00:53:53And it's the same people. I get it. Yeah. Sorry, you missed your window. You were born too late for that too early for that. I'm obviously a on Letterman and, you know, let him go and just go off-script for like 20 minutes and Paul. Apparently Audioslave, a really bad. It's the lead singer of Soundgarden. Who do you think would win in a fight since Soundgarden? Rage Against the state will Rage Against the Machine?
00:54:40And I know that the directors for the yeah, we kind of show is brought to you by Montgomery Ward.
00:54:56Let's get two more cereal. Let's do songs that need to be retired. Mike Cat. Scratch Fever, a great farted. Have you listen to the lyrics of Cat Scratch Fever? Can we dive into that for a minute? It is Ted. Nugent Motor City, Madman.
00:55:21From Detroit. So Michigan. So a full disclosure first time. I saw kiss, Ted Nugent was the opening act. So I have actually seen Ted Nugent live not on purpose, but I did see him. I'm going to leave my opinion of Ted Nugent. I think everybody will be able to tell my opinion of Ted Nugent as we go through this. But I'll leave it at the door right now. Because I want to look at Cat Scratch Fever by itself. Will. I don't know where they come from, but they sure do. Come hahaha. Hello in the first two lines. Really, again. I hope they coming for me. I'm sorry. I hope they come in for me. Haha, and I don't know how they do it, but they sure do it good. You just said how they do it? Good.
00:56:09You said you don't know how they do it, but they sure do it good. So he cut. How do they do it? Good good. Actually, they do it. Well, English. I hope they doing it for free, which means he's willing to pay for it. I already do not like this man. I don't care who sings. This is Johnny Cash sing. This I'll be like, I don't know man. I don't know. I don't know. They give me Cat. Scratch Fever, Cat, Scratch Fever. Here's where it gets disturbing. Okay, the first time that I got it, I was just ten years old and I got it from some kitty next door. Okay? Okay. Okay. Okay, okay.
00:56:48I think we all know what he's talking about here when he's talking about Kat and kitty know I went to see the doctor and he gave me the Cure. I think I got it some more at the doctor. You got more secure or more Cat Scratch Fever. It's just I think they said they gave they gave me cat scratch fever. So now the doctors give it a test retriever. I've got a bad cat scratch fever.
00:57:19It's nothing dangerous. Cuz he realizes were concerned about his health when he went to the doctor and now everybody's giving cat scratch. So he goes in to soothe, soothe our nerves. Haha. It's nothing dangerous. I feel no pain. I've got to change.
00:57:38You know, you got it when you're going insane. It makes a grown man, crying and crying. Won't you make my bed.
00:57:47What does he's okay, all these years. I have never listened to any of the lyrics to Adele in this. Next when he decides. Maybe I've been a little he's like, maybe I've been too subtle. Maybe these folks. Maybe these fine folks don't know what I'm talking about saying, it just jumps right in. I make the her with the stroke of my hand and they know they getting it from me. Okay, they know. Just where to go the doctor. He just, I mean, wait a minute when they need their loving, man. They know I do it for free. Okay, I give them Cat. Scratch Fever. Now that he's now and then you just keeps talking about Cat Scratch Fever overnight. Soak the song. Make me feel like I need to take a shower.
00:58:39Yeah, when I look at okay, yeah, whatever. Your opinion of Ted Nugent. Is it is, you know, he's not a looker. I wouldn't say I've actually seen him twice because we went to see Damn Yankees in concert one time. He's one of these guys. He's one of these guys and I put it. I put him in the same category as Mick Jagger and James Hetfield walk with me down this Lane all of them. Ted Nugent Mick, Jagger, and James Hetfield. All looked cringy and creepy as hell and young. I mean, oh, yeah, but as I got older, they became fine-looking gentleman is a decent looking gentleman. Now, he has the Crazy Eyes. Those never left him, but he looks better older. So I feel bad for people like that because it's like Dad gone. Now, I'm old and I look, okay, but Cat Scratch Fever.
00:59:36As a kid, when I heard that song, I was like this feels like a wrong song.
00:59:43Yeah, I heard most of those cuz I listen to this song. The first song that came on my mind, when you said, let's pick one was that song? I like I should listen to that today. So what we've agreed on is that like two Fridays from now at 7 p.m. Radio stations all over the world can play cat. Scratch fever One Last Time stations, get rid of their copy of it. They don't play it live anymore. I'd like to think of the person who's excited when cat scratch fever comes on the thing. I just imagine somebody driving a old dirty Trans Am with a muffler Dragon, when they've got Milwaukee's Best in their lap.
01:00:27And a chicken in the backyard and there just after just like at that fist out the window.
01:00:35And they don't even bother putting a cigarette out. They just let their beard taken at the top of the show that my neighbor cut his grass in a most unusual fashion. And I'm talking about my neighbor who lives, two, if you face our house, he lives to the left of me. Okay? Okay, so we came home and we're in our kitchen eating dinner. And then we hear somebody mowing the lawn, I look out and it's my neighbor. Okay, kids out there, mowing his grass and dress pants, and a dress shirt, literally just got off of work, trying to figure out what's going on because he looks like a just a psychopath. Okay, as if almost like the stock market crashed, he lost his mind. He lost everything, didn't know what to do, when he's mowing the grass, then. And then a second theory, came across. His wife might have called him and said, what are you doing? And he says, oh, I'm I was just cutting the grass and she's so really, I'll be home in a half hour, and he was really at the casino.
01:01:35Pollos ass home more than at the casino. I don't know. But the grass in their dress pants and their work shirt. So I have two possibilities in my mind and I need to ask you a question to determine this. What day was? This was it today? No, so I'm pretty sure what happened was that he started getting calls.
01:02:05I'm going to mow the grass tonight. I'll mow the grass, then. Yeah, and then he's got like grass stains on it and whatever. I just can't figure out why he didn't take the time to change into a pair of shorts. But yeah, mowed the grass and his full accounting, uniform loser. We have listener mail. Ed Jones is a longtime fan of the show. Okay? Okay, he is listening to us since the beginning of somebody, we know of him wearing a fedora.
01:02:53And then he said that they think we're not serious when we say we hate these yet. So I guess, I thought we were just screwing around. So I guess to make a statement and then he asks a question. When we do the show live on the twitch. Our pictures are in one corner and one on the other corner and we weren't facing each other. In this bothered him that his nose out of joint at any guy. That's the guy he asked, if we can move the pictures for we face each other. So we change the pictures on the switch. So and moving now that I know he was wearing a fedora.
01:03:26So we fix the problem and now it's a bad guy that's back.
01:03:32Stick that in your stupid hat and suck it. Yeah, okay. I mention to her that we got a letter from somebody God. Dear it will Dad syndrome. Yeah, just started listening. So I went back to the beginning. Backing into a parking space is how the safety police train drivers. Take when you pull up to a spot you have a clear view of everything in the spot you're backing into when you back out. Even if you walked behind your vehicle, by the time you get settled, get started. Begin packing up. A kid could run out behind you or another car backing out. That is that is all I like know that. That is not all back into a kid while you're backing into your stupid space. Tell me that is all. That's all I'll tell you when it's all.
01:04:14Mr. I'm calling you from Montana. My car has a, a rear view camera so I can get when I'm backing out, but I still think people are showing off their kills me, is he, we mentioned this and I just stopped, I think on episode 5 tonight, then the same people anymore. No, no, and I was talking to him this person. And I said, if you listen to 10 episodes a day for the next nine or ten days, you'll get caught up.
01:04:50Oh, and then we just got a question from Robert Hill. Have you all thought about a Q&A show? We would love to do a Q&A show. Thank you for your question, but it would be profuse. Well, yeah, I mean, I will say, I mean so, you know, patreon. One of the things we do for the patrons is a task me anyting. We want to thank everybody for listening. We sincerely, appreciate it. Thank you again for getting us past. The 10000. Download Mark. I honestly, I just can't say enough about how happy I am and we hope you come back next week on irritable bowel syndrome.
01:05:34If you would like to financially support this podcast, go to irritable dad syndrome. Calm, and click on patreon. You will be the coolest person in your neighborhood. Thanks, and we'll see you next week. Many, many years ago. I wrote a tweet that said my life is about as an organized. I want her to tweet that said my life is about as as
01:05:55This is, this is why it's fun, by the way, pause, cut that out. And then early in the, in the episode. I said something about plugging a hole or plowing a thing. Cut that out. I don't remember that at all. OK, Google. Okay. Okay, okay.
01:06:32Are you thanking me?
- Wenbin
Founder and CEO of Listen Notes, Inc.